HELP!!! BFing 6 day old baby, no sleep!

[MrsTittleMouse]

DD was born on Monday, and I've breastfed her as her only source of food. Since my milk came in on Thursday, she's been feeding loads. It has the advantage that I haven't had hard boobs, so I've always been able to latch, but I'm exhausted.
She feeds constantly in the evening, and gets really upset and unsettled from about 10pm until 1am. She screams and won't be calmed, even though she surely can't be hungry when I've been feeding her constantly since 7pm? MIL and SIL have suggested a bottle of formula in the evening to fill her up, but I really hate the idea of using a bottle when she's so little. She still doesn't really like the idea of having to "work" for my milk, and we have to nudge her through the feeds to get her to suck properly again, as she'll slip into fast gentle "comfort sucking" instead of proper "drinking sucking". I think that a bottle will make that problem worse.
I'm really struggling though. Does anyone have any ideas to calm her down? Is she getting enough food? She does produce lots of wet nappies and a couple of dirty nappies a day, so there's plenty coming out of the other end.
Please help!

[DetentionGrrrl]

If she's latching on this much, and there's no problem with nappies, i'd say she's fine (although you may not be!) I tried giving a formula bottle at night, and it made no difference to be honest, although maybe it will for your daughter. My son seemed constantly attached aswell, but now he's settle into a nice routine and it's much easier. And on the bright side, think how much goodness she's getting from you being such a good mother

[belgo]

The simplest question first: you are producing enough milk. Lots of babies are unsettled between 10pm and 1am, mine included, they used to drink constantly, and be impossible, I used to lie on my bed with my baby next to me, and bf her almost constantly, half sleeping in between. As for giving her a bottle - people seem to think that that is the answer for everything - but it's not. If you're not happy about giving her a bottle, then don't. It's unlikely to suddenly solve the situation. I promise you things will get better, and try and get rest. You're mil and sil will do better to help you with the housework and getting your food ready, and letting you get as much rest as possible to help you recover from the birth.

[belgo]

Oh and congratulations on the birth!

[MadamePlatypus]

It really sounds as though she is getting plenty of food. You sound as though you are doing a great job. I don't think the unsettledness is to do with being hungry, so I don't think the formula would make any difference to be honest. Congratulations on your new baby - it can be really tough at the beginning (although some people have easy babies for the first couple of weeks - ignore them), but you will get through it.

[motherinferior]

Oh honey, this bit is tough, isn't it. Ignore the formula advice - she's clearly not hungry. Hang on in there; you and she have to get used to the fact she's living outside you, not inside. It is tiring. It does get better, it really does.

[belgo]

Mrs TM: Just seen your post on the childbrith thread, and let me say you're doing incredibly well considering the circumstances. Coping with a new baby and bf after a traumatic birth is such hard work and you're doing so well. Added to that just six days after childbirth and your hormones will be all over the place, as well as the physical exhaustion. Give yourself time to recover.

[SoupDragon]

This all sounds perfectly normal (unfortunately!) Have you tried feeding her lying down in bed? This is a skill well worth learning. I could feed DD and kind of doze gently whilst she did the same and fed.

The "give her a bottle of formula" advice you can ignore (unless you want to give it). It annoys me so much when people immediately suggest this when there is nothing wrong with how your baby is feeding - she's 6 days old and has a tiny stomach. These early days (weeks) are tough. You're both getting the hang of breastfeeding and each other.

Isn't the evening/night prime time for colic? How well does she burp?

[SoupDragon]

In fact, go to bed now with your baby and stay there. Don't get up for anything bar the toilet.

[SoupDragon]

Maybe try her in a pouch sling (coorie) to keep her settled during the day so she's not comfort sucking? Anyone can carry her in this and she may love the closeness and warm snuggliness of it giving you a chance for a nap.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Wow! Thank you for all the responses. She does love to sleep on people during the day. I was a bit concerned about this though because I do want her to learn how to fall asleep by herself - and she does seem to be getting the hang of it gradually. (should point out here that I don't leave her if she's distressed, I think that she's far too young to be manipulative and that she needs her Mum)
Also, I phoned the MWs at the hospital, and they wondered whether she was going for too long during the day (ie asleep on someone and not feeding), leading to a deficit that she would make up in the night. So now I'm making sure that she feeds more in the day.
DH was just commenting this morning that EVERYONE has loads of advice for us, but no-one is telling us that we're doing a good job, it's all given in the "you should be..." style.
I gather that's fairly normal though. Except on MN.

[MrsTittleMouse]

SIL suggested that maybe she has colic (SIL is a nurse and has a DS under a year), so now we're trying colic medication. Can't hurt I suppose and we're willing to give most things a go!

[mammaduck]

All advice so far spot on - the first few days are really tough and what you've described sounds totally normal.

Remember a newborn's stomach is the size of a walnut - that's why they feed so frequently because they can't take much at time (about 2tsps worth).

As they grow and the stomach grows it can take more.

Definitely get into the 'feeding lying down' position as much as possible. It's much more bearable and you might even get some sleep!

[mammaduck]

PS You do want them to fall asleep by themselves eventually, but not at 6 days. It's not even worth trying anything like that till at least 3 months, and even then they might not crack it for a while.

My DS didn't fall asleep by himself until he was 8 months old!

[liquidclocks]

Hi - I've been through this stage really recently (DS2 is 3 weeks) and just want to say you're doing great! Hang in there and it really does get so much better really quickly. For me with both DS's it's been the 5-10 days period that's been the hardest - they're getting a bit more wakeful, a bit more hungry but you're still recovering from the birth and sleep deprivation really starts to take it's toll. Also btw DS1 was FF and DS2 is BF and it makes no difference.

