MNHQ here: what you told us about breastfeeding... and why some of you stopped

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

It's World Breastfeeding Week this week, and as part of our campaign for Better Postnatal Care we ran a survey with just over 1000 MNers with children under 5 asking them about their experiences of infant feeding. Many thanks to all who took part (it was a bit of a whopper).

We've got lots of really interesting information from you about breast and bottle feeding and your experiences of it, which we will use to inform our campaign - but for today we're focusing on the difficulties women encounter when they want to breastfeed (which 87% of respondents said they had wanted to do).

You can see the results here and our page about what we think the most common breastfeeding barriers are (based on the survey results) here.

In summary:

Among women who had wanted to breastfeed but had stopped within the first 24 hours, their reasons for stopping included:

The baby could not latch well: 41%
I felt I didn’t know what I was doing: 27%
I needed more help/support: 23%
It just felt incredibly difficult: 22%
Too physically painful: 15%

Among women who had initiated breastfeeding but had stopped by six weeks, their reasons for stopping included:

The baby wasn’t latching on properly: 56%
Worried I wasn’t producing enough milk: 42%
Breastfeeding was painful: 39%
I was overwhelmed/exhausted and something had to give: 34%
I found it difficult to express milk: 32%
I was worried the baby wasn’t gaining enough weight: 24%

Just ahead of the birth:

33% said they felt a lot of pressure to breastfeed;
47% were worried they would not be able to breastfeed; and
36% said they felt anxious about breastfeeding.

74% of respondents agreed with the statement: ‘There is too much emphasis on telling women why they should breastfeed, and not enough on supporting them to breastfeed.’

Among those who were still breastfeeding at six weeks, face-to-face support from healthcare professionals or breastfeeding counsellors was rated the most effective intervention, with 71% saying it contributed to their success. Partners' support was rated the best, with 81% saying their partners/spouses' support was excellent or good.

Many women found breastfeeding painful at first. Even among those who were still breastfeeding at 6 weeks, 31% agreed that ‘breastfeeding hurts/is uncomfortable’. Concerns about poor latch and milk supply also run throughout the survey results.

Among those who had stopped breastfeeding by six weeks, 34% agreed ‘I was overwhelmed/exhausted and something had to give’, and 22% agreed that ‘breastfeeding felt relentless’. Among all those who breastfed at any stage, 45% reported finding it difficult during ‘periods when the baby breastfed constantly or very frequently’.

Perhaps not surprisingly, women who had breastfed before were significantly more positive and relaxed about breastfeeding subsequent children. When compared with first-time mums, veteran breastfeeders were more likely to want to breastfeed (92% vs 87%), less likely to feel pressured to breastfeed (21% vs 39%), and felt much more confident directly before the birth about breastfeeding (54% vs 30%).

Have a look at our breastfeeding barriers page and tell us what you think - do our findings echo your experience? What can be done to really support women when they need it? What sorts of interventions did you have that helped you - or what would you have liked that you didn't get?

We will use these findings to work with health organisations to see if we can get better, more useful support for women who want to breastfeed.

Thanks
MNHQ

mini That was a spectacularly nasty post even by your standards. I see you had great support from an independent midwife. Good for you. They don't come cheap do they? It was only a matter of time until you turned up like a bad smell on this thread.
Posters have spoken about being brought to the brink of insanity by persevering with breastfeeding or of babies becoming dehydrated or losing dangerous amounts of weight.
It's actually you sticking your fingers in your ears by never acknowledging these stories and going 'la la, not listening, you just couldn't be bothered'.

My milk didn't come in for 7 days post birth. Midwives were coming round the ward pinching my nipples hard to express minute amounts of colostrum. DD was awake constantly as she was so hungry. I asked for formula on the ward and have never regretted it. By the time my milk did come in we were home, established bottle feeding and it worked for us. When the milk did come in it was excruciatingly painful: I couldn't lift my arms past breast height. I purposely let my milk dry up asap and we've been happily bottle feeding ever since. I have found other mums and medical professionals extremely judgemental about me not BF. A GP and another health professional (both men) lectured me on not BF and I've had accusatory comments from other women "and why are you not breastfeeding?!" - because it's my body first and foremost and none of your business! And because it it didn't work out for us. I have been very polite to judgemental people but I think if anyone starts when I have baby #2 should I struggle to BF I'll be telling them to fuck off and mind their own business.

