Night feeders thread part 3 - Up all night feeding? Come join! [title edited by MNHQ]

[mrsmugoo]

Part 3!

Quick recap - DS, 17 weeks, EBF (stubborn little bottle refuser), crap sleeper! Super knackered Mummy, surviving on 1-2 hour sleeps :(

So I am hoping for a better night tonight seeing as bedtime went smoothly. Last night was hideous and I've eaten a twirl, a bounty and a salted caramel brownie today just to get through the day!

Well the screaming is back

He has definitely got himself into a routine of only settling to sleep on the breast now. I don't know how to fix this as he screams SO loud and SO high-pitched that I will do anything to make it stop so he gets what he wants every time. I don't mind feeding him to sleep generally, but the last few nights (with one exception) it's been hourly or more frequent between 8/9pm and midnight/1am And just now he has done his hysterical screaming until I've fed him to sleep for his morning nap. He's obviously very tired, but won't give in and drop off any other way.

NAR4, you poor thing, that sounds absolutely exhausting! Has your DS always been like this with night wakings and feeding? I'm partly asking out of self interest as I can see myself being in your shoes in a year if my DS carries on this way!

cariad

The only thing that had improved for me during DS's current shrieky phase is that my insomnia seems to be a bit better. I don't know whether that's because I am even more utterly exhausted now (doubtful as I was totally knackered way).

The only other things that have changed are that I've been going to bed later which seems to help a bit, and that we've got a fan for the bedroom so it's cooler and more comfortable. Both of these things might be coincidence, but could they be worth a try for you?

Of course now I've dared to say that my insomnia has improved In sure it will be been with a vengeance tonight!

Hi Nar4 that sounds exhausting!

Sympathies cariad and Kate.

Fin had a good night last night but I was up 5 times during the night to let my puggy out as she has an upset tum,its like having 2 babies! Fin is currently asleep on me after screaming his little heart out with teething pain and puggy is cuddled up next to me feeling sorry for herself.

Poor puggy
Enjoy your cuddles and the quiet

I'm just feeding DS - he's only just woken up from a 3 hour sleep.

Does anyone else's baby trump a lot when they're feeding or is it just mine?

Omg writer 3 hours? You mustn't know what to do with yourself?

I barely did the online shopping order while this little monkey slept for 35 minutes....sigh.....

Well the first 1.5 hours were when me and DH were out and about in town but when we got home I used the other 1.5 hours to catch up on Holby City and TOWIE. should I admit to watching that show?

He's had another cat nap this afternoon too (about 40 minutes) so I'm not feeling quite as stressed about bedtime now as an 'overtired baby' shouldn't be an issue

Hey writer Fin trumps like a trooper while he's feeding.

Back to back screaming since half 7 and still going...

The last 4 nights shes woken up every hour - sometimes more, she won't nap during tje day... she must be getting less than 8 hours sleep herself since I know we are.

I actually don't know how much more we can take of this...

Oh polly - have you spoken to your HV about this? When I was going through the same thing she came round to see me because I was about to crack up and I just burst into tears. She stayed with me for an hour and although there wasn't much practical advice she could give, it helped me so much just having someone sit there and listen to me. I just cried my eyes out to her. Depending on your relationship with your HV, maybe speaking to her might help? She will have no doubt have come across the same problem many, many times before and may possibly have some good advice, but if it, some positive reassurance for you.

DS's screaming has been much better over the last 3/4 nights which I think coincides with the decision we made to give him a one off dose of gripe water following his last feed of the night to really clear his wind. I'm now in the process of trying to get him to self settle again after weeks of feeding to sleep. He fell asleep at 8.30pm but then woke again at 9.00pm after a loud trump!! He got a bit upset so I calmed him down and then out him back down in his Crib whilst he was still awake. He is still in there now, protesting a little but he always gets upset and cries just before he falls asleep, it's really weird. One minutes he's grizzling and the next he is flat out!!

