day 6 pp going to peices

[Jellymum1]

why is breast feeding so hard. im so sore and tearful and I dont know what im doing or if im doing it right.

:( :(

Can you call the midwifery service and get someone to see you this evening?

Even if they have been today already.

I dont know? can you do that? she came yesterday and isnt due until day ten now. I will try and ring.

Yes you can. Do you have a breastfeeding cafe you could go to locally? Try see someone today too though.

Crying is pretty normal to be honest. Newborns are tough.

Congratulations though - I promise it won't feel this hard for long.

Breast feeding is very hard, but worth it
La leche helpline 0845 120 2918?

Breast feeding is bloody hard. I remember it being around the 6day mark that I got really fed up and stressed about it. The euphoria and newness is wearing off and the whole thing just hits you. That was the point my DH took over a bit and started giving the odd bottle. It gave me a rest and reassurance that she'd had a good feed!
I went on to EBF both of mine til they were 14 months.
What did the midwife say the last time they came?
Is the baby latching well. (It does still hurt if they are, sadly!) Is it feeding for long periods?
Is it sleeping or does it seem distressed? It it weeing/pooing/gaining weight?

thank you! I will ring asap! I thought we had turned a corner but today has been very hard again and my other daughter is 4 and is struggling with the lack of attention from me ( as in I cant run around after her like she is used to). I really dont want to give up.

hi smartie. midwife said she was latching well. she is feeding about every hour to two today. (normally only like that at night) my breasts feel huge and hard I just googled and it seems I should express some so im going to try and do that now. I failed miserably to ebf with dd1 I never got past day 2. I dont want to turn back this time. last night wad the first night we got some sleep really.she had been feeding short and often through the night but last night fed longer and at about two hours. I am hoping the expressing helps...embarrasingly I just thought you expressed to give in a bottle I didnt realise you should do it if you got full.

Congrats on your newborn - I nearly cracked up on day 4 so you're doing well :)
Re expressing, I'd be careful only to express enough to make yourself more comfortable - otherwise you're signalling to your body to make more milk, which it sounds like you don't need! What you describe sounds like engorgement and it should settle down once your body realises you haven't had triplets
Dd is 3wks and I'm still willing her to wake and feed sometimes, to ease my rock hard boobs!

What day did your milk come in? Feeding that frequently, especially in the beginning, is completely normal - your baby is 'ordering in' what they need. Saying that, if you're really sore and your baby doesn't ever seem satisfied, then it's worth getting tongue tie ruled out. Midwife can do this, but better to get along to a dedicated bf support group of some sort.
Good luck :)

I have never expressed - you don't have to do it if you're full, and as Misty says you might end up with too much milk that way.

Normal, what you're saying is so very very normal. Don't give up if you don't want to. Your 4 year old will get used to it. Until she does, bribe her! Joke kind of

Can you ring your HV in the morning and find out where the nearest BF clinic is as well?

I wouldn't express as it will only make you produce more. Mine were like rocks from day 2 until day 12 with DD2 and if she came away quickly I would hit the other side of the room! She's now 7 months and feeding as I type this with one hand.

You're doing brilliantly - be warned, both mine had day ten growth spurts and fed All. Day. Is your DP on leave still? Can someone else help with DD1?

This gets so much easier so fast. You are doing great!

Hi Jelly, it's bloody hard work at first. Now, it's pretty much my biggest achievement in life. It will get easier, and especially if you can get lots of support.

Feeding every hour or two sounds quite normal, and this wil happen a bit over the first few weeks as your baby has growth spurts, or is regulating your supply for what she needs.

I expressed a bit off when I felt uncomfortable full - usually in the shower to stop myself from bursting. This feeling won't last too long - it will all settle down and you'll stop that engorged feeling (this doesn't mean you have supply problems though - there is always milk there, whether it's ready in full boobs, or ready to be summoned by baby sucking).

I absolutely second a bf cafe - these places saved me when I was struggling. Everyone was so kind, and had some actual time to spend talking me through positions and latch etc. They also tend to have juice and sandwiches, or at least some biscuits :) Everyone there will be delighted to see a brand new baby too!