I was absolutely determined to BF as I knew it was best for my baby and I am a cheapskate. Why buy milk when you can make your own?

I fed all three of my DC for almost 12 months. Each one gave it up themselves, when they ready.

We never had a bottle or formula in the house. I look back on my BF days with enormous pleasure and satisfaction.

Ropsley Don't you think that your post is incredibly insensitively worded on a board where women have shared terrible stories about their BF struggles? Try not to be so flippant. 'Just making your own' doesn't work out for a some number of women.

I breastfed really successfully but at times felt very overwhelmed by the negative perceptions of BF, especially coming from other women. A lot of mothers who FF are really unpleasant about BF, maybe sometimes without really meaning it or thinking about the impact on those who are listening. The constant put-downs about breastfeeding can be so demoralising and upsetting.

And every time there is a thread like this about 'why don't more mother breastfeed' it seems to just become a chance to blame women who do breastfeed! By all means, do what works best for you, but attacking and blaming women who breastfeed is just perverse.

I had a lot of support, which I'm very grateful for -- particularly from older women, people in their 50s and 60s who had a lot of experience and wisdom. The advice was great, but also there was something so nurturing about the reassurance they could offer just by being there with me and letting me know that I was doing a good job persevering. And they'd done it before, and could sympathise through the tough bits, and their experience (e.g. baby not gaining weight as quickly as a formula fed baby would have, but growing and thriving overall) gave me the confidence to continue.

Also, I think we need more resources around breastfeeding and work. A lot of women give up when they return to work because at that later stage the breastfeeding support isn't there, and it's now become so unusual that there are very few examples of BF/working mothers to get inspiration and advice from.

And finally, asking mothers to cover up while breastfeeding is shaming behaviour and ought to be illegal. While I know it's illegal to ask a mother to stop breastfeeding, I seriously wonder whether shaming women for breastfeeding and talking about how it is obscene and should be covered up should be considered a form of hate speech.

Also support either online or via phone lines proved invaluable. I was on the verge of giving up several times but found information on KellyMom and on a breastfeeding support line (can't remember if it was La Leche League or a local NCT thing) that was the only reason I could continue -- like, much better information about whether medications would interact with BF and how to manage it, and practical advice on how to increase my supply when I felt it was dipping at a time of stress. It worked, and if I hadn't had access to that information I would certainly have been at the point of giving up.

I wonder if @MNHQ could put together some information based on TWO sets of surveys?

1. Women who stopped breastfeeding -- what were the challenges they faced? How could these challenges have been better supported?

1. Women who continued breastfeeding -- what did they get support with? Who/where was it from? How was it funded?

I think if you are just focusing on women who stopped breastfeeding, you might miss some of the fantastic sources of support and information that some of the rest of us managed to find by luck or accident. And the combination of those two things could add up to a wonderful list of resources, a better understanding of what can help, and a wishlist that we can campaign for in order to improve the accessibility and quality of the support on offer.

I agree with NotMyPenguin that you should do what you want. These are our bodies and our babies. Nobody else should be involved in our decision to BF or not regardless of the reason. If something is right for you, great. It might not be right for the next person. I especially take umbrage to men lecturing me about breastfeeding as it's something theyre not even capable of doing. If everyone just minded their own business the whole subject wouldn't be so unnecessarily stressful.

I breast fed until DD was 7 months. I soldiered on through two cases of Mastitis and found sound weird and wonderful positions to enable me to feed (was born with only one hand) I stopped because I saw her routines going backwards at that stage. She was riverting back to feeding every hour, went onto formula and she settled right back to 'normal' feeds every 4/5 hours or so

Yes! Language like "you must", "you'll be allowed", and "have to" should be banned! (Whether it's being used to encourage mothers to BF or FF... it's toxic and unhelpful either way, and totally gets people's backs up -- as we know from birth experiences too!).

The language used with mothers should always be empowering, informing, and respectful of our ability to then make up our own minds!

