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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

DW still in agony after 2 weeks - your thoughts please

91 replies

Rollingpapa · 09/08/2006 16:09

OK, so hubby here is rather worried about DW.

Wonderful new baby (DS), v chilled, capable of 3-4 hour sleeps (mainly during the day), but --

DW literally curling her toes in agony during every feed. Most so at latch-on.

Have tried:
shields - Medela smalls, DS didn't draw so well
pump - apparently v painful for DW, but in different way
Changing position - from across to underarm. Kind of helped, but not much
Breast-feeding expert - at local hospital, who said that the latch-on was good, but that she was still getting ridge on top of nipple

My question: is it meant to hurt at the beginning?! DW really frustrated by the feeling that she is doing something "wrong" and that the pain is all her "fault"

She's currently with her mum, and I'm in the office, so this is by way of gathering experienced thoughts on the subject...

Thank you anyone who can chip in!

OP posts:
FourJays · 10/08/2006 14:22

I think all the advice about "bad positionning" just made me feel guilty. Like I wasn't a good mother. Don't listen to it.
BF just hurts some people and not others.

buggly · 10/08/2006 14:26

first time ever on a message thingy - am at the end of my tether and energy...

My ds is 18 months old - settled himself to sleep in his cot with no problem and slept through from 3 months (so lucky !) Then he started confidently walking at approx 12 months. At this point he seemed to develop a fear of his cot and would scream until he was sick when put in it awake, or if he woke up in it during the night. After 10 days we gave up putting him in it and he transferred to sleeping on a duvet on the floor and waking up at least twice a night screaming - it usually takes at least an hour to calm him down and settle him back to sleep - and I am exhausted ! I have tried settling him to sleep everytime with the same familiar soft toy - this heldped for the first few weeks but then he threw it away. If I leave him crying he makes his way to the stairgate I have put over his door and throws himself against it repeatedly trying to get out of the room. I would dearly love to get him to sleep in his own (small) bed and to be able to settle himself to sleep after his bedtime story. Any ideas much appreciated........

Original poster
Rollingpapa · 10/08/2006 14:29

Amazed by your response - thank you, and please keep comments coming!

Breaking news: mastitis diagnosed this morning, where it definitely wasn't there at beginning of the week

lazycow - got the details, thank you for such
a quick ping

MarscusGarvey - we're based in west London

ztt - not sure what you mean, can you be more specific please

Californifrau - gauze is great idea, think DW may already have some of this or something like it. Will check

Possumhead, CarolinaMao - Guiness at bedtime! Fantastic, will recommend!

Pointydog, lovecloud, fourjays, ajwaterfield and everyone - fingers crossed that, in the end, it just gets better...

OP posts:
youknowwhat · 10/08/2006 14:41

Just want ot confirm it does get better as the nipples are healing.
Lansinoh cream was agod send.
Don't if this is the case for our DW but my problem was actaully that my nipples were too big for DS monuth. So the ridge effect or lipstick effect disappeared with time as he started to get bigger. My bf cousellor was sure it would NOT last more than 5 or 6 weeks (yes I know it is already a long long time...)

FourJays · 10/08/2006 14:42

It will. I promise.

MarscusGarvey · 10/08/2006 14:46

If you go to the ABM website, you can get Pam Lacey's number. She's wonderful!

Where in W London? Sorry incredibly nosey and also just seeing where you are in relation to me. I'm in Crouch End and have a sister in Ladbroke Grove

Smellen · 10/08/2006 14:50

Rollingpapa
Mastitis is grim. But you can help your DW get through it by:

  • applying hot flannels to rash on breast prior to feeding (we used to microwave a damp flannel for 30 seconds to heat it up quickly, and reapply it several times)
  • taking ibuprofen (anti-inflammatory & pain relief)
  • wearing quite loosely fitting clothes and going bra-less for a while
  • massaging the boob(s) during feeding (quite tricky - this might be where you come in!) You need to apply quite strong pressure, massage from the other side of the lumps towards the areola (you will feel the lumps in the breast tissue, they feel hard and mine were the size of coffee beans, but I guess they could all be different)
  • get your DW to relax in a warm bath twice a day - at least 20mns & it can help to take a warm shower before feeding.
  • if your DW gets flu-ey symptoms (and they can come on really quickly) she may feel so wiped out that she can barely pick up the baby. Your doctor will be able to prescribe antibiotics which she may want to take (although other MN-ers might have something to add here!) After my first bout of mastitis, I kept a packet of antibiotics in the house "just in case". I didn't have to use them, but you feel so rough, so quickly, it reassured me to know they were there.

You sound like a caring & considerate bloke - my own DH was the main reason why I persevered and am still bf-ing 8 months later. Although you cannot physically breastfeed your little one, the support you give your wife now is invaluable and will pay off. It's a shockingly tough time, but it does get better. I wish the three of you well.

Smellen · 10/08/2006 14:51

PS Some people can be allergic to lanolin, in which case you might want to try other brands of nipple cream. I found Kamilosan very cooling.

