Not sure if 1 day old latching on/actually feeding

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This is my 3rd child (eldest is at school full time and middle one at preschool 3 days per week).

Number 3 born Saturday morning and I have no idea if she's actually getting what she needs from me. I ended up formula feeding her brother and sister as I found trying to bf too stressful. But really want to give it a real shot this time.

The thing is, I just can't transfer everything I read online yo myself. If that makes sense. Every midwife etc says something different about technique.

Since birth (very early hours of Saturday) she's probably had 6 or 7 feeds. None longer than 30 minutes. Some as short as 5 minutes (she soothes on the breast and then falls asleep). Last night she slept from around 9.30 pm until 6 am. Tried feeding her at 2 am but she just wasn't interested at all.

She's had one wet nappy but plenty of mec poos.

I'm just really worried about her not getting what she needs and then getting ill.

Spending a day just in bed/on the sofa trying to find the technique for us isn't an option due to the two.older children and a very annoying cat.

Does the amount of feeds sound right? Like I said, every midwife says something different so I have no idea.

There are no feeding cafes/sessions in my locality - local children's centre nearby but doesn't offer bf support that I know of. All other sessions are on ghr other side of town.

Not really sure what this post is trying to achieve, just wanted to get things off my chest.

She should be feeding more than that and therefore having more wet nappies....
Has midwife visited since birth?
Any signs of jaundice? Would be worth ringing the post natal ward and explaining what you have here.

9.30pl till 6am is way too long between feeds. Just from a supply stimulating POV as well as a feeding POV. I'd not leave it longer than 3 hrs between feeds. If she's too sleepy, change her nappy, undress her a bit, tickle her, anything to keep her awake.

One wet nappy is a worry too. I agree with ringing the midwives and talking them through it as you've done here.

I'm by no means an expert but currently bf ds2 who is 4 weeks old. I woke him evey 2 hours for the first few days as he was very sleepy and had jaundice that I was trying to clear. Do anything you can to wake her and latch her on, even if it's only for a few minutes (this will help get your supply up). I think I read somewhere that 8-12 feeds a day is the goal.

Yes, midwife came today and didn't seem concerned. Which is why I'm puzzled.

One MW at hospital said 3 feeds in first 24 hrs is ok. Another said 6. If I had BF the other two, I'd have more confidence or know if I wasn't doing it right. As it is, I feel a bit on my own and if I do ask advice from professionals it's never consistent.

No signs of jaundice - nice and pink. She's had another wet nappy and spewed up colostrum so she is getting something but no idea if it's enough.

Got her GP check tomorrow so will ask them tomorrow. Midwife not visiting now until Friday. Will def try and stimulate her to feed tonight though.

Agree with pp who said do not let baby go more than 3 hours day or night without a breast feed in the very early days, even if that means setting an alarm and waking them to feed. Ideally it should be even more frequent during the day.

I would be concerned about lack of wet nappies as very young babies can quickly dehydrate/low blood sugar and become more sleepy, and more difficult to get to feed and it's a fast escalating cycle. I would highly recommend speaking to your HV or the midwife unit asap

Sorry cross posted with your update. Wet nappy and posseting is a relief to hear . It is not uncommon to have to wake new babies to remind them to feed. Let them feed as often and for as long as they like, but keep an eye on the time and don't let them go beyond 3 hours without a feed. This will really help your milk supply too

The 3hrs is from the start of one feed to the start of the next, so it includes the length of the feed iyswim.

Thanks

I'd completely forgotten how I find these first few days really stressful in terms of feeding.

She's had a few short feeds this afternoon, but no more than 15 minutes a time.

I'm trying not to get stressed but finding it really hard to. I ended up bottle feeding the other two as I just couldn't cope with the pressure I was putting on myself and felt a failure. I have a history of mental health issues and need to prioritise my sanity, but I also don't want to give up at the first hurdle this time round.

She'll be my last baby so want to enjoy it as much as I can.

Sorry, another ramble of a post.

Strip her down to her nappy and take your top off and do some skin to skin,that may encourage her. Drape a blanket around your shoulders so you don't get too cold! Have a nice bath together, that might help too

Just keep offering, she'll get there

Congratulations

15 minutes is fine for a feed duration, don't worry about that.

Can your DP/DH do as much as possible with your other children and around the house so that you can feed and rest as much as is practical?

Congratulations OP!
It sounds like you are doing really well. Your milk won't have come in properly yet but agree with others that you should try and feed every 2-3 hours.

If you have got your baby to latch on then you have achieved the hardest bit.

My DD was the same in the first few days and refused to feed. She went about 7 hours without a feed when she was very new (not for lack of trying on my part) but we got there in the end. Keep going

I found www.kellymom.com invaluable for information on breastfeeding.

I second the skin to skin contact. Also ensure you're drinking enough. And congratulations on your new baby

My husband is being great, doing school run etc, so no worries on that part!

It's reassuring that your daughter was similar daimbar. I remember now that my daughter was similar and we had to splash water on her feet to wake her up mid-feed.

This one has just had a few sucks and is now out for the count again.

