Drinking and breastfeeding

[Quootiepie]

Hiya...
Ive had a few and am BFing... what should I do?

no - He gets tired and I feel awful if I made him do nights feeds. Hes asleep in the armchair now...

i have told him, and he gets upset, which upsets me and I talk him round. Hes close to leaving aswell because we bicker (not argue) alot... and now I want to meet my ex, and hes not sure he wants to be aken for a mug really. Im at the stage I think ill just go with the flow...

pinktulips - your in Ireland!

harsh question but do you even really want to be with him anymore?

from what you've said here and on your other thread you sound like you really want out?

feel free to tell me to f-off if i'm wrong

yup galway.... seem to be saying that alot tonight!

You should not feel bad, you have lo all day, we all need a break, it does not make us a bad mother.
Have you talked to him about how you are feeling? been totally honest?
I have found things really hard since sopping work, i was always waiting for dh to sort my life out for me, but realised only i can do it.

sometimes I love him so so much... and we do get on great. Sometimes I HATE him for the past... and I feel sometimes the only way I can stop myself thinking about it 24/7 is move on... When we get almost to breaking point, we both just realise we love eacother so so much, and hes so kind and sorry for the past... sometimes hes a git! Maybe I should settle for my lot?

My family is from Tyrone/Fermanagh

you need to decide if you can let the past go, he did what he did, lets move on kind of thing.
Me and dh very nearly spilt before getting married, my mum said to me that if we had any chance i had to forgive even if i never forgot. We spent hour talking, a lot of tears, then dh wrote down what had happend, how he felt and that kind of thing and then put it in a box. That way i knew it was always there, but did not feel like i had to think about it.

do you think you could convince him to go to councelling with you?

for what its worth i know what you mean about reaching breaking point and realising you want to be together, dp and i are like that.

do you think you can ever forgive him? because if not its going to keep eating away at your relationship.

( so your almost irish)

sould say hour talking (well all night)

im a dweller and DH keeps doing "prickish" things... I can forgive but I cant forget... and not sure I can cope iyswim.

if you still are sure you love him i would just say that the hurt over the abortion wont go away because you are not together - please think about getting some help. you have a young baby which will inevitably mean that your emotions are all stirred up. I am sure there can be light at the end of the tunnel - my dh and I nearly divorced 10 years ago - but if you both have the will to be together you can work throuhg some really bad times

dont know... As I said... i wont brush it aside. It effects me too deeply

(I guess so! Always semi classed myself as semi Irish... parents being brought up there etc.)

Thats men!
dh stayed at work drinking till 3am(he is a chef and friends of our were eating that night), not even a phone call to say dont wait up.

I fainted one day while pg, dh went out that night to a works do and left me feeling upset and worried.

men

i have cousins over in england who class themselves as irish through and through even though they were born there so if they are you are!

i would suggest waiting to see how you feel after you finish bf-ing before taking major action tbh, pregnancy and bf-ing affect your hormones and are proably amplifying the guilt you feel and the anger you have towards dh. you may find it easier to forgive and forget when the hormones have settled a bit.

i like littlepiggies idea of getting him to write down how he feels and that he understands how he made you feel and how sorry he is, that way when you're dwelling on it you can take it out and read it and hear what you need to hear without having to stir up an arguement

other that the abortion has he done anything else worth giving him a kick for? (other than been a man)

Maybe Ill just go with the flow... Ill meet ex tomorrow and either get with him or punch him... and ill let DH decide the fate of our marriage... im too weary.

Dh cheated on me, i still think about it, and it still hurts like hell, but i will never be able to change it, and i will not let it ruin my like.

well...after the abortion he left me. The very next day. I was bleeding for four weeks, he refused to take me to A & E, then he gave in. Went for scan alone, spend day in hospital alone, he turned upfor D & C. Took 4 months of "giving him space" being a puppet on a string before he gpt back woth me.... and theres more..

Dont do it quootiepie, he might just leave, and if its not what you realy want its not worth it.

and quootie, he sounds quite selfish. what the hell did he need space for?

you say you love him.... do you like him? as a person i mean? is he a good dad?

when hes himself hes great... but he has a tendancy to copy people... he was awful for copying his dad. When he comes from a friends who is a great bloke, hes great... when he sees a friend whos "tough" and "doesnt give a f*ck", nor does he. He can be great and a brill dad...