what they dont tell you about breast feeding

[DragonFlyx]

While on this part of the forum I decided to post a thread of my own. I bottle fed my first, but I plan to express my milk for my baby thats due. It's really really early days and I'm only 6 weeks gone but I want to be prepared to make my decision properly.

I don't like the idea of actually breast feeding. My daughter never was, she never gets poorly, very relaxed and she is at a mental age of a year older.

All I see is positive stories about breast feeding, but I never see anything that others warn you about. Even though I'll be expressing - is there anything horrible, gross or just something no one ever tells you?

Think I'm worried about having huge arealoas haha, theyv already got a little bigger although my boobs are very large, swollen and sore at the moment (one of the first things that made me take a test!)

Yes. I spent a week or so expressing by hand straight into a 1ml syringe. Then things got going a little more and a little more until I could pump. I am apparently in a very small minority though.
There was a lot once she was born but there were still a lot of hairy moments in the first couple of months where I couldn't express enough to keep up with demand. Very hard when that's all they are getting to eat.

Milk removal stimulates milk production (which is why some adoptive mothers manage to at least partially BF), so it is possible to stimulate milk production before giving birth.
I found it hard enough postnatally tbh… baby as milk-removal device is much more pleasant IMO

I had a very positive breastfeeding experience. I fed my son for 2 years, even though I went back to work when he was 9 months and am rather lo I can't really give you any negatives, for me it was a no brainer: it's better for the baby, it's what nature intended - it's biologically the normal thing, it's free, it's always there. For these reasons I'd urge you to give it a go. Yes, it's the baby wants to feed a lot in the early days but I feel that even though you are the only one who can feed there are lots of reasons why breastfeeding isn't the slog it's sometimes portrayed as: no making up bottles (just get boob out!), you don't need anything, you can feed lying down (and even half asleep), it's an excuse to sit down and watch telly. I know it can be hard and painful at first though so you need help and support if you feel it's not working from those with knowledge - I'd recommend peer supporters over most health care professionals.

I was just like you, really didn't like the idea of breastfeeding despite all the positives for the baby. At the last minute - literally as being handed the baby by the midwife - I made a snap decision to try it. I figured I'd stop if it was horrible but thought I might regret not trying. It was the best decision I ever made! What nobody tells you, because they can't put it into words, is how lovely it is when you pick up a hungry baby and she looks all excited. Or how adorable it is when she looks up at you whilst feeding with big, wide eyes. I also like looking at her and thinking"I grew a baby!" Yes the first few weeks with all the cluster feeding is bloody exhausting but it settles down and becomes a good opportunity to sit down and watch tv for 20 mins! I express once a day so DH can give it her a bottle too and I'd recommend yoomi bottles which warm the milk up to body temp for you. I think I'd be very sore if I had to express all day.

I had a real mixture with my first (and currently only), and plan to do the same with any future child if I can.

I breastfed for 3 days. Day 4 I expressed one bottle a day (so that hubby or others could have a turn to feed the baby.) At around 3 weeks I had a bad day where I just couldn't produce milk and so gave my baby a formula. He had a nice long nap and so did I, then I was able to feed from me again. Around week 4 I have him formula as a sleep feed just before I went to bed (around 10/11pm). That seemed to carry him through for 6 hours.

He had nipple confusion once when I expressed all day for a day and that evening he wouldn't take the breast. The next day I refused to give him a bottle and he soon sorted himself out again.

I'm a great big believer in doing what feels right for you. You need to feel good about your choices. When you are relaxed and happy you're baby is likely to also be relaxed and happy. If you want to combine and your baby can handle it then do it.

I have heard such a variety of stories about each type of feeding. I think you can't really know until the time comes but it's good to do your research now and be prepared to be flexible if you need to be.

Biggest piece of advice is if you plan to express often get yoursel a decent electric double pump! I loved mine, even if I did feel like a cow toes up to it while being milked.

