Not sure if 1 day old latching on/actually feeding

[economymode]

This is my 3rd child (eldest is at school full time and middle one at preschool 3 days per week).

Number 3 born Saturday morning and I have no idea if she's actually getting what she needs from me. I ended up formula feeding her brother and sister as I found trying to bf too stressful. But really want to give it a real shot this time.

The thing is, I just can't transfer everything I read online yo myself. If that makes sense. Every midwife etc says something different about technique.

Since birth (very early hours of Saturday) she's probably had 6 or 7 feeds. None longer than 30 minutes. Some as short as 5 minutes (she soothes on the breast and then falls asleep). Last night she slept from around 9.30 pm until 6 am. Tried feeding her at 2 am but she just wasn't interested at all.

She's had one wet nappy but plenty of mec poos.

I'm just really worried about her not getting what she needs and then getting ill.

Spending a day just in bed/on the sofa trying to find the technique for us isn't an option due to the two.older children and a very annoying cat.

Does the amount of feeds sound right? Like I said, every midwife says something different so I have no idea.

There are no feeding cafes/sessions in my locality - local children's centre nearby but doesn't offer bf support that I know of. All other sessions are on ghr other side of town.

Not really sure what this post is trying to achieve, just wanted to get things off my chest.

[SpecialStains]

Also, my midwives were great and they and breastfeeding support workers came round daily until I said I was happy with breastfeeding. Can you ask for someone from breastfeeding support to come round? I really wish everyone could have had the care I did. I would have given up otherwise.

[economymode]

DrWhy yes, I can call them if I need. I'm going to see how we go today and will call them later if necessary.

SpecialStains that is exactly how I feel. Having bottle fed the other two, I find it really hard not knowing how much she has(or hasnt) had. She's got initial checks at GP in a couple of hours so will see if he thinks she looks ok. I just don't get why even after stripping her down and waking her up she isn't bothered.

[LemonScentedStickyBat]

I think it would be really useful to get someone to look at the latch - if you call the NCT or LLL helplines they can often find a qualified person near you to visit you at home.

Also, remember that just because you can see how much a baby takes from a bottle, that it doesn't mean you know for sure it's the right amount for that baby. Nappy output is much more important to monitor.

[SpecialStains]

Economy how are you feeling this morning? Just as a warning that you'll be getting towards the hormonal few days! It's so frustrating when you're trying to feed them, but all they want to do is sleep!

I ended up (unnecessarily) expressing a few bottles of colostrum/milk in the first few days to give to my DS, I was so obsessed with wanting to know how much he was getting. He did only feed for about 15minutes at a time (but I'd always offer the other breast when he came off).

The best advice my lovely midwife gave me was that you have to train the baby to feed, as they've never done this before. She literally grabbed my baby and boob and showed me you need to be quite forceful in holding the baby's head to your breast. I found it easier once I'd got my head around the fact that both me and the baby were learning how to do it.

It does get easier. I actually like feeding him now. DS is 3months this week, and the first fortnight of breastfeeding is (almost) forgotten about!

Sounds very cute that your elder two are excited by the little baby!

[economymode]

Hello, I'm feeling ok, I think SpecialStains. Last night was not fun and I'm still not convinced she's getting what she needs.

But if she is bringing up colostrum, she must be getting some down her, surely?

She's had a few feeds today, but I never really feel she's getting what she's after. But then she'll fall asleep and it's game over.

I've found a local BabyCafe on tomorrow that I'm planning to go to for feeding advice.

I think I'm going to give it a week in the first instance. I'm starting to dread feeding but I know people say it gets easier and they end up enjoying it, so going to stick it out a while longer.

Nappies are damp but not soaking. One dirty nappy this morning after the overnight session.

Inlaws coming to visit on Thursday and the last thing I want is to be stressing about feeding her while they (fairly enough) want cuddles. It's a 90 minute car journey for them, so they can't just pop by whenever.

Kind of just want to hibernate. I know people say this is the most natural thing in the world, but if so, why doesn't it come naturally?!

My husband is being really great and said I'm coping much better than with the other two and their similar issues. But I can feel things starting to unravel...

Anyway, I can hear an unsettled baby!

[SpecialStains]

I kept on saying the exact same thing! If it's so natural, why isn't it easy?! It hurt me like hell and was difficult getting him latched on.

The amount of colostrum they need is tiny, so your baby is probably getting enough, but as you are an experienced Mum of 3, I'd be inclined to believe you if you think baby isn't getting enough. The baby cafe sounds good. Are there any midwife drop in clinics near you where you could see a different midwife?

[economymode]

There is a midwife drop in at our local children's centre on Thursday. But that's when in-laws have said they're coming. There's another session in another venue on Friday too, so will try and get along there. Feeling a bit more positive, just don't want to.end up with a poorly baby.

[SpecialStains]

It all sounds good, and glad you are feeling positive! I hope the baby cafe is useful for you.

Other than feeding is everything good with the new baby? Are you recovering well from labour/c-section?

I hope your PiLs are well behaved guests! Could you suggest after they've cuddled the baby, that they take the older two out for an hour or so? Would give you chance to sit in bed with your top off for a bit!

