thinking of giving up bf : (

kazza446 · 2014-01-15T23:15:29+00:00

This is my 4th child & I've bf all of them on average til approx 7 months until I've returned to work. My ds who is only 2.5weeks old however is proving to be quite difficult. He latches on badly and is using me as a dummy. For past week we've been feeding hourly day and night. My breasts are painful and I feel as if I haven't been able to do anything but feed. He won't settle without a breast. I'm so tempted to try him with a bottle but feel like a real let down giving in so early : ( Can anyone offer me any reassurance that it may get easier. Can't remember it being this difficult with others x

Leafmould · 15/01/2014 23:20

If he's latching badly, he might not be getting much milk, hence feeding hourly... What's wrong with the latch?

omuwalamulungi · 15/01/2014 23:25

For me it got easier at around 3/4 weeks. Can you take it a day at a time til then and see if it gets better? Every day feels like a week at that stage I know (and you know better than me having had four of these!)

Have you given him a dummy? I know what they say about establishing supply but if you need a rest then you need it.

minipie · 15/01/2014 23:29

If he is latching badly (and clearly it's not your technique as you've done this before) that suggests a possible tongue tie to me.

Has he been checked for tongue tie?

KiBe · 16/01/2014 00:19

I have had problems with my second dd, latch has been an issue and turns out she had posterior tongue tie. I would go to local breastfeeding clinic and get them checked out. We are still harming issues at week 7 after getting first snip 3 weeks, it is very upsetting but am having to accept that this isn't working so well and the path is different for this baby.

Hope you get sorted!

MissRatty · 16/01/2014 04:49

Oh no, I really feel for you, as some days i've felt exactly the same.

I definitely think that if you are struggling with latch you should see if there's a breastfeeding clinic in your area...they have helped me no end! I still take each day as it comes and it takes the pressure off, but if you would like to continue I would recommend getting a bit of extra support. X

PrincessPotsie · 16/01/2014 05:16

I have 3DC and it's only been my third that has breastfed easily and without hassle. I cannot believe how easy it has been. DC1 used to take up to 40 mins to latch on and it took a good 8 weeks for the feeding to get easier but luckily I had all the time in theory's then so I persevered. DC2 was a feeding nightmare in the way you have described and he fell asleep in every single feed if he did manage to latch on he's still a monkey now and drives me to the edge daily. I ended up having to give him top up bottles and quite quickly swopped to bottle feeding which I was gutted about.

It's amazing how different they've all been and I suppose if my DC3 was first I would be really upset if the others didn't feed as easily.

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that not all babies are good at breastfeeding and it's taken DC3 to make me realise this.

There is no point in me going on about all the positives about breastfeeding as you already know. One hing's for certain though, things will get easier than they are now for you. Would you be really upset to bottle feed? If not then I'd try a bottle.

Congratulations and massive hats off to you on no4 as 3 nearly pushed me over the edge at the start.

Original poster

kazza446 · 16/01/2014 09:45

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. I really, really want to persevere with it. Yesterday was a bad day, he wouldn't sleep, unless attached to me or my boob. Think he had become over tired hence constant need for breast. Ironically, he then initially slept for 3 hours last night which was great!
His latch just doesn't seem as natural as it was with myother 3. He doesn't seem to get the full nipple and areola in his mouth, only the nipple. He's super fussy as to positioning and can only manage 2 holds. He does tend to latch on, feed a little then fall asleep. It's been ok these past few weeks as dh has been at home to do all the work but it may be more difficult next week when hereturns to work. I guess I just need to take 1 day at a time.
I don't want to give up yet, even if its just to prove to my mil that I can continue as she's incessantly telling everyone "he will be on a bottle by 1 month" and talks about my milk maybe not being good enough lol!!

OP posts:

Original poster

kazza446 · 16/01/2014 09:46

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. I really, really want to persevere with it. Yesterday was a bad day, he wouldn't sleep, unless attached to me or my boob. Think he had become over tired hence constant need for breast. Ironically, he then initially slept for 3 hours last night which was great!
His latch just doesn't seem as natural as it was with myother 3. He doesn't seem to get the full nipple and areola in his mouth, only the nipple. He's super fussy as to positioning and can only manage 2 holds. He does tend to latch on, feed a little then fall asleep. It's been ok these past few weeks as dh has been at home to do all the work but it may be more difficult next week when hereturns to work. I guess I just need to take 1 day at a time.
I don't want to give up yet, even if its just to prove to my mil that I can continue as she's incessantly telling everyone "he will be on a bottle by 1 month" and talks about my milk maybe not being good enough lol!!

OP posts:

Original poster

kazza446 · 16/01/2014 09:46

Not sure why its posted same message twice. Sorry for typos, bloody phone!!

OP posts:

Original poster

kazza446 · 16/01/2014 09:47

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. I really, really want to persevere with it. Yesterday was a bad day, he wouldn't sleep, unless attached to me or my boob. Think he had become over tired hence constant need for breast. Ironically, he then initially slept for 3 hours last night which was great!
His latch just doesn't seem as natural as it was with myother 3. He doesn't seem to get the full nipple and areola in his mouth, only the nipple. He's super fussy as to positioning and can only manage 2 holds. He does tend to latch on, feed a little then fall asleep. It's been ok these past few weeks as dh has been at home to do all the work but it may be more difficult next week when hereturns to work. I guess I just need to take 1 day at a time.
I don't want to give up yet, even if its just to prove to my mil that I can continue as she's incessantly telling everyone "he will be on a bottle by 1 month" and talks about my milk maybe not being good enough lol!!

OP posts:

Leafmould · 16/01/2014 17:18

Which holds does he like?

Shame on your mil! She should be supporting you, not predicting that you will fail! How mean.

Good luck, it does take a lot of perseverance and determination sometimes, but not always!

PrincessPotsie · 17/01/2014 21:17

How's it going Kazza? Hope the feeding is going ok and the feeds are spreading out a bit. Annoyingly if you want to persevere with it (and I wanted to with mine too) you'll just have to keep on doing what you're doing......'this too will pass''.