Hi,
I think breastfeeding is a very difficult thing to do but it is really wonderful. I breastfed my 8 months old until recently and I am so happy I did. I was certainly not prepared for him feeding pretty much constantly in the first 12 weeks. I did use the pump and although I had plenty of milk I had to constantly pump to have the equivalent of a bottle. All in all it s good if you want to get out and not breastfeed and everybody is different but I would doubt it is something you can do exclusively. If you have the right support and you are super motivated breastfeeding is awesome. You can go
To groups etc... If you want to pump only I would say you would end up topping baby up with formula but that's just my experience and everyone is different.

It's definitely possible to exclusively express (my cousin did it for all three of her babies for four or five months each, plus had milk over for the milk bank - respect!) but as everyone above has said, it's a good bit more work than just feeding them "from the tap".

I bf with a little expressing. The idea was that she had tried the bottle by a certain age otherwise some won't accept a bottle later should the need arise and that I had a little stash in the freezer for any emergency (never used it) I had an electric pump which was far more effective but even then, it is still a little time consuming and I didn't have to do it much!
The down side of bf was seriously sore nips inc one that bled! Incredibly painful that I could feed from one for a while. HV said it was either because I was fair or latch was a bit off though it seemed fine. I was lucky each nip took a turn to be sore so I could express the sore one than feed during that time. However, after about 12 weeks they were never sore again! It took some serious determination and a drop in her weight (common and then the came in ever so much and she was v chunky the next month)
I only added the bf bit as people may stop due to soreness or low supply (appreciate there are many reasons) and both do pass (at least in my experience) and the pump (the actual question) filled the gap - comfortable!, though weird to look at so hung a muslin over it :-))
Do you think you could start off trying both as could work out easiest for you?
Good luck either way!

I breastfed my baby and it takes alot of time to begin with to increase supply, the baby just wants to feed all the time, also so they can be close to you. It's a lovely experience after the first few weeks. I tried expressing but he didn't really take to the bottle and it can take soo long to get the milk out so bf was easier for us. It is hard work and I spent hours feeding but it was worth it, I feel we have a great bond x

I wouldn't bother expressing at all if I were you. Breastfeeding is easy (after the first week of agony that is) whereas expressing takes time, not to mention all the sterilisation business, I would express straight in the mouth of my babe, honestly, or I would fully bottle feed again.
But no baby is the same, I breastfed my 3, and it was a completely different experience each time. The breasts will undergo the same transformation if you express or breastfeed IMO.

I only breastfed, never expressed/used bottles. What they don't tell you (at least in my experience) is that it CAN hurt when you are learning how to breastfeed. Ignore them when they say it means you are doing it wrong. And that it's okay, it's normal and it passes once you fall into routine. I wanted to give up, as a first time mum, I felt it wasn't working when in fact I wasn't getting the right support. So I took my time and I did a bit of research about how to position the baby, and I asked around. Always look and ask for help if you feel lost! Help won't fall into your lap. Once I fell into routine, it was the best thing ever, and I happily breastfed until my little one was 2. It became the most natural thing in the world for me. Everyone is different though and however you feed your child, it's the right choice. Good luck!

I would definitely try and address your concerns around breastfeeding and try to feed directly rather than express if you want your baby to have breastmilk.

I know that your daughter is healthy, happy and intelligent and that's great. The way that it works is that if you take a large sample of people (say 100) who were breastfed and another group of the same size who weren't, there will be a larger percentage of the non-breastfed group who will be obese, or develop certain cancers or experience SIDS. They will have a lower IQ on average and have a greater number of ENT infections. That doesn't mean that you can't have happy, healthy intelligent children who are formula fed, you are just giving them a better chance to reach their full potential if you breastfeed. As a mother your chances of several cancers are dramatically reduced by breastfeed and the longer you do it the better your chances of not getting them.

You will get most of these benefits from expressing but I agree with others that expressing is really hard. I fed and expressed because I was afraid of not having enough milk for my son (wrongly, as it happens) and found it really tough. I did it for a few weeks I think, it's a bit of a blur now! I wouldn't recommend it. Once breastfeeding is established it's much much easier than expressing or formula feeding. It is also very comforting for children and an easy way to help them sleep. By directly feeding, the contact between mother and baby actually influences the milk so it is just right for what your baby needs when they need it.

