Am I doing it all wrong? A little support needed!

[Curlynoodles]

Dd has just turned 6 months and she is ebf. Afte reading about nipple confusion I decided not to introduce a bottle or dummy until she was about 8 weeks old. When I tried she refused them both. I wasn't too concerned about the dummy but got a little anxious about the bottle refusal. I googled and found this was quite common so went down the line of trying various bottles and teats but no success! I didn't want to give up bfing but just wanted to introduce the bottle so I could get a break.

6 months on and still no luck! I can't say I have religiously tried the bottle and after speaking to the Hv we have decided to try and get her used to the cup instead so have been giving her water each day in it. She's getting there.

We have no routine as she feeds on demand but I'm starting to feel a bit like I'm doing it all wrong because I'm worrying about how I will be able to leave her when I go back to work (which isn't for a few months) if she won't take the bottle. I'm worried that I should have tried more to get her used to the bottle. Should I have pushed more of a routine on her?

Bit of a confidence boost needed really I think'

Isn't think your situation is at all unusual, and I don't think you've done anything wrong.

Plenty of people advocate starting a bottle a day at a particular age, or that you can miss the window for using a bottle, but we never know if it would've been any different as there's never a control group!

How old will she be when you go back to work? If she'll take a cup she'll probably manage with bf in the morning and evenings and drinking from a cup during the day. She may do some reverse cycling, but she may not.

By a year she should be getting her nutrition from food more than milk, so there's hopefully not a long gap to cover.

She'll be 10 months old but I'm thinking about it now because I don't want to get to 10 months and panic that I have to leave her without knowing if she'll take a bottle/cup. We have just started food weaning so she is only just starting to take a few spoonfuls so bf is still her main food at the mo. I guess I haven't really thought ahead enough to the point of her being on 3 meals. At this point that seems like a long way off!

Also what's reverse cycling?

I seem to remember dd started using a Tommee tippee sippy cup from 7months ish. Maybe just start letting her play with a cup alongside weaning? I also went back to work when dd1 was 10 months, I bf 7am/7pm and she had formula in a cup mid afternoon at that age, worked for us.

I wouldn't worry about how she'll be at 10 months - at that age DS had a bf first thing, breakfast, cup of milk (drank an oz at most!) mid-morning, lunch, snack mid afternoon, bf late afternoon, tea, bf at bedtime.

By 10mo my babies were bfing morning and night and drinking from cups in between. You have loads of time. I know it's hard to imagine now but by then food will be a much more major part of her diet. I think routine is irrelevant here tbh so please don't beat yourself up about it.

There's also a good chance that when the chips are down and she realises you really aren't around then she will be more tolerant of the bottle. Dc3 never liked bottles (the other two switched happily between boob and bottle) but did take some once when I had no choice but to leave him.

Keep going with the cup and take your time with the weaning - enjoy.

Thank you for your replies. I find myself comparing how we are getting on with friends and their past experiences. Then there are the 'unhelpful' friends who don't seem to get that I can't go out or meet up with bringing dd as she won't take the bottle. Then I question am I doing it wrong or is it them? I know it's stupid to compare but like and DH is really reassuring but I just feel like I need to hear from other mums that it will be ok and that I'm not doing it wrong!

Reverse cycling is where they catch up on missed feeds during the night. Not great if you're at work during the day!

It's not an automatic - as others have said, they can manage with a cup and bf when you're home.

Don't worry curly there isn't really a right or wrong on this kind of thing. It's OK to do things however you like, even if it's not the same way your friends did it. Unless it's making you or your baby unhappy then it's all good. (within reason obviously but you know what I mean!)

Having said that, if you really do want her to take a bottle, have you tried going out for a few hours and leaving dd with dh and a bottle of ebm? It's common for babies to refuse a bottle from their mother as they know the boob is right there.

Then again you might both be happy with her not having a bottle and that's cool too.

I have 'hid' upstairs but have caved and come back down fairly quickly. I just felt each time that I didn't have to get her on the bottle yet and we would try again another day..now we're 6 months on! Ha.

I do love bfing and I'm not ready to stop but I guess it would be nice to go and get my hair cut or meet friends for a lunch without the worry of if she will feed from the bottle. I suppose I'll never know unless I try but I guess I'm scared to leave her when she's upset too. This mummy business is really stressful sometimes

Perhaps in a couple of weeks when she's eating a bit more you could make an appointment to get your hair done and leave her and just go and do it? The worst that could happen at that stage is she has a drink (from her cup) and a yoghurt or something.

Yeah sounds good. My hair is a mess! I have had 6 months of pulling it back into a bun and those pesky greys are rearing their heads.

Thank you for your replies