What would you tell an antenatal group about breastfeeding?

[PurplePidjin]

I've been asked to talk to the latest batch of mum to be about breastfeeding. Ds has just weaned at 15 months, and according to the mw who runs our breastfeeding group I'm an expert

So far i reckon:

it's the same amount of work as Ffs but all the hard stuff is in the first 4-6 months

formula isn't poison so don't feel guilty if you need to give it, for your own physical or mental health as much as your baby's

breastfeeding is nature's way of telling you to sit and rest after birth. you have achieved something by keeping your baby fed, if you manage dressed with a hot meal on the table you're superman

anything else?

If it's really hurting then you should ask for help. If a mw tells you your latch looks perfect but you are in agony then your latch really isn't perfect.
Nearly all bfing issues can be solved by improving the baby's latch. Googling "exaggerated attachment" might be useful. And really do ask for help.

Unfortunately a baby feeding lots at night is (a) normal and (b) really really good for your milk supply. Sorry!

Suggest they read up a bit before the birth....kellymom, drjack newman, etc. understanding how milk production works can be useful too, and understanding what to look for to see that bfing us working.

And finally ' you can't spoil a baby' ....some mums I meet find it hard to think of breast milk as more than just a hunger satisfier and feel guilty using the boob for comfort.

You may need to wake your newborn for feedings.

The breastfeeding advice at my antenatal class stressed demand-feeding, but wasn't clear that it might not work like that at first. When my newborn slept a lot on day 1, I thought he was a "good baby" and didn't wake him, so he ended up dehydrated

:( :( Enough with the 'formula isn't poison' bollocks....please. :( :(

No one ever said it was.

Nor is it the devil's juice. Or evil. Or whatever.

If you are talking about breastfeeding, just talk about breastfeeding :) If you are doing the talk 'right', you won't imply that everyone 'has' to do it or it's always a wonderful thing and never goes wrong.

And growth spurts are not growth spurts - just increased needs for the baby to feed for whatever reason, and they can happen at any time.

The most important thing, IMO, is to point them towards their nearest and best form of support. So local groups and also the breastfeeding helplines. I guess you're probably not allowed to advertise mumsnet I think there are fridge magnets with the support lines on, you could ask the MW if she can get hold of them to hand out.

The problem is that any practical advice is forgotten by the time you give birth, and also diluted by all of the other information and advice they will pick up from various sources about feeding, not all of which will be helpful. But if you know who you can call or where you can go for help, you're more likely to access that ongoing support when you need it most.

From my own personal experience I wish someone had told me how hard it can be when things go 'wrong' or don't click but with the right support can be resolved & given me the numbers & places to go to get that support.

The first 3 months are like the 4th trimester for a newborn & the constant need to suck, cluster feed, be close to mum or dad is completely normal so think of bf as your new 'job' - you wouldn't be stressing about the state of the house, things that need doing etc while you were at work.

Any breastmilk you can give your baby is great, so just go with 1 feed at a time.

Give them websites like this, kellymom, milkmatters etc as reference points.

Discuss tt & signs to look for. I'd also have really appreciated being told about mastitis & milk blisters.

Bf really is easy when you (& your baby) get the hang of it.

That even if it works fine for you and you stick with it for the baby's sake, you might just not like it, and that doesn't mean you are an unmaternal monster. I really did not ever enjoy breastfeeding (though I continued till 10 months). It made me feel hot, sticky and claustrophobic, and I really disliked the dizzy feeling at let-down even after it stopped actually hurting.

That mixed feeding can be a really good solution and the occasional bottle/dummy, even early on, does not necessarily spell disaster for breast-feeding as a whole.

That the implications for your clothing options is negligible and insignificant for some women, but TRULY demoralising for others. You are not a shallow unmaternal monster (see above) for finding this depressing.

That your DH might be jealous and weird about it, despite himself.

To explain the levels of expertise different people have if you ever need to ask for help. As in:
Midwives, HVs, local baby cafe leaders - 3 day UNICEF course (usually)
LLL leaders, NCT bf counsellors - diploma level studying lactation, plus years' experience with most common issues
IBCLC - even more time specialising with rigorous exams, often more experience with unusual medical issues.

And that the infant feeding coordinator in a hospital is often IBCLC or on the way... and that you can ask to see her on the nhs rather than finding and paying for a private lc.

Definitely that it takes all day and all night. People always talk about a 'feed' as if it has a finite start and end time. Not my experience!

That just because you get mastitis it doesn't mean you have to stop feeding. Also what the initial signs of mastitis are (really thought I was just coming down with the flu when I got it )

That there is more than one way to hold your baby whilst feeding and that cradling doesn't work best for everyone.