HTH

Mum2FunkyDude · 10/08/2006 15:05

Hi Rollingpapa, I can sympathize with the discomfort and pain. I on the otherhand decided for the welfare of my son, husband and my sanity to stop breastfeeding, I was very determined to give him breastmilk though and I have been expressing exclusively for the past 8 months, quite difficult but a hell of lot less painful and later on no pain or cracked nipples at all. I just thought I would not be able to bond with my son if all I think about was the fear of sore nipples, I guess what I want to say to your wife is that if she is determined about breastfeeding, by all means get all the help you need, but it is ok to want to think about yourself too, I've only just starting putting my son on follow on milk and he is fit, healthy and we love each other dearly

trogette · 10/08/2006 15:28

OK mastitis doesn't mean infection it means inflammation of the breast so if it's down to slow drainage (which poor positioning, which the ridge and cracked nipples are a definite sign of) it's a good idea to do the self-help stuff (best info is on the BfN website, linked earlier in the thread, under leaflets) before starting on antibiotics.

Pam Lacey is a Lactation Consultant in your region with lots of experience, she's also ABM chair.

JennyLee · 10/08/2006 15:50

yes, inflammation due to blockage which then becomes infected

trotskymow · 10/08/2006 16:02

Rollingpapa, has anyone also recommended DW puts cabbage leaves in her bra between feeds? Sounds odd, but it really helps with inflammation and soreness. got to get the door!!!

VladimirllichLeninQV · 10/08/2006 16:13

Agree with using lots of lansinoh or the palmers nipple cream (more like axl grease but it works).

Chicco mama or Lansinoh breastpads. (I had an immense irritation to ALL other breastpads - esp shop ownbrands including mothercare).

Using a finger to help open baby's mouth/lower jaw when trying to latch to create a wider latch. Check for mastitis AND thrush - which CAN cause tremendous amounts of pain.

I did have pain with both babies for 2-3 weeks (although 2nd time extended to 8 weeks due to thrush and mastitis). Have to say, that theoretically latch was good, but, both my children just have lovely rosebud mouths, which, whilst beautiful, were very small, and my nipples, ahem, large. So, until they grew a bit, there was little i could do.

I did manage to b/feed my DD until 7 months though, after a painful first few weeks, and my DS, 15 months (with whom I had 8 weeks of thrush and mastitis) I am still b/feeding.

Hope your DW feels better soon

VladimirllichLeninQV · 10/08/2006 16:15

OH, and congratulations on the birth of your baby

Janeybum · 10/08/2006 16:39

My one week old breastfeeds constantly throughout the night and sleeps all day long. I am sore and exhausted! When will it improve? Any tips on how to turn thnigs around?

tiktok · 10/08/2006 17:01

Janey, it's better to start a new thread, and then we don't all get confused about who we are talking to

Just click on the start a new conversation thing above

Having said that - if you're sore, get help with a check on the positioning. Sleeping more in the day than in the night is a newborn thing that most babies sort out....he's only a week and there's plenty of time to change. Check he;s not sleeping too much though - he needs to feed a lot day and night.

NappiesGalore · 10/08/2006 17:26

only got a moment to be on here so havnt read thread....

has anyone mentioned checking for a tonge tie? if not, asak midwife or doc about it. only accept response if you get the feeling they know what theyre talking about.

NappiesGalore · 10/08/2006 17:31

buggly -

just saw your post.

start a new thread. sounds like night terrors. people on here will have heaps of good advice for you. good luck!

pointydog · 10/08/2006 17:36

(Aside) I'm a newbie.

The fact that no one ever mentioned to me, as a miserable, sobbing new mum, that breastfeeding could be painful is my own personal sore point so I felt I really had to post on this thread.

Even now (and dd1 will be 10 tomorrow) I feel a kind of belated gratitude to posters who have shared their similar experiences.

FourJays · 10/08/2006 18:17

Oooh I'd forgotten about cabbage leaves. They were great but v smelly! Have to be savoy cabbage though for some reason.

I did the expressing thing for a bit like mum2funkydude. It worked really well, sorted out my guilt and I was still producing milk when it did all sort itself out. The thing about stopping bf is that it isn't a reversable decision (always!)

HAPPYMUMOF5 · 10/08/2006 19:22

I have every sympathy for your wife. All of mine hurt me terribly for about a month. It helped when a midwife told me to put a cushion under baby so that they were absolutely hoizontal to me. That and a chunk of Galaxy to take my mind of it a little!

chestnutter · 10/08/2006 19:38

Hurt me for the first 30 seconds (toecurling, as you describe), just for the first 3-4 weeks. Then the pain disappeared. Good luck to your wife, I have a feeling there's light at the end of her boobs...

suzi2 · 10/08/2006 19:50

Hope that once the cracks heal, things will improve. great advice here from the others and I can't really add anything. What a lovely DH you are rollingpapa! Much as my DH was supportive, I think he would rather curl up in the corner that speak to random mums he doesn't know about nipples!

drosophila · 10/08/2006 20:11

I am currently BFing 18mth old and it still hurts a bit. With DS it was agony (give me child birth any-day) but suddenly at about 10 weeks it got better. With DD it hurt for much longer and a BFIng counselor more or less told me to quit cos my nipples were so traumatised. I have had Mastitis as well which was only slightly more painful than the normal latch on pain.

My advice would be to mix feed (if there are no worries about allergies) and give her nipples a chance to recover. As the nipples improve the formula can be reduced. I honestly think the pain from breastfeeding can be underestimated. I have had drug free birth, slipped disc and a perforated ear drum none of which were nice but the pain I got while BFing was far worse and you are so emotionally worn out.

Is she fair skinned by any chance?

ukrainianmum · 10/08/2006 20:54

I never hurt with my dd who is 1,4years coz she never latched on to my breast so i was expressing milk till she was 8,5 m and it always hurt little bit at the beginning.