Miserable with bf :(

[ihatelego]

Hi I'm currently bfing my 3day old 2nd DS, my first one i managed 6 weeks he had a tongue tie. The latching on is doing great this time round but the milk's come in today and my breasts feel like 2 burning hot masses on my chest, and when he latches on i have a few seconds of awful pain which subsudes during feeding.. any suggestions what i could do to help/what it could be?

I'm applying lanolin a lot and have seen the hv/midwife the last couple of days who have helped but sometimes i wish they'd just come out and admit yes it's hard and yes it's unpleasant rather than all i hear again atm which is either mums who say it's very easy/should never hurt which makes me feel crap or mums who say just give a bottle/what's the point which equally makes me feel crap! i'm expecting it to be hard again but with everything else ongoing pain or some sort of infection will just push me over the edge to going to formula

I was told to wear a supportive bra and stuff cold from the fridge cabbage leaves down it to soothe the engorgement.

Don't forget your hormones will be all over the place too.
Every feed is a plus for your baby, take them one at a time, it does become less painful over time.

You're doing fab!

Didn't want to read and run. Firstly congratulations on your new squish. I'm no expert I'm afraid but it's probably your let down. I used to have a very strong and at times painful let down. I seem to remember cabbage leaves being recommended for engorgement?! I think it's very early days if your milk has only just come in and a huge positive that your DS's latch is good. have a cup of tea and a rest and hopefully someone more knowledgeable will give you some advice.

Don't want to read and run, but yes until you get your supply established it can be hell, not for everyone but some of us struggle.
As long as you are offering milk really often at the moment -

Beggering phone, and hand express if your a bit full, it should get easier soon.

Where is the pain? Is it deep in the breast? In the nipple? Does your dc have any white spots in the mouth?

It's day 3 lovely - it bloody hurts, it's bloody hard but it will get better. Your milk is coming in, your hormones are all over the shop. It sounds like the pain is letdown and the hard molten lumps on your chest are struggling to get used to everything that happening to them. Take heart, eat, drink, rest, cry, snuggle your tiny baby; you're doing a smashing job.

Oh, I had this with DD When she started sucking, it was like someone was driving red-hot needles through my boob, and it lasted for a good long while during each feed. MW was telling me it could be the latch (wasn't - she fed very well!), then she told me it could be thrush (again, it wasn't, but she put me through getting tested).

Then, when she was ready to sign me over to the HV, she said (and it's still something which brings me out in a ), 'why don't you try moving to formula then?' My DP said, when he heard how cavalier she had been about it, 'well, she doesn't care now, she's ticked her boxes about you BFing!'

So I started giving her one bottle a day, just for some relief (she was cluster feeding, too). After about 6 weeks or so, the pain started to diminish and by the time she was about 2 months old (I think, a while ago now, I was BFing like a pro!

So I guess what I'm saying is that you should stick with it if that is what you want, but don't let anyone tell you what is best for you. Only you know how painful it can be and only you know what is best for your family.

But the pain will probably go. I had a friend (who was on her third) tell me that 6 weeks is often how long it takes to get used to the whole malarkey. Seems like a lifetime but, as it's your second, you'll know it's not!

Congratulations first of all. It is a rough few weeks at first isn't it? I bf 3 dc's and I can honestly say it was bloodey excruciating for first 2 weeks each time. Latch, position etc all good. I think it was worth persevering as it is amazing later on for ease of night feeds and not fussing making bottles up etc.
Only you know how you want to go with this, you are in charge.
Be kind to yourself.

Hi OP, it sounds to me like your let down, like others have said.

I FF ds 1 as he wasnt interested at all with bf. I have a 6 month old ds now and he took to bf from the start. Ace but fuck me it hurt! The let down, which I was not prepared for in the slightest, was immense and like needles. It would last for longer than bloody ten seconds (like you read about). I would grit my teeth and latch him and just breath.

It does get better I promise. I dont feel my let down any more.

And yes, I wish people (especially people in the medical profession) would be more honest about how sodding hard bf is and how much it can hurt (for some people).

Congratulations on the new addition to your family.

Congratulations on your little baby.

This is the very worst bit. It gets easier from here. I found it very hard with my dc2 at first (now 16 weeks). But it will improve so quickly.

By tomorrow the engorgement will improve. As other have said don't be afraid to hand express a little.

I also used nipple shields every second feed per nipple to give my nipple a rest while the toughened up. I only needed to do this for two days before there was a vast improvement and it made such a difference.