Have a couple of bottles and some cartons of formula handy in case things aren't working out - you can guarantee it will be 3am when you decide you need them. Also MW probably won't tell you that there is sometimes a time delay between your baby being hungry for milk rather than colostrum and your milk supply coming through, or that it really is ok to give a bottle of formula to tide them over. I know women who gave up on bf very early on because they didn't know this, found themselves with a screaming hungry baby and bleeding nipples and assumed it wasn't going to work for them.

Combined feeding works well for some women and often isn't discussed as a choice.

If your baby takes a long time to feed, make sure you've had wee and got a drink and a snack handy before you settle down. Ff babies have to wait while a bottle is prepared so it won't kill yours to wait a couple of minutes.

Tea towels are handy to drape across the arm of your chair (and your baby!) to catch the spills as you eat supper one-handed during the evening cluster feeds.

Oh, and another one. If you leak a lot of milk, don't economise on cheap breast pads. I did and got thrush. Lansinoh are the best I found.

That it hurts like hell and to count to ten as they latch at the beginning. And that after two or three weeks it can suddenly fall into place. And then it becomes pleasurable and fun and is the handiest most hassle free thing
And to smear milk on boobs after feed and air dry to heal cracks
AND Beware mastitus -- ugh
and most importantly - if ur baby has colic cut out dairy. It works for so many people. Miraculous it was for me

I wish someone had explained it takes a few days for milk to come in.... Before that it can feel that they are endlessly sucking with nothing happening.... And this is normal rather than meaning breastfeeding isnt working.

Oh and washable breast pads are much more comfy and not all feeding bras are shapwless and ugly ( i have some gorgeous ones this tjme off ebay from poland!)

chocolatestin, while giving the odd bottle weakly on need not spell three end of breastfeeding. Research doors show that giving an early bottle does reduce timetime a is breastfed for. You need to feed often in the early days to bringmilkin and establish supply.

If it hurts ask for help, if the midwife says the latch is good but it still hurts seek more breastfeeding help. honistly you may feel the letdown but you should never have painful bleeding nipples.

Cabbage leaves really do work. If you are uncomfortable feeding in public or in front of prying eyes, buy yourself a beautiful, comfy, shawl or pashmina.

Every woman's experience is different.

Like childbirth, for some breastfeeding can be easy and problem free, for others it can be difficult.

Telling all women that breastfeeding is difficult just simply isn't true- much like telling them alll it will be easy.

If problems do occur, get help early, the earlier a problem is tackled the easier it will be to solve.
Very few breastfeeding problems cannot be solved with adequate help.
Adequate help can be difficult to find, but persevere until you find someone that can help.

I agree with Tiktok- mentioning formula is not necessary- this is a talk about breastfeeding.
Most breastfeeding problems have a breastfeeding solution.

I agree that you don't need to bring up ff in a bf promotion discussion, but I'd be amazed if it weren't brought up by someone there.

Please mention expressing as a possible solution to latch problems - feeding expressed milk gave me a few weeks to teach DC1 how to latch without losing supply or ending up readmitted. As a first timer I had a hazy idea that fulltime bf at the breast and fulltime ff were the only options

Yeah if I went to a breastfeeding talk I wouldn't need to hear about formula. I'd be interested in breastfeeding.

I would also keep the talk about your experiences and attitudes perhaps.
I presume you don't have any breastfeeding qualifications so I would avoid giving out advice which may be interpreted as medical information.

I would talk about your breastfeeding journey, your expectations, the early days, how things turned out, what worked for you etc. Good luck.

Hopefully this is a group for parents rather than just mums, so don't forget to leave out a dad's role in all this.

Dads are instrumental in breastfeeding success - helping with latch and positioning, bringing drinks and snacks, helping to settle the baby, and defending a nursing mum from unhelpful comments from relatives urging her to switch to formula because "your milk isn't enough" or other unsupportive comments.

Some dads are scared they won't bond with their babies because mum is breastfeeding, so stress that there are so many lovely ways for dads to bond - skin to skin, bath time, nappy changes, singing and playing.

Many Dads are not so involved though- mine certainly wasn't and although supportive really didn't want to know the nuts and bolts.
We have to be careful not to alienate single Mums too.
No fathers came to my ante natal groups.

But if dads are in the group, it makes sense to include them, surely?

Oh absolutely Dads can be very helpful but are not essential to a breastfeeding relationship that's all.
The OP did say ist was a "group of Mums". My breastfeeding support groups didn't allow men, but an ante-natal group is different.