what they dont tell you about breast feeding

[DragonFlyx]

While on this part of the forum I decided to post a thread of my own. I bottle fed my first, but I plan to express my milk for my baby thats due. It's really really early days and I'm only 6 weeks gone but I want to be prepared to make my decision properly.

I don't like the idea of actually breast feeding. My daughter never was, she never gets poorly, very relaxed and she is at a mental age of a year older.

All I see is positive stories about breast feeding, but I never see anything that others warn you about. Even though I'll be expressing - is there anything horrible, gross or just something no one ever tells you?

Think I'm worried about having huge arealoas haha, theyv already got a little bigger although my boobs are very large, swollen and sore at the moment (one of the first things that made me take a test!)

Exclusive expressing would seem to be very hard work Imo. Harder than BFing anyway.

When you crack breastfeeding it is great. Easy, milk on tap and lots of lovely cuddles with your baby. However like others say, you do feel you are permanently BFing.

I miss those cuddly breastfeeding sessions.......looks at 4 year old stuffing cornflakes in his mouth.

I don't think you can compare exclusive expressing with just breastfeeding.

Expressing is the work of breastfeeding plus all the work and faff of formula feeding, and I don't think many women would exclusively express unless they really had to.

It may be worth chatting to someone regarding your feelings about breastfeeding. Dealing with that may be easier than what you are about to undertake.

Oh and breastfeeding won't affect the size of your areloa- it's the preganany hormones that cuase these changes.
If anything a pump can be harder on your nipples than a baby.

Yep - correct about the reason for areola (and breast) changes - it is pregnancy that does it :)

Never could bring myself to express. i am not a cow.

EBf for first six weeks then mixed bf and ff to three months.

It is intolerably tedious-takes longer than bottle feeding, only you can do it and you can't do anything else at the same time apart from watch telly. I didn't lose the baby weight until I stopped bf. "Support" is meaningless because no-one is actually going to come round in the middle of the night and do it for you.

Never had any problem bf in public generally (although doing this discreetly is not actually that easy if one has large boobs) but found it impossible to do so in front of any man with whom I have a nromally "clothed" relationship- seemed bad manners because it clearly embarrassed them.

Think the evidence for health benefits beyond the first few weeks is pretty thin

On the upside- it is clear that there are benefits initially and it is very cuddly. Sterilising bottles is tedious.

I agree with what everyone has said about expressing. I expressed for DC1 for 6 weeks and it was tough.

I'm still bf DC2. The early weeks can be tough, tougher than ff, but by 8 weeks all the hard work is done and then it's easy. All the work is front loaded with bf, but once you've cracked it it's easier than bottle feeding.

I found it best to trust baby to regulate my supply. Nature is clever

Also, I feed very discretely despite by huge boobs. It's harder as DD has got older and more wriggly but I care less now than I did starting out.

DS1 was fed mostly on expressed breastmilk until we started weaning (couldn't manage to get breastfeeding established), and DS2 is breastfed.

Getting breastfeeding established can be hard, but IME, once it is established, it's so much easier than bottle feeding. And feeding expressed breastmilk is so much harder than just using formula.

With DS1, I could keep up with his milk needs as long as I expressed after every feed, but it was so time-consuming, both with the pumping and with having to wash and sterilize the bits every time. And if we went out to baby groups or whatever, I'd often end up having to top-up with formula because I'd not expressed often enough that day.

If you do go for it though, I'd recommend getting a hands-free bra (with hole cut in for pump bits to go through) so you have both hands free for tv remote / reading books / waving toys at baby etc. And if you're not getting much out, expressing more frequently (even just short bits) is meant to be more effective at increasing supply than expressing just a few times a day but for a long time on each go.

"Think the evidence for health benefits beyond the first few weeks is pretty thin"

I have to disagree entirely. The evidence is rock solid. "The longer you breastfeed, the longer the protection lasts and the greater the benefits."

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/why-breastfeed.aspx#close

I breastfed, mixed with some expressing due to thrush and pain problems. It took about 11 weeks to get the hang of things but I am so happy we did.

I had a good settler, she was fine with a bottle from other people, probably because we did it from the first week she was born, so we never had nipple confusion.

The only thing I wish I had done is express more milk for the freezer in the early days before my supply settled down, but I was at risk of over supply (massive hot boobs) so I had to cut back for safety.

One thing they don't tell you is that you will not be able to shovel food in your mouth quickly enough to satisfy the intense hunger you will feel in the early days.

The other thing they don't tell you is that nothing soothes a baby as quickly or easily as a booby, so it makes for a very quiet and enjoyable first few months.

My first shock was milk comes out like shower head in many places not just one hole!

I EE for 20 weeks, then gave up as I couldn't leave the house. This was due to DS having a TT and by the time it was snipped we were in a wee routine and he never took to the breast. It is doable, but I do think I was lucky in being able to express.

