Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Maybe the $1,000,000 question but is there any way I can guarantee I'll be able to breast feed this time?

100 replies

LadyTophamHatt · 01/11/2006 11:52

Tried and failed with all 3 ds's.
Really REALLY want to succeed this time.

NCT and LLL feels like a minefield to me and seems to cost £££££, which we just haven't got.
I know thats silly because I'd have to pay for formula but it's just added to the weekly shop and not a lump of cash IYSWIM.

So, is tehre any way I can guarantee it'll work this time??

OP posts:

PrincessPeaHead · 01/11/2006 17:40

I remember telling harpsi that I was DETERMINED to breastfeed number four and had bought another couple of books on it from Amazon and she said "ha ha, you are SUCH a lawyer, you think there is no problem that can't be solved by reading a book"

made me laugh then and makes me laugh now! good luck lady topham hatt - I'm sure if you get a good bf counsellor it will work like a dream - and if it doesn't, then to produce a famous film quote..."every so often you just gotta say... what the fuck" xx

TheBlonde · 01/11/2006 17:44

Not read the whole thread sorry, so someone may have already suggested this

Where I live there are various breastfeeding clinics run by the NHS - free to attend - ask your MW for details of any in your area
You can go after baby arrives for help and support

twinklemegan · 01/11/2006 18:11

LTH. Best of luck with whatever you decide. But just to pick up on some of the other posts - I personally think the way b/f is promoted causes many women to give up earlier than they might otherwise. It is always put across as all or nothing. Nipple shields are frowned on to the point that they weren't suggested to me when I was on the verge of giving up due to cracked nipples (one MW finally lent me one and it was a lifesaver). Supplementing with formula is frowned on with the claim that it will lead to the end of breastfeeding. In many cases, like mine, supplementing with formula enables someone to continue with at least some b/f. So it isn't all or nothing IMO, and if this was made clearer without the guilt trips I think more women would at least partially b/f. And surely some breastmilk is better than none at all.

yellowrose · 01/11/2006 18:12

twinkle - I am sooooo sorry I didn't see your apology sooner ! No need for that.

I have just re-read some of the posts and discovered yours. No one is rubbish. BF mothers need help. I know I did, and lots of it.

twinklemegan · 01/11/2006 18:18

No hard feelings then! Hope I haven't offended you again with my latest post but I do feel quite strongly about this issue.

yellowrose · 01/11/2006 18:38

Of course twinkle - people have strong feelings about all sorts of things. These threads get very heated, don't they ? I have only been on MN for a few months and managed to get on every thing that seems to be controversial

I have had a rubbish time with lots of things in my life too. The point is to stay positive no matter what happens

deaconblue · 01/11/2006 19:20

What a heated debate this one has become. HAve read with interest this evening and feel my brain working for the first time since giving birth! LAdytophamhatt, I think you might find the niplette things a real help. I have really flat nipples and used it every day for months during pregnancy (not at the end though as nipple "tweaking" can bring early labour on apparently) I also found using an electric breast pump for just a few seconds before each feed helped to soften up my breasts in the early days when they felt like concrete. Then ds was able to latch on as the pump pulled my nipples out enough. I had the attitude that every day I could feed him would be a bonus, perhaps if you can get your head around that idea you might feel more confident. Good luck

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 01/11/2006 19:21

Blimey...I've got a some reading to do, haven't I??

OP posts:

moondog · 01/11/2006 19:30

Really hope it works out for you this time LTH.

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 02/11/2006 07:20

I've read the whole thread now (too tired last night, sorry) and will call all the BFC numbers today. ALL of them!

I also told DH yesterday that although I originally wanted him to only have afew days off after the birth because I hate being fussed and faffed over (and he's the worst fusser and faffer on planet earth) he is now instructed to take as much time off as possible so that I can dedicate every bit of me to BF this baby. I'll just have to lock myself away from him and all his faffing

I'll also get that bestfeeding book ASAP.

Heres a shocking statement for you all. One of the reasons, and if I'm honest it's quite a big reason, I want to BF so much this time is because I want to feel proud of myslef for doing it rather than embarrassed about getting out a bottle

I know how ridiculous that is but I just can't help it.

OP posts:

twinklemegan · 02/11/2006 12:27

LTH, I completely understand where you're coming from with the embarassment thing. I feel that way too (even if it's a bottle of expressed milk!). It's like I think people are judging me (probably because was inclined to judge other people a bit before I found out for myself how difficult it can be). How much of a hypocrite am I?!!!

AitchTwoOh · 02/11/2006 12:28

i think if Ricki Lake were here (and who know, she may be) she would say "you go, girl". i'd be the grinning idiot behind her going "wooh-wooh-wooh".

