Reasons why women don't breastfeed

[ohthegoats]

Today's breastfeeding 'news' from Brazil. I finally heard a sensible comment on the story at about lunchtime today - a woman saying that there shouldn't be surveys on whether or not it's a good thing to breastfeed, because everyone knows it is. The research should be into why so many women don't do it, or don't stick with it.

Here are my reasons why I don't like breastfeeding - has anyone got any to add? Or ideas to mitigate the issues?

After being so out of control of your body during pregnancy, being poked and prodded and 'nanny stated' out of your mind, you want control back.

Little help available when you have problems - I know this isn't true for all people.

Having to wear such unflattering underwear in order to be able to get your boobs out easily. Why hasn't this been sorted out? Why so few underwired options that actually work without causing duct blockages? Why so expensive to get even a crappy underwired one?

Having to wear clothes that are mostly unflattering too. I have one reasonable breastfeeding top out of the 10 I have bought - H&M for a tenner in the sale, not been able to find it again. They are all either too plain coloured, too low necked, horrible material, too tight in other places etc etc.

Getting stared at in public for doing it.

Being confined to the sofa for days on end.

Waking up covered in yoghurt for reasons you don't understand.

Boobs squirting milk during sex.

Think that's my starter list.

I'm 5 and a half months into ebf with my baby... plan to start moving away from it at 6 months. I've done it because it's the 'right' thing, but I've mostly hated it.

If I was a formula company I wouldn't praise formula feeding I would spread misinformation about breastfeeding.

Why doesn't the government spend more on breastfeeding support if it would save the NHS money long term? Do they get more from women formula feeding? Like smokers being net contributors because of high tax.

Cherrypi

We have all had enough of the bullying bf brigade to be completely honest with you, and it is quite insulting to say that we are working for ff companies. I am sure you are not intending to be unkind.

I loved ff, I bonded with my baby BECAUSE I did not have to bf any longer. It is the truth, and lots of mothers experience the same. Don't diminish their enjoyment because it is does not support your bf narrative.

I am disappointed that mothers are not more supportive and kind on this thread, motherhood is supposed to bring mothers together, so what is all the judgement about?

If I wasn't "bounced into" my decision, there is no way I would have even considered Breastfeeding my DS.

I dearly wanted to be sat there after delivery feed DS but I had been advised against preparing for any kind of bottle feeding.

Had I owned my own decision, I would have had a far more relaxed first week as opposed to trying to do something that didn't come naturally for me.

I think far more women are "bounced" into Breastfeeding (whether it works or not) than "bounced" out

Cherrypi, adc.bmj.com/content/early/2014/11/12/archdischild-2014-306701.full This recent study calculates the purely economic impact of more women breastfeeding, and more women breastfeeding for longer, looking at the conditions for which we have the most robust evidence of difference (gastro, ear and chest infections in babies, and breast cancer in mothers). So, no, there is no money in 'creating' more formula feeding, and plenty in 'creating' more breastfeeding.

And just to add - I think there is far more to feeding decisions than the economic impact on the health service! Prime mover should be tailor made support for individuals.

I didn't bf DD because trying to bf DS was so crap I didn't want to go down that route again. They both had colostrum and that will have to be good enough.

Cherrypi

The government saves millions of pounds by encouraging bf especially for the working class, because mothers on benefits are entitled to free baby milk. The longer a mother bf for, the happier the government will be because it is saving them a great deal of money.

By the way bf baby still have plenty of eat infections, chest infections as well. It is an illusion to think that your baby will not become ill if it is bf, mine was in hospital 3 times with one of the above, and was entirely bf, it made no difference whatsoever!

Toffee - it's not a good idea to extrapolate from your own personal experience and decide you know what happens in general. I think I said something similar to you last night.

You have absolutely no idea if more women are bounced into breastfeeding than are bounced into formula feeding! You may well have felt pressurised to breastfeed when you did not want to, and struggled as a result - that can never be right.

We do have some evidence to shed light on this. Women are asked about their breastfeeding experiences, and why they stopped, in the Infant Feeding surveys in the UK, carried out independently (so not by women's own HCPs, or even by HCPs, where there might be influence on the answers). There is no evidence women who stopped early wanted to stop or did not want to bf in the first place. The opposite, in fact - nine out of 10 women who stopped by by six weeks did so before they wanted to. The remaining one in 10 had breastfed 'long enough' or stopped 'because I wanted to'....can't remember the exact wording, sorry.

Heartofgold, you have got this a bit wrong, sorry. Healthy Start vouchers are exchangeable for a range of foods, not just formula milk. So not using formula milk but exchanging the vouchers for other foods would make no difference to the cost to the government - the retailers/manufacturers would still be reimbursed.

The savings to the state if more women bf or bf for longer comes in savings to the health service, according to the paper I linked to before.

Of course, if pressurising reluctant women into breastfeeding then increased the strain on the mental health services, you'd have to do the sums that way, too.

People seem very often to speak highly of their own feeding choice whilst also (either accidentally or sometimes deliberately) doing down and being scornful of others' choices. Then unsurprisingly people are upset by their choices being denigrated. Then the discussion becomes a squabble.

I wish that there could be more structured and neutral infant feeding support post-natally for all women, that's easily accessible.

So many women who plan to breast feed are anxious because they feel they are being judged (not by other mums) for doing it in public.

And women who formula feed are anxious because they feel they are being judged (by other mums) for not breast feeding.

