Breastfeeding at 3 days old

[Gyarr]

Hi everyone. New dad here looking for advice to help an exhausted wife and newborn baby.

Our baby just seems to cry - constantly. I mean she will take an hour to settle down and then start crying again after 10 minutes. She's being changed and being kept warm the only thing is the feeding?

When my wife begins to feed her she settles but only suckles for 2-3mins before falling asleep. Then we go to move her and the crying kicks off again. Neither my wife nor baby have had much sleep since she was born and as you can imagine it's very distressing for my wife and I just want to help her.

I'm writing this now at 3am as both sleep in bed beside me whilst I keep watch.

Regrettably this sounds pretty normal. At 3 days old I brought my baby into bed & Co slept, breastfeeding lying down that way even if I didn't properly sleep I could at least rest a bit

Breastfeeding is a little relentless at the beginning as your baby is feeding non stop to establish the milk supply but it does get better.

Personally I'd try to keep the baby awake to feed for longer- you can do this by stroking the soles of their feet or removing a layer of clothing. Sometimes they're too sleepy to feed and it's a vicious circle.

However feeding all night is common at this stage. It will get better! Congratulations and all the best x

Wow thankyou for your quick replies. Could you point me in the direction of any guides for breastfeeding as I don't think my wife asked for/received enough help while she was in hospital. As well as perhaps a guide on co sleeping?

As I say the pair of them are fast asleep beside me now. Were I to move baby she'd be screaming again.

You can understand that my wife is finding it difficult with so little sleep and our baby crying so much with everyone else around us in hospital seemed to have such peaceful babies.

What I'm gathering is that if baby is crying at this stage she probably needs feeding, even if it's every hour or less? But how does my poor wife ever get any sleep?

I'm bf my 3 day old now and my milk has just come in so hopefully that will fill her up more.

Agree with keeping her awake a bit longer so she feeds more and less frequent.

With my first we didn't use a dummy and I found that she was on the boob 24/7 as she was crying all the time (didn't know the hungry cry and boob made her happy). This time we have got a dummy already to use after a feed which gives me a bit of a rest.

But they do feed more at night, I remember the bf sessions said it was something about stimulating your milk production.

My first was that crying baby in the hospital. I had to stay in the first night and even the midwives got us co sleeping / feeding lying down.

Sorry pps.

We also have dd swaddled with the white noice running which I think also help.

kellymom.com/hot-topics/newborn-nursing/

Also feeding a three day old. I'm exhausted but I know it'll get better. I will stay in bed a lot tomorrow and be sleeping when not feeding. It's a learning curve for mum and baby and daddy too! You're doing a great job and congratulations on your baby

My 2nd is now 8 days and it's significantly better. But day 3 is a tough time of painful feeds and utter exhaustion.

Things you can do to help: make sure she always has food and water to hand - and put it on the side she isn't feeding off; make sure all the basic chores are getting done so all she has to worry about is feeding the baby and healing up after the birth; get a sling if baby won't go in the buggy and take her for a short walk so she can have a bath in peace; tell her, all the time, how proud you are!

Www.kellymom.com is a good source of breastfeeding information

Hi, am in a different time zone so can keep you company. I agree with others, 3 days is really hard the worst. Do you know if your wife's milk has come in at this stage? For many people this can involve feeling completely full of milk and all of a sudden the baby, when they finally have a bit more (we are talking in ounces here) , can go from feeding all the time to giving it an hour or two between feeds. It sounds like baby is doing his/her best to make this happen - all I would say is keep them permanently attached and the milk coming in will follow and it shouldn't be more than a day or two.

I know it's the middle of the night there but try and get the baby assessed tomorrow for weight and how alert they are and keep an eye on wet and dirty nappies. Do not hesitate to bring a 3 day old back to the ward if you are worried about how they are. And get someone in first thing to check latch, tongue ties and your wife' general health especially if she has had a difficultt birth.

Kellymom for breastfeeding a co-sleeping is great. If you can "split-shift" and do 2 hours on 2 hours off with your wife that can help too, I guess these poor creatures have only just got out of the womb, if the baby will sleep on you even for a bit and let your wife recover physically it will help. I remember a 3 hour sleep one afternoon that changed everything after being up for 72 hours... good luck to you.

Again thankyou all so much for your replies. I feel we have been going wrong in so much as midwives have told us to feed every 3-4 hours max and we have been attempting to do that rather than reading the cues from the baby that she is hungry.

My wife at times had convinced herself something was wrong with our baby and other times that she was inadequate as a mother - which is tough at only 3 days and exhausted to boot. I'm doing all I can to be supportive and positive.

I have read the kellymom link and I'll be sure to read up with my wife in the morning. I'll see how we go with the next feed and maybe call someone to help if we need to.

Is there like an app for keeping track of feeds/nappy changes etc? Or is pen and paper best?

I have found a note on my phone easiest, I record time started / stopped and hoe long on each side. I try and make sure he doesn't go more than two hours between feeds during the day and four at night. It does get easier, I assure you.

Write it down just. There are apps but you'll get obsessed. Just track it for a few days so you can reassure yourself. Wet cloth on the back of the neck to wake the baby or tug the ear lobes. My dd1 was a sleepy feeder too. Fricking nightmare. My sympathy.

I'm up feeding mine dd2 at 10 days old. She's a different kettle of fish altogether from dd1 and feeds and sleeps really well. That said last week I was up all night long too so you might find it gets easier next week. At 3 days the hormone roller coaster is a killer. She'll be feeling it right enough. Keep telling her how brilliant she is. Because she is.

Google videos on biological nurturing. This method of feeding is great and everyone gets more sleep. Don't freak out about cosleeping. It's the best way of getting the feeding cues and of bonding with baby.

