Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Do You Feel Embarrassed Buying Formula?

86 replies

Quootiepie · 10/02/2007 17:48

I was just wondering really. Since stopping BFing and going to formula, I find myself being embarrassed buying it . I sort of look left and right before I grab it off the shelf, and will the conveyor belt to move faster when I am buying it! I feel so stupid feeling like this, because I know the reasons behind it, but stupid as it sounds I worry sometimes people are looking down on me, especially being young.

Am I the only one? It is quite pathetic, I know but was curious. xXx

OP posts:
mistypeaks · 10/02/2007 17:51

don't feel embarrassed. At least it's not vodka!!! I ff both daughters felt bad about it for ages, but now I don't give a fig!! If you tried to do everything you're supposed to do (who makes all these rules anyway) you'd end up in a mental home and then who'd look after your LO?

LadyTophamHatt · 10/02/2007 17:52

no, you're not tne only one.

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 17:54

I remember feeling a bit like that when I gave up bf my ms...he bf'ed for 10 month and had taken to bite me everything, finding it hilariously funny (him...not me, lol)....and at first I really didn't like buying it...luckily I got soon over that.
I assume you are beating yourself up over not bf/stopping to bf, or some such thing? I don't think it's pathetic, but it is sad that you would feel that way.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 10/02/2007 17:54

I can't quite believe how much things have changed Quootie. I never felt embarrassed buying formula, breastfeeders were in the minority TBH. Or maybe I was thick skinned, or just thick .

Sorry you feel embarrassed. I'm glad that more and more women are breastfeeding but you shouldn't feel bad.

Budababe · 10/02/2007 17:55

I didn't breast feed DS - did try but he went hysterical each time so ended up on formula. Yes - I did feel guilty. I know I could have/should have tried harder. I know I should have expressed. But I didn't.

Never felt guilty about buying formula though - possibly because where I am from the majority would bottle feed I think.

Carmenere · 10/02/2007 17:55

Oh Quootiepie don't be silly! And you LTH, we all do our best for our babies and it matters not what others think.

Skribble · 10/02/2007 18:08

Only when I was getting it cheap from the clinic, you didn't get to go into the clinic you had to go to a hatch outside around the back under a manky stairwell in the carpark .

But buying it under normal circumstances NO!, DS was a perfect at breastfeeding DD wasn't she neve latched on right so I switched to bottles.

So behave yourself woman . Its OK.

matildax · 10/02/2007 18:11

hi there, i hadnt really given it a second thought until yesterday when i bought some, and some woman was looking in my basket!!! i think its ridiculous really, some women cant breastfeed or like myself i just didnt feel right with it, perhaps i should feel guilty, however i think a happy mum makes for a happy baby. if i had breastfed i would have been doing it for all the wrong reasons, people will always look at others and pass judgement, quite sad really, but thats human nature. enjoy your baby. x x

Hillary · 10/02/2007 18:13

Don't feel embarrased quootiepie you don't have to answer or state your reasons to anyone, its whats best for you and your baby that matters nobody else!

I tried breastfeeding with both my DD's but I hated it, when my dd2 was born she was sick and the hospital demanded BM, they put me under so much preassure to produce it that my milk dried up, they even tried giving me pills to produce more! At the end of the day your dc wont be any worse off with ff, if it creates a happy medium then hold your head high & do it.

hercules1 · 10/02/2007 18:20

I bought those packets of forumla to supplement dd when I went back to work. I wasnt embarrassed just very confused as to which one to buy.

hercules1 · 10/02/2007 18:23

That's awful Hillary. I hope you complained in writing afterwards. SOunds like the last thing you needed with an already poorly baby. I do feel that health professionals get away with far too much as women are at their most vulnerable after giving birth.

NadineBaggott · 10/02/2007 18:24

Embarrassed to buy food for your baby?

I've heard it all now

Hillary · 10/02/2007 18:30

Yes health professionals do take the biscuit! they even phoned me up when I got home (which wasn't often) asking me to bring in more, when I did they said oh is that it! (blood out of a stone comes to mind)

Ok bf is good, if you can then great but theres nothing wrong with ff at all & mums shouldn't be looked down on for choosing it - most mums try bfeeding but cant, its nobodys fault just brilliant that formula exists cos I don't know where I'd be without it

Original poster
Quootiepie · 10/02/2007 18:31

I know i'm being silly, but you can't help feeling the hard stares! I almost feel the need to say outloud "oh, but I breastfed for 9 and a half months... I didn't want to give up..." Luckily DH usually gets it on the way home from work It's such a silly silly thing, I wouldn't have given it much of a thought before I became a mum, but now every second of the day I strive to be as good a mum as I can be and always pick up the formula with an imnmense sense of failure. Obviously I know in so many cases the benefits outweight any negatives, and I do know I had to make the best choice for DS but...

OP posts:
lulumama · 10/02/2007 18:31

have to agree with nadine

i think that feelings of guilt, shame and sadness are felt when buying formula if there have been issues with breastfeeding..whether it is not being comfortable with stopping, or mixed feeding, or feeding for less time than you wanted...

if you are ok with formula feeding, there is no sadness, guilt or shame, IMO...

...at the end of the day, most people in the supermarket are far too busy to bother looking in your trolley and making an opinion about you

lulumama · 10/02/2007 18:32

quootie..anything you are feeling that is negative is most likely because you stopped feeding before you wanted to...honestly, no-one is looking, and if they are , so what?

Blondilocks · 10/02/2007 18:33

It never bothered me, but I don't really care what people think of my shopping - who cares if they think I'm bad cos I had 2 bottles of spirits or 2 bottles of champagne & not much else on the conveyor?!

To be honest most people probably aren't taking that much notice - probably more worried about hiding the massive bar of chocolate or ready meals from you & if anyone said anything tell them to mind their own business or ignore them.

fizzbuzz · 10/02/2007 18:33

I ff feed, and don't feel guilty about buying formula ever. My choice, my baby.

hercules1 · 10/02/2007 18:35

I disagree about most women not being able to breastfeed and it being nobodies fault but this isnt the place to pursue that

Honestly, noone is interested in what you put in your basket. Supermarkets are horrible impersonal places, people want to shop and get out.

TenaLady · 10/02/2007 18:36

Truth be known there are more bottlefeeders out there than breast feeders. Tbh folk dont give it a thought.

One thing I do think mums notice is other mums buying nappies for kids that (everyone) thinks should of been potty trained by now! Watch out for that one.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 10/02/2007 18:36

Yes, I guess so. I guess I am paranoid about being a mum, and people thinking I am a bad mum I guess no one even notices what is in my trolley

lots of guesses there!

OP posts:
hercules1 · 10/02/2007 18:37

Formula feeding does not make you a bad mum, really it doesnt.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 10/02/2007 18:38

Great, so when I am dragging a 6 years old DS round Tesco finding plus size nappies then I should worry

OP posts:
TenaLady · 10/02/2007 18:39

oh no,no,no, When you are dragging 2.5 year olds around buying nappies

TenaLady · 10/02/2007 18:39

No pressure