With that said, I think the extremely low rates of breastfeeding in the UK are now a systemic problem, because they leave us as a society with few positive examples of breastfeeding. We do need to think now about what more we can do to normalise and support breastfeeding, because the best way (mums and grandmothers and aunts and friends who've done it) is sadly often now gone. But how can we do it in a way that is genuinely respectful of women, showing rather than telling?

I am still BFing my 16 month old. We have had our ups and downs but overall I have loved it.

Pre baby I read up lots. I read the book 'you've got it in you' and 'the womanly art of breastfeeding'. I knew all the stuff about cluster feeding and not to doubt myself about my supply and I am convinced that this gave me the right mindset to want to succeed. However at no point did I feel that these books made me feel like I had to BF if I didn't want to. I can be quite contrary and sometimes rebel against people who tell me to do something. thankfully at no point in my experience did I feel pressured- probably the opposite, actually.

Anyway, my experience-
issues- baby was in NICU for a spell, so I had to pump and tube feed for the initial weeks. This relentless pumping regime led to an oversupply and I developed mastitis. I found pumping through this so sore, but I think because the LO was in nicu, I was given loads and loads of support. I was also in hospital recovering from complications from the birth so I had round the clock post natal support, patchy as it can be. It was better than being at home alone! While pumping, I loved watching my milk go from lurid bright yellow, to pale gold, to creamy and then eventually to white around day 7. It kept me going, seeing my milk go into his tube and I would enjoy pumping and then me and DH racing up to nicu to administer the milk.

Mercifully when LO came off the tube and we put him to the breast, he latched perfectly like a total pro. This is entirely down to luck. I was so lucky.

We got home and all of a sudden feeding was not so easy. It felt like my nipples were being stabbed with broken glass. Lansinoh seemed to make it worse. My midwife and HV could only say 'sometimes it just hurts, it gets better'. My GP suggested I stop BFing.

I found a private lactation consultant who took one look at my nipples and the baby's mouth and diagnosed us both with thrush. She wrote a letter to my GP saying I was to go on high dose fluconazole protocol. Within 5 days I was feeding painlessly. My LC was my lifeline. She taught me laidback BFing, she helped with my self esteem re public feeding, and gave me tips about going back to work (which I had to do fairly early, and which I was worried would wreck my supply/ BFing relationship.) She introduced my to jack newman's teachings and his instructive videos (which BTW every expectant mum who wants to BF should be shown). She was also a sounding board around the dreaded teething/ biting stage, and she is now my support as I BF a giant toddler.

Again, I totally appreciate I was lucky. I had the resources to pay for a LC and the wherewithal to trust my instincts that something wasn't right. Imagine if all women who wanted to BF had access to an amazing LC like mine? Imagine it wasn't a total bloody lottery?

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had not had birth complications and we had both been discharged from hospital on day 2, before my milk have even come in. I suspect we may not have BF quite so well. I will never know, and my journey is my journey. I guess that when I think back to those awful weeks in NICU, I have the happy thought that something good came out of those dark times.

Must also pick up on some earlier comments regarding GP's and their knowledge on medications and breastfeeding.
At 5 days post partum I was struggling massively with insomnia (as I have done throughout other stressful periods of my life) I attended my GP who refused to prescribe a low dose anti depressant which I had previously been prescribed from the same practice used short term for insomnia

There is a lack of knowledge from GPs and pharmacists about what you can take whilst BFing and they tend to (obviously!) err on the side of caution. I had to try a new anti-depressant when I developed PND instead of using one that had worked for me in the past, for instance. Better information for them would help hugely too- it makes it twice as hard to BF if you're ill with something and can't actually take the drugs you know work.

Cardinal interesting you found the Womanly art of breastfeeding useful as I was given it as a present when pregnant and found it rather preachy and judgmental. Ended up hurling it across the room in tears later on whilst BFing as I found its advice about PND so useless.

It's why I'm hesitant about recommending a particular book about BF as it is such a personal thing.

NannyOggsKnickers

There's absolutely nothing wrong with posting a positive story about successful breastfeeding. Why shouldn't I feel pleasure and be able to post about it?

I think it's terrible that you're attempting to make me feel guilty for breastfeeding my DC. Shame on you!

I've supported other women who wanted to breastfeed and they found my positive experiences very inspiring.

