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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Do You Feel Embarrassed Buying Formula?

86 replies

Quootiepie · 10/02/2007 17:48

I was just wondering really. Since stopping BFing and going to formula, I find myself being embarrassed buying it . I sort of look left and right before I grab it off the shelf, and will the conveyor belt to move faster when I am buying it! I feel so stupid feeling like this, because I know the reasons behind it, but stupid as it sounds I worry sometimes people are looking down on me, especially being young.

Am I the only one? It is quite pathetic, I know but was curious. xXx

OP posts:
BassMama · 10/02/2007 20:42

Hey Quootie,

Inever felt embarrassed buying formula, i used SMA gold and then after a while switched to Hipp Organic (went through a bit of a mental organic phase) and i actually felt proud of my shopping basket as it was all organic (literally all, told you it was a mental phase).

All was well until one day, me and XP were in Tesco in Ireland just after getting off the plane to stay with his parents for a few days. We stopped in at the shop to buy nappies and formula for the duration of our stay. Obviously we didn't take steriliser with us over there, so par for the course we would buy a crate load of the wee SMA gold cartons, one per feed, perfect. No worries for the whole trip.

The woman on the checkout said to me 'are all scottish parents this lazy at feeding their babies?'.

Does make you feel awful.

But its your baby and damn sure you are the only one that knows whats best for you and your babies! ognore the folk, and ignore the stares.

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:44

btw, I don't think it's an mumsnet thing, or even internet forum thing as such, the guild...but more that we can get more info then those willingly given to us....I mean, I had no hangups about putting es on formula until years and years later when I found out more about bf, and all the advice I WASN'T given, iykwim....knowledge is power if you have it at the right time, but it can also inflict guilt if you get it to late, iykwim.

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:47

Bassmama...that is terrible...indeed I must say, that one of the main reason for me being so into bf was that it is such a easy way to feed, i.e. convinient....I am a really lazy person, and ff'ing es from 4+ month was a hassle with all teh sterilising, etc....the mixing of formula really isn't the problem part of it....

pointydog · 10/02/2007 20:47

it can inflict guilt at any stage

2shoescoveredinhearts · 10/02/2007 20:50

Stiller9sorry for hijack
don't you get nappies from health service?

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 20:50

what I meant was, that if anyhting, it's the breastfeeders that choose the lazy option...not easy always, but lazy, iykwim...

Stiller · 10/02/2007 20:51

No, 2shoes we don't. I didn't know we could...

SmileysPeople · 10/02/2007 20:52

LOL 3andnomore. It's a bloody minefield isn't it!!!

BassMama · 10/02/2007 21:56

Oh i see what you mean 3andnomore!

yes you are right! I couldnt breastfeed, did try but after 5 days, still nothing happening so i had to move onto formula. I was a wee bit disappointed, but more bothered by the fact that it was going to be so much more hassle!!

BTW i didnt buy cartons for lazyness it was just to save me worrying as XMIL and XS/BIL all wanted to 'help' and i'd be constantly worried that the formula-water mix wasnt right, or the water was boiled more than once, or they werent shaken enough etc.. so rather than offend them by refusing help i just got the cartons and was worry free!

Plus i was lucky in that DS would drink milk cold (not fridge cold but straight from the carton kept at room temp) so we could feed him anytime, anywhere with these wee cartons and the disposable bottles!

misdee · 10/02/2007 21:59

oh god no, i never felt embarressed buying it. i did feel odd when i collected a fulls months worth at the clinic (milk tokens, on benefits by the time dd2 arrived), i always got it AFTER my shopping as i thought i;d get done for shop lifting. but the tins all had black marker on the lids, so it was moe of i felt judged for being on benefits IYSWIM.

kbaby · 10/02/2007 22:03

Yes I do and also if I have to feed him while im out. I get embarrassed just getting a bottle of FF out of my bag to give him. I guess its just my hang up of stopping bf.

Rantum · 10/02/2007 22:12

I bfed ds til he was 6 mths and then (in dire need of a full nights sleep) moved him onto formula at night.

I never felt embarrassed about buying it because it is not like I was bottle-feeding him coke (or beer - although that might have helped with the sleep issue as well!)

He now a tall, healthy, good eater and does not seem to have suffered any adverse affects from my SHOCKING decision to feed him some formula.

We mothers really take ourselves WAY to seriously sometimes, so I'm off to bed to get some sleep and put life in perspective.

Rantum · 10/02/2007 22:13

too seriously. bye.

3andnomore · 10/02/2007 22:22

Smiley, oh yes...a minefield for sure...it is so easy to offend even if you really don't mean to...language does matter and put on top that you can't see the other person, so, just go by the typed conversation....

Bassmama...oh yeah....I know it wasn't lazyness by you, but convinience in the situation...travelling, etc....when I did ff ms, and was out then I would also go for the cartons, as so much more convinient...I was saying about teh "lazyness" comment you received, and saying, if you go by that, then really one should class teh succesful bf mum as lazy, because if it all works out good then that is the easier, more lazy option....

Stiller · 10/02/2007 22:23

"We mothers really take ourselves WAY to seriously sometimes, so I'm off to bed to get some sleep and put life in perspective"

IMO that should be quote of the week!

Seriously though, does anyone really give a shit what's in anyone else's basket when we go shopping?

Mercy · 10/02/2007 22:27

Have only read the OP.

My answer is no, and why on earth should anyone feel embarrased?

Hulababy · 10/02/2007 22:31

No, never felt embarrased. Why should I? I was conifident that I was giving my daughter what she and I needed at the time and in our circumstances.

Twinklemegan · 10/02/2007 22:53

I know what you mean Quootiepie. I used to feel terrible buying formula, but I think that came from my feelings about breastfeeding not working out too well. Now DS is over 6 months and I don't really feel bad buying it at all because I've (almost) come to terms with it myself. Your LO is 9 months did you say, so I hope you're not feeling guilty for not bf any more - you did brilliantly! I suppose other people don't know how old your LO is but it's none of their business anyway - stuff em I say!

expatinscotland · 10/02/2007 22:54

No.

Why?

I was really ill after having DD1. Such severe PND.

I couldn't even go round to get it most of the time for being ill.

If people have a problem with it, well, that's their problem, really.

I have bigger fish to fry.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 10/02/2007 23:33

wow, 70 posts! Great points of view. I can relate to the person (forgot who ) who is also embarrassed abit feeding a bottle when out - I was so scared to breastfeed in public in the early days that I would take breastmilk in a bottle, and was still embarrassed that people would see me with a bottle and presume it was formula! And without passing the buck, I agree with whoever said MN can be sometimes the cause of insecurity... There is so much great and well thought out advice on here you can't fail to feel abit second rate when you aren't following it, if you see what I mean. xXx

OP posts:
random · 10/02/2007 23:36

NO never .whats it got to do with anyone else how I fed my babies

NadineBaggott · 10/02/2007 23:36

No I don't - to your own self be true.

Advice can be great but at the end of the day you do what you feel is right for you.

matildax · 11/02/2007 08:20

well said nadine, having read through all the replies, i cant help but thinking that people who ff thier babies are thought of as somewhat inferior to those who bf. i know bf is best but as i said earlier its not for everyone, i myself put far more emphasis on keeping my ds happy, healthy and content than worrying about peoples reactions to my choice to ff, at the end of the day isnt that whats important?? just a thought............ x

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 08:21

Message withdrawn

DimpledThighs · 11/02/2007 08:27

I am sure no one is judging you - do an online shop and stick it on there but most people will not give the next person's shopping a second thought.

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