night feeds

[monkeyman01]

hi guys I'm new.
i was hoping for some advice, me and my wife are expecting our first child together, and the topic has come up about night feeds!!! i have managed to convince her to express so i can do some night feeds as i don't want to miss out on the experience. my problem now though is that she wants me to get up every time she feeds to do changes. I'm a tree surgeon ( climber ) and i need my sleep to be able to do my job safely, do you have any suggestions of how to share the work load ??

Well, how about the one who gets up to feed the baby also changes the nappy? Bit pointless you both being up in the middle of the night isn't it?

I wouldn't recommend expressing so you can share night feeds at first though. Leave it a few weeks until supply is established.

Yes, unfortunately the night feeds are important for stimulating milk supply because that's when the prolactin is at its highest level, so it's probably best for her to do them. Maybe if she manages to express you could use it to give the baby its last feed at night so she can go to bed early? That's what we've done quite a lot. Expressing isn't easy though and it can be quite hard to fit it into your day (as it's got to be done at a time when the baby isn't already eating or needing looking after) so it might be a good idea to leave it a few weeks.

I agree that whoever gets up to feed the baby should change them!

You don't need to change the baby every time you feed them at night. It will just wake the baby up even more and you'll have to work harder to get them back down. DS goes all night in 1 nappy and hasn't had a leak or nappy rash so far (both disposables and reusables). Newborns don't have a very big output anyway.

I wouldn't advise expressing in the early days either. In my experience newborns feed and feed and feed so it will be really tricky to find the time to express (I had to to try and up my supply and whenever DS wasn't feeding (rare) he wanted to be held, so very stressful trying to find the time to express!). Also some people can't get much from a pump, especially at first. It takes me all day to pump a 3oz bottle. Others can pump loads though!!

Sharing the workload - DH does bath and bed time if he's back from work on time, which gives me a break. We only started that around 6 weeks though I think. I just let DH sleep through the night as there's not much he can help with at night as I'm breastfeeding. Your wife should learn to feed lying down, I was skeptical at first but it can be very restful.

Congratulations and good luck!!

Unless they've made a massive mess, don't bother changing them. Get Pampers dry nights for night time nappies. We've never changed our DS at night and he's never been bothered or had any nappy rash.

I think asking you to do every single nappy change at night when you have a risky job does sound unreasonable. Personally I think if you're both completely exhausted you are more likely to get irritable, whereas if at least one of you is rested then it's easier to get on with things together. How often nappy changes are needed depends on the baby - mine pooed all the time at first so did need changing at each feed. I wouldn't change a nappy that doesn't have poo in it though. Do you have paternity leave? Maybe you can help more with the nappies during that time?

I did it all the night stuff by myself completely which with hindsight was a bit too far in the other direction, but if we had another one I would try to only ask for help in the evenings or on Friday and Saturday nights when husband isn't at work the next day.

Hi there, I guess you are trying to figure out a routine before baby arrives! When hubs and I brought our daughter home from the hospital we did everything together for the first couple of weeks. We soon realised that if I was feeding her it was pointless him getting up to assist and vice versa. The biggest help to me was on either a Friday or Saturday night when hubs would take over. He'd also take baby out on a Sunday for a few hours for a walk or to see relatives. Some nights he'd give baby a feed before he went to bed and he'd wash lots of dishes and make lots of tea. Having a baby is wonderful but it is exhausting during the first few months (or 12 in my case) so even on nights when you are not getting up you might find you have no choice because when some babies cry they can break the deepest of sleeps!

Looking back I only changed my daughter's nappy at night if she had done a poo.

I intended on breast feeding but it's didn't work out for me much to my disappointment which secretly pleased my husband as we didn't have to rely on me so much. That said, my daughter still prefers me to feed her.

You'll will figure out who does what when the baby is born. Some babies sleep through at an early age and others have the whole house up 4-5 times a night.

Good luck!