MNHQ here: what you told us about breastfeeding... and why some of you stopped

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

It's World Breastfeeding Week this week, and as part of our campaign for Better Postnatal Care we ran a survey with just over 1000 MNers with children under 5 asking them about their experiences of infant feeding. Many thanks to all who took part (it was a bit of a whopper).

We've got lots of really interesting information from you about breast and bottle feeding and your experiences of it, which we will use to inform our campaign - but for today we're focusing on the difficulties women encounter when they want to breastfeed (which 87% of respondents said they had wanted to do).

You can see the results here and our page about what we think the most common breastfeeding barriers are (based on the survey results) here.

In summary:

Among women who had wanted to breastfeed but had stopped within the first 24 hours, their reasons for stopping included:

The baby could not latch well: 41%
I felt I didn’t know what I was doing: 27%
I needed more help/support: 23%
It just felt incredibly difficult: 22%
Too physically painful: 15%

Among women who had initiated breastfeeding but had stopped by six weeks, their reasons for stopping included:

The baby wasn’t latching on properly: 56%
Worried I wasn’t producing enough milk: 42%
Breastfeeding was painful: 39%
I was overwhelmed/exhausted and something had to give: 34%
I found it difficult to express milk: 32%
I was worried the baby wasn’t gaining enough weight: 24%

Just ahead of the birth:

33% said they felt a lot of pressure to breastfeed;
47% were worried they would not be able to breastfeed; and
36% said they felt anxious about breastfeeding.

74% of respondents agreed with the statement: ‘There is too much emphasis on telling women why they should breastfeed, and not enough on supporting them to breastfeed.’

Among those who were still breastfeeding at six weeks, face-to-face support from healthcare professionals or breastfeeding counsellors was rated the most effective intervention, with 71% saying it contributed to their success. Partners' support was rated the best, with 81% saying their partners/spouses' support was excellent or good.

Many women found breastfeeding painful at first. Even among those who were still breastfeeding at 6 weeks, 31% agreed that ‘breastfeeding hurts/is uncomfortable’. Concerns about poor latch and milk supply also run throughout the survey results.

Among those who had stopped breastfeeding by six weeks, 34% agreed ‘I was overwhelmed/exhausted and something had to give’, and 22% agreed that ‘breastfeeding felt relentless’. Among all those who breastfed at any stage, 45% reported finding it difficult during ‘periods when the baby breastfed constantly or very frequently’.

Perhaps not surprisingly, women who had breastfed before were significantly more positive and relaxed about breastfeeding subsequent children. When compared with first-time mums, veteran breastfeeders were more likely to want to breastfeed (92% vs 87%), less likely to feel pressured to breastfeed (21% vs 39%), and felt much more confident directly before the birth about breastfeeding (54% vs 30%).

Have a look at our breastfeeding barriers page and tell us what you think - do our findings echo your experience? What can be done to really support women when they need it? What sorts of interventions did you have that helped you - or what would you have liked that you didn't get?

We will use these findings to work with health organisations to see if we can get better, more useful support for women who want to breastfeed.

Thanks
MNHQ

I'm happy with 'helping someone let go', Nanny - that may well involve reassurance.

The best hcps and supporters, whether in health or in life, don't give people 'permission'. We are (happily) moving out of the era where people feel they must do what the doctor says, just 'cos they're the doctor (and any doctor will tell you people often don't do what they're told, anyway). But an enabling approach, after dialogue, is what more and more people appreciate these days.

I think the "problem" is that most women want to BF & find it very hard to let go of it; I certainly did.

Both my DC were premature & required tube feeding in NICU/scbu - neither could latch or feed, so I expressed - and drove myself insane trying to express, bottle-fed & trying to get them to latch, unsuccessfully.

After about a month of not leaving the house at all, getting 20mls Per express from my right boob, plonking my toddler DS in front of the TV whilst I expressed night & day, I gave up.

The midwife did one post-natal visit & couldn't get DD to latch. She felt the local BF cafe wasn't the right place for the more complex support I needed. And suggested the hospital group; this was a 30 min drive away, I'd just had an emcs & no-one to look after DS. It was impossible.

If I hadn't been chucked out of hospital 48-hrs after DD was born, while she was still in NICU, and allowed to room in, I might have got a better supply. If someone could have visited me at home, that might have helped too. Or if I'd been able to afford a lactation consultant. Or a nanny to look after DS so I could pump more.

But none of these things happened, so it is what it is. I still feel sad though.

