jars and sachets - MIL is disgusted

[Murphyslaw21]

Bit of a back story...

My house we bought before baby is very old, found out I was pregnant so did bedrooms, and living room. We have no heating or water, having run out of money we have had to put kitchen old hold.

House is warmed by a wood burner. Now my kitchen is disgusting. Mould, damp no water (outside tap only). We only use it as necessary. Pots and pans are washed in bucket with kettle water. Therefore I only give baby jars and sachets. Now I spend a fortune she has mango breakfast, porridge, roast dinners all fruit and veg. I wash her pots and sterilise them. I would not think of risking cooking as I'm not convinced pots and utensils are clean enough. We won't be doing kitchen until next year as we have to put in heating in this year. We don't have a dishwasher as no space for one.

My MIL has raised concerns and insults that it's because I can't be bothered to cook and that the jars are full of preservatives and additives. But I read them and they are 100% organic with nothing added. I'm so cross.

I give baby 3 good meals a day. I would love to cook but it's an awful kitchen. When we go out with her and I pull out a packet I get rolling eyes and sarcastic comments. The other day I said well buy me a kitchen then. And she moaned that I spent the money on doing bedrooms first. But my logic was baby needs a nice clean bedroom . We had been sleeping for six months on an air bed. Not fun whilst heavily pregnant.

I'm so angry but I'm wondering if the jars and sachets are bad.

Yes, batch cook and freeze. Buy a slow cooker and a camp set of rings. That with a microwave is doable.

I'm another one who is surprised you would prioritise bedrooms over a kitchen. I'm sorry to say I think you have showed a distinct lack of common sense in doing so.

There is nothing wrong with using baby jars and packets at all, but I find your set up very odd.

I've a tefal '8 in 1' rice cooker/slow cooker/steamer that would be useful.

nothing wrong with jars although they seem a bit bland.

how do you keep yourselves clean??

I would have done kitchen first too sorry 😧 at how you live.

Also you need to give dd better food than that. Nutritionally jars and sachets are lacking in nutrients compared to real food. Also they lack flavour. You aren't doing your dd any favours raising her in wierd tasting bland rubbish. Also how old is she? Very soon you will need to be feeding her what you have (which ideally you are supposed to do from the off) and if that's salty fatty sugar laden microwave meals you're in real trouble.

Sorry to be so negative. Positive suggestions are:

Fresh fruit very easy to feed baby. Bananas and avocado are your friends. As are soft fruits like raspberries strawberries blueberries etc. Ripe Pears and mango or melon too. (I know some people are precious about citrus it's up to you)

Sweet potato and even Normal potato can be microwaved without too much trouble add cheese and butter.

Surely you have a food prep table in your living room- can you do that?

Full fat Greek yoghurt.

Baby will soon have slices of cheese, toast, cherry tomatoes halved, red peppers, hummus....

Buy a baby food book like Annabel karmel and look to see what you can do from your situation.

Go and batch cook round at a friends. Stock your freezer with ice cubes trays of baby meals. One adult sized meal for 2 goes a long way for dc. Then you just need to microwave defrost and reheat the food. Perhaps boil some pasta rice or veg.

Buy pre prepared packs of veg, better than no veg. Or even frozen veg. Then all you need to do is micro froz veg with a bit if water, drain (drive or put a plate on top little but if water trickle into a bowl.

Can you at least buy a dishwasher early then you don't have to wash up in dire straights, stick it in your hallway?

Hope that helps/ isn't all unrealistic.

Good luck!

I wouldnt prioritise central heating OP, get oil filed radiotors for now.
The weather is fairly mild, spring is sort of round the corner.

Get kitchen & water in. People Ebay/Gumtree whole kitchens.

Put a little table in babys rooms for fruit, preparing sandwiches, salad. Get a two ring hob/slow cooker.

Jars and so on are ok, but it's not a long term plan imho.
As for your kitchen, been there myself. DH is a builder, and over the years we have lived in several total wrecks while we did them up from the roof down, including living with no proper kitchen or indoor water for ages.
What I did was this: in the one reasonable living room, I made a temporary kitchen - we scrounged an old sink unit, it wasn't fitted or connected to water or drains. I had a hose pipe with a tap on coming through the window and a bucket for waste. I had a microwave and a camping cooker (two gas rings and grill) plus a table and fridge. Washer in an outbuildings. After a bit we got an old cooker. You can get table top ovens now very cheaply, they are about the size of a microwave and will take up to a chicken in size. Lived with one of those for ages in another doerupper.
Don't worry about the rest of the house, just keep the one room clean and warm. It doesn't matter if you have old tatty second hand stuff ( look on freecycle second hand shops ect) but you do need cooking facilities if it is longer term.
Oh, and for hot water I used a huge jam pan.
It can be done! Good luck!

