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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

what they dont tell you about breast feeding

98 replies

DragonFlyx · 09/07/2014 20:49

While on this part of the forum I decided to post a thread of my own. I bottle fed my first, but I plan to express my milk for my baby thats due. It's really really early days and I'm only 6 weeks gone but I want to be prepared to make my decision properly.

I don't like the idea of actually breast feeding. My daughter never was, she never gets poorly, very relaxed and she is at a mental age of a year older.

All I see is positive stories about breast feeding, but I never see anything that others warn you about. Even though I'll be expressing - is there anything horrible, gross or just something no one ever tells you?

Think I'm worried about having huge arealoas haha, theyv already got a little bigger although my boobs are very large, swollen and sore at the moment (one of the first things that made me take a test!)

OP posts:

NickyEds · 10/07/2014 11:23

I know what you mean about wastage LIzzie-as DS was topped up with f sometimes he'd take quite a bit, other times none but I always made a full bottle up. Bf in the night is easier- but not as easy as rolling over once a week to OH and saying "your turn"!! No one can bf for you!

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals · 10/07/2014 11:29

It's very glamorous;

When you see your baby your milk lets down and if you're not wearing pads you get milk patches.
I got night sweats
I had no appetite
The let down pain had me screaming for a couple of weeks
The baby will want to feed for 45 minutes of every hour for a few weeks
Increased b.o.
You can't get ready without having to stop and BF
BF babies DO get windy

I didn't like it much. I did 6 weeks and then threw the towel in, not selfless enough for that.

HazleNutt · 10/07/2014 11:30

I went back to work when DS was 4 months old and therefore expressed a lot. Massive, massive faff. Did you try to express with your DD? If you don't like to have your nipples touched then I don't think you will like what the pump does to them. I could not really feel the baby feeding (after the first few weeks), but pump is quite another matter and the pulling sensation is much stronger.

I liked Bf because of the convenience - clean milk, right temperature, right from the source, always available. With expressed milk, you first have to worry that everything is clean, that it's stored properly, that it stays cold and that you can warm it up somewhere. And yes, the massive waste when you think they are hungry, warm up a bottle and they don't want it.

Also you can BF anywhere - it's much more difficult to find suitable facilities for expressing, if you are not at home, not to mention lugging all necessary equipment with you. And you will have to express often if you don't want your supply to dry up and to get engorged - had to do it every 2-3 hours at first.

If you BF, you can still of course express every now and then, for night feeds and so your mum can help - but exclusive expressing is not an easy option.

If you still want to do it, you need a really good double pump. I had Medela Freestyle (medela Swing is cheaper, but it's not meant for exclusive pumping, you will wear the engine out). Or rent a hospital grade one.

One thing that people won't tell you - you don't actually need nursing bras! I was feeling like a shapeless droopy-boobed lump while wearing them. Then got a conversion kit from ebay, bought normal, supportive underwired bras, converted them to drop-cups myself and felt like a human again.

Original poster

DragonFlyx · 10/07/2014 11:37

The sterilizing and cleaning isn't an issue for me. Oh used to do all that for me when he got home for work, always told me I had done enough and to let him take care of bottles, in the end he got this system going and no one was allowed to interfere lol!

OP posts:

Hakluyt · 10/07/2014 11:43

"cathpip to release their mouth, slip your little finger into the corner of their mouth to break the auction, then they'll come off easily. Don't just pull them off! "

Even better if it's a wet little finger. Dip it in the glass of water that you should always have with you when feeding. or suck it

Chachah · 10/07/2014 11:55

What they didn't tell me about breastfeeding - it bloody hurts, in the beginning. My nipples were raw.

What they also don't tell you - it gets so much better. Once I'd passed the initial bump (a few weeks), it didn't hurt at all. And it was so convenient to feed Dd on the go, and to settle her whenever she was poorly or upset. It's a miracle tool.

museumum · 10/07/2014 13:06

I had a very positive experience, despite a baby with tongue tie, but what I didn't know before hand was that the stereo-typical position for the baby that you think is right is not the easiest. I found feeding lying down best for the first week, then feeding in a 'laid back nurturing' position, and then feeding with ds stradling one of my thighs and upright against me feeding from the boob on the same side. I didn't learn any of that till i went to a bf clinic.

Also, what they don't tell you is that although a baby has all these amazing instincts 'learning to bf' isn't something that a new mother has to do, it's something that you do as a partnership, it's as much about the baby learning their first new skill than about you. It really helped take the pressure off when I realised this as instead of getting frustrated and beating myself up about any difficulties, if I viewed it as helping him learn something new I found I had much much more patience and unerstanding.

SaggyAndLucy · 10/07/2014 14:05

I sincerely recommend trying to BF. It's completely different to being touched by anyone else.
DD is tube fed expressed BM. It has been hell on earth! In the beginning I was expressing 6 to 8 times a day for up to an hour. This was day and night. At one point she was on a 3 hour rotation. so I'd feed her, (20 minutes) feed myself, (20 minutes), express, (1 hour) do anything else I needed to do, shower, bath the baby, sterilise, put the washing in, change my clothes, (20 minutes to 1 hour) then sleep. So you're looking at an hours sleep at any one time. Then, if there was a visitor, or an appointment, or I wanted to spend any time with my other kids I didn't get ANY sleep. It's soul destroying.
Then there's the cracked nipples.
The blisters on your nipples.
The times when supply drops and you just can't keep up unless you pump even more than 8 times a day.
The moment when the pump packs up at 10pm on a Saturday night and you're stuffed.
The blockages and mastitis because when the good pump packs up you have to use the backup pump and it's not as good, doesn't strip the breastfeeding properly and makes you ill.
When you fall asleep from sheer exhaustion to discover whilst pumping and awaken to discover you've let go of the pump and you and the sofa are drenched in milk.
Having to attach yourself to a chugging gurgling milking machine in front of people because they visit and you HAVE to express.
Did I mention the blisters?
You're going to need a decent mains electric pump. Two is preferable.
At 4 1/2 months, DD is finally getting the hang of BF. It's like heaven compared to exclusive expressing. Quite frankly I think you're bonkers if you exclusively express just to give others a chance to feed. BF, express a bit of milk now and again and use that for when people want a go.
Or, formula feed.