In my experience TikTok you would be a rare case. I really believe that the current culture and language around BF is too emotive and exclusive and is filled to the gunnels with half truths and alternative facts. There must be a reason why up take in this country is lower than other western countries. And I don't think it's that British women are lazier or less well informed. I honestly think that the method of campaigning is actually having the opposite effect and putting people off.

You quite often see the assumption on MN that BF, especially extended, goes hand in hand with being a 'lentil weaver'. It is still seen, by what I imagine is the real target market as being quite middle class. It belongs to the kind of people who can afford private antenatal classes and get to have an full maternity leave. Just look at the price of BF associated clobber- breast pumps, nipple cream, nipple shields, breast pads, maternity bras, dresses to BF in etc. It might be cheap if you know what you are doing but the culture that surrounds BF in this country is pretty exclusive.

The 'advertising' , for want of a better word, of BF needs to be more realistic and open about issues. I did two BF course before DD was born and at both the course leader brushed any issue under the carpet- as though they were afraid that discussing them in any way would put us off. Fore warned is fore armed! It really would be better to have the full picture so that people can get past the first few difficulties without too much worry.

Essentially, BF advocacy needs to cut the bullshit and stop relying on statements based on shakey facts. It is not helpful (and I'm not suggesting you do this but I've seen it too often online and IRL) to bang on and on about breast fed babies won't get allergies or how they'll be healthier or any wilful misrepresentation of the facts that present BF babies as Superman. It is not so.

If we want more women to BF, because they want to and not because they feel forced to, then sell them the real benefits- it can be cheaper (you don't need all the stuff) and it can be a nice way to bond with your baby (if you like that kind of physical contact). I can't think of any more but there must be some.

Essentially, a more caring and less punitive approach. Something that is less based on over hyped advertising and 'exclusive' BF circles.

One of my bugbears, as a HCP, is the statements made about BF, for example regarding breast cancer - what it doesn't say is that you need to EBF for 1 year to get this benefit; but of course there's no disclaimer on that one. Same with ear infections, bronchiolitis etc - we know BF reduces these - but by how much?

As a woman, it would be nice to be treated like an adult & given correct information to help support decisions. Rather than having this "breast is best" superiority without statistics to back up facts. No other "product" for want of a better word - would get away with this type of advertising.

If you're an hcp, prosecco, you can check your figures. Any BF reduces the risk of breast cancer. The effect is cumulative. You can also check the ear infections, gastro figures - do the search yourself, as you will have log ins for the academic databases.

And your understanding of ebf is wrong. No baby is ebf till a year. They have solids alongside BF....long before a year.

But whatevs. You don't have to do it for a year to reduce your risk.

Hope you don't pass on this misinformation to mothers in your care :(

@tiktok no, I didn't have milk - it hadn't come in yet (difficult birth, lots of fluid by drip, PCOS, diabetes). Tongue tie not snipped until day 3 so baby not properly stimulating breast until then. I pointed out to midwives lack of poo and total lack of wet nappies but was patronised and told that new mothers often couldn't tell if a nappy was wet or not. I fed on demand continuously - starving baby howling but never satisfied. I dropped her on day 4 as I was so tired I fell asleep sitting upright and she slid out of my arms. Rang midwife helpline and they just said to keep feeding on demand and had I tried hand expressing?!

What should have happened is that a midwife put together all that and suggested topping up with formula whilst still putting baby to breast plus expressing to stimulate supply. Instead I wasn't listened to and was patronised.

As I've said elsewhere, my milk eventually came in seven weeks later.

Bike, sad tale :( Really bad care. And dangerous.

Quite. I did eventually complain, got a meeting with the Head of Midwifery and something have improved since (spoke to a Mum of a two week old last month who'd had similar issues but got support for supplementing with formula).

The idiot midwife who ignored the wet nappies etc was 'had a word with' but I don't think actually disciplined. She hasn't written my concern in my notes so there was no evidence I'd said it. If I had another one I'd make sure I'd read the notes before they left the house and that I agreed with what was put! I also wouldn't let that midwife anywhere near me again.

I fed my first for 10 months, it was such hard work to start with because of:

• tongue tie (which was treated and feeding improved)
• engorgement - there was not enough information on what to do when your boobs are so hard the baby can't attach. This happens at the worst point, normally when you're back at home and no access to support. A midwife visit for the odd half an hour is not enough help to sort out any feeding problems.

After two or three months feeding got a lot easier and I am really pleased I persisted with it.

With my second, the baby and I both had thrush, which after a lot of fuss from me, was treated. I did find that doctors knew almost nothing about it and the delays in getting to see a doctor and finding the right medicine to treat it were long. This is not a problem where you should be made to wait a week to see a doctor. There was no sense of urgency around my need for treatment - thrush is extremely painful and feeding was like stabbing my nipple with a piece of glass. A delay in treatment could mean the difference between somebody continuing with feeding or giving it up.