Drinks lots of water, eat tons of cake (breastfeeding is a free pass to eat cake). Good luck, and super congratulations on your lovely new baby girl.

Beginnings - I'm doing exactly the same - 7m on my arm sleep-feeding, phone on other hand.

Fr the first weeks with DD2 the TV was my friend. DD1 watched a lot of cbeebies.
I expressed a bit when I was engorged but don't over do it or you may start overproducing.
If she is feeding well and gaining weight etc.. Then you are doing it right.
It just takes perseverance. It's painful, and you will want to give up with every feed for a while.
We mixed fed, one bottle and day, and it saved my sanity for the first few weeks. We dropped the bottle after a while and carried on feeding for over a year.
Keep at it and get some support and reassurance from your HV tomorrow.

thank you so so much every one. I am feeling a little less neurotic now and kind of a little pleased that I am not alone and its drove other people mad too. I just thank god have been able to get dd1 to bed while dd2 has waited with dh downstairs so im feeling much less rubbish and guilty. looks like I still have a little way to go before things improve. I will search online for a group

Fr the first weeks with DD2 the TV was my friend. DD1 watched a lot of cbeebies.

This.

Anyone else want to enter Mastermind with Raa Raa the Noisy Little Lion as a specialist subject? DD1 watched 20 minutes of TV a day until DD2 arrived when she was 16 months!! Not anymore!!

Glad we've all helped Jellymum1. You just hang on in there. I had horrible guilt about not giving DD1 enough time. Part of that is you getting used to being a mum of two, part of it is hormones I reckon. Whatever it is, you get over it relatively quickly so don't worry about it.

Now that DD1 one is asleep go and see if you can get a bit of kip for a little while on your own. That'll set you up better for tonight. I know your mind is probably racing a bit. And maybe you'll feel a bit odd leaving DD2 downstairs with DH, but a lie down in a dark room, even for half an hour will do you good. Then, when he brings her up (DD2 had a newborn roar on her the likes of which no-one who had ever heard a baby had heard before. DH used to run up the stairs two at a time when she was hungry in order to avoid waking DD1, and I'd be awake with the boob out by the time he got to me).

Do look for a local group - if you're in SE London, PM me and I can offer some suggestions.

And keep posting - a thread like this one kept me sane when DD1 was the same age as your DD2. I sobbed and sobbed as I read out the responses to DH.

haha beginnings that really made me laugh!! my husband is being good tho as we ff dd1 he is at a loss and thinks he isnt helping but he is. he is making dinners doing school run etc. I have managed 4 little sporadic naps today so hopefully will cope better tonight. she is doing well on the left breast but the right one is sooooo sore! I feel awful but feel such dismay when its feeding time and such dread. I really want to get past that. the midwife was a bit shit really.. said everything looks ok ect but I don't think they have enough time do they.

My experience is that BF is just painful for a few weeks. No matter how good the supply or latch is it just hurts!
It really is a battle of will. You have to really want it.
I wanted to give up with every feed. I dreaded and resented it.
Until suddenly it was just ok. And I just kept on til I wanted my life back!
Once your supply is established I would definitely advise to attempt a bit of mixed feeding. It was such a life line. It meant I could feed her and then go to bed, my DH did the next feed so I got about 4-5 hours sleep at least before it being my turn again.
It doesn't work for all, some people are very against it and some babies won't feed from a bottle but I believe it to be worth a try.

Glad I made you laugh . I live to serve.

Your DH sounds as if he's fab :). I'm sure he's being really helpful. It's such a busy tiring few weeks when they're this tiny.

I'm not a breastfeeding counsellor or anything, my experience starts and stops with my two DDs, but I found on my really sore side holding her in the rugby ball hold helped. Has anyone shown you that? I'm sure if you google it you'll find it.

Funnily enough actually saying "big mouth, big mouth" to them actually made them probably just in my head open their mouths wider which meant they were getting more breast tissue which is important.

