Cocaine use whilst breastfeeding

[twistypie]

I'm in a major panic. My son (22 months) has been exclusively breastfed from birth, and then from 6 months obviously solid food as well. I love our feeding relationship, even though I am still up several times every single night with him because he loves the boob.
He's never been an easy boy, and last night was my first ever night out since he was born - he stayed with Nanny and Grandad.
I went a bit crazy at all the freedom and ended up having a few lines of coke. The boy is due home in an hour and now I'm panicking. The first thing he'll want is boob but I can't give it to him as I know it's unsafe. I'll have to pump and dump for a while I guess, but the question is, how long for?
I feel like the worst mum ever, as I'll have to deny him the thing that gives him most comfort. Can't believe I was so stupid and selfish.

That's just grim TBH I never understand why parents feel the need to have drugs then caring for their DC in a come down state. Absolutely lost for words TBH you should be ashamed of yourself

Why should she be ashamed of herself? I assume you're perfect? It's not like she snorted coke off the kids high chair with them in it.

Of course she should be ashamed of her poor choices. A very young child is dependant on her and she's used a dangerous drug which could harm him but more critically could harm her. She clearly knows that too.

That's not very constructive or supportive @Underthemoonlight

We've all made mistakes. Maybe yours and mine didn't involve cocaine. But we made them. I dropped my eldest from about 3ft.

Shame isn't a very useful emotion @NorthernLurker

She's already beating herself up.

Of course she should be ashamed of her poor choices. A very young child is dependant on her and she's used a dangerous drug which could harm him but more critically could harm her. She clearly knows that too.

^This not to meantion who the hell is caring for this small child when she is on a come down from drugs. I'm sure social services would flag this up. There's a different making mistake as a parent then actively doing class a drugs.

Accidentally dropping a child is very different to doing drugs though, unless the coke fell up the OP's nose. It wasn't an accident, she chose to do a class A drug. Of course it was an utterly stupid thing to do, and more than a stupid mistake.

You're very brave asking here op. We all make mistakes! It's not the end of the world. I mean, fair enough, we don't all take cocaine but you'll just get a barrage of perfect parents telling you how awful you are which is not fucking helpful and untrue! You've done the right thing getting some advice and at 2 your dc should be fine for 24h without boob, he might be upset but he can have plenty of other substitutes for now. And there's no "comedown" from coke... who's looking after dc? Would they keep him a while longer so he isn't looking for boob?

Goosey many people get a comedown from coke. m.talktofrank.com/drug/cocaine?detail=effects

Shame is a very useful emotion as it stops you doing a bloody stupid thing twice.

I'd be more worried about the comedown and cravings from the coke than the breast milk.

Was this a big part of your life before you had a baby? Is this common in your friendship group?

OP, I think you need to see the bigger picture here. The fact that you took cocaine last night is a much bigger deal than your child not being able to breastfeed for a couple of days

I doubt OP will be suffering cravings after a couple of lines of coke.

She went on a rare night out, undoubtedly got a bit carried away with the heady freedom of it all and had a couple of lines.

She's already said she feels bad, I don't think she's at the stage where we need to be thinking about interventions!

And from a medical pov I doubt there would be any risk at all from her bfing now, after a small amount of coke 12 hours or so ago.

I would be amazed if there were.

In answer to the various questions:
Prior to becoming pregnant I used coke maybe 2 or 3 times a year for about 4 years - very much an occasional thing.
My partner is going to take over for the next couple of days until it's all out of my system.
The breastfeeding network said to give it 48 hours before feeding, and in the meantime to pump and dump to get it out of my system and to keep my supply up.

Thank you hugely for all the advice and supportive comments. Us mums need each other.

And a not thank you for all the judgemental and hurtful comments. Yes, I majorly fucked up, and I hate myself for it. I am ashamed. You too should be ashamed of yourselves though for giving nothing but hatred when a fellow mother clearly in distress reached out for some advice.

Hates a strong word

I assume you aren't going to be / haven't told the people you called who you are? I think anon is the way forward on this just in case you hadn't thought of that.

Coke doesn't stay in system very long so sounds like you have had good advice and at age 2 I don't think missinga couple days will interfere with BF - presumably it's not that often and supply doesn't go that quick.

In short I think it will be fine.

And agree with others that say it'd prob be fine now - but following advice of 48hrs won't hurt.

generally I agree with ilikeyouhairyhand's posts

Don't beat yourself up about this OP. Take care

Can i add that SS (i am a SW) won’t be the slightest bit interested in someone doing a few lines of coke whilst their child is elsewhere. They have many children actually being horrifically neglected and subjected to drug/alcohol use on a day basis who need their help. OP has admitted she was stupid to do this and now regrets it. None of us are perfect parents and we all make mistakes. OP now has the advice she needs and knows what she needs to do.

Well said bluesky

Not a thread title I ever thought I would read. Christ.

OP please don't hate yourself. You know you didn't behave perfectly and you've rung the BFN so nothing to hate yourself for.

What did they say when you spoke to them? How are you all getting on now? I know how hard it can be refusing a two year old boob obsessive

Us commenting are not claiming to be perfect parents at all. Far from it. However what of earth did OP expect when posting a question like hers on here? It is not acceptable end of. Your asking for advice/ opinions etc so expect to get them. What i don't understand about alot of MN users is why they suddenly feel the need to analyse and comment /critique every other comment on the thread. Really ladies (majority)? The original query gets lost and it becomes a slanging match!

I don't judge you at all OP you sound like a great mother.