In terms of what they don't tell you? I would agree with what someone else said: get support from breastfeeding peer supporter or if you can afford it or if one is available free, a lactation consultant. If feeding is painful, get help as soon as possible, don't wait for it to go away. Some mild discomfort is normal initially because you won't be used to the pump/baby but it shouldn't be painful. And have Lansinoh on hand in the hospital (not at home) so you can start using it straight away.

Hi never posted on here but wanted to comment because I was in your position. I formula fed my son who is almost 6. I never breastfed him and never considered it. When I got pregnant with my son last year I started considering breastfeeding. I found the idea difficult even to talk about as I was just 'thinking' about it and didn't want the pressure. My son is now 6 months and I'm still breastfeeding! It wasn't easy and the first couple of feeds were fine but then the milk seemed to disappear. I remember the 3rd night in hospital my son was crying and me saying there is no milk... one nurse did say do you want me to get a bottle and I said no. It was hard to say but then a day or so later my milk came in. The first few weeks were hard .... the latching on, sometimes he would be slipping off my boon and around the 12 day Mark my nipples were sore and my Boobs were hot. We got use to it and I did do some expressing. I will say with expressing its not the same a formula as u may only pump an ounce or two and you think that's not enough but it is. The first few months I remember saying I'd breastfeed until 6 months but ill never love breastfeeding. But that changed and I love it and without sounding like the mythical breastapo I try to encourage friends to stick with it or consider it. I have just returned back to work and express so people can feed him while I'm away (I work full-time). My advice would be join a breastfeeding group I couldn't have imagined anything worse before I had my son but it's amazing how helpful it is to be with others who are breastfeeding, and because I formula fed my first I had to not see formula as an option (because I knew if I did give formula I'd not bother breastfeeding), people talk about supportive partners but mine wasn't you just have to be strong in yourself. It was hard at the beginning and it didn't feel fab when I felt useless with no milk but now I feel so proud of myself.sorry babbling about breastfeeding and you asked about exclusively pumping, I didn't do that but expressed from early on and would say that was fairly easy, but the amount of breast milk you make is a lot less then formula but it's a different product it's hard to get your head round at first and honestly consider breastfeeding just to make your life easier (I know what your thinking I use to say 'they bang on about breast milk but then expressing isn't good enough they want u to actually breastfeed ' ... but it's just easier and with breastfeeding and express ing you will boost your supply xxx

That's another thing they don't tell you: know in advance where you are going to go for support. Find out about breastfeeding groups where you can meet other mums. Even if you only express, you are still a breastfeeding mum!

Great story, ra. Glad you got to the stage of enjoying it, and feeling pleased it is part of the relationship you gave with your baby.

I had to exclusively pump while DD was in NICU being fed by tube. I had a delay of 2 days before I could start as I was unwell and on ITU myself. Now we are both home and breastfeeding with a nipple shield to help with latching. DD is going through a growth spurt and feeding every 1-2 hours - it is still easier than pumping every 3 hours!
Pumping did work to establish my supply - I ended up with an over supply in fact. I used a double electric pump - I was advised that anything less just wont work when pumping full time. It is such a faff having to pump, wash and sterilise every 3 hours. Add bottle feeding the milk into that I can imagine you will do little else.
Whatever you choose will be the right decision for your family.

I had a nightmare few weeks bf, but eventually an NCT breast feeding counsellor came round to see me and it transformed the experience for me.

I was being told to express between feeds & we were then trying to get DD to take extra milk between feeds as she'd lost weight.

Had several very unhelpful midwives frightening the cr@p out of me, until my own midwife turned up on day 3 & told me not to worry. She was 9lb 12oz, so not exactly wasting away!

I eventually took an anti-sickness drug that was prescribed called domperidone, which may of may not have helped up my milk supply.

Medela swing electric pump was a doddle to use; but the tediousness of sterilising!

Once I'd cracked bf, it was fantastic, much less hassle, feed wherever (IKEA car park, cafés, john Lewis).

When I finally put in a formula feed towards 9 months (due to biting issues when out and about - ouch!) I couldn't believe what a pain it was.

Best of luck with whatever you decide. Whatever works for you is the main thing I think.

I thought of another great thing about breastfeeding that I've never heard anyone talk about. Not everyone feels it and sometimes it can be painful but the let down reflux was for me the most incredible feeling. I used to look forward to it so much and really missed it when it went a few months in.

