Newborn fed all night. So close to giving up.

[Runningupthathill82]

I feel like such a wreck and such a failure right now.

DD was born on Monday and I've slept for perhaps four hours in total since then, in odd half hour blocks, as she insists on being latched on all night. I mean literally all night, not feeding once an hour and going in her Moses basket in between - all night long with no break.

Last night was the straw that has broken this camel's back. She started feeding at 8pm and hasn't come off me yet for more than the time it takes for two loo trips, three nappy changes and a spectacular vomit over the bedclothes. I dropped off for about 10 mins out of sheer exhaustion, with her on a pillow on my bed. I know this is dangerous and it terrifies me.

The night before, she did this non stop feeding from 9pm to 6am and then I slept from 6 for a little bit. But today she won't be put down at all, more than 12hrs since she went on.

I struggled badly to bf my DS, and ended up exclusively expressing for three months, until he could latch well. He was also readmitted to hospital twice as he lost so much weight. I'm worried the same thing is happening again.

I have two huge flat nipples, one of which is inverted. It is impossible for DD to get a mouthful of areola,and the latch is screamingly painful for me each and every time. With DS I had mastitis four times as my milk just doesn't flow right on the inverted side.

I can't do what I did with DS and express round the clock - I have a toddler and a newborn this time. I'm lost. I'm shattered and feel like I'm going crazy.

Right now I want to walk out of my front door and never go home again. Please help.

for you

This was me last week, I cried through every feed and my nipples were so cracked and bleeding the midwife saw them and told me it was time to stop. I only had 1 flat/Inverted nipple so I soldiered on with my good nipple and when that one got too sore I pumped the flat nipple for about 5/10 minutes before trying to latch which helped enormous amounts and I now have a little stash of ebm!! Is that something you could try?

Hope the support group can help you, I know how soul destroying it can be when you are sleep deprived, hormonal and in pain.

Thanks ickle. I'm really trying to avoid expressing this time - I mean, I'll express bits off in the shower and so on, but I really don't want to get on the pump.

With my DS, I exclusively expressed for three months as he couldn't latch, and it was a very difficult time for us both. I honestly can't express on top of feeding a newborn and looking after a (very jealous and demanding) toddler.

It's also not much good my having a stash of EBM, as my milk doesn't freeze and defrost properly. I figured this out to my detriment three years ago when I went back to work with two freezer drawers full of EBM, all of which had to be thrown away as it tasted foul when it defrosted. Something to do with an excess of lipase in my milk, I believe. I'm not ashamed to say I cried when the results of months of dedicated pumping had to be thrown out.

Hope you're doing better now. Have you stopped bf and are you feeling better for it? It's such a difficult and isolating time

How's it going now, have you been able to get any sleep?

Totally understand why you can't start expressing with a toddler in tow.

I have got some more sleep, yes - but only because I gave her a dummy lady night in desperation. She was perfectly happy to suck on that rather than me...

Aw, I did the same with ds2, he soon spat it out and let me know if he was hungry.

She did the same - did a 4hr stretch of sleep (which her brother didn't do til he was almost a year old!) and then woke for a monster feed.
She's since cluster fed all morning instead of all night, which is fine, and so much more manageable.

I was going to suggest a soother, some babies need to suck a lot more than others, and it's nonsense that its bad for them. No need to turn yourself into a human soother and shred your nipples altogether!

Running - my DD had tongue tie and I had the lipstick shaped and cracked and bleeding nipples you describe. The exact same constant feeding issues too. My midwife also dismissed my concerns (my DD was gaining weight and having loads of wet/dirty nappies). Our first visit with the HV at 12 days old? She took one look at DD and diagnosed tongue tie. She spoke over the midwife (who was saying they wouldn't do anything), pointed out that my health was as important and that DD would be doing even better without the tongue tie.

Our local children's Sure Start centre had a lactation consultant - she confirmed it needed to be cut. We went private due to a wait of a few weeks (we could afford it and DH didn't want me to wait). That first feed immediately after it was done was incredible. I cried with relief. Dd's weight gain went nuts, she slept better and farted less and my nipples healed.

Can you reach out to your HV team? It's shameful that we have to fight for breastfeeding support, but it is there if you shout loudly enough.

My DD had her tongue tie snipped but I was still getting sorer and sorer and had the lipstick nipple. Further to my comment earlier in the thread I have now made peace that I am expressing and bottle feeding but in conjunction with formula as I'm only managing to express 1-2 ounces 3 times s day. Have ordered an electric pump tho so hoping this will be more efficient. I tell myself that she is getting my milk at least once per day and that otherwise at least she is getting fed.

How did you get on today, OP?