Pregnancy changes your breasts, not breastfeeding. That just makes them get bigger.

I bf DD and didn't have any problems doing so, except I bloody hated every minute of it. My happy hormones had buggered off on holiday apparently and I didn't feel like I bonded with her properly until I stopped when she was seven months. I did express sometimes, and didn't have any problems, however DD fed so much that the milk peed out of me relentlessly at all times so that probably helped. I never had to wait for let down and was just catching what was pouring out of me anyway. At three months I can remember counting up the hours she was attached to me - 10 hours a day, roughly.

If you're going to express from the start, though, I reckon that's going to take some serious dedication to the cause to get it going. My son (he's 5 months) had some breast milk for his first two weeks, but it was really hard to express. I reckon if I was doing that alone I'd have had to pump minimum of 30 mins every couple of hours round the clock in order to keep the supply going in the early weeks. Not sure how you'd manage that with another child to look after but I guess some people make it work.

Best piece of advice I would give is be prepared to bf all day and night, whenever your baby wants, for the first few months.

People often think they don't have enough milk when they just aren't letting the baby nurse enough. You need to let them nurse almost constantly for the first day or so to get the milk to come through. Nursing stimulates milk production. If don't do it enough you will not produce enough milk. Also, just because the baby wants to nurse a lot does not mean they are not getting enough. They do it for comfort and because it makes them feel safe and a lot of babies would be happy nursing for most of the time during their first few months.

My reasons for wanting to express are.. I don't like things touching my nipples, don't even let OH 'play' horrible feeling! I don't want a baby attached to me all the time, I'd like others to be able to feed and bond suchas OH, he used to love doing the night feeds with our first because he enjoyed the bonding and I'd also like to make alot of time for our first. My mum also likesto take dd once a week and has done since she was tiny, id like her to be able to do this with expected baby too.

I personally don't see the difference in benefits with formula or breast, if breast is best, I was ff and I'm very rarely ill, my daughter is almost 3 and only ever had 1 cold in her life, were relaxed people. Other half was bf and he suffers with hayfeaver terribly, when he gets ill it's worse than when we get the same thing and has eczema. despite bottle feeding, me and my daughter have an amazing bond.

I have chosen to feed BM to second baby because I don't want to feel that guilt again, to save money (awful thing to say, I know) to benefit myself - help stomach muscles, happy hormones etc. I especially want that first feed to be BM because of everything it contains, I was gutted when I was unable to even bottle feed my daughter for the first day and others did it.

I had so much milk last time, my boobs were like water melons, red hot and extremely sore, every time I had a shower it sprayed everywhere, I leaked through pads so often I refused to leave the house till it dried up, I hope I have such a good supply this time round.

I expressed for 6 weeks until my DS's tongue tie was clipped so my tips would be - a double pump will half the time you have to spend pumping, you can cut slits in an old bra to put the funnels into so you can pump hands free and you should be able to borrow a pump from the hospital to try out while you're there before going and buying one.

For what it's worth, I can't bear my DH touching my nipples now I'm bf, but the baby feeding is a different sensation. I don't really feel it, I only know he's feeding because I can hear him go glug glug glug.

Oh and for the original question, all the pics and videos they should you in antenatal classes have a baby looking lovely and serene and feeding. They should have included the bit where your baby discovers your bra strap and starts pinging it, or whacking you with whatever you put in his hand to discourage it!

What don't they tell you about breast feeding?

1)That it can be hard at first.
2)That it can take 3/4 days for your milk to come in and that it absolutely fine- your baby will not starve and does not need anything to tide her over
3)That once established it makes life so incredibly easy- you can go anywhere, do anything, stay out as late as you like, change your plans- it makes you a free agent.
4)And because most people don't know (4) it is also a perfect excuse never to do anything you don't want to.
5) it is free.

I don't think that exclusive pumping will free up time for you to spend with your dc1 because you will need to pump every few hours to keep up supply. That will take the same amount of time as actually breastfeeding the baby.

Would nipple shields help with the sensitivity?

Some of those are great reasons.

The nipple thing - I hear you. I don't like having to touchthem myself, quite frankly. But somehow with bf it's different, perhaps because the baby's mouth doesn't actually touch the nipple end itself, just the areola.

Would youconsider bf for the first week or so, then expressing (either full or mixed feeding)? The consensus as you've seen is that ee is bloody hard work, but on top of recovering from labour and delivery it is honestly knackering compared with bf. I would have thought that you'd be more likely to succeed at EE if you didn't start until you were more rested.

As for the medical benefits, I will concede that the benefits to baby are greatest in the earliest days, so your plan to try to give bm at the beginning for as long as you can is really great. But what we talk about less is that the benefits to you go on and on. In particular, the reduction in risk of female cancers is worth bearing in mind. Every week/month/year you breastfeed gives youmore protection. Which means your child is less and less likely to lose its mother young.

