Help me not get in a feeding/sleeping mess this time...?

[freelancegirl]

Posting from hospital after having a beautiful little boy yesterday by cs. I had a cs for DS1 in July 2012. Being a paranoid first time mum I ended up starting mix feeding in hospital as I was so worried ds1 wasn't getting anything. He did lose over 10% of his body weight in first month. I mix fed for a few months, about half and half, and then 'ebf' if you can call it that when it got a lot easier after starting to introduce solids.

Ds1 was always very hungry and would cluster feed all evening and not be put down. We ended up in a co-sleeping mess with him only feeding to sleep and sometimes this could be every half an hour to hour for up to ten times a night (was happy to co sleep but just not the constant feeding). Eventually at around 11 months I cracked and got a sleep trainer consultant.

We managed to stop feeding to sleep and get him in his cot in his own room. It was great! But a few months later illness, teething, co sleeping on holidays saw me crashing out with him every night (albeit now sharing a single mattress on his floor) and him needing me to go to sleep at every wake up, just with cuddles not feeding after we gave up bf at 13m.

A top up session with the sleep expert finally seems to have fixed things and he can now be tucked in and go to sleep! This happened 2 weeks before I gave birth to the next one. He still wakes at least once but can be quickly resettled.

Anyway so I was hoping I could learn from some of my mistakes and I think it was issues with feeding that led to this being that he was never satisfied. The books used to say wake him to feed around every 2 then later 3 hours in the day but he was never bloody asleep that long. I know that it's only been night 1 with the newborn but his insistence on spending 4 hours from 1sm until 5am wanting to feed constantly put the fear in me last night. I want to ebf properly this time, hopefully build up a good supply so this baby isn't always chomping at the bit as it were. Any advice on how to do this and how to maybe make sure/try to feed regularly throughout the day so that he is more tanked up over night?

Sorry - it's really long - will be grateful if anyone has stayed with me!

Congrats on your new baby!

Doesn't sound as if you need be anxious at all at this stage. Your baby is doing what newborns should do - feeding well and a lot, which is a fab start. Your baby does this to make the emotional connection with you, to maintain hydration, to keep his body temp normal, to stay feeling safe and secure on 'the outside' and to signal to your body to make lots of milk.

Getting bf established and comfortable is THE priority in the early days. Getting a sleeping/feeding routine underway as early as this can spell 'goodbye' to happy bf. You do best to follow your baby's cues while he is still new, and later you can nudge him into the sort of pattern that suits your family best.

While you are in hospital, perhaps ask to speak to the infant feeding midwife about your previous experience and your hopes for later. Sometimes, anxieties and memories from last time round have too big an impact on the next experience. You are not sure what happened last time and whether what you did 'made' your baby the way he was, or if it would have happened like that anyway.

Whatever. This time, for the moment, just follow his cues and have the usual checks to see he's feeding well - yellow poos by day three to four, wet nappies several times over every day, normal weight loss in first few days.

Good luck :)

I have a 5 and a half week old. I don't sleep at night! She feeds a lot and wants to be held so falls asleep on me and will not be put down. That's just the way it is and I hope it improves.

Thanks tiktok, I remember you were around last time for advice too! Very helpful. I will just go with the flow for the early weeks and then try to find some pattern. The sleep thing is just so hard though - especially when you see other babies STTN and yours is still waking ten times a night at a year old. But you are right about trying to remain relaxed. He was born yesterday at 10.20am and hasn't passed any meconium yet. Am off to look that up.

Sleepy, that was me too although DS actually slept a few hours a night until 4 months when he regressed completely and never really went back!

I think it is probably actually going well this time in terms of feeding. Night 4 last night (first at home) and my milk is definitely in. He's still having meconium poo but will hopefully go yellow soon. He wants to feed more or less from 1am until 5am though. He's also been bringing back milk up, something which I am unsure how to handle as my oldest never did that. I feel so tired I could vomit. He's sleeping on Dh's chest now but it doesn't help me as I'm looking after the toddler!

Congratulations freelance! I'm so happy to hear that your second little boy is here safely.

Hello euro! Thanks for that, hope it's all going well for you too. Day four now and thankfully feeding seems a lot easier second time round. Sleep, we have yet to see but it's all a lot less anxiety provoking - albeit a bit busier with a toddler around! Going to try for number two too...? I know it's irritating being asked that by 'normal' people but hope I can get away with it being that I know what you've been through.