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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Drinking and breastfeeding

98 replies

Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 22:15

Hiya...
Ive had a few and am BFing... what should I do?

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Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 22:58

Guess im feeling depressed. About alot of things... if it wasnt for DS Ive thought about turning to drink... although tonight I have started. I hear it dulls the pain.

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Lizzylou · 21/09/2006 22:59

Why are you feeling depressed?

Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:00

Marriage is going abit tits up, feel a bad mother, and am not coping after an abortion - nearly 2 years ago. DH is currently playing the playstation which is making me feel lovely.

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Lizzylou · 21/09/2006 23:01

Have you spoken to your DH about it?

PinkTulips · 21/09/2006 23:04

drink doesn't dull the pain quootie, it makes it worse.

have you tried talking to dh? does he know how you feel about your marraige at the minute or does he think everything is fine?

Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:04

yep. Things just arent... running smoothly. Im seeing my ex boyfriend tomorrow... thats how downhill im going!

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hunkermunker · 21/09/2006 23:05

Oh, sweetheart

Go to bed, sleep it off, then come and start a thread in the morning for support x x x x

Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:06

DH knows things are bad - mainly because of him. Ive iven up the fight and am spiralling abit downwards.

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littlepiggie · 21/09/2006 23:08

Whats he done? men can be a complete waste of space sometimes, well alot of the time.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:10

see the abortion bit. I guess it all stems from that. I cant get over it. That and leaving me the next day. Im very forgiving.

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littlepiggie · 21/09/2006 23:12

Think i remember reading it, the way i see it is that things happen for a reason, if you had not done what was right for you at the time, you would not have your lo now.

littlepiggie · 21/09/2006 23:14

But any man that can leave you to go through it in on your own should have his bs chopped off!

PinkTulips · 21/09/2006 23:15

quootiepie.

go to bed, sleep it off and evaluate tomorrow whether you want to be with him or not and go from there.

don't meet your ex, you don't want it on your conscience that you ended it by having an affair (and it sounds like your looking for something to happen with him) you're only 20, plenty of time to try again with ex if things don't work out but you owe it to yourself and ds to at least try

tortoise · 21/09/2006 23:19

Good advice from PinkTulips.

(((Hugs Q)))

justamum · 21/09/2006 23:26

Quootiepie, don't want to defend your dh but men react very oddly to news like a surprise pregnancy. My DH, who loves DS desperately, was horrified when I fell pg and his immediate reaction was that I should have an abortion. He now says that his reaction is still the thing he is most ashamed of in the world, and he has more than made up for it a million times over. I know its not the same but your DH may well be very ashamed of himself but too proud/ embarrased to say anything to you, a lot of men can't express themselves emotionally the way women can (justamum states the obvious).
Get some sleep, sober up & talk to him when you are sober. You're not a bad mother, from what I can tell you are a lovely mum.

MrsApronstrings · 21/09/2006 23:29

would agree that mens feelings can get all f'ed up and come out very wrong. so sorry you are struggling to come to terms with the abortion - have you had any counselling?

Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:31

thanks and < ashamed. I feel so all over the place... odd thing is my ex was horrid... really horrid, but since being with DH hasnt been a bed of ross, all I can remember is the good and want that again. DH knows how I feel... about everything and will leave me if I see my ex and keep seeing him, but im not sure I fully forgive my DH for what he put me through and what he keeps putting me through. I put my DS before everything, but obviously have lapsed tonight.

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littlepiggie · 21/09/2006 23:32

quootiepie are you still there?
could you get dh to give lo a bottle in the night so that you can get a proper nights sleep? You might feel a bit better and be able to deal with things better.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:33

DH keeps planning to sort i out for me (I just cant) but "forgets". Im not sure ill be ovedr it with counsilling though. The way I got over what my ex did was being split from him for years...

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Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:33

DH cant - he has to be up at 4.30/5 am for work ... feeding is my job really...

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Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:35

oh, and I would NOT have an affair with my ex... I just couldnt. Chat, laugh maybe kiss if im feeling very weak is all really. But maybe meeting him means im having an "affair"?

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MrsApronstrings · 21/09/2006 23:35

my advice would be don't do the ex thing - at least wait - if its real it will stay real - it really wont help you sort out with dh - and even after half a bottle of vodie you know he was "horrid"

littlepiggie · 21/09/2006 23:37

One night will not kill him!
My ds is 22 weeks old, a few weeks ago i left him with dh and went out for the night, felt loads better.
Its his baby to, and if you need a break then he should be there to help. Have you asked him?

Original poster
Quootiepie · 21/09/2006 23:37

I feel I need a shoulder to cry on... with ex... inbetween the horridness he was nice...

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PinkTulips · 21/09/2006 23:38

councelling will help though, not just with the abortion but with all the other issues.

if you can admit x was horrid then don't bother meeting him, its not worth it.

i think you need to make dh aware how serious the situation is, how close you are to leaving. maybe he thinks if he just ignores the situation it'll just go away.... you need to tell him thats not the case.

i can completely understand why you can't forgive him, as i'm sure can most mothers.... but does he? does he realise how awful what he did was? you need to tell him