HELP!!! BFing 6 day old baby, no sleep!

[MrsTittleMouse]

DD was born on Monday, and I've breastfed her as her only source of food. Since my milk came in on Thursday, she's been feeding loads. It has the advantage that I haven't had hard boobs, so I've always been able to latch, but I'm exhausted.
She feeds constantly in the evening, and gets really upset and unsettled from about 10pm until 1am. She screams and won't be calmed, even though she surely can't be hungry when I've been feeding her constantly since 7pm? MIL and SIL have suggested a bottle of formula in the evening to fill her up, but I really hate the idea of using a bottle when she's so little. She still doesn't really like the idea of having to "work" for my milk, and we have to nudge her through the feeds to get her to suck properly again, as she'll slip into fast gentle "comfort sucking" instead of proper "drinking sucking". I think that a bottle will make that problem worse.
I'm really struggling though. Does anyone have any ideas to calm her down? Is she getting enough food? She does produce lots of wet nappies and a couple of dirty nappies a day, so there's plenty coming out of the other end.
Please help!

[yellowrose]

With a newborn and large boobs I found it easiest to feed with the boob on the bed, so if lying on LEFT side, then use the left boob and on the RIGHT use the right boob. What you do is you put baby with his tummy toward yours on his side, you hold his back with the arm on top (so if lying on your left, your left arm is used to prop you up and the right arm is used to get him latched and then once latched to hold his back.

Use pillows under the arm to prop your arm or head. I always got DH to put the pillows under my head and to help position my son next to me. Gosh I am sure I am making this much more complicated than it sounds !! It is actually quite easy, just needs practice !

What we did with our double bed: make sure one side of the bed was against the wall, and the other side we had baby's cot firmly in place, he was closed off on both sides and couldn't fall off.

There are these special cots with the one side down so you can put baby right next to your bed, but roll him back into his own cot once he falls asleep, but not sure where you can buy these.

The other thing (I wish someone had told me !!), newborns love being rocked to sleep ! If you can get something to rock him in, it is a great way to settle them.

If I had another baby, first thing I would buy would be one of those rocking cots or some kind of baby hammock ! I also used my baby car seat a lot for rocking baby in. Once he was asleep we would lift him and put him into his cot. Car seats are a funny shape, so not very good for baby's back if you leave them in there for many hours.

As for sleeping on top of you, in fact this was something I loved ! He would sleep on my tummy or DH's tummy during the day. I would lie down on the sofa (I never ever fall asleep during the day, so no danger of cot death) with the remote and watch TV or read a book for 2 hours at a time while he slept on top of me. It is a good time to relax. Again, if you are likely to fall asleep like this, perhaps lying on the sofa is not a good idea.

They usually recommend against lying down with a baby on the sofa, but in my case there was no chance in hell that I would fall asleep as I am a very light sleeper, so I did it any way as I was in full control of baby and myself !

Another method, put a futton or another kind of mattress down on the floor in your bedroom or living room, with a TV nearby That way the baby is on the floor when you lie next to him and he is safe. This method really worked for us too.

MTM - do you have a bf adviser near you ? If you tell me whereabouts you are I can give you the no. for La Leche League or their national helpline no - the leader at LLL or any of the mothers with more experience will be able to show you how to feed lying down.

[yellowrose]

So sorry for exeedingly long post !

[tiktok]

Just to say what others have said - none of what you are describing is unusual, or wrong, or starting bad habits. Everything you have said is good, and shows she is behaving a way that communicates well with you and stimulates a good milk supply.

Your MIL and SIL should not have a view on any of this, as their suggestions so far show they have no real understanding of breastfeeding at all....nurses do not get trained in breastfeeding support, but that has not stopped your SIL from throwing in her two pennorth

Don't try to distinguish between 'real' sucking and 'comfort' sucking - in a healthy thriving baby both are just fine!

As Thinks says, a week ago she was inside you. She's going to need time to adjust to life outside! Going with the flow and not analysing too much will help a lot

[MrsTittleMouse]

Thank you again for all the comments.
I was looking at our bed last night, and there are gaps between it and the wall on 3 sides, so not great to co-sleep. I think I'd be too worried anyway to be honest.
However, last night I was able to go with the flow and just let her feed when she wanted without stressing that I was doing something wrong, or thinking that there was anything else we could do about it. So even though she fed constantly from 12 to 3, I felt much better and DH was able to get a good night's sleep.
The MW came today and we were able to discuss the issues. I'll definitely try feeding her while lying down tonight. Especially as the stitches were really hurting last night and sitting upright was not fun!
We have a Moses basket, and I think that if things continue, I might buy a rocking base for it too. I've been rocking her during the day today, and she's really loving it, but she gets heavy quickly!
Anyway, to stop wiffling on, I'm feeling much more positive and much keener to keep on BFing.

[DetentionGrrrl]

The breastfeeding gets REALLY rewarding after the initial shock / pain/ tiredness. I wouldn't swop it for the world- hope it all goes well for the three of you.

[Judy1234]

That's normal. I am so glad neither set of parents were around (although I'm sure they are very pro breastfeeding anyway) because I think you need to be able to get used to your own baby alone. My mother specifically said she'd ensure that period of keeping away but I know some women love their mothers around so it's a very personal decision.

One of ours cried for 3 months like that. Had I had her now I would have taken her to a cranial osteopath just to try it in case a skull massage helped. A bottle is not the answer. I think some babies just like and need to suck as much as that. If you need a break from it, and no reason you shouldn't, then feed her and go out or sleep for an hour and have someone else hold her even if they have to drive for 20 miles in the car with her crying in the back just to sooth her. It won't do her any harm and you'll feel better when they get back.

[munz]

ah u have big boobs- missed that one, during the day I chose the rugby hold (ask your M/W but basically it's pillow out baby laying down along side your side head under boob) for me no pain.

also if she's heavy rocking by day have a sit down with her rest your arm on a pillow and then gently rock your arm towards you.

most important thing with BF u can remember if nothing else - loads and loads of cream pads and relax - I know how hard that is when it's hurting but honestly I loved those night feeds at that age - the whole being the only one who could do it, and the u and baby time it's really invaluable (least I thought it was) also after each feed, I found quick was/rise of the boobs with a flannel apply lots of cream and fresh pads for each feed - costs a fortune but least my boobs weren't sore which for me was an important thing in carryin on. just relax rela xrelax and also advice I was given on here, do what baby needs for you both to sleep then work out any problems later on once baby's older more settled and you have gotten over the inital exhaustion they call labour!