Good luck and congratulations on your new arrival! Enjoy!

There are a few apps for tracking - if you just search "baby tracker" it'll bring them up, they're all broadly similar.

Mind, I drove myself a bit potty tracking everything when DD was born.

Your wife sounds like she's doing brilliantly. It is so tough. Is she on Facebook? There are some La Leche League groups on there - if she just searches La Leche League + your local city/area. I found them an invaluable source of support. They also have a helpline if she wants to talk to someone.

for her (and all of you!) it does get easier but it will take a little time. Look after her!

Agree with Joskar - write it down for a day or so but don't get too bogged down with an app. I'm up feeding my 6m old and remember those early days like it was yesterday. Feeding every 3-4h is not really the norm for most newborns. Their stomachs are tiny (think cherry size) and breastmilk digests in 90min so it's normal to want frequent feeds and at this stage lots of suckling will help the milk supply to build up.

It's also normal for baby to want to be held. They've only ever known contact with mum and it soothes them. First 2-3 nights home my DH alternated sitting up holding baby while she and I slept then he would sleep while I was feeding. Google the 4th trimester to read about it.

Day 3 is also massively emotional and hormonal for your wife. It's really tough so make life as easy as possible for yourselves and accept help - for example with cooking housework etc - despite what some well meaning relatives may think holding baby while you do these things is not helpful.

I could go on because I feel strongly about how difficult this all is but its normal and you're both doing great. And it does get easier I promise

Honestly the thing that saved my Bf journey was la letche meetings and the lovely ladies there.

The best advice I had was if baby crys, feed her!! It stopped me stressing that she was feeding too often (we were told the ever 3hojrs thing too) and it really helps to unload to mums in the same position.

at 3days baby is probably still getting your wife's milk to come in so it should settle a bit soon, hang in there. The few days are rough but it's totally worth it

Shocked that the hospital told you not to feed more than 3-4h apart when ds was mucjmuch older than your dc he couldn't do that in the day! Please be led by your baby hunger cues. Kellymum is great website or la leche has already been mentioned. Regardless of if you did classes nct also offer breastfeeding support but your midwife should be first to support as can reassure you still putting on weight. At this stage dh and I did night shifts with ds asleep on one of us and swapped each feed. If she screams when passed from dw to you see if she will feed again but more likely to sleep on you than in moses basket. Catch up tv is your friend!

There are definitely apps out there that can be helpful. I am in the USA and I use one from AmericanBaby called Baby Nursing which allows you to track feeding time, nappy changes, sleep times, weight gain and so on. Some people don't recommend using an app in the early days as you're supposed to just feed on demand and go with the flow but I found personally that an app helped me get a sense of control and not worry so much. You don't have to get too hung up on entering data and tracking feeds but it can help you get a handle on things when it feels chaotic.

Check out your App Store and I'm sure there will be a UK equivalent in there!

A by can survive without milk for about 5 or 6 days, that is when the milk kicks in. It's hard at first ,but believe me.It is rare to lactate milk proper for a few days after giving birth unless you are already feeding anoter enfant.
My milk took five days to start, and I breastfed for nearly 2 months. I am so thankful to the nurses who reassured me nothing was wrong.
I'm not saying everyone can breastfeed, just wanted to let you know that this is normal ( and exhausting).

A baby, sorry, terrible cold, left work early.

And yes: to reiterate what other posters have said, it is absolutely normal for a newborn to feed every 1-2 hours. Going longer than 2 hours between feeds at the newborn stage is rare. But it doesn't last forever.

Yes you poor things being told every 3-4 hours for a breastfed baby, If baby cries, boob in mouth for the next while until milk comes in. And feeding lying down is the best way to get through this part, also loads of drinks and food for your wife. Congrats, this is ridiculously hard I know but it does get easier !

(Ps, don't compare yours with the quiet sleeping babies, those babies will have their own moments I assure you! :) )

Good on you for supporting your wife, bf is SO SO hard and day 3 is probably the very worst day due to your baby needing to overfeed to stretch their stomach. Are you sure the midwives don't mean leave a gap of 3-4 hours Max between feeds? That sounds much more healthy for a newborn. Sounds like your wife is doing everything right anyway, it's just exhaustilng at that stage but will get so much better with time. Congratulations and good luck!

Congratulations

Firstly - tell your wife she 100% isn't inadequate as a mother. You've been given wrong advice.

Secondly - this picture is good read baby cues of being hungry.

Next, feed feed feed. LOTS of skin to skin even when not feeding, either on yours or your wife's chest, keep baby close. Play tag team on sleep between you. Milk will likely come in today and she will be emotional, aching, she may bleed a bit more.

Where are you based ? Google your town and breastfeeding supporting and see what comes up. There may be a BF Group cafe who will have links to peer supporters or BF councillor to come and see you.

Finally don't forget to eat yourselves. Order takeaway or grab a microwave meal but make sure you feed your wife. She needs food herself for energy (porridge, oats, eggs are good and quick to make)

Please feed on demand by taking cues from your baby. I bf all three of mine and this is how I did it right up to when I stopped when they were 12 months. I kept a record of every feed and there was a pattern but I didn't have a schedule. The baby knows what it needs.

And let the baby sleep next to you if it settles her best that way. She'll be looking for the warmth of her mum to comfort her. My youngest two did this for 2-3 weeks after birth and it was a lifesaver in terms of sleep. After that they transferred to cot no probs.

It seems like you'll never find the way when your baby is only 3 days and you've had little sleep - but by this time next week you'll already be an old hand!

This blog on the Fourth Trimester is good and explains what baby is going through after birth and for the next few weeks.