The health benefits apply across populations rather than necessarily individuals, of course, which is why weseesee healthy ff babies and bf mothers with cancer.But still, it's worth considering. If you are in a position to choose (and bf/ff isn't always a choice) thenwhy not choose the one that lowers risk?

I ff two of mine and am bf my third at the moment, a few things I have found different are ;
When baby gets distracted whilst feeding, it fekking hurts when they try to take your nipple with them!
Your dh cannot do a night feed!
Trying to release my boob from ds's vice like clamp when he has fallen asleep is not easy! (Am sure someone will tell me how....please)
But I have loved every minute of bf and wished that my other two had taken to it so easily as this little one.

I expressed for ten days while my son was in hospital after the birth. I used a great big industrial pump which was quite uncomfortable but did a great job of getting milk out. I woke myself up with an alarm every three hours including through the night so that I was able to keep my supply up as I wanted to breastfeed when he came out (Which I did) so it wasn't the easier option really. It was really hard but I was determined and I had read a lot about how breastfeeding works and how you need to feed often or on demand. I treated the pump like it was my child and the hospital were always very complimentary about how much I was able to provide. I was also breastfeeding him when possible in the hospital despite attempts by the staff to keep giving him a bottle.

After that I expressed once a day in work when he was 10 months old and in childcare so that he could continue to have my milk while in nursery and so my breasts didn't get uncomfortable. The hand pump was a lot harder to use but not uncomfortable. I am still breastfeeding him at three and a half and no longer pump.

When I was pregnant i saw so many negative stories about breastfeeding that I thought it would be really difficult. In the end, once he was out of hospital and we were able to bed-in for days it turned out to be rather wonderful and fairly easy - hence me still doing it now.

Remember that expressing still means you have to do all that tedious sterilising stuff.

"I personally don't see the difference in benefits with formula or breast, if breast is best, I was ff and I'm very rarely ill, my daughter is almost 3 and only ever had 1 cold in her life, were relaxed people. Other half was bf and he suffers with hayfeaver terribly, when he gets ill it's worse than when we get the same thing and has eczema. despite bottle feeding, me and my daughter have an amazing bond."

unfortunately anecdotal stuff like this isn't really proving anything. The simple fact is that formula is not as good as breast milk and never will be, that's just nature and common sense.

What Hakluyt said (are you the best poster on MN?) Plus expressing is horrible compared to actually breastfeeding. Noisy, uncomfortable (wasn't painful though) and time consuming for a dribble half the time.

I had to use nipple shields for a week to let them recover from a really bad latch problem in the first week, perhaps that could help with your touching problem?

I would agree with all of the things people have said about expressing. I had to do this as DS was tube fed at first (few days) and then was so paranoid about him not getting anything from the breast that i decided to express like you.

Anyway, it was ok while he was in NICU as i could swan off and pump whenever. It was ok when DH was on paternity leave as i could swan off and pump whenever. When it was just me and baby, it wasn't possible for me to pump on schedule as DS didn't play ball. By 6 weeks id given up and we were exclusively on formula. I felt awful and like a failure.

if you are content that if it doesn't work out then you will just move to formula then go for it. Ig you feel strongly about your baby having breast milk then please consider feeding straight from the breast.

Had a good think and the only disadvantage of breastfeeding for me was that you can't tell exactly how much baby has had. Both my DDs took at least 40mins each feed and I could never tell if they were just using me as a dummy or actually feeding.

The advantage of bf or ff is that you can usually do it more or less anywhere whereas it would be quite difficult to whip out a double pump and express in a cafe. My friend express fed her dd for 4 months and it was incredibly restrictive. In order to maintain enough supply she had to express every 3 hours (including nights) so she barely left the house.
Bf is hard work and time consuming. I've mixed fed DS and, although it wasn't really a choice I'd do it again. Bf most of the time, an expressed bottle if I can and f if I need some time away.
Oh and Tongue tie can bloody well affect feeding- no matter what the mw tells you!!

cathpip to release their mouth, slip your little finger into the corner of their mouth to break the auction, then they'll come off easily. Don't just pull them off!

One thing I never realised about breastfeeding was just how bloody convenient it is. Night feeds just involve rolling over, grabbing baby, latching them on then dozing while they do their thing. Ff'ed night feeds mean you have to get out of bed, make up a bottle (warm if they need it), stay awake enough to hold the bottle while they feed, etc etc.
We could go anywhere for as long as we wanted without having to pack milk and bottles and worry about keeping it cold or warming it up or whether we had enough.
If your baby cries and you think they are hungry, you just stick them on - if they are not interested in feeding, no problem, milk's always there and ready. With ffing, I lost count of the number of bottles I'd make up, DS would have an oz and not actually want milk, so the rest would be wasted.