Some babies are really efficient feeders so try not to worry about the length of the feed. The wet nappies and the time between feeds (not letting longer than 2-3 hours) are by far the more important factors

I can remember worrying so much when DD2 never fed for more than 5 mins (occasionally 10) at a time, even from the very early days. I was so worried she couldn't possibly be getting enough despite the fact that she was piling on the weight and having loads of wet and dirty nappies . I don't think the HV ever really believed me when I said feeds only lasted 5 mins, but it's true and with the benefit of hindsight and further experience it seems DD2 was just a super efficient feeder!

That's reassuring, thanks GuinefortGrey. I just assumed babies have to bf for 30ins or so to get enough.

Still a bit worried about wet nappies (ie only two in 36 hours) but hopefully if I can get her to stay awake I can get more feeds in.

About the wet nappies- I remember a midwife's comments about trying to tell if a newborn's nappies had wee in them. Essentially, hold a used one in one hand and a dry one in the other, drop them both on a table and listen to the noise

Useful tip!

A well latched on baby can easily feed in 15 mins so don't worry about that. It's the signs that you should be looking for that's important not the duration so much. And remember, a newborn's tum is ever ever so tiny.

When they've latched on well and the letdown occurs, the small rapid sucks suddenly change (and you'd probably notice this just after/coinciding with when you feel the let down occur, if that's something you feel). You know the jaw bone where it hinges kinda of under the ear? You'll see the movement suddenly becoming representative of large gulps ('milk transport' this is called) which look quite different to the little sucks which serve to get things going.

I agree with the waking them up (talk about they don't know they're born!!!). Stripping off and then trying a feed when they're well awake (although the clever little blighters can do it whilst asleep but to get into a routine I do think it's not a bad idea to do this initially so you're not worrying about fluid intake etc).

Is she swallowing/gulping? You can watch her ear as she's on to see if it's moving.

Oh yes don't worry about length of feed. If she becomes unsettled or sleepy or seems to want to come off, try winding and offering the other side (unless you're trying to get her to sleep anyway!) - if she wants it, great (and you can repeat back to the first side if she still wants more), if she doesn't, that's fine. Always watch your baby, not the clock.

I agree at this age offer at least every 2-3 hours.

As she's only three days old your milk might not have come in yet which means she'll be getting colostrum which is produced in teeny tiny amounts, about as much as a teaspoonful. So it's OK that she's not having many wet nappies or if they're not very heavy because she isn't taking a lot of liquid yet. But do look up signs of newborn dehydration and keep an eye if you're worried about it, that's the biggest danger, and it doesn't hurt to be aware.

If you're comfortable with it have you thought about co-sleeping? That gives her access to the breast all night and means that she doesn't really have to wake up to feed. You would probably get much less sleep though of course.

Has she been checked for tongue tie?

So, waking her up didn't work - she either completely rejected the breast or had a cursory suck and fell back asleep. then woke up as soon as removed. Repeat as infinitum.

She fed on and off between 9 and 12. Then nothing after, not for want of trying. She had about 5 minutes on one side about 7 am but now gone back to sleep.

Milk has come in so I can see myself getting pretty uncomfortable.

On the verge of giving a bottle to see if we have any more luck with that.

Don't panic. Wet nappies during the night? She has fed at 7, so try again around 10 if she doesn't wake and ask before then. Just keep an eye on those nappies and next weigh in will tell you if she is getting enough but until then just focus on one feed at a time. Milk coming in coinciding with baby blues is a really, really tough time but you can do it!

A dirty nappy and I think it was a bit wet. Thank you for the support. Doesn't help that the older two were clambering all over demanding baby cuddles.

Will leave her be now and try again in a couple of hours.

Friday is a heck of a long time before the next midwife visit. I saw a very offhand one on day 2, she called me on day 3 then I got a different midwife visiting on day 4 who was furious that the offhand midwife hadn't been to see me on day 3 as it's notorious for being when women struggle most. I'd ended up expressing and giving colostrum on a teaspoon as it hurt so much for DS to latch. New midwife latched him on for me and showed that when he was on right it didn't hurt after the let down so at least I knew how it should feel.
Can you call you midwife team and ask someone to come out sooner? Surely if you mention you are worried about feeding they will do that? We were also told we could go back to the hospital in the first few days if we needed to.
Finally you can call la leche league helpline if you really can't get someone to visit in person.

I didn't feed DS enough in the first day as he was so sleepy, but then fed him every 3hrs one my midwifes advice. Had a undress him and change his nappy before every feed, and initially could best get him to latch on in rugby ball hold.

On day four I went crying to a midwife drop in centre, worried that he wasn't feeding enough. They took one look at him, reassured me he was fine and sent me home. On his one week weigh in, he had maintained his birth weight.

After two weeks of setting my alarm to feed every 3hrs (more if he wanted feeding more often) my midwife told me to chill out and drop the alarms, and he's been fine since.

I think the hardest thing about breastfeeding is not knowing exactly how much they're getting. It is scary, but as long as baby is weeing lots, that's my marker that everything is ok. Fwiw, I really struggled with breastfeeding initially and really do appreciate how hard/painful it is and why people would choose formula instead, but set myself little targets (1week, 2weeks,1month,6weeks) and once I got to 6 weeks I honestly think formula would now be more effort.

Good luck with the baby.