4mo old WILL NOT feed before bed

[badguider]

My bf 4mo old has for the last month been refusing to feed any time except just as he wakes up. This works ok in the day and during the night but it means that in the evening he has to go to bed having not eaten since he woke from his early evening nap!
I've tried breast and bottle but he just wriggles and climbs all over me, gets excited and if I really persevere eventually he cries.

Has anybody got any suggestions for getting a calm sleep inducing feed into him?

(He is currently waking loads in the night. I know a bedtime feed won't fix that but I hope it might help? He currently goes about 6pm till 11:30 without eating and I'd give anything for that to shift to 8pm onwards).

Wake him up to feed at 8? Keep it dark and hopefully he will be drowsy enough to drop off again?

8 is when he goes to bed.

Naps 5ish to 5:30ish. Then feeds. Then awake till 8. Then goes down till about 11:30 so I cannot get a decent block of sleep in (he wakes/feeds every 2hrs from 11:30 to 6:30am - it was every 3 but he has regressed).

I want to sleep in that long gap he has but can't because he's awake for half of it!!

I very often have to rock my DD to sleep and then try and latch her on. This often results in a feed and her waking so I have to rock her to sleep again. Makes for a very long bedtime...
She also feeds best just after waking or when still half asleep, still only very short feeds though.
It's been like this for months. She has reflux but is on medication which is supposed to be keeping it under control.
I'm finding it very frustrating too :( and nights are crap!
She will be 5 months old in a week.

Duende - do we have the same baby?

Dh just put him to sleep, then when he stirred after 20mins I fed him. Dh will now take over again shushing him if he wakes till midnight then me again. From 12 till 6 I tend to try a shush first if its been less than 2hrs then feed.

How much total sleep is he getting during the day and night? Just wondering if he's overtired and that's why he won't feed, he's too hyped up.

I presume no signs of reflux (as that can be another reason babies will only feed when sleepy)

We started a bath, feed lying down in pyjamas and sleeping bag, bed routine at around 3 months. Took a while and 4month sleep regression totally messed it up but it seems to now calm my 5mo and he falls asleep faster than when we skip the routine.
So I guess I'm suggesting conditioning, although it will prob take a while to sink in.

Perhaps he is not hungry is he is having feed at 5:30/6? Perhaps feed him less at that time and do split feed?