Is it just me or are all breastfed babies cranky and miserable??

[fluffandnonsense]

Just to clarify I am hugely pro breastfeeding. I personally think the benefits to baby and mum outweigh a lot of what I'm about to say but I fin the evidence hard to dispute. To give background I fed my first child to 3 weeks and due to severe PND and massively sore bleeding nipples I stopped and bottle fed. Something I hated doing and cried non stop for days about. 2nd baby was breastfed till 14 months when she weaned but she was clingy. She screamed if I put her down, she screamed in car seat/pushchair and lived in the sling. She wouldn't go to anyone else and fed every 40 minutes day and night. Her cluster feeding could last 10 hours at a time. But I did it and I'm proud of what we achieved. My friend has just had a baby and has been breastfeeding and her baby has been much same as my DD, not settling, screaming etc. She pumped some milk and fed her in a bottle and hey presto different baby. She's now content, alert, going down for sleeps etc and my friend has decided BF is not for her which I totally understand. So why? Why does putting it in a bottle (even breast milk) make the babies so much happier and settled? All of the bf babies I've known have been constantly on the boob and unsettled. Whereas the bottle fed babies are always much
more content.

It makes me sad because I think the bf relationship is such a special thing BUT with my next child due in a matter if weeks I'm wondering if I'm just making life hard or myself?

Definitely just the luck of the draw. DS1 was, er, intense as a baby, while DS2 was extremely chilled out. Both EBF.

Another vote for it depending on the baby not the feeding method - DS1, a bit fussy (but then my milk took a week to come in), fed till 2.5, didn't sleep through until 1.5 but never any separation anxiety, off to playschool like a dream every day, tantrums rare, charming (if unbelievably stubborn) child as a rule.

DS2, chilled from the outset, barely a moment of fussing ever (he's only 3 months old though), once he'd got night and day sorted he was giving me 4 hours at a stretch overnight (within a week) - he's clearly read all the books I haven't because he really is the model baby so far (don't want to jinx it).

Two very chilled bf babies here, slept through from 3 months and generally very happy about content!

I always forget what I want to say..

DS2 from the beginning and DS1 past a couple of months feed quickly and spaced out, cluster-feeding only in growth spurts. I don't like buggies so I've always carried both, and they don't like carseats, but they'd both go to sleep once we're moving.

Neither of mine could figure out what a bottle was for, but I really can't imagine that they could have been happier, and I certainly wouldn't have been - the milking machine bruised my nipples way more than a baby did.

Sorry for your loss loveanddeath

So sorry to hear about your dd loveanddeath. It puts this all into perspective really.

Fluffandnonsense, perhaps you should have avoided such a huge generalisation in your title if you were just posting about your own (and a friend's) experience.

No, I've noticed the opposite. Fully breastfed all 5 including twins and it seems to engender a lovely atmosphere of calm and contentment. Wonderful.

I only breast fed my two for six and three months, and didn't notice any great change in either of them when I switched over. ds was always straightforward, and dd was always a bit of a nightmare. I am a very laid back parent, and it was easy to go on being laid back with ds, and totally impossible with dd!

Now my two are teens they continue to have those aspects of their characters that affected them as babies, it's just he context that has changed. ds is still very independent and always knows his mind, and it's been a bloody nightmare at times! dd is still very much a people person, affectionate and lovely. It's just that when she was small that translated into being a total limit, and as I am rather more like ds that was a big issue for me. Lots of dynamics to play with, mode of feeding really didn't feature that much.

My son never really cried much until he was six months. He cries more as a toddler than he did as a baby so I think it depends on baby. He was breastfed. So few babies are breastfed that you can hardly really know!!!!

Breastfeeding was hard/ awful for first three/four months then it was like magic and I did it for a long while. Depends what you want, what your motivation is and if you get good help and support this time around. Good luck with what ever you decide.

I can see where OP's question is coming from. DC1 was bloody hard work and I was the only one in my nct group who breastfed past a month. I got so sick of the questions like "poor you, have you thought of giving her a bottle?" and on occasion I really did wonder whether it was actually the reason why my child was the only non-sleeper of the group. It was only when I started talking to other friends (and not just first time mums) that I realised that there was actually very little correlation.

I also got the smug "yeah well I think my baby is relaxed because we are a pretty chilled couple." She has subsequently had a second, shall we say more "challenging" child, and apologised to me a few months ago for being such an arse.

Anyway the next time I just embraced the "challenge", got a breastfeeding cover which meant I could feed baby while running around after toddler. Meant I wasnt constantly stressing about where to take my next pit stop to feed one and entertain the other. DC 2 was marginally less annoyed than DC1.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do. Main thing is do what works for all of you and don't beat yourself up over it.

Down to the children.

Both of my children are breastfed and the first child very relaxed and happy and the second child very pissy for the first 6 months but content now.

Both mine were/ are EBF on demand, and both quite chilled babies, so - no, not IME.