Day 4 BF - need reassurance

[SingToMeInFrench]

Hello

DS2 is 4 days old and we are finally back at home, after a traumatic 3 degree tear and obs for DS (I was on 50g sertraline during pregnancy)

I only survived 4 days BF with DS1 (undiagnosed TT) but this time round it's not painful and there's no sign of TT.

I would love to carry on BF, but DS2 is never off the boob. Ever. I cannot put him down, I cannot hand him to other people (DH managed to hold him for a couple of hours tonight- miracle).

It's just so hard and I don't think I can cope with the lack of sleep.

I know it's because he's so little. I know he's stomach is tiny. But I just need some sleep!
During our stay in hospital, the MW offered a couple of top ups of formula- but once he'd guzzled it down he was straight back on the boob!

My milk is in, my breasts feel full. I'm leaking etc.

I don't even know what I want from this post...I feel delirious. This is normal, right?

They look quite shocked don't they?

HV weighed DS2 and he'd only lost 100g since birth, which she said was good for a bf baby?

That's great. You've obviously got good milk! I'm in the same situation as you BTW- lactation failure stopped me bfing dd1. With dd2, she is 11 weeks and going strong. I'll be honest, I don't love breastfeeding. I feel a little tied to dd2 at times and I haven't got the most plentiful supply so she does get fractious if she is hungry and I'm running on empty. I find it really upsetting when she screams at my boobs. But, I introduced a bottle of expressed milk at 4 weeks so she will drink from a bottle. I was expressing every day to build up a bank of milk in the freezer and to ensure dh could give one bottle a day. Then I had a bit of a period and my supply dropped through the floor. I used my freezer milk to get her through it and a bit of formula- 3oz just before bed. My supply has steadied again but I've taken the pressure off by expressing for the freezer (so that I can have some time away occasionally) and I'm giving formula for the dream feed. It's only 2-3 oz per day but it has made me feel much better because I'm getting a bit of a break but I know most of her milk is bm. I only started the formula at 10 weeks. She was ebf before that. I'll never understand why something so natural is so hard!

I don't really have anything to add but wanted to say well done! My DS is 11weeks and I toyed with the idea of FF so much in the first few weeks I thought it would get into a routine of feeding and mean more sleep. I didn't ff and I'm so glad, we're now in more of a routine (of sorts- no constant feeds) and sleep is pretty good atm.

Have you read about the fourth trimester- it really helped me get my head around what felt like torture of sleep deprivation.

Ps.. DS gets hiccups every day and no reflux. He will sometimes bring up bits of feed at random times usually because my breasts have been full and he drinks quickly.. again no reflux.

PPS.. (last one) just re. Your anxiety. I've never felt so anxious since having DS, for me it's within normal range. As you previously experienced anxiety and gave medication it's obviously important to keep a check on where you're at, but some level of anxiety comes with being a new mum.

Write yourself a note by where you feed or his changing table 'this too shall pass'. As you've already seen things are gradually improving.

Still here...! Day 13 of BF and DS is now 7lbs 15ozs! He has put his birth weight back on and an extra 7ozs in a week!

So good to know that hiccups doesn't equal reflux...! He is quite a "sicky" baby but I'm trying not to worry about it as he's gaining weight.

Can't believe tomorrow will be 2 weeks of BFing. Thank you everyone!