jars and sachets - MIL is disgusted

[Murphyslaw21]

Bit of a back story...

My house we bought before baby is very old, found out I was pregnant so did bedrooms, and living room. We have no heating or water, having run out of money we have had to put kitchen old hold.

House is warmed by a wood burner. Now my kitchen is disgusting. Mould, damp no water (outside tap only). We only use it as necessary. Pots and pans are washed in bucket with kettle water. Therefore I only give baby jars and sachets. Now I spend a fortune she has mango breakfast, porridge, roast dinners all fruit and veg. I wash her pots and sterilise them. I would not think of risking cooking as I'm not convinced pots and utensils are clean enough. We won't be doing kitchen until next year as we have to put in heating in this year. We don't have a dishwasher as no space for one.

My MIL has raised concerns and insults that it's because I can't be bothered to cook and that the jars are full of preservatives and additives. But I read them and they are 100% organic with nothing added. I'm so cross.

I give baby 3 good meals a day. I would love to cook but it's an awful kitchen. When we go out with her and I pull out a packet I get rolling eyes and sarcastic comments. The other day I said well buy me a kitchen then. And she moaned that I spent the money on doing bedrooms first. But my logic was baby needs a nice clean bedroom . We had been sleeping for six months on an air bed. Not fun whilst heavily pregnant.

I'm so angry but I'm wondering if the jars and sachets are bad.

My Ds went through a period of refusing to eat anything but jar food. He is fine eats a wide diet now older

It wouldn't worry me initially but I don't think you can last a year... My DS also then refused jar food once it went to the lumpy stage.. So you have no way of knowing..

Seems extremely unlikely that a baby whose main source of nutrition is milk would "fail to thrive" due to being fed jars. An average 7 month old might need about 650-700 calories a day, and 600ml formula provides 400 of that.

jars/pouches usually contain too little fat for a growing baby. but if you bung in a little oil/butter/cream and herbs for taste it should be fine.

Could you just answer some basic queries people have:

Do you have a toilet? If so it must flush?
How do you wash clothes and dry them?
How do you sterilise bottles (if bottle fed)?
Why haven't you got a basic kitchen area in another room?
How do you sanitise baby equipment?
How can you afford all this food? Microwave meals every night??! And baby jars 3x a day? You'll never get your kitchen done at this rate.

It's not really helpful to say F off. You must know the environment you are living in is mental for a 6 month old. And you mins be aware that a 16 month old ( you said this is the age it goes up to)
Can't eat baby mush

Don't worry about the nasty posts, you obviously love your DD very much and if she's healthy and happy then who are they or your MIL to judge?!

slow cookers are on offer in tescos at the moment for £10

to be fair i think some of the poster saying you need to prioritise a kitchen and indoor water are right

can you not get a warm front grant for the heating? (i think they still do them in some areas)

i grew up in a house without central heating it had a kitchen and hot water though and i was fine

there is nothing wrong with packets and jars but it can be a bit of a binding diet so i would supplement it as best you can

A little camping stove is a great idea, as is microwaving veg, finger food, and sharing your own microwaved meals. Different textures are really important for normal eating and speaking later. You could get the Baby Led Weaning Cookbook www.amazon.co.uk/The-Baby-led-Weaning-Cookbook-delicious/dp/0091935288 It's not complicated cooking at all but ideas for food you can give for different meals and the rationale behind them, it's really simple and helpful.

If doing the kitchen requires a complete rebuild of the room, have you thought about converting the living room or other downstairs room into the kitchen for a cheaper, quicker fix? Then you can build a brand new living area at a later date (which will be an easier build anyway as it won't need plumbing in).

Obviously I have no idea about the layout of your house of if that's possible!

When we had our kitchen done we used a camping stove as a hob, a slow cooker, a toaster and microwave. There aren't that many things you can't make using those. A George Foreman grill thingy would work too.

Crystal

Your questions answered
Do you have a toilet? If so it must flush?
How do you wash clothes and dry them?
How do you sterilise bottles (if bottle fed)?
Why haven't you got a basic kitchen area in another room?
How do you sanitise baby equipment?
How can you afford all this food? Microwave meals every night??! And baby jars 3x a day? You'll never get your kitche

Flushing toilet yes
Washing machine is in garage working
Bottles washed with boiling water from kettle and put in microwave
Sanitise what equipment???
I have to afford this food - what type of question is that-

As I said it's not ideal and what the heck does flushing toilet have to do with kitchen!