[economymode]

In laws are very nice but tend to need to be occupied! They'll stick around to see the older two after school - might suggest they join my husband on the school run!

Physically I feel ok, thanks. It was a quick delivery but don't feel as bad as I remember last time being. I'm not one for sitting on the sofa for hours, so find the recovery period quite hard. The temptation is just to get out and walk!

[ispymincepie]

Has the meconium changed into yellow poo yet? That's a sure sign she's getting milk through. My ds3 was like this and even having bf 3 babies before I didn't realise he wasn't transferring milk effectively and he did indeed end up very poorly on day 10. Don't want to alarm you but please be vigilant, babies go downhill so quickly and can be easy to miss the signs.

[economymode]

Still meconium poos.

Went to bf session today and they think she may have tobgue tie - they watched her try to latch on for a good 40 minutes, trying various techniques.

We gave her a bottle of formula last nighy as I was at my wit's end - she wouldn't settle, wouldn't even try to take the breast and was screaming so much she was starting to wake the other two up.

At the moment we're keeping on trying with the breast but am also expressing and giving formula. I'd rather she get some nutrition and if she can't get it directly from me, that's the way it is.

I can't face expressing 8 times per day. In fact, with the other two around, it just isn't possible.

I'm going to another session tomorrow, where there will be someone who can confirm tongue tie (lady today thought she felt one but didn't want to say for sure).

Trying to keep up my supply, but not sure how long it will last...

[SpecialStains]

If it is a tongue tie you need to ask your HV to refer you. Getting my DS's tie cut at 2weeks almost instantly improved breastfeeding for me. It hurt less and he was a more efficient feeder.

It's crazy how hard it is to get breastfeeding going sometimes. Everyone always says about how natural and wonderful is, but I found establishing feeding a painful and horrible time. Glad you got her to take a bottle last night.

Good luck with the in laws tomorrow.

[economymode]

NHS waiting times are 5-6 weeks for tongue tie 'removal' round here. So if it is that, then we'll do it privately.

Feeling happier knowing she is getting some breasty goodness, even if it is from s bottle. And having expressed a few times, my 0boobs thank me. I clearly wasn't getting anywhere near whst she needed in her.

No idea how long my supply will last if I can't manage to get her on the breast properly in the next week or so. I can't express as much as I probably should, but it's better than nothing.

[ispymincepie]

I'm the most pro-breastfeeding person I know and I think you've done the right thing giving formula in this instance, if she's still only passing meconium it's likely she's not getting enough milk in. Hopefully now things will get moving and if you can get tongue tie sorted it's not too late to get on track with the breastfeeding. Just keep offering and pumping at every opportunity x

[SpecialStains]

What breast pump are you using? I hate my stupid tommy Tippee hand pump, but my NCT friends all rave about their Mendela Automatic ones. I think that can make a lot of difference.

[BertieBotts]

Just do as much as you can, get her to the breast as often as you can. Don't worry about doing everything perfectly. With tongue tie sometimes the hamburger thing can help - that's when you take two hands and squash the breast to make it easier to latch onto. And laid back feeding position can also help (Google biological nurturing)

It can be bloody hard in the beginning so just do what you can.

[economymode]

Thanks everyone. Tried laid back and hamburger techniques at the drop in session earlier. No luck. I'm keeping on offering as much as I can but time is limited with having to express as well.

I'm using a manual avent at the mo but hopefully borrowing a double medela tomorrow. Happy times!

[economymode]

Just offered her the breast as she was rooting around. All she's done is bloody fall asleep on it!

[LapinR0se]

Listen, you've got 2 kids already, and a cat. You've got the colostrum goodness into her. Please do whatever keeps you sane at this point

[economymode]

And tomorrow I have to magic up a spotty children in need t shirt for my son at school for Friday. Does anyone have an extra 24 hours they can add to the day?! And somehow pump x amount of times, offer up the bresst and bottle feed. Obviously my husband can do some feeds but he's also doing the school run, which wipes out a good couple of hours.

[economymode]

You're right lapin (I'd rather have a rabbit than a sulking cat at the moment). I'm realising i need to prioritise everything. Just so frustrated as I really was hoping to get it down to a fine art this time but feel like I've been thwarted.

[LapinR0se]

That's crazy. Do whatever is easiest, seriously. If that means breast & formula, fine. If that means pumping and bottle, fine. But pumping, and breast, and bottle sounds absolutely exhausting

[LapinR0se]

Sorry we x-posted. I meant the tshirt was crazy on top of everything else!
I know the thwarted feeling but all that actually matters is that your baby is healthy and that you have energy to take care of her plus your other kids (& cat!)

[BertieBotts]

Yes, prioritise. When I said do what you can, I mean in the boundaries of staying sane! Don't worry too much. Even if supply drops it might be possible to build it up again later. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[orangebird69]

Just a tip, it may help or not - gently but firmly rub the soles of her feet when you're trying to feed her. It's supposed to stimulate the sucking reflex. I had to bf my ds every 3 hours for the first couple of weeks as he had jaundice. He would only feed a few mins at a time and it really helped us. X