My 2 main strategies have been 1) between 7am and 11pm if they haven't fed for 3 hours (start of feed to start of feed) then wake them up and encourage them to eat and 2) give baby to DH all wrapped up in car seat or pushchair straight after goo feed and tell him to take baby out - the motion will generally keep them asleep and you use the time to SLEEP! Also around this age I tried to do all 'night' feeds in semi darkness to try and get them started learning about day and night, seems to have worked both times though some babies just don't get it for a while and that's normal too.

Good luck - you really are doing well

[wrinklytum]

Hi there.Would reiterate what others have said.Give yourself a pat on the back you are doing fabulously well.It is extremely tiring.At this stage I would just concentrate on feeding your baby,get your dp/dh to pamper you and stay in bed with little un and sleep when they do.At this stage all they seem to do is feed,sleep,cry and poo!!!

If your mil and sil are concerned then tell them the most helpful thing they can do is come round,clean your house,wash,iron and produce a few meals

Your body will provide your baby with enough milk,they are just very hungry at this point!!!

Make sure you drink plenty of fluids,and eat when you can to keep your strength up.

Congratulations on your baby.It is a very tiring time but it does get better eventually,honestly!

[Swizzler]

Not much advice, but DS exactly the same at 2 weeks re fussing at night. At first, he wouldn't sleep unless he was held, then slept in bed with us and for the last few days has been happy sleeping in his crib ( tho waking every 2 hrs for a feed). He seems to be getting better at settling every day, so it does get easier

[Swizzler]

Oh, and nap thro the day whenever you have the chance.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Thank you for all the advice and support.
OK, the plan is that as this is normal and there's not much that we can do about it, I'll stay up with her until 1am, watching naff TV, snacking and feeding her constantly. Then I can go to bed, and in the day I'll get everyone else to look after her and have extra naps.
She DID have 2 sessions of 3 hours sleep each last night, so if she can do that again, that would be brilliant.

[PrettyCandles]

I'm in the same position as you, ds2 is 7 days old, constantly feeeding, likes to sleep on people during the day and a real mare between 11pm-1am.

It's not colic. Don't bother with colic remedies, they won't help. So far (and dredging by sleep-deprived brain for memories of how my othe=r babies were) the best solution I have found is to make sure that he gets a good feed every 2h or so during the day, particularly from about 5pm on, and that he naps between feeds, particularly from 5pm on.

I think that what happens is that as the day progresses he gets more and more tired, so he falls asleep during feeds, so he doesn't take enough to keepgoing,so he gets too hungry to nap well, so he gets overtired...visciuos circle.

Every evening that I have managed to get him to nap well from suppertime on, he has fed well, and the 11-1 period has not been quitte so fraught. He also managed to go 3h between feeds on those nights (ah, blissful sleep, shame aboyut 6yo ds1 who needed me at 4.30am! ).

I'm bed-sharing, no pj top and ds2 in only his nappy. I don't know wherther this helps, but it's very nice!

BTW, you're doing well .

[yellowrose]

MTM - it DOES get easier ! He is very very small and needs to be fed on demand. Most of us first time bf-ers think that babies just want food, they don't, if they are unsettled it can be for 101 reasons, which doesn't make life easier for a bf mum, but at least it's the truth

Please don't listen to well-meaning people who say "formula" at the drop of a hat. It never solved the world's problems and it never will ! If anything, ff babies can be more unsettled as they are not being fed as nature intended, don't get the same sort of physical contact with mum, get tummy upsets, may get allergies, etc...

If you haven't had a chance to read kellymom.com so far please do so. It gives lots of advice about baby's first few weeks.

The only things that will help you cope are: get as much rest as possible (i.e get well-meaning husband/partner and family to help with cleaning, cooking, changing nappy, and very importantly HOLDING baby, may be in a sling. When I couldn't settle my DS even after lots of bf (he was very unsettled for first few weeks) I would just hand him over to DH who would put him on his shoulder (tummy down) nad just walk around the living room with him for ages !

Another tip, try to feed lying down. It is hard at first, but may be someone can help you to position the baby next to you the first few times. I did this for nearly 10 months as I had very bad pelvic pain and couldn't sit down comfortably. It helps you get a lot more rest and eventually you may even be able to nap. Please just make sure baby is in a safe place and can't roll off the bed.

Good luck !

[Thinkstoomuch]

A week ago she was inside you. I think it's easy to forget what a huge upheaval the whole thing must be for them. I'd say don't even think about routines and falling asleep on her own at this stage.
If I were a baby that age I'd want to be snuggled up to mum in bed, skin to skin, near your heartbeat, nice and warm with booby right there!

[munz]

nothin really new to add - but both M

[MrsTittleMouse]

Feeding lying down: which boob does she use, the top or the bottom???
Bit worried about cot death to let her co-sleep, especially after the not-breathing episode when she first fed in hospital. We have had the moses basket on the bed though, which is handy, because I don't have to get up.

[PrettyCandles]

I find that I can feed from either boob without rolling over. The lower boob is easier, but for the top boob I prop myself up with extra pillos under my neck and lean over the baby, who usually ends up almost on his back. Lower boob he is on his side.

[Katiebel]

Hi Mrs Tittlemouse

Aren't you a star - well done & hang in there, this really is the hardest bit.

Your midwife will be able to show you how to feed lying down & give you some tips if you're afraid of falling asleep I'm sure

No need to worry yet about baby sleeping on you in day - just enjoy the cuddle & sit down if you can. Up to 3 months this is fine