Brilliant.

And people wonder why parenting seems to have become such a stressful and, for many women, depressing experience...

Reading through all this I'm so glad I couldn't breastfeed (due to breast surgery gone wrong...). I have to say though that if I could have done it, I probably would have.

Tiktok, speaking of good/bad science you offered to share the sources you were referencing last night. I'm still keen to see them - can you share links, please?

Sorry I'm derailing the thread. I wasn't intending to accuse people but I can see how it could be read as that.

Exactly tiktok so why don't governments spend more on support? Is it misogyny or does someone's brother in law work for cow and gate?

I think this whole issue boils down to inadequate information and support. Breastfeeding difficulties need to be discussed with why they occur and solutions. Something in the current system is not working and there seem to be loads of hurt women out there.

Elsa, the experiences of breastfeeding described on this thread are not inevitably the experience of all women who breastfeed. It is possible for it to be straightforward and to not encounter any problems, or only minor problems that can be quickly solved. I have no idea of the stats here, but I would imagine it's probably the majority of women who find it straightforward or only have minor problems.

Sorry to go sideways, but on a racist thread i was told that even if your intent wasn't to be racist just using a racist word made you a racist. So even if your intent isn't to be dismissive and patronising but a few people on a thread agree you sounded rude and dismissive does that make you rude and dismissive?

Jassy, will get the links shortly :)

You can discuss it all you like.

What is there to discuss with me, PP cousin and anyone else that feels the same and I've met plenty .

I do not feel comfortable with any human sucking on my Breast. You can't change that. I know what they're made for, there purpose, it does not make a difference. What you planning on doing sticking us in counselling? Some people just don't want to do it, shock horror. I don't work for Aptimal either.

Why don't people spend more time supporting mothers who formula feed and breast feed? Cause I can tell you now the last thing I ever wanted when my DS was 2 days old is some old BF 'support midwife' to grab my boob and shove It in his mouth. I made it very clear I would be expressing, even did It in the hospital with no issues. But I was told that I would 'learn to live with it' like hell would I and it was hell and he was de-latched as soon as she left and it's the only time he's gone near my boob.

Women should have the CONFIDENCE and POWER to choose what is right feeding method for them (without having to make excuses!). The bullying into bf has to stop RIGHT NOW and thank you so much to Claira, who hit the nail on the head with her excellent post.

If you want to bf, great, give it your best shot if you WANT to, but if you don't like it, hate it, can't do it for whatever reason, or feel it is ruining your mothering experience. Ditch it happily and confidently and do not feel guilt in any way. Billions of people in the world for decades, decades, decades have been ff, this is not new! And they are healthy, vibrant, happy and successful people. Bf is not a fast track to a more intelligent human being ~ it is really is not!

It might be a fast track to pushing some women under too much pressure over the edge. It has really got to stop. It is negative and dangerous, it is taking away the beauty and enjoyment of motherhood by placing so much pressure on one small area of a child's development.

If some of the women on here put their immense energy into making this country more equal, and empowered women instead of stripping back their choices, our country would be leading the world by now on equality.

Instead we are languishing on here judging and pressurising. It is a DISGRACE.

The suffragettes would be turning in their graves listening to this thread of conversation!!!

To all mothers out there, your body, your baby, your life. Enjoy every moment of being a new mother.

I don't know if that's true culture because so many people give up. I think most people must encounter problems. Rarely people on here say I wanted to breastfeed it was fine but I decided to give up.

Cherry - if you look at the study Tiktok linked to, the immediate economic case for increasing whole-of-population breastfeeding rates is pretty marginal in NHS spending terms - I suspect it would cost a lot more than £5m a year to increase BFing levels to the proportion the study projects, given the woeful current support. The proportionally bigger savings seem to come from improving targeted support to neonatal units - more than half the projected savings were from increased breastfeeding on those units.

The bigger returns come from savings in decreased rates of breast cancer. I can never figure out why the NHS and breastfeeding campaigners don't make more of this - perhaps it doesn't fit the Madonna/sacrifice narrative of 'best for baby' to major on the fact that by far the biggest health benefit from breastfeeding is for the mother.

I'm not denying that breast milk is best for babies - but I do think the benefits are often overplayed to a level that actively damages the effort to get more women breastfeeding. I think all breastfeeding promotion campains could do with a big overhaul based in decent behavioural psychology, because there's plenty wrong with current approaches.

I did't bf dd1, lack of support, negative judgement from family, no idea what to do.

Dd2, bf for 7 weeks, she was loosing weight, hv just said give her a bottle if shes hungry again, lack of support, and negative family

Dd3 breastfed until she was 2. Supportive doula, nc with family, read up on it, staff more clued up and promote bf now, was determined.

Ds1, bf for 6 months then weaned. Diagnosed with illness before having him and didn't want risk aggravating it.

Claira I'm also interested to see that some people have assumed those of us seeing "both sides" must be ff or even work for them.

Many of the posts (including the op and mine) clearly state they're BFIng or did to 6 months or more.

Seeing problems from hindsight should not be a source of guilt either.

We also need far more research into formula - the make up of formula and also hygiene/storage etc. Given a huge number of babies will be ff at some point, we need to ensure they are getting the best quality formula as possible. Not condemning them to whatever formula companies can hand out because their mothers can't breastfeed. Otherwise, we are saying their wellbeing isn't as important as breastfed babies.