Can we have an honest discussion about combined feeding

[LavalavalavaLamp]

I am currently breastfeeding my 10 week old with 2 x 100ml formula top ups a day. This was born out of necessity as she wasn't gaining very much weight at all.
I resisted formula for longer than I should have for a few reasons which seem unimportant now:
I was told that the cereals in formula would stretch her stomach, increasing the chance of her being overweight in later life.
I was told that even a small amount of formula would have a negative impact on her gut.
I had in my mind that I wouldn't mixed feed, too much effort, I would do one or the other.
Also all the usual breast is best stuff all medical professionals tell you when you're pregnant.

I am now finding the mix effective in weight gain, sterilising bottles isn't that much effort and I still have the convenience of bfing most of the day and all night. I also now realise that the above is not necessarily accurate.

I am also told (again, I've no idea how accurate this is) that a new study shows no difference in bf or ff children.

I feel that the emphasis is on the benefit of exclusively breastfeeding but I wonder if mixed feeding is actually a much more practical solution for the health of both mother and child. What are your thoughts and experiences?

I think things only really get heated between mums on MN forums rather than in rl!! For the most part I don't think mums really care (or even know)how other people feed their babies. It's just when you're asked you tend to pick out the best/worst examples of something. We tend to talk about it in a much more "how do you find this..." or "have you ever had this.."way rather than in any way judge.

Most people I know ended up mixed feeding even though we all wanted to EBF and beat ourselves up when we started topping up. Everyone's situation is different and if it works for you and keeps you sane, as well as providing baby with sufficient food and also some immunity, then great.

My case - baby 1 I had hardly any milk thanks to a catastrophic PPH. If I'd been made to EBF I'd have given up entirely. The NCT BF counsellor actually advised mixing in my case and it meant I was able to BF for some feeds until 9 months.

Baby 2 was in NICU and due to a specific problem needed to be given formula. We tried BF for about 6 weeks, we tried expressing, and in the end we turned to formula only.

Leedy some midwives are most unhelpful - for example despite being told that formula feeding was medically necessary at one point by the NICU team, she came up and told me off quite nastily for 'allowing' it.

Or the night where one lovely MW said 'any time of day and night call and we'll come and help you with latch, talk you through it etc.' and when I called it was the next shift and I got a complete bollocking for 'bothering' them, that it was a natural thing and we just had to figure it out for ourselves.

I'm glad to see a thread about this as so many people don't know that you can do this. It worked for us as a family for all the reasons already pointed out here. I was never comfortable feeding in restaurants etc, so always took a bottle with me. It also gave me an extra couple of hours sleep in the early days that helped me recover and helped my enjoy and remember more of the early weeks.

The one thing that always saddens me is that when people say they didn't b/feed they almost always explain why. That's the problem - the 'help' and info has become a pressure and it leaves women explaining their feeding decisions to total strangers!

I mix fed my DS (13 years ago) and it worked out well but you know what, it is such a tiny aspect of bringing up a child and there is so much angst about feeding - when your child gets to be a stroppy difficult teenager you will look back and laugh at the energy you spent worrying about feeding - that will be the least of your problems .

And Nicky is quite right, the Mumsnet attitude towards how you feed your baby is certainly not reflected in RL.

I had a bad PPH with my first (who had a tongue tie that had to be cut twice) and despite doing everything (and I mean everything!) I couldn't fully breastfeed (I managed around 80%) so was forced to mix feed and it certainly gave me a little more freedom which I have to admit I do miss a little now I am ebf no.2.

I read some interesting research recently, an American study which looked at mixed feeding in different cultures. It found that mixed feeding was much more accepted amongst the Latino and African American subjects... and these groups seemed to have no problems with nipple confusion etc.

I mixed with dd1. Mainly as I had shit advice. Til I found here anyway.

I topped up. Using ready made bottles. Mostly at night, simply as it helped me in the dark. Also, I didn't know before hand what to expect. I had no massive desire to bf. Or bottle. Just feed. I bought Avent with dh as we panicked wondering what would happen if I didn't have an alternative.

Dd1 was an amenable baby. She was happy so long as fed. She switched with little concern as I cried in the dark with sore nipples lack of sleep poor posture weight of the world...

Dd2 was horrendous. Having done dd1 for a year I fully expected it to work. I had 2 wks of hell as my nips re got used to it. I bled. She swallowed so much blood she coughed it up. I felt awful. Dh was very supportive. Sore nips left me in tatters. The pain is toe curling. I'm cringing now. Left csec pain in the dark tbh! I tried bottles but she was far less keen. Very fussy. Very reflux. It was an awful year til she stopped projectile vomming.

The thing is with marketing, and what you don't know til you have done it once, is that it deals with generalisations because it has, whether bf or bottle or mix, to appeal to as many as experiences as poss. And you as a new parent have no experience.

That's why it's so lonely. So frightening. So laden with ideals. It's only by support off here dh and I got to a year the first time and persevered a second. It still is the hardest thing I have ever done. And I am deeply grateful to this board for the help received. I watch now and pay back where able.

I found this article really really interesting: breastfeedingwithoutbs.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/las-dos-and-breastfeeding-diversity.html

It suggests that in cultures where mixed feeding is the norm, the result is more breast feeding for longer. Whereas in cultures that advocate exclusive breast feeding there are lower rates of any bf and mixed feeding does lead to earlier ending of bf.