I had bad anxiety after my second child. This built up over the months and six months along, the adrenaline I was producing affected me so much that I physically could not get the let down reflex. Adrenaline counteracts the breastfeeding hormone and this is something that no professional knew anything about, I found out myself by researching - I had to give up and I still feel guilty about this.

It seems to me that there is a lot of focus on getting the numbers up but very little practical help and knowledge about breastfeeding and the problems people can have with it.

I also had great support in hospital. I was staying in as both my son and i were unwell so we had daily help. I managed to breastfeed for 18 months and loved it but im not sure i would have done that if i had been discharged from hospital quickly. I think that sheds some light on the matter. More support is needed. Leaflets don't cut it, we need someone helping to get a mouth on a breast and then being there in the dark nights when its not working.

More Your right. There are many figures bandied around that are either misleading or half truths. It really is disgraceful. But I find that people who are involved in BF support get very defensive when you ask for peer reviewed evidence for these claims.

But most of all, the current campaign tactics miss out that BF is only right and beneficial if it works out for you. The message should be 'have a go an see how you get on' rather than 'if you don't you're letting down your child' which is the heavy implication of the current campaign.

Sorry you're right

facepalm

I have had more positive experiences than some which i am grateful for. DS1 i told midwife of my intention to breastfeed and felt no pressure apart from being given leaflets etc encouraging to do so. Once he was born I struggled to get him to latch and stayed in hospital with nurses attempting to help me get it right before we left. Most were helpful and caring in helping establish this so called natural instinct.... what I soon realised was we both had a lot to learn and no NCT class could prepare me for this. That said once established and i discovered Lanisoh cream I was pleased to exclusively breastfeed until 8 months. For me stopping was due to top and bottom teeth... I drew the line at being bitten!
DD1 was much easier for me to establish as I already had the 'skills' and i could help teach her. Though I could have easily stopped. An 8 week wait to sort her tongue tie was 8 weeks of pain as she couldn't properly latch and feeds lasted for ever. Thankfully once it was cut feeding dramatically improved. I think simply prioritising these types of appointments would help others continue. Luckily too I have a very supportive husband and family and still exclusively breastfeed DD at 5 months. What I have found is the lack of support from health visitors and their constant surprise that I'm still breastfeeding and no encouragement or checking how it's going etc just surprise

I breastfed for 5 years across three children. Pretty much no support OR promotion that I can recall from the NHS beyond being asked how I was going to feed my baby and a 'good' when I said 'breastfeed'. I had brilliant support from an independent midwife with my second and third.

I personally think now is the time for the NHS to simply start handing out a leaflet to all mothers containing peer reviewed evidence on the issues around infant feeding choices and not discuss it further in antenatal appointments unless directly requested by the mother. The leaflet could be easily ignored/thrown away by those women who are ambivalent towards breastfeeding or have no intention of doing it, and prefer to take a 'fingers in their ears' approach to this aspect of their child's wellbeing. Extra resources could then be put into running a good quality antenatal workshops for parents who want to know as much as possible.

Prior to birth women should be asked to fill in a questionnaire which would aim to identify women's strength of feeling towards breastfeeding. Those women who are just paying lip service to the idea of breastfeeding in order to salve their conscience, but who intend to stop if breastfeeding is at all challenging could be identified, so midwives can stop wasting their time trying to help them and concentrate on those women who passionately want to breastfeed and will appreciate the help and encouragement, rather than interpreting this help as 'pressure and bullying'.

And then the government should scratch national breastfeeding celebration week which has become an excuse for lots of bitter people to pop up in the media talk long about how rubbish and pointless breastfeeding is, and engaging in lots of character assassination of midwives and breastfeeding supporters.

And at the same time the government should fully implement the code on the marketing of baby milk and stop those slippery fuck nuggets Milupa, Nestle and Wyeth plastering their marketing all over the papers/tv/bus shelters etc.

Job done.

What a self righteous, nasty, judgey post. Same as usual, eh mini.

Posts like this are what put people off BF.

Off you trot to sanctimommy somewhere else, there's a lamb.

Lol at 'fingers in ears'. I can never understand why minifingerz goes all OTT on breastfeeding threads.

I absolutely agree that we need to stop talking so much about why women should breastfeed (funnily enough most women/expectant mothers know that) and focus on getting proper support to women.