If there is no water in the kitchen but you are going to completely redo in a year why not get a tap put in at least - it wouldn't be expensive as an extension from the outside tap. Friends (husband a builder) did that in a room of their house that was a 'project' house and they just had a bucket below rather than putting in drains (which are much more expensive to put in than a tap). My friend carried that bucket of dirty water out several times a day over 4 pregnancies but their house is now complete and the proper kitchen is amazing and the room with the tap has been converted into a study (tap removed).

Agree with above about getting a slow cooker, however I'd use a small electric hob rather than a camp burner though, much safer inside.

Nooo - get the slow cooker not the burner! You'll eat much healthier! And no extra pots to buy!

Here's my weaning baby family meal plan - all in slow cooker - costs less to run than a lightbulb. All can be supplemented by frozen veg heated in microwave.

Lentil soup: lentils plus water in slow cooker. Low for six hours. More water gives you a soupy consistency. Less is thicker. Salt adult portions. Nice with a slug of olive oil and a chunk of cheddar & bread.
(half an onion; whole carrot; stick celery; bay leaf; spoon cumin/coriander optional extra elements)

Pot roast chicken. While chicken in slow cooker. Onion/carrot/celery/bay leaf/half lemon improve it. On low all day. Serve adult portion with a kicking spicy sauce and microwave rice or bagged salad.

Fish pie: frozen fish pie mix; creme fraiche; dried parsley; frozen green beans. Top with aunt Bessie frozen mash, or microwave potatoes 'mashed' yourself if you are concerned with salt.

'Omelette' grease inside bowl well. Chuck in some left over bits (ham, veg, cheese). Cover with six beaten eggs. Cook til firm(2hrs?) . Serve as finger food.

Pulled pork. Cooked all day in a litre of apple juice with some whole carrots/seasonal root veg on side. Reserve meat and veg for baby. Shred the rest with two forks, stir with a bottle of BBQ sauce and eat in soft rolls with coleslaw.

Minestrone soup. Half bag frozen chopped onions sweated in spoonful of oil in SC for 45 mins. Add sliced carrots, squeeze of tomato purée, bay leaf, oregano, tin kidney beans. Cook 6 hours on low. Add handful of mini pasta 30mins before eating.

It's very versatile - and my DC actually prefer to softer texture.

OP don't get defensive, it doesn't help and there is good advice here too.

Microwave, toaster and slow cooker are enough.

Jars are okay now but I would move to at least one meal being finger food or otherwise cooked as soon as you can. For your benefit if nothing else.

For lunch, hummus or peanut butter on toast/bagel are often eaten here. Or microwave beans and toast.

Oh please, OP's circumstances aren't the ideal, but she's not living in a tent eating cold baked beans ffs.

Plenty of people renovate houses and have babies. Go preach to the middle-class mummies on Grand Designs living in caravans with newborns. OP's baby has not been eating solids for very long so she's working it all out, the not-so-subtle posts implying she's neglecting her child aren't helpful.

OP, you need to improvise, that's all. And once you've got a neat little system set up that works for you, it will be a lot less stressful and it'll be fine.

Agree with the pp saying you need to set up a temp kitchen in the house somewhere.

Its not healthy for you to be living on microwave foods and jars. What is your front room like? can you put a fridge/freezer in there? You havent (as far as I can see) answered any questions about it... Even if you put it in one of the finished bedrooms

Re affording the food- the bottom line is, its a LOT more expensive to buy pre-prepared foods and they simply are not as healthy as making your own.

Jars aren't the end of the world. We ended up using them a lot, DD eats fine now.

If this was for the next few months it really wouldn't be the end of the world.

But - having a baby who is going to need to eat decent food for the next year or two, before the kitchen is done, does mean you need a rethink.

Obviously you can't magic the money up to do the kitchen overnight, but spending all that money on jars and pouches will eat quickly into the money you are trying to save to do the kitchen.