It really will get a lot easier very very quickly. Well done you are doing so well.

I'm 21 weeks into bf dc2 and yes, it hurt like hell for the the first two and a half weeks. I had no lasting problems with latch, no tongue tie, no thrush or engorgement, but every single feed was agony when she latched on. It got better through the feed but how I dreaded latching! Day three was the worst too.

By 2 and a half weeks the pain got better. By four weeks it was better still. By 8 weeks I had no pain at all.

It will pass. I found it easier to only think as far as the current feed in terms of bearing the pain.

Your breasts are still adjusting to feeding and producing milk and it can be agony for the first few weeks. I found when it settles down and your breasts produces the right amount of milk for your baby feeding becomes much more pleasant. Youre doing really well and agree with others to persevere

My letdown was toecurlingly painful for the first while (weeks? Months? Can't remember). Then all of a sudden I noticed it hadn't been hurting for a while. If you really want to breastfeed then gritting your teeth and riding out the tough start is, imo, worth it for the payoff later, but it is hard and if it isn't something that matters massively and you don't think the payoff is worth it, then formula is an option. Congratulations on your baby and good luck with whatever decision you make.

Aww, 3 days is really early and it sounds like you're doing all the right things. From what I hear most people seem to find it most painful at first - I didn't have any pain at all, which I thought meant I was doing it right but actually it was because baby wasn't feeding properly and wasn't getting much milk out (oops)... It does sound like let down - once we got feeding sorted there would be a weird feeling at the beginning of the feed, over the year I breastfed this varied from just weird tingling to briefly but definitely painful. Often it was most uncomfortable in the opposite side to the one I was feeding from.

Sounds like "electric let down" if it flares then fades. I understand it's let down + hormones = pain.
I had it and it's toe curling but it fades over a week or so. I rang a helpline to check and they said it's normal.

Its completely normal. I am still bfing my 16 month old. I only planned to do 6 weeks but when I got to 6 weeks I realised that actually it was a thousand times easier.

I had a painful let down too. And spent hours looking for reasons as to why. I didn't find any answers or any cures at least. But it just started to fade a bit quicker each feed.

Hang on in there if you want to bf. It will get better I promise. You just have to give it time. And painkillers helped. I had prescribed painkillers as I had a c section and they did make a difference. And lots of Lanisoh.

No one wants to tell you it hurts or how difficult it is. I found though that those first 6 weeks hard work and teeth gritting have paid off with the benefits later on. Particularly now I have a toddler. There is nothing much that boob doesn't mend.

You can get an intensese letdown feeling to start with. But also sometimes babies don't get an optimum latch straight away and sort of such the nipple in a bit too start with which can also cause some pain. This often passes as baby gets bigger and they are able to open there mouth wider. But with help they can also learn to do a better job from early on making it a bit more comfortable for you.

you're always going to get discomfort when your milk first comes in. But optimizing babies latch can really help. I'd start with a phone call to one of the helplines. National breastfeeding helpline, breastfeeding network or NCT.

I was given the advice that it should fad after a minute of feeding and feel less painful overall after a week - if you notice this isn't happening it might be a latch issue, if it is its hormones/sensitive nipple and will resolve.

thank you so much for your replies everyone, feeling much more positive today, the let down makes sense and i've also been taken by surprise at the volume of milk that's come in so quick! i've flooded poor baby a few times today and drenched through lots of pads! glad to hear it's normal and other people are going through it/gone through it as my first dc was so different.

Will keep at it, these forums are invaluable as out of all the mums i know and have met recently only 2 are bfing/have bf so it can be a bit disheartening but thank you again for all your support

bringbackcabin baby has no white spots and the pain when he attaches is behind the nipple in the breast and then red hot all over but that's when i've been really engorged.

Congratulations! It all sounds normal to me too. The midwives in hospital told me day 2 night can be terrible, maybe your baby is having a slightly delayed day 2. My baby was very unsettled and tried to feed constantly often too stressed to latch properly which make her worse. Persevere and it will get better!

So you have breastfeeding clinics at children's centres where you are? Can't recommend them enough. Maybe try and go Monday? Or you could call la leche?

With all three of mine I found the first two weeks bloody agony but then it would pass. Told my midwife and health visitor they should tell every breast feeding mum this so they know it's perfectly normal. It helps you persevere when you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. By the way congratulations on your new addition.

Feckeggblue, totally agree forgot about that second night. Obviously erased it from memory. Again had it with all three.