9% weight loss, nipples shredded, won't wake to feed. Can't do this again.

[wineapotamus]

I had a terrible time bfeeding my son. Now it's happening again with my 5 day old daughter. I just want to stop. Why can't I manage this? Midwife is coming again to weigh her on Monday but I can hardly wake her to feed and am so exhausted I'm worried I'm going to fall asleep feeding her tonight. She was up for 6 hours last night. I feel like I'm giving in to the panic. Oh god I need her to feed every 2 hours and sleep in between tonight.

[wineapotamus]

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a bit less mental. She's had a good cluster feed before bed and slept for 4 hours then was awake and happy before another feed about an hour later so it averages out as every 2.5 hours. I'm waking her and stripping her off to get her to be awake enough to feed, but she's just had a 40 minute feed and a big poo so that's positive. Still sleepy though. tiktok we have the mw coming tomorrow to see her, do you think that's ok if she's feeding with wet and dirty nappies in the meantime?
If it's not working out though I'm not going to sacrifice my mental health for breastfeeding like last time and thank you for all the support. A good mum makes decisions that enable her child to thrive and that's what I will do. If boob, great, if not, that's ok too.

[cockermum85]

Wineapotamous how are you doing today? How was last night? Thinking of you and hope you're doing ok.

[cockermum85]

Oops, just seen your post and not sure how to delete mine on my phone... glad your feeling a little better!

[wineapotamus]

I'm panicking a bit now. She's essentially been asleep since 8am, although I'm not letting her go longer than 2-3 hours without waking her and stripping her off to feed her. Do you think it's ok? She's feeding well and pooing and weeing OK. My latch feels better I just can't get her to stay awake!

[wineapotamus]

Thanks cockermum X

[Wineandchocolatebiscuits]

Dirty nappies are a great sign she's getting enough milk.

Does she have her day and night confused?

Well done on keeping going and yes don't sacrifice your mental health. You sound sensible and know when to try and persevere and when to say you've tried enough.

Hope your mw is helpful.

[Wineandchocolatebiscuits]

Does she seem well apart from sleepy? Does she have a temp or skin colour changes?

[wineapotamus]

Thank you. Sent dh out for Milton, breast pump stuff and nipple shields. Good to have a plan. Wish she'd wake up though! It makes me dread tonight! She was awake a lot in the late afternoon evening yesterday so maybe she'll do that tonight? Aargh it's so stressful! When can I give her a ham sandwich and sit her in front of octonauts!!! X

[wineapotamus]

She has good colour and seems well. She just managed a 15 min feed then passed out again.

[wineapotamus]

She's half dressed now lying on my knee to try and encourage her to stay awake. It's not working.

[Wineandchocolatebiscuits]

I'm sure she's ok but ring your mw if unsure. It all sounds like pretty normal start of bf stuff to me. Check the colour of the nappies too - if mustard yellow then the milk is coming through well. It honestly gets easier in the next week or so with bf - if you can just tough out this first week or so you'll be flying.
Hehe - you might not be able to use tv babysitter yet but at least you don't have toddler tantrums with a newborn!

[MrsNuckyThompson]

I had this with my DS and my 3 day old DD is going the same way. It's so hard!! You just have to remember this is just a really short phase and although it's a killer it will pass.

Any chance it could be tongue tie? My DS had a posterior tie which was looked for but not found by several midwives and a registrar.

[cockermum85]

My girly loves to sleep on the boob! Keep her in her nappy and tickle those feet! I use a shield so as soon as I start to take it out her mouth she gets sucking again. Frustrating I know, I really feel for you!

[tiktok]

It's worth a call if she is still v sleepy. The urgency seems to be less as she has fed but I think speaking to someone before tomorrow is important.

[wineapotamus]

She's awake! Glory be! 2 big poos and a wee. Thank you everyone

[AyeAmarok]

Aye - that's not true. It's fine to introduce a bottle or two if the op has breastfeeding sorted but she hasn't so introducing formula at this stage, crucially without fixing the breastfeeding, will likely mean the end of the breastfeeding - definitely within a few weeks.

It is true. You're scaremongering. It's perfectly possible to give formula as a temporary measure and continue to breastfeed afterwards. I had to do it when DS was a few days old and I had to go back into hospital. Latch wasn't sorted out until a (fantastic) community midwife came out two days later.

It was Saturday night, OP is going to struggle to get proper bf support to fix the latch IRL before Monday. If her DD wouldn't breastfeed by then there could have been a serious problem.

Anyway, great news that she seems a bit better now OP, hope you get sorted. She's absolutely gorgeous!

[wineapotamus]

Mw came today. 40g increase in 2 days. Not enough, so now have to give ebm top ups or formula. Just tried pumping, got nothing so hand expressed 15ml or so but she wouldn't take it at all, just spat it out. So she's back on my wasted nipples now. How the fuck am I going to give her top ups if she won't take a bottle? We have to go back on Wednesday now. I so want her to pack on weight so we can boob away. I'm sure I could get the latch fixed and the pain more manageable, I've just got to get the weight sorted!

[cockermum85]

Did you get any shields? Are they helping? Why not try a little formula then you're not hurting your boobs any more,m. Has your milk come in yet? I'd not worry about the latch, you just need your girly to be well for now. Xxx

[AssassinatedBeauty]

I'd use formula in the bottles for now. If she spat the milk out she probably wasn't hungry, so I'd just try again later and it could be completely different. What kind of teats are you using?

[tinypop4]

I would give her formula top ups for now in your situation. Many many people so this especially if things are a bit of a struggle early on- you will then stop panicking about the weight gain and be able to concentrate on establishing breast feeding if that's what you want.

[notanothernamechangebabes]

You can use a syringe or a spoon to top up with either your BM or formula. See which one works best for you- your midwife can show you how to use them safely if you're not sure.

Also just to say- my DS was impossible for at least 2 weeks to wake for feeds. It could take an hour to wake him sometimes. And then he'd feed for 5 mins and drop back off.

He was a bit jaundiced and had a tongue tie as well.

Thankfully he (somehow) got enough milk from me, and started to be more alert after a couple of weeks.

Some babies are just sleepy. If she's seeing, pooing and eating something (bm or formula), unless your mum instincts are blaring - don't panic!

And congrats by the way. She's stunning.

[Sunshineandlaughter]

That's weird she spat it out - is she otherwise well?

[Sunshineandlaughter]

Don't want to panic you but sleepiness, poor feeding, grunting/noisy breathing and mottled skin where the signs of serious illness in my lo. If she's completely fine and just doesn't like your milk in bottles then please just ignore me and my anxiety!

[Sunshineandlaughter]

If she's feeding formula well then obs she isn't sick!
My lo had late onset sepsis btw

[hellooooooomama]

Have you got lansinoh for the pain?