This is possibly because for those aiming to ebf, mixed feeding is an indicator of bf problems whereas for those aiming to mix feed it is not associated with underlying bf problems.

Sorry so my major points I think were buying bottles up front in panick but trying bf, crikey that's a financial outlay as is ready mades. And the second being marketing. I'm really not sure even now what would improve that.

I wanted to use bottles and my ds did drink ebm in a bottle up to 4mo then refused so he is/was ebf. If he'd continued to take bottles I would probably have tried switching to formula by now (9mos)

Hmmm. I have some difficulty with the notion that it's all a big fuss over nothing, hahaha, and that in years to come you'll look back and wonder why on earth you got so worried about it....

Because that is not always true. Some women carry their feeding experiences and their sadness about them for years and years - decades in fact. Grandmothers in their 70s have shared their personal stories with me, with tears in their eyes.

I also think the idea that 'you'll laugh about it in time' minimises the very powerful feelings women may have now - these feelings may not be entirely rational, or even logical....but they are real and they matter. It is understandable, that when a mother has a dream that she will continue to feed her baby fully at her breast, and it is not working out, that she is sad and disappointed....sometimes very sad, and even tortured.

She needs support and understanding, practical help with whatever formula feeding she is doing, and not, please, a roll of the eyes and jollying along into an idea that it's all a mountain out of a molehill....please :(

OP - meant to answer your question about a 'new study' showing no difference between bf and ff children.

This was well picked over a few months ago on mumsnet and elsewhere.

You can see a view of it here:

bfmed.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/reports-on-breastfeeding-sibling-study-are-vastly-overstated/

What happened in this study was that siblings were studied, and in some indices, bf/ff did not appear to make much difference....but some of the indices were strange and not associated with feeding anyway, and others would not be likely to trump family similarities anyway. The basic facts about health outcomes - infections in particular - are not challenged at all by this study.

Sometimes mumsnet seems like a different world to me - everyone I know in real life mix fed to some extent, and for varying lengths of time including to toddler age. A couple due to problems breastfeeding, but mostly just through choice - to get a bit more sleep, to be able to go out without expressing, to avoid feeding in public.

So few people exclusively breastfeed to 6 months, surely most breastfeeders do use some formula?

I would be interested to know how many do actually EBF until 6 months?

My DS is 12 weeks old and I had a letter from my GP surgery today to invite me to their upcoming session on weaning.

I have been called a martyr for wanting to EBF and it isn't nice

Isn't that whet the UNICEF figures measure? So at 6 months EBF rates are around 1%, but many babies are eating solids at that age, so will bot be EBF.

I have known many mothers to never use formula at all- I have never used it, and I have 6 or 7 friends who have never used it either ( but they are women I have met at breastfeeding support groups).

I have been called a child abuser for breastfeeding my children.

Mixed feeding worked really well for my DD3. I had ebf both previous DD, and suffered pain, mastits, thrush etc without the ability to have a break. One FF each day with DD3 just allowed me to physically and psychologically take a break. It's not for everyone, but I wish I'd been open to it sooner with my other DD.

EAT Mum, I'm sorry yo uhad such a bad time.

For Mums who do have difficulties it comes down to finding good support which can be hard, and not always found within the NHS.
For Mums who are having difficulties I can understand why bottled formula may seem like a welcome break. For those of us who found breastfeeding easy, of like some of my frends who had their problems solved quickly and effectively formula was never a consideration.

For me formula would have been far too much trouble.

Many people who find breastfeeding easy use formula too.

As for EBF to 6 months - 88% of babies have had formula by 6 months, and 99% have had something other than breastmilk (other milk/solids).

Hi writer -- sorry to chip in slightly off topic but the letter from your GP is likely inviting you to a session about introducing solid food or 'weaning onto solids' not about weaning as in stopping bf. The terminology is confusing though!

Sorry kate - I didn't make myself very clear I knew it was about weaning onto solids but I just found it odd that they'd do it when DS is 13 wheels old when we are forever being told not to wean until 6 months. It sends a bit of a mixed message.

They want to catch people before they start weaning. No point running a session at 5-6 months to tell people why they should wait if all the babies are already on solids by then.

deepbluetr-

tiltok-I've often thought that maybe I've made a mountain out of a mole hill (a MOUNTAIN was certainly made-I was absolutely distraught when told by the mw to give DS formula) until I spoke to a friend who is still reduced to tears about not being able to bf her son. He's 19.

No one should be called a martyr for ebf. When people make unwelcome comments about how you feed your baby they're being ...well, rude. If you bumped into someone in the supermarket you wouldn't dream of having a good root around their trolley and passing comment on what they eat.

I do think that more information about mix feeding would be helpful though- especially since so many women do it. I found the info given to me when pregnant on bf to be rubbish. A bit more honesty about the levels of commitment and pain sometimes needed wouldn't necessarily put women off but make them better prepared if things don't go to plan. I really thought that giving f meant the end of bf.

Oops, sorry writer! I'm projecting my own confusion about 'weaning' onto you!

It is really early but I think they just send the letters out early to give everyone a chance to attend, and also to try to deter people from introducing food too soon IYSWIM (i.e. they want to see people at around the 4 month mark when they might be considering introducing solids as that's what their parents did or because jars of baby food say 'suitable from 4 months' etc). They made it really clear at the session I went to that no solids should be introduced before 6 months.