Finally, I cook for up to 30 people at Guide camp on 4 gas rings - including all the hot water, in a tent, 3 hot meals a day, no one has ever been poorly - so go for it.

I was raised in a time when most babies were fed on jars of baby food. We all survived fine, and our jars of baby food were full of preservatives. Your baby will be fine.

So no central heating or kitchen but it's ok because the baby's bedroom is 'done'?
You'll be spending a lot extra on pouches and jars so please invest something on making a corner kitchen in your living room so the baby gets some variety in her diet.

What about a baby food processor? That would be a good way of getting fresh food into her, and you'd be able to sterile the parts, and it wouldn't take up much room. Presumably you have a fridge and microwave? Toast or porridge with fresh fruit for breakfast, something like soup, jacket potatoes or eggs for lunch. Rice cakes, bits of cheese, other little bits for snacks. That way you can give a jar/pouch for her dinner and she'll have had a range of different foods and textures through the day.

Can you not have a temporary basic kitchen - sink with running drinking water, electric cooker, table - in a living room. A damp house isn't good for anyone's health and will become hazardous when baby becomes toddler. She can't live on jars and MW meals indefinitely. Friend had baby in a renovation project but kitchen became the first habitable room with an aga to keep the damp away. If you had a mortgage you'd need a kitchen at least.

It's not fair that your MIL is blaming you. Presumably you are married to her son and your daughter's living and eating conditions are as much his responsibility as yours.

I was bottle fed then weaned on jars as many people from my generation were. Now we know it's not optimal, but it's clearly not poison either.

I do second the posters saying you should try to get a little makeshift kitchen in one of your useable rooms. Just buy stuff that you can transfer to your proper kitchen when it's done. Fridge/freezer, slow cooker, toaster all good. This way you can give baby some basic food that you eat yourselves to supplement jars. Definitely start giving fresh fruit. My son devours it along with yogurt. It's good to get them eating independently as well.

What does the health visitor say?

If you have no water or heating, how are you managing to wash and dry clothes and bedding, towels, cloths etc. I think I would have done kitchen, heating, bathroom and one bedroom first. Are the electrics safe?

I have a 12 monh old DS and the amount if mess and washing and cleanng he creates is amazing really for the size of him. I am no domestic goddess either so not overly obsessed.

Is there no way to get some hot water into the house- at least into the lean to?

You could set up a corner of the sitting room as a kitchen as people have suggested.

You can do frozen mixed veg in the microwave. Also low sugar and salt baked beans when they're bigger.

A couple of weeks before Christmas we had no central heating or water for 2 days. It was manageable for those 2 days, but we couldn't have done it longer term. How do you flush toilets? I'm with your Mil on this, your poor child! You need to come up with a solution, it's not normal or healthy to live the way you are doing.

Your baby has only been eating solids for a month, if you started at the recommended age, so it's not absolutely unthinkable that you haven't got things properly sorted yet!

Get going on making a little makeshift kitchen. A table, a microwave, an electric 2-ring hob and a fridge. That's all you need.

I did this when living with my parents, their kitchen was absolutely filthy and falling down. I ripped the shelves out of the empty airing cupboard in my room, painted inside, got hold of a scrap piece of kitchen counter from Homebase for £5 and fitted it, and built a mini kitchen. All I had was as I said above, and I was able to make proper meals. It doesn't take much.

Thing is, it's not just about the baby (who will be absolutely fine on pre-prepared meals for a few months yet), readymeals can't be fantastic for your health. And I bet it's costing you a fortune.

I am amazed at the sniffing and sanctimony. You are clearly doing your best in anticipation of a lovely home later. Fresh fruit, veggies (cooked in the microwave) all good. Can you ask to use friends kitchens sometimes to prep fresh food? Can someone else provide space in a freezer? Ask MIL to help - her remarks are useless to everyone. Good luck with the renovations.

Jars and pouches are ok but ideally shouldn't be the mainstay of the diet. If she's getting fresh fruit too, that's great. You say you've done the bedrooms, could you put a toaster and a fruit bowl in one of them? She could have toast, fruit and veg crudites, bit of cheese too.

No hot water doesn't mean no water, so I imagine she's managing to wash her clothes like anyone with a coldwater machine manages to.

Yes hHV has been around and because her living environment is very good she has no concerns.

She also has no concerns with jars etc. She thinks it's safer than preparing food for her.

I eat out of microwave I hate it. I would not prepare food for myself let alone a baby.

Baby is putting on normal amount of weight.

A soup maker or slow cooker would be useful. I have a soup maker- throw in chopped veg and stock, turn it on- soup with veg pureed is produced 20 mins later, turns itself off. Can put anything in - has different settings. Was only £20ish. We use it most days at the moment. Easily cleaned with water and washing up liquid. If you put water in and turned it on it would boil the water and clean itself actually.

Plenty of disabled people live on microwaved meals. There re good microwaved meals, and very unhealthy ones.