Riding I did find some of it quite quaint and I totally get how it could annoy. I must have admit I blocked out the preachy parts and focused on the more technical advice. I went back to work when my DS was still quite young and it was quite dismissive of 'people like me'. You are quite right, it's not the most balanced read and I ought to have caveated my post. A much easier read is the Emma Pickett book I mentioned (You've got it in you.) It can be a bit repetitive, and it states the bleeding obvious sometimes, but I really needed that at the time!

I wish I'd had access to these stats when pregnant with my first. With breastfeed support, I found a massive rhetoric around 'if it hurts, you're not doing it right', which was deeply unhelpful. In hospital postnatally, I had lots of HCPs comment on the latch looking good, then when I pointed out I was in pain, told that it must be wrong, but given no further practical support. I discharged myself at 2am and went straight to Tesco for lansinoh and pre-made formula bottles. For weeks and weeks I expressed, fed, used nipple shields and slathered on lansinoh and eventually resumed EBF (and continued to 2 and beyond!).

My feeling is, HCPs need to acknowledge how painful it can be for some (many?) women and support feeding 'imperfectly' rather than it being a case of all or nothing. Yes, nipple shields might affect supply and latch, but if you're sat dreading the baby waking up because they'll need feeding and you're in agony, they'll do! Ditto expressed milk, bottles, formula, whatever! Sometimes, you just need to get through the next feed and then regroup. There also needs to be support available quickly. I phoned up for an appointment at the breastfeeding support clinic and couldn't see anyone for a week. I didn't know if I would still be feeding by the end of the day, waiting as long as a week when you're struggling is not good support IMO.

Ropsley I said your wording was insensitive. I'm not trying to shame you for providing a positive story. It is brilliant that you had a good experience. But in the context of the thread they way you went about sharing that came across as: BF is so cheap and easy, I don't know why everyone doesn't do it.
In the context of a thread where posters have discussed dehydrated babies, hospitalisation, lack of milk production and PND brought on by BF failure it was flippant. Context is key. Would you say the same thing in the same way to a mate who was upset about failed BF?

NannyOggsKnickers

This is an internet forum, talking of context! When people use this medium they have to remember that all the usual clues, when we speak to people, are missing. You are putting your own slant on the way I gave my story.

Breastfeeding figures in this country are abysmal, which is a terrible shame. Those of us who did breastfeed should apparently keep quiet so others don't get upset, according to you.

I'm appalled at some of the back biting on here aimed at those of us who did breastfeed.

You should read the wording of your own posts NannyOggsKnickers, and consider your lofty position up there on your high horse.

Don't be so silly. Lots of people have posted really interesting and positive BF stories. They managed not to be smug and boasty.

You misread the situation. It happens. But as someone who really struggled to BF and developed PND because of it I found your post upsetting.

Ropsley its great that you had a positive experience of breastfeeding, but saying
Why buy milk when you can make your own?
can be seen as insensitive when quite a few people on here have said they were not able to produce enough so had to use formula.

Cardinal don't worry, I'm glad the book helped you and it definitely is each to their own when it comes to books like that. The person who gave me the copy for my birthday present had clearly found it helpful herself and was simply trying to help. They gave me BF teabags as an Xmas present...

Later on I heard Clare Byam Cook on Woman's Hour and got her BF book from the library which I found really helpful and one of the reasons I'm still going now at 20 months.

The Why buy milk when you can make your own line is exactly what I thought when pregnant and what I was led to believe by the BF leaflet and workshop.
The reality turned out to be somewhat different!

Thank you for this campaign MN. Echoing other posters in that the support for new mothers is woeful. I purposely haven't looked but imagine it's worlds apart from what you'd experience in other countries. It's as though once you've had the baby, if you're able to walk and talk then well...what's your problem?!

It's obvious but hadn't occurred to me about PPH and low milk supply. Like some others, I was lucky that my HV and my GP both realised it was flooring me, and told me I should consider my options. I did, and switched. Everyone was much happier. I didn't feel guilty because I didn't think I needed to but I do understand why you would. You're so exposed and vulnerable, and you should be supported. But you're just not. It's sheer luck who you come across, it would seem.