AitchTwoOh · 02/11/2006 12:34

twinklemegan, i COMPLETELY could have written what you just did a few months ago. i'll tell you what, that feeling gets better as they get older, partly because it doesn't look so odd ffing a larger baby (it just doesn't, although obviously it still should) and partly because once you get onto the weaning stage you have other things to take up your time (and convince the watching public, who aren't really watching at all in fact) that you are doing your very best. i think that's one of the reasons i do baby-led weaning. okay, so i underachieved in the bfing dept but i'll sure as dammit over-compensate with weaning. and trying to build your child a good attitude to all food will have long-term health benefits.
not being able to BF stings like f* to begin with, but it is far from the only way you can be a good mum. as LTH knows, of course. she just really wants to crack it this time. and next time (if there is one for us), i'm sure we'll try our hardest to crack it too.

MKG · 02/11/2006 13:08

LTH--You shouldn't feel embarassed about anything. Life is too short to feel bad about choices we make and circumstances we have.

oliveoil · 02/11/2006 14:11

LTH

Tsk tsk tsk

I may have to come round and whack you round the face with a wet fish if you come out with anymore drivel like that, embarrassed over a bottle indeed.

You have already produced 3 healthy children am I right? Then I don't see what you have to be ashamed about, bottles didn't do them any harm!

tsk

deaconblue · 02/11/2006 14:14

I agree - that's the trouble with being a mum - instant guilt by the shed load. But being able to breast feed is just one tiny tiny part of being a mum, I think, and whether you can do it or not there's so many other ways of showing your baby how much you love it. I def think getting dh to have some extra time off will really help though especially when you have other children who will need attention.

deaconblue · 02/11/2006 14:15

PLUS getting wrinkled saggy norks out in public used to make me feel a little embarrassed too!!

oliveoil · 02/11/2006 14:16

I breasted and couldn't wait to get the buggers onto bottles for a bit of bloody peace (fed every 2 hours). Then they both refused bottles point blank until 5 months!!!!!!!!!!

I did enjoy it though so it is worth a good go, but not worth agonising over and fretting if not.

terramum · 02/11/2006 14:37

Def dont hide from his faffing LadyT - just put it to good use - he can do all the housework, make meals & snacks, change the nappies & be chief burper whilst you can just concentrate on bfing & getting loads of rest.

There is definately something lovely about having a babymoon for the first couple of weeks - spending loads of time skin to skin with your new baby in bed will definately help the bfing.

yellowrose · 03/11/2006 12:39

LTH - very sensible what you say about getting your DH to take extra time work. My DH took 2 weeks after my son was born.

I don't know what I would have done without him because there was absolutely no one else who could have helped and the ones who could have helped with some things (not with bf unfortunately) would have just driven me potty.

He was also very supportive with bf and even used to help with getting DS latched properly (I had very bad pelvic pain for months and couldn't sit on the sofa, I fed DS lying down until he was 10 months old).

As for public attitudes to bf or ff. Ironically SOME bf mums feel just as paranoid about bf in public. I never felt confident enough in the first few months to take out a rather largish boob in the middle of Brent Cross to feed my son ! I was worried about people gazing and shock horror my son coming off the breast to expose a nipple !

Again this can be prevented and with some practice and good clothing (t-shirts are better than buttoned shirts as you expose less flesh !) you can feed in public very discreetly without ever having to hide in a toilet.

I really cannot see why anyone should be made to feel bad about how they feed in public, bf or ff. The public talk no matter what you do, so let them !

alex8 · 03/11/2006 12:51

sorry to butt in but I wanted to ask tiktok a question. In a previous post you said some fertility drugs compromise breastfeeding. Would clomid be amongst them?

tiktok · 03/11/2006 13:11

Alex - yes, it is clomid. Evidence is anecdotal as far as I can see, but apparently the drug has a long-lasting effect and it has been associated with women finding it very hard to get a supply going...I have no more information than that, really, but people with actual clinical experience of trying to help mothers with previous fertility problems have told me that's what they have found.

Is this relevant to your experience?

alex8 · 03/11/2006 13:49

No its just made me worry! Took 50mg clomid for 2 months then got pregnant. Breastfed my first child but as I had gestational diabetes and he had to go to scbu to be tube fed as sugar levels very low it took a couple of weeks to get bf working properly. I was hoping this time round it would be easier (am 5 months pregnant).

AitchTwoOh · 03/11/2006 13:55

LTH, i meant to say that you should also google for Dr Jack Newman's breastfeeding site. He's a friend of my bf specialist, and despite being a tad egocentric he's very good at what he does. anyway, the good thing about his site is that there are plenty of video clips to look at, so you can kind of get more of a gist of what to look for in a good latch. just another thing that i found too late...

yellowrose · 03/11/2006 17:50

I LOVE Dr Jack Newman !

Flip

1 2 3 4