And remember not to lift your boob to bring it to them, you have to let them come to the boob.

Sorry if you've heard all of this before, but all of that helped me.

Glad you managed to get a bit of kip today, hope tonight is ok. I was thinking of you at 3am this morning as my little sod darling was having a quick feed. In her defence, she has a cold that woke her up. While tiring, those middle of the night feeds are lovely. Just her snuffling, and making her funny little noises. Just the two of us - it's a lovely feeling. I hope you get to enjoy this time, even through the sore bits.

Jelly mum - congratulations on your new baby and well done for persevering! My DS is 8 weeks old and I have nearly cracked on 3-4 occasions. The first was when he was 2 days old, then 8 days old, then 3 weeks and again at 7 weeks. Breast feeding is incredibly hard work and absolutely drains you - people cannot understand how emotionally and physically difficult it can until they've been there themselves. I'm still not 100% confident with what I'm doing and in the last 10 days I've visited a Lactation Consultant, phoned a helpline, joined a BF group, had a home visit from a Peer Support and seen a breast feeding coordinator - all of this I did because I'm still having issues. The point I'm trying to make is don't be hard on yourself just because things don't feel right or perfect straight away - it's a skill that both you and baby have to learn together, it's a learning curve for you both and it can be very hard a t times. I remember the awful feeling of engorgement , the dread as feed time approaches and the frustration that DS could feed ok from one breast but not the other etc - we have all been where you are and come out the other side, just like you will.

At one point I was close to cracking up I think, I was so focused on getting breast feeding 'right' that I lost all sense of reality I think. With my hindsight my advice to you would be to give it time, things will improve and all you can do is take it day by day. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help, I wish I'd done it sooner - the support out there by Breast Feeding Peer Supporters is amazing, it's just knowing how to access it.

Definitely keep coming on to the forum to talk about your feelings and problems, there will always be someone who can offer advice and reassurance.

Keep going, you are doing brilliantly

I agree with the rugby ball thing.
It was a bit awkward but did help with pain.
And telling them (and demonstrating !) to open their mouths does help.

Smartipants79 glad it wasn't just me that thought the mouth opening tricks worked.

And writerwannabe well done for sticking with it. You're so nearly there - it really will get so much easier really soon.

writer I had a csection so am not mobile enough yet but as soon as I can walk further than around the house I definately am going to a bf group. I have been googling to see if there is any that come out to the house but cant find anything. the nearest le leche is too far at the moment.

so I went to bed at 6 until 7.30 leaving bsby with dh then got up and fed dd2 fed myself and gave dd1 goodnight hugs. fed again at 9 for 30 mins and dashed to bed for an hour again then dh brought baby up at 10.15..and she has fed constant since then? is this normal? I feel better prepared as having had those naps today and this evening but im sure by 2am I will be insane again. if I put her down she wakes and goes back on for a loooooonnnngg feed and so it continues.

Totally normal. She's trying to get your supply up so feeds a lot. She will settle down. Ds is 4 and got babysat by the tele a lot but dd is now 5 and a bit months and still ebf. It does get easier but the early days are hard.

Totally normal and I agree with QuirtNinja about getting your supply up. DD2 used to camp out. She'd feed, then doze on the boob for 20 mins, feed, then doze etc etc. someone else on MN told me that it's so that you don't leave them under a bush or in a cave while you go off with the other hunter gatherers. I thought that analogy was quite nice.

The fact that you're doing this while recovering from a section is amazing. Hope it's not too sore

Jelly - I had a CS too which I think makes establishing BF even harder. It was a nightmare in the hospital for me as I couldn't pick my baby up, it hurt to have him lying on me and so I couldn't have much quality time with him to do skin-to-skin contact or to allow him to get to know my body and follow his natural instincts. Contact your Midwife tomorrow, she will give you the details for your closest BF Support Group.

I remember the constant night time feeding - it's exhausting isn't it? I thinks that nearly made me quit at Day 8! I hope you have managed to get some sleep