Another rare thing which my sister has is D-MER ( dysphoric milk ejected reflex) it's complicated to explain and there is a support group for it. But she is still breastfeeding and her son will be one in September. Just in terms of you saying how you felt about your nipples there might be other breastfeeding mums who have the same thing. Also I know it can get stressful researching expressing milk as they say stuff like offer it in a cup or spoon but in hospital I used oral syringes and when we got home I used bottles, obviously as I mentioned early my sons latch isn't perfect but I remember seeing a photo of an Malaysian tribal women breastfeeding and saying bet she hasn't got a health visitor hassling her about the perfect latch and her child looked well and happy. Also as a first time breastfeeder but a second time mother comments about special breastfeeding bond, being closer to your baby and doing what's best can cut like a knife and make you feel bad for not breastfeeding your first, but you move on and like someone else said it's just part of my mothering this time round. Good luck in whatever you choose :)

I was bit daunted about bf my only daughter as my sister had EBF all her three and was a bit evangelical about it. But I told myself I would just try. It was not easy, I did need to be taught how how and needed a lot of support early on, DD didn't!
When you don't get the latch right things can get exquisitely, bite on a wooden spoon sore! I had one inverted nipple which was very challenging, for about 5 weeks i BF on one side and exoressed the other. The pump made me very sore and never seemed to get very much out. I gave up at 6 weeks and EBF off one boob til she was 9 months and she got ill and everything went wrong.
It is time consuming but far, far more convenient than all that sterilising. It is also truly wonderful, highly convenient, cheap and very good for baby.
Go to your local BF support group later on in your pregnancy and talk to people. If it doesn't work out for you though don't panic, your baby will still be fine if you FF but you might just miss the opportunity to do something really special if you make your mind up too early on.

Gonna put some positive ones out there as I personally think the positives of BF far outweight the negatives -

• BF, once established, is so bloody easy and convenient. It takes about 1 second to whip a boob out, et voila, baby is happy. No faffing on with taking bottles out, heating things up, waiting about at silly o'clock in the morning etc
• BF is funny. The first time you accidentally squirt your partner with milk is a sight to behold. Also you will get to a point when your baby is feeding and will stop and giggle about nothing at all, then carry on. Melts your heart it does!
• BF makes your tits look awesome. If they do sag this is because of pregnancy, not breastfeeding. BF = saggy boobs is a myth
• BF delays your periods returning. Can't say I've missed that horrible monthly occurance
• BF gets easier. It can be hard at the beginning in the establishment stages, but every day is a step towards EasyVille!
• Expressed BM can come out the fridge, be heated up and then refrigerated if you don't use it. Which is handy as it really is a shame to see milk you've pumped hard for going to waste
• People don't mind breastfeeding. I've been BFing my daughter for 14 months, have done it in public with my whole boob on show (bar the part her mouth/head covers of course). I have had nothing but compliments, encouragement and helpful people. One waitress even cut up my food once so I could eat it easily with one hand! I have never met anyone who's had a bad comment about BFing

Good luck

I am exclusively expressing for my 16 week old. I wanted to bf but we struggled getting started and her weight fell and fell. I was advised to ff, which we started doing as I could barely get a drop of expressed milk. Bit by bit I've built it up and now been exclusively expressing since 6 weeks as we never managed to get her back on the breast. I echo thoughts here, it is hard work-pump, feed, sterilise, exhausting in the early weeks, esp when trying to build supply so expressing every 3 hrs day and night, so I would have much preferred to breast feed. However, I'm proud of where we've got to, yet do have regrets at not being able to establish bf. One thing I would say is we got such conflicting advice in hospital and from health visitors and lactation consultants, it was very stressful and felt like I was losing my mind! So, if you can find one source if advice you trust stick with it. If you choose to express exclusively, I recommend medela freestyle. Expensive, but worth it in the time you save. Good luck!

Hp2103
There is always hope! DD is 19 weeks and has just started breastfeeding! Ive expressed everything since birth and kept supply going and just kept trying her.
I'm so incredibly proud of her! its been a long slog but we got there in the end. maybe you should keep trying just in case?