What would you tell an antenatal group about breastfeeding?

[PurplePidjin]

I've been asked to talk to the latest batch of mum to be about breastfeeding. Ds has just weaned at 15 months, and according to the mw who runs our breastfeeding group I'm an expert

So far i reckon:

it's the same amount of work as Ffs but all the hard stuff is in the first 4-6 months

formula isn't poison so don't feel guilty if you need to give it, for your own physical or mental health as much as your baby's

breastfeeding is nature's way of telling you to sit and rest after birth. you have achieved something by keeping your baby fed, if you manage dressed with a hot meal on the table you're superman

anything else?

Exactly what JRsandcoffee said! All the books led me to believe that it might be 'a bit painful' to start with, but once I'd got the hang of it, it would no longer hurt. It was toe-curlingly painful for several weeks! Obviously you don't want to put people off breastfeeding, but it's helpful to know the reality. I started to think I must be doing something wrong, but then one day I realised it didn't hurt any more and I was finally able to enjoy it. I just wish someone had told me that from the beginning.

I always tell people that;

a) bf is fab for lazy mum's as you get to sit around all day bf. You get to eat cake and you can sleep whilst the baby feeds at night next to you in bed.
b) the first 4 - 6 weeks are bad and difficult. However, if you persevere then it is the easiest and most convenient thing in the world. It is so easy to feed baby wherever you are and not have to remember to take stuff with you (refer back to lazy mum reference)
c) you get to hog your baby all to yourself as you are the only one who can feed them.

meer- you say it's helpful to know the reality- but for many no pain is the reality. You say women should be told it will hurt but that's not always the case. For many women it's completely pain free.
We need to impress that women have very different experiences, giving out a general warning of pain is not entirely helpful.

atthestrokeof I completely agree that it is important to make it clear that every woman is different and has different experiences. Same with childbirth really, except everyone expects that to be bad. For me, it honestly wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but the initial pain of breastfeeding was worse than I expected. For what it's worth, I breastfed my first for 16 months, and was sad when I stopped! I ended up loving it, but personally would prefer to have had clearer expectations on what breastfeeding might be like.

I think those who say stick to your own experiences are right. I bf DD for over 2 years so I feel like I know a fair amount about bf (thrush, mastitis, cluster feeding etc) but it is just my experience. My mum, on the other hand, trained as an NCT bf counsellor (about 20 years ago but still..!) and I was really impressed at the level of her knowledge and professionalism about it, even though her duration of bf experience was similar to mine, and 30-odd years ago to boot. I really struggled in the first few months and her advice was always great including being supportive of my decision when I felt like giving up (although I didn't in the end). Being able to deal with the physical and emotional issues around bf and give advice sensitively and appropriately is so important, I have huge respect for those who are properly trained and can do it.

On a more practical note, can you or the midwife hand out a sheet with all the helpline numbers and web addresses for BFN, NCT and LLL? Always useful to have them handy!

It's not a volunteer mother's job to tell a whole group about mastitis and thrush or giving advice about what to do if breastfeeding hits a problem or the baby is crying before milk comes in or any one of the many, many obstacles that may or may not happen to people :( :( She probably only has 30 mins.....

The midwife should be covering this sort of stuff.

Chocolate I don't know that book but that bf advice is poor. Yes babies can occasionally appear distressed and fractious half a day or so before the milk comes in. There are several ways of dealing with this - formula is not a good option if the mother wants to have the best chance of breastfeeding.

Is it possible to waot til the milk arrives before you start to feed?

Possibly worth mentioning that some women (maybe a third?) find breastfeeding really easy, many women find it tricky but may well find it works well if they can access good support (maybe half?), some find it very difficult, may well be able to feed if there is sufficient support but only they can decide if it's worth the effort seeing as we're in a country with clean water and formula.
My SIL was in the first group and apoligised that she couldn't advise me at all as she just shoved her breast at dn and it worked. I got through all the support people within 2 hours travelling time... (but dc2 was way easier!)

Best tip I got from antenatal bf class was what it means when they say "practically all women can bf with the right support" - have you seen a woman or two breastfeeding a baby, most days of your life? No? You haven't had enough cultural support. This is not your fault - take all the support you can find, but don't blame yourself if it's not enough.

