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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Do You Feel Embarrassed Buying Formula?

86 replies

Quootiepie · 10/02/2007 17:48

I was just wondering really. Since stopping BFing and going to formula, I find myself being embarrassed buying it . I sort of look left and right before I grab it off the shelf, and will the conveyor belt to move faster when I am buying it! I feel so stupid feeling like this, because I know the reasons behind it, but stupid as it sounds I worry sometimes people are looking down on me, especially being young.

Am I the only one? It is quite pathetic, I know but was curious. xXx

OP posts:
2shoescoveredinhearts · 10/02/2007 18:59

i never felt embaresed buying formular. was a while back but was more concerned about feeding the dc's than anything else.
Oh and as for nappies thenk god that health authority delivers them for dd would hate to be judged for having an untrained 11 yr old.

tribpot · 10/02/2007 19:08

I've felt guilty about failing to bf frequently, but I've never felt embarrassed in the supermarket. Never occurred to me to do so!

determination · 10/02/2007 19:42

i too felt like that when i bought Formula.. i gave topups between weeks 3 - 15 then never gave it again... It is silly really isn't it? Just shows was pressure is on you in Society nowadays to BF

Surfermum · 10/02/2007 19:45

I didn't feel embarrassed buying formula, but then I didn't feel guilty when I switched to it. If a stranger in a supermarket judges me for it that says far more about them than me.

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:02

lol Tenalady..funny you should mention the nappy thing....getting your Kid out of nappies is almost as much of a competition as getting your baby sleep thorugh the night...hohum...definately failed with my 4 year old in that respect...he is still in nihgt napies and that does seem to shock people He bloody got the same dodgy digestive system that I had as a Kid...so, definately my fault, lol...

Stiller · 10/02/2007 20:05

It would never have occured to me that anyone would notice. I certainly don't notice what other people are buying when I'm shopping.

3andmore - my DS is aged 5 and still in nappies - and I don't care whether other people think it's strange or not. He'll stop wearing them when he's ready to.

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:08

Stiller,someone after my own heart...saying that, there are those days I wish he was sorted with his poos, i.e. do all of them in the toilet...I don't see the point tring to get him out of nappies in the night until he is fully trained both ways in the day, if that makes sense....
Thing is, weirdly enough, I think elimination communication , where peopel don't use nappies sounds fab, but I don't think I personally could cope wiht it
Sorry, for hogging the thread with pottyissues....

Whoooosh · 10/02/2007 20:08

Quootie-I felt the same way (although wish I was young.

My Mum died a month before dd was born and I produced zero milk-I tried and tried but the poor mite was starving so formula it was.
I preferred my dd to be fed and content than persevere-yes I felt guilty and have felt 'judged' by lots of people.
However-dd is happy,healthy and for that I am eternally grateful so sod those judgemental barstewards!

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:09

oh, and 3andmore...no thank you, by the way...lol

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:11

can I also add though, that a breastfeeding may look at your basket, not because they judge you, but because they wonder what possibly went wrong, and wish the support for breastfeeding wasn't just based on mainly hollering empty slogans by the HP's but true help.
So, in effect they are not judging the mother but the lack of support so many experience....just a thought!

LaDiDaDi · 10/02/2007 20:14

I used to but now I couldn't care less. I know my personal circumstances and no one else in the shop does. I don't judge others for buying formula so I don't anticipate that others judge me.

Stiller · 10/02/2007 20:17

Whoops

My DS has mild autism so potty training was kind of regimental - very late, but precise .

I thought about taking the night time nappies away from him a few weeks ago but have decided that he'll be dry at night when he's ready to be. As soon as he's up in the morning he takes his nappy off because he can't bear the wetness and if he's awake in bed he'll get up to use the toilet. I think we just need to wait a bit longer for that hormone to kick in where they don't need to wee during the night. I can't face being woken up every night and having to change sheets

SmileysPeople · 10/02/2007 20:22

Quootie I reckon it's from being on MN too much that instills this paranoia.

I ff both my DS (tried and failed bf). It never occured to me to be ashamed buying it or that anyone was looking.

I think I might feel self conscious now though, since being exposed to some negative views on MN.(They might be there in the supermarket feeling 'sad', how scary).

In RL most people are just getting on with their own lives , and don't have strong views on baby feeding, or ever even think about it.

SmileysPeople · 10/02/2007 20:24

Oh and BTW, very relieved to hear about all those 4and 5year olds in nappies.

Helps me chill about my toilet resistant 3yr old.

pointydog · 10/02/2007 20:24

I never ever felt embarrassed buying formula

but I wasn't a mnetter then

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:25

Stiller my son isn't sn, but I share your sentiments, lol....they are ready when they are....had a friend that pt'ed her son early and worked well, but took nightitme nappies away not because of readiness, but finances, and her son wet the bed for a long time, and still has more accidents than my almost 11 year old, who does have the very odd accidnet....like once a year maximum...and my es was out of nappies in the day at 3 and out of nappies at night before he was 4...but he did have regular poos....so, it was easier to train him once ready!

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:27

Oh, smiley, I hope it isn't the kind of mnetter as I am....I wasn't implying being sad for the Baby or whatever, just implying that I wish that bf support would be better, honest....

Stiller · 10/02/2007 20:32

You know I feel completely odd talking about toilet training because training DS seems to be completely different to everyone else's experiences. He has NEVER had a poo accident apart from when he's been unwell. He's convinced that you're not allowed to poo at school because the teacher asks if they'd like to do a wee before assembly - he's such a pedant . Unfortunately I've had the poo non-accidents to deal with - but that's probably best left unshared .

I'm sure he'll get there 3andNOmore. I've given up worrying about DS's development now. He does things when he's ready and no amount of encouragement will get him there any quicker. I doubt it's that much different for NT children. I'd be gutted if I had to give up night-time nappies for financial reasons - I'd sell my jewellery first!

SmileysPeople · 10/02/2007 20:36

Don't worry 3and nomore, definetly not a reference to you and your post.

BlueMonkey · 10/02/2007 20:36

No I have never felt embarrassed when I switched to buying formula milk. My DS is 23m and I still buy it, no embarassment at all.

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:36

awww....not the same thing, by my ys is a bit of a obcessive creature, although, I am sure it's just normal and a phase, only that my other 2 never went through it, so, I think he will grow up a bit of a pedant....got to love them, eh...but that sort of behaviour can make life difficult, that is for sure.
Like I said, I agree, they are ready when they are...and yup, definately sell anyhting rather then taking any of them out of nappies for financial reasons....

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:37

lol smiley, can't help it but to feel paranoid at times [loking over the shoulder emoticon]

SmileysPeople · 10/02/2007 20:37

Oh and mine sounds similar to yours I think.

Dry in the day for wees. Will only poo in a nappy. Has a nappy at night and saves poo for that. Grrr.

Ceebee74 · 10/02/2007 20:42

Have to agree that I think MN might have had a factor in your guilt - until I came on MN, I didn't realise people felt so strongly about bf vs ff.

I ff DS from 2 days old as I wasn't producing any milk and he wouldn't latch on either - never felt guilty and certainly have never felt guilty in the supermarket! Better DS ate than starved IMO.

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:42

Must say, ds is now on Movicol, and it has helped loads, and we now have come to a point where he will not only use a potty a lot of the times, but will also put a decent sized one in there, lol!