Well my plan didn't work out as the grizzling turned to screaming. He was drooling so much, gnawing on his fists and his cheeks were so red that I resorted to giving Calpol. Why does teething always affect them more at night? We have teething rings etc but he won't use them - to be fair he's too young for them really.

I cant just keep giving him a dose of Calpol every night though can I?
But I can't just leave him crying either

My DS farts himself awake too! Don't know how he's so windy. He's always in a great rush to feed so am thinking he must gulp down a fair amount of air. And I eat a high fibre diet so that probably contributes too. He's not been too bad today apart from producing a giant poonami that went everywhere but has only napped for a couple of hours in total. Am hoping to get some decent sleep tonight, damn this insomnia :(

Regarding the loud and excessive trumping, I just think he has inherited his dad's bowels

DS is now back in his Crib, quiet and settled. He's doing his usual trick of just staring at all the zoo animals on his bumpers

Do you have anything on your mind cariad that is keeping you awake? I recently suffered from insomnia because whenever I was lying in bed I was thinking about a particular problem I was having (not DS related) and it just kept going round and round in my head, I just couldn't shut off!

And he's crying again......

He's back in his cot after a dreamfeed and I'm shattered. Good night all, hope you have good nights!

He fell asleep for 10 minutes then woke up screaming again.....

I've calmed him down and put him back in his Crib, let's see if he falls asleep again and how long for this time.

It's been 3 hours since I bought him up to bed.....

Mym mum eventually got her yo sleep about 9:15ish. And drama then turns up on my doorstep in the form of my ex best friend...

The universe is against me

Also writer my HV is a bit of a twat, so that would be a no go area

Ooh dear - I hope the drama has gone away and you can get some sleep!!

My DS is still screaming. I've had to just walk away because after 3+ hours of it I can't listen to it anymore. DH is in there with him trying to settle him but it's pretty pointless. He doesn't want to be held, he doesn't want to be in his crib and he doesn't want to feed so all we can do is wait for him to wear himself out. I'm 2 floors below him and I can still hear the screaming.

Hmm, you may have a point there Writer, we are moving in less than 2 weeks time and I'm already worried about how long it'll take to pack our stuff, when I'll have the time to pack with DS etc etc. Also,I'm always listening out for DS to wake which is probably keeping me up, aargh!

How is the screaming now Writer? Hope he's stopped?

same here. 2 week old df1. Wife and I are destroyed. Since birth we've had cluster feeding. Wife gave up bf after 1 week with 10 min intervals of feeding and sleeping for 7 days drove her to break down. 2nd week started off better with a couple of 90ml feeds followed by 2hr sleeps but after 1 day has changed to 2-3hr feeds of 30ml, roughly 30 mins apart. Baby refuses the bottle to root like crazy, kicking and screaming. Then it takes another 5-20ml, in cycles up to 90-100ml max, then sleeps for maybe 20mins before repeating the above. Totally wrecked and the baby is sleeping less and less. Doing skin to skin, burping, and all the midwife advice jazz. Does this chaos ever end? Settling in for another night of 5 minute micro sleeps. I'm used to some sleep deprivation from academia, but worried that my wife hasn't been to sleep for 2 weeks now :(

Micro~ it totally gets easier! Newborns are the worst, trust me! I have just been told I have quite severe post natal depression due to struggling so much at the start> this doesn't mean your wife will suffer too though.

You need to fill baby up to get a good nights sleep. He/she needs to feel very full and cosy before she will stay asleep.

Try the following:

1. use whitenoise to help settle the baby.
2. feed normal amount. Stop, change nappy, wake baby up a little and then feed again. Mine used to fall asleep whilst I was feeding and needed waking up.
3. don't spend too long feeding! Try to get it all done in 30-40 minutes
4. sleep as soon as the baby sleeps. Easier said then done
5. only 1 of you should ever be up feeding baby, one of you should always be sleeping- even during the day! It really doesn't need two of you... And finally 6) name sure baby isn't too hot/cold. Keep away from draughts, and make sure he/she feels compact without feeling smothered. My baby slept with towels round her to help her feel safe, she hated having too much space, she was 4lb though.