DoYouThinkSheSawUs · 10/07/2014 14:06

One thing you really never get told.

Washable breast pads.

I use little lamb ones, they are in their 4th year of use and are so soft and comfy and a darn sight more absorbing than paper disposable ones

combust22 · 10/07/2014 14:08

"Had a good think and the only disadvantage of breastfeeding for me was that you can't tell exactly how much baby has had." Numberfaker- why do you need to know that?

douchbag · 10/07/2014 14:11

Your best feeding yourself for the first couple of days and then expressing. Colostrum doesn't express it just sticks the the tubes on the pump so gets wasted x

TheNumberfaker · 10/07/2014 14:13

Because my daughters would feed for at least 40 minutes, DD1 could go well over an hour and I just couldn't tell if she'd finished or was still going. My boobs are so big I couldn't tell if they were half full or empty and I used to worry about not getting the hind milk...

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 10/07/2014 14:14

That the people who care if you stop and formula feed are nosy and should mind their own beeswax

combust22 · 10/07/2014 14:15

Numberfaker- so there was no other way of knowing that your babies were thriving other than seeing how much milk they were drinking. How did you manage to breastfeed at all?

tiktok · 10/07/2014 14:28

Number, it's not really helpful to know how much milk a bf baby has taken....you don't know how much the baby needs at any one time, and it's going to differ feed to feed, baby to baby, day to day :)

The best guide is, as ever, the baby :)

TheNumberfaker · 10/07/2014 14:33

I managed for 5.5 months exclusive with both DDs and then to 12 months combining with solids and a bottle of formula at night.
if I'd had see through boobs (like bottles are transparent) then breastfeeding would have been easier to tell how much they'd had. Of course I managed, there was no way I was going to give up.

leedy · 10/07/2014 14:36

I never even thought about how much milk mine were getting. I might have if they were slow to gain weight or anything, but generally I assumed if it was coming out the other end, it was probably going in...

ShadowFall · 10/07/2014 14:37

If you're expressing exclusively, then you're going to need to be expressing during the day, and washing and sterilizing bits from the breast pump (nozzles, valves) each time. Unless you buy lots of spare bits, you won't be able to leave all the washing and sterilizing for your partner.

I also think that exclusive expressing will make it harder to find time for your older child - with exclusive expressing you have to express the milk, then feed the Baby separately, so the whole thing takes longer, and leaves less free time for anything else.

TheNumberfaker · 10/07/2014 14:40

Perhaps I just felt pressured by my sister who used to keep on at me about whether my DDs had had 'enough'? She only Bf for a week so she was always telling me that feeding for an hour 'wasn't right'!
The OP asked for disadvantages, that was the only one I could think of!!

ShadowFall · 10/07/2014 14:53

douchbag is right about colostrum and pumping not working well, due to the volume of colostrum being so teeny tiny, but the midwives in the hospital should be able to advise you on how to hand express and hopefully provide some little syringes for you to collect the drops of colostrum in.

combust22 · 10/07/2014 16:07

Number- I still don't see how it is a disadvantage- it is often quoted, but in reality there are better indicators. If a baby is thriving then it is clear -an alert happy baby, plenty wet & dirty nappies, gaining weight etc.

Habits of babies vary enormously from baby to baby and even the same baby from day to day and within the day!

It's easy to tell a baby who is actively feeding - you can hear and feel the swallowing and gulping, but sometimes they like a leisurley meal, a few swallows, a little nap, few more gulps, a little rest etc. All perfectly normal.

My first baby was a real guzzler, rarely took more than 10 minutes, but then in the evenings would like to spend time comfort sucking/snacking for hours.
( Great for me as OH had to pass the remote/ get me tea/chocolate cake/pass the tissues/magazine/phone/- I was far too busy breastfeeding to do these things. Bliss!!)

worldgonecrazy · 10/07/2014 16:26

Just remembered one more thing that they don't tell you about expressing and that is that you don't have to sterilize everything. Just wash in hot soapy water and rinse well in hot water, allow to air dry. Breast milk is "self sterilising" in that it has so many antibodies and antivirals and whatever else in it, that items in contact with it don't need sterilising. Breastmilk is a "live" product.

SaggyAndLucy · 10/07/2014 18:25

Actually, I was able to pump colostrum. I started filling a 1ml syringe by hand and once I got going I was pumping 20 to 40mls a day for the few weeks before do was born.

Original poster

DragonFlyx · 11/07/2014 14:51

I had heard this somewhere too worldgonecrazy, so I'm pretty tempted to buy a couple of spare parts & sterilize at night time when we all settle down (wishful thinking!)

OP posts:

Original poster

DragonFlyx · 11/07/2014 14:52

Saggy, pumping before giving birth? Did you have to getit flowing yourself or did the milk come naturally ? Bet you had a great supply to get you going when little one was with you !

OP posts:

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