Also to warn mothers that the bf helplines generally go to answerphones and local supporters may have moved on, so may take a while to track down support even in a large city. If you can find a bf group to visit pre-baby, it can help.

There is "milk" to start off. It's colostrum. It's really really good for babies. There are hormonal changes that occur after birth that help it turn into milk. Feeding babies colostrum frequently helps to ensure milk supply later. So I'm not sure why you would want to wait.
Here a re a few links about it.
2 types of milk
hormonal changes
milk production

Incidentally, (bearing chocolate's mention of giving baby a bottle of formula before milk came in), DS2 had to have formula before my milk came in.

This was because he had jaundice & low blood sugar, which was making him too sleepy to bf, and the paediatricians & midwives said that he needed a minimum volume of fluids to help treat the jaundice & blood sugar issues.

The midwives knew that I wanted to bf, so they gave him the extra milk as cup feeds because they said that giving newborns bottles can lead to them refusing the breast altogether.

Please please mention tongue tie. You won't have time to go into any details but it's so common as a cause of BF failing and yet so rarely mentioned in baby books. Just mention that it's common and if they have latch problems it is something to look into ASAP.

I also agree with comments about having information sheets about local breastfeeding support groups, and breastfeeding helplines to hand out.

And I agree with comments about mentioning that getting breastfeeding established can be tricky - this really took me by surprise with DS1, because I'd had a very naive idea that you'd just show a breast to the baby and they'd know what to do. That really, really, didn't work with DS1.

Oh it's you Pidj, hello!

purple yes sure, underwire on your breast tissue is never a good thing. But it's quite easy to see if it is on the breast or around it, and it is absolutely fine to wear properly fitting underwired bras. Bigger boobs - like they tend to be during BF - really need the support that only underwire gives. If you have just given birth and are not looking and feeling your most glamorous then having droopy boobs from unsupportive bras does not help.

Shadowfall, sometimes babies do indeed need formula early on for medical reasons.

Sometimes, this can be circumvented, though, by enabling the mother to hand express colostrum/milk, even if volumes are small.

Each case should be decided individually.

Glad things worked out for you :)

minipie, tongue tie is not a common reason for breastfeeding not working out. Only about 10 per cent of babies have a clinically-significant tongue tie, and only a small proportion of those are affected feeding wise.

I agree it should always be checked for - by someone who knows what they are looking for - whenever breastfeeding is not going smoothly.

It's probably v. sensible for mothers to be aware of the possibility, though, I agree.

But this is the midwife's role - how can a volunteer mother be responsible for getting everything in that might affect breastfeeding, including the unusual things??

HazleNutt - Sorry for the sidetrack, but how crafty do you need to be to manage those conversion kits? I can just about sew on a button... This is most definitely my last child so thinking about converting a couple of my pregnancy bras this time to supplement the Anita ones I have.

I managed to convert mine Penguin and I am a total sewing numpty

Sounds promising Humphrey! Thanks.

Penguins if you can sew a button then you can convert a bra. Google "convert nursing bra", I would post links but am at work and all sites advertising bras are blocked as porn
I have been posting about it all over MN, I'm sure some people are sick of seeing the comments. But it was just such a relief when I discovered it myself and could have my boobs lifted and separated again.

Watch out for mastitis when you start and stop. If you have any sign get to the Drs ASAP so they can put you on antibiotics immediately.

(Not that I am A doctor but I got mastitis EVERY time I started and stopped BF and was put on antibiotics each time)

You may not need maternity bras - I never used them as I preferred to hoik up my normal bras. I had quite full boobs too.

Thanks HazleNutt. I had two Anita underwired bras last time. I've seen the kits but always been a bit scared I would cut the strap and then get stuck! This time I should have nothing to lose as I won't be using these bras for another pregnancy!

I won't hijack any further.

30 minutes more like 3!!

this is all really helpful thank you. i'm reading and will make notes to mention the most common themes

ps you can buy the clips for suspended belts in a haberdashery. wouldn't that work just as well?

As someone who has bf, then mix fed two v lazy feeders, the most useful thing you could do is pour some water into a disposable nappy and demonstrate what a good 'wet' nappy for a newborn looks like and how many should be seen in 24 hours.