I feel for you, I really do but everyone goes through this. You will come out the other end soon. You have also come to the right place for advice. Other, more experienced mummy's, will be along soon to offer more (and probably better) advice.

Good luck.

(Ps- let your darling wife sleep lots! Giving birth is emotionally draining as well as physically, she might seem fine to you- that's because women who give birth are like Super Heros, underneath they can suffer. )

I think I fed him sometime around 3 and he went back to sleep in his cot, but again lifted him in with me around 4:30-5ish because he was thrashing around semi in his sleep and keeping me awake. He always calms down and stays still next to me. However he was cooing and kicking his legs at 6:30 which was not cool. New rule: we can be awake but we don't get up until after 7!

miconaut - welcome to the thread but sorry it's because of what a tough time you are having, it really is exhausting. I found the first few weeks absolutely draining and if it wasn't for my DHs support I think I would have cracked so I think it's wonderful how supportive you are being to your wife. When DS was newborn and up until a month old he was needing feeding about 13-14 times in a 24 hour period and each session of changing, feeding, winding and settling would easily take an hour, and then 1.5 hours later I was up doing it again. My DH used to sit up with me and keep me company and it really helped. However, seeing as your baby is formula fed then perhaps you should take johulls advice about taking it in turns to sleep as then you can alternate who does the feeds whilst the other one sleeps in a spare room. I.e could you have a 3 hourly session with baby while your wife slept and then switch over? You do have my sympathy as it is horrendous - I was an emotional wreck for up to 5 weeks purely because of sleep deprivation. It is so, do important that you and your wife get some sleep so seriously consider taking it in turns to attend to the baby. The worst thing is that we have no idea why babies do the things they do, their behaviours are erratic and all we can do is guess as to how to look after them and take each day as it comes. It will get better it's just a case of waiting for the day you come and trying to find ways to cope with the stress and tiredness. The positive point you have is that as your baby is formula fed it means other people can help - do you have friends or family who could come and sit with the baby during the day whilst you and your wife catch up on some sleep?

johull - sorry to hear that you've been told you have PND - do they want you to start medication or is it a case of the GP and HV are going to support you by talking to you regularly etc?

cariad - I'd be stressed about moving too!! Do you have any one to help with the packing??

DS didn't fall asleep until 23.30pm last tonight, it was an absolute nightmare!!! Listening to that for 3.5 hours just about pushed me over the edge. He slept through till 7, so the 7.5 hour stretch was nice but I am too drained by all the screaming to fully appreciate it this morning. Normally he falls back asleep after his first feed of the morning but not today, he's just being really grizzly.

polly, writer, I'm right there with you with the screaming. We had that almost non stop between 10 and 12.40 last night DH has an important meeting today so he got to sleep in the spare room lucky sod while I stayed in our room with DS. I'm afraid to say it but I think this has become the new normal for us as he's been doing this screaming for a week now.

cariad moving is one of the most stressful things, I wouldn't be surprised at all if that's keeping you awake. I know it helps some people to make lists of things they need to do or worries that they have. Could you keep a notepad and pen by your bed so that if you find yourself lying awake thinking about the move you can write down the things you need to do/problems you need to solve and come back to them in the morning?

micro congratulations on your new baby! I second what other posters have said: it will get better but it just feels overwhelmingly awful in the first few weeks. I remember when DH and I brought our baby home and he wouldn't sleep anywhere but on one of our chests and we were SO exhausted. I think we both secretly thought we might have made a terrible mistake

Now he's 6 months old, a real sweetie, and much easier to look after despite his current hobby of shrieking at us of an evening Taking turns with the baby so the other one can sleep is great advice.

Hello writer- I have to have an appointment today. I have a feeling it will be medicated. I thought everything would be easier (mentally)?after having a baby. I can't believe I'm here again.

Good luck today for your appointment johull