Time for a rethink. There's loads of advice on this thread from people who have been in similar situations. Try and work out how you can make a mini temporary kitchen in one of the rooms that is acceptable so you can all get through the next year or two eating more than microwave meals.

Weaning babies are easy to manage and generally eat to a schedule. An eighteen month old having a growth spurt will eat you out of house and home, and you're going to need more filling meals, and the ability to make them toast, sandwiches etc.

Another gadget worth considering is an electric steamer. It has 3 layers and can cook fresh veg, fish etc in less than half an hour. It's about £25, can be stored easily and wiped clean.

Camping stove indoors is NOT a good idea! Fuck sake.

OP - just get a two ring electric hotplate, bring the fridge into the front room and at least you can cook indoors. Then you can save more money to get the kitchen done sooner. I have a two ring hot plate and do cookery demos in all sorts of weird places, as long as there is electricity I can cook. Water - you can fill a couple of 5l water cannisters and get a big bowl, which means you can rinse your hands and any food indoors.

I used one of those little ovens with two electric rings on for months when I had our kitchen done. You could buy a very cheap bit of kitchen worktop and make a clean temp kitchen easily as long as you have a little room. I presume you have a fridge and freezer. I'd ask MIL if you or your DH could go over and batch cook and freeze.
I used jars some of the time but they are a bit same'y and many are full of disguised sugar.

I think you did the right thing sorting out the bedrooms first, it would of been really unhealthy for the baby to be sleeping in a mouldy room.

Have you got a mini fridge or do you buy ready meals everyday?

Jars 3x a day isn't the worst thing in the world. I would personally do toast and a banana for breakfast. If you want to sterilise the plates before giving it to the baby then you can put the plate in boiling water first just so theres different textures going on and theres nothing wrong with giving babies sandwhichs either instead of 3 jars a day. I'm sure you could make a philly sandwhich on a plate on your lap.

Whole butternut squash in SC for about 6 hours. Halve, scoop out seeds, mash with fork (adding butter/grated cheese/nutmeg to taste). Feed to baby.

If it's too much - I think it would taste nice for adults on toast - but that's an exclusively baby food it our house.

Same thing works for potatoes/sweet potatoes/marrow. If you take it out slightly eairliner its firm enough for finger food. Later - and it's almost premashed in its skin!

If you have managed to do two bedrooms, I'd combine you all into one and set the other up as a temp kitchen.

Put a stair gate on the door so it's safe when you are leaving things cooking. You could easily get a fridge/freezer from a second hand place. Get a toaster, slow cooker from wilkinsons really cheaply and a second hand table you could probably do it for under £200. I got rid of my old appliances for £20 each on my local FB selling site when I did the kitchen, I just needed them to be out of the way on the right day. Loads of people do the same.

You can also cook porridge in slow cooker (but ignore the recipes that tell you to cook it overnight - I've never found 'steel cut oats' in UK shops - and it overcooks). I make it thick, and slice the cold leftovers into baby finger food. Cook with some apples/dried apricots for sweetness.

You mentioned you'll buy a camping gas cooker (think that's what you said). Don't get a gas one, get an electric hob. We did up our kitchen ourselves (no baby) so it went on for a long time. It's really frustrating not having a proper kitchen. We set up an area in our little living room for a double electric hob, kettle, toaster, fridge freezer and microwave and it was fine, annoying but fine. Washing up with heated water in the bath was annoying enough so I do feel for you having to boil the kettle etc. It wasn't as bad as when we didn't have a toilet and I had to were in a bucket though! I think you need to try and sort yourself out a 'proper' temporary kitchen area - find some kind of storage unit to put food in eg chest of drawers borrowed from bedroom or something. Is there no way to borrow some money to get it done? Some places do interest free kitchens but I realise that doesn't help with paying for the labour. If it were me I think if have had a break down by now so well done for sticking with it. I'm sure your baby is well cared for, ignore the critical comments. Just a thought, could you make your temp kitchen in your garage as you must have a water supply if the washing machine is in there? Even if you spent £500 sorting out a temp kitchen it would be worth it if it's going to be a year or more until you get a proper one. The amount of money you'd waste in a year with microwave meals and sachets probably adds up to a small fortune so you'd 'earn' it back. Just my rambling thoughts.