I "successfully" fed DS for 13 months. I'm now feeding DD, who is 10 months and I expect to stop at a similar age. Issues I faced:

• morphine based painkillers in labour meant DS was slow to latch. Perseverance (and support in the low risk birth unit during a 4 day stay) meant we got going.
• flat nipples very strongly attached to the breast tissue, combined with DS' very small mouth meant feeding was painful for 10-11 weeks after DS was born.
• whenever I asked for help and support with this issue the same advice was trotted out over and over again by several different breastfeeding supporters, but it wasn't relevant and no one actually listened to to issues I had and offered properly tailored, appropriate advice. If I have to hear one more person airily recommend laid back breastfeeding as the answer to any and all breastfeeding issues, I will scream. Laid back breastfeeding doesn't work so well when your boobs are bigger than your baby's head. In the end I carried on because I didn't know what else to do.
• one breastfeeding supporter I spoke to had never actually breastfed her own children. She was the hospital's main breastfeeding expert. Whilst I don't doubt that she knows her stuff from a theoretical perspective there is simply no substitute for having been there, done that at 3 am when your two day old baby is so hungry she won't latch and your milk hasn't come in yet.
• DS refused to take a bottle and was slow to wean onto food. Being completely tied to DS took a huge toll on my feelings of good mental health from age 9 months until I stopped. Two days before I stopped feeding him, I was suffering with tonsillitis and SOBBING while I was feeding him that I would never be able to stop. No one ever talks about what to do if you want to stop feeding but can't.

Getting breastfeeding established with DD was a lot easier but it can still be very painful at times even now and is physically and emotionally draining. Once babies get past about 4 months they have their own ideas about latch and positioning that all the will in the world can't argue with. This time round, I have had repeated issues with blocked ducts. With both children I have also had referrals to the breast screening clinic (all was well, they turned out to be milk cysts) but that is worrying at the time.

No one talks about the issues you can face even if feeding is going well on the face of it.

I firmly believe that if more women could be helped to mix feed successfully, they would continue to breastfeed for longer overall. I do understand that mix feeding in the very early days can have an effect on supply but I don't believe that the attitude that introducing a drop of formula will be the death knell for feeding is helpful.

I also believe that statistics about the benefits of breastfeeding should be stated on a comparative basis. The simple reality is that in the western world there are benefits to breastfeeding but they are not as statistically significant as is often suggested.

Perhaps you misunderstood my post tiktok, or I wasn't clear. Let me clarify: I would like to see UK-based graded-evidence guidelines e.g. NICE on infant feeding, so that women can make informed decisions about BF. Not just being told it is "better".

And yes, I can access databases & make decisions for myself, but that's pretty difficult if you're a lay person. And no, I don't "misinform" as you assume, wrongly.

This thread was started by MNHQ about the difficulties women have had trying to breastfeed & why they stopped. Many women have shared their experiences of this, and the distress than can follow when BF doesn't work out.

It's a shame it's been hijacked by the morally-superior, pro-BF lobby. As someone said upthread, it's gaslighting.

First of all Tiktok, if I have you confused with someone else on the 2-5% thing then I do absolutely apologise. I think the point I made is a valid one on the broader context of support but I should not have addressed it directly to you.

Minifingerz... What a horrible post! I hope I don't get you as my breastfeeding advisor /supporter!

I'm not sure I'll be back on this thread much as I am actually having a baby at the moment... Mumsnetting from the hospital so I'm not not flouncing if I don't reply.

Good luck to everyone pregnant on this thread - I hope you all get the support you need to meet your feeding goals, trust your instincts on feeding and manage to dodge any judgement.

I hoping that this time around if I need it, I get the support of someone who is not just focused on supporting the act of breastfeeding but is predominantly focused on supporting the mother trying to breastfeed. Then it might have a more positive experience regardless of how feeding all the turns out.

Indeed. On a thread where people talk about their struggles, issues and lack of support, someone has to pile in telling them they gave up too easily because they didn't really want to do it in the first place, and the support was there if they wanted it. What a nasty thing to post.

Wow, good luck Luna! Come back and cheer me up with a squishy newborn pic when you can. Hope all goes smoothly for you

Good luck Luna!

Prosecco, you were clear, don't worry! You wanted mothers to be told about the effect of BF on their risks of breast cancer. Problem was you were cross that they were not told they had to BF exclusively for a year to reduce their risk and that is incorrect.

I am in favour of people getting as much info as they want, in accessible forms. It would be fine to say, for example, something like 'breastfed babies on average get X fewer infections in their first year' and to grade the evidence for this. The problem would be to ensure good understanding - we are not educated in the UK in critical thinking, or understanding risk. Numbers and stats are not easily grasped.

But if it could be done, and people understood and felt better informed, and not annoyed that they were having stats shoved at them, then bring it on!