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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Is it just me or are all breastfed babies cranky and miserable??

89 replies

fluffandnonsense · 01/01/2014 12:38

Just to clarify I am hugely pro breastfeeding. I personally think the benefits to baby and mum outweigh a lot of what I'm about to say but I fin the evidence hard to dispute. To give background I fed my first child to 3 weeks and due to severe PND and massively sore bleeding nipples I stopped and bottle fed. Something I hated doing and cried non stop for days about. 2nd baby was breastfed till 14 months when she weaned but she was clingy. She screamed if I put her down, she screamed in car seat/pushchair and lived in the sling. She wouldn't go to anyone else and fed every 40 minutes day and night. Her cluster feeding could last 10 hours at a time. But I did it and I'm proud of what we achieved. My friend has just had a baby and has been breastfeeding and her baby has been much same as my DD, not settling, screaming etc. She pumped some milk and fed her in a bottle and hey presto different baby. She's now content, alert, going down for sleeps etc and my friend has decided BF is not for her which I totally understand. So why? Why does putting it in a bottle (even breast milk) make the babies so much happier and settled? All of the bf babies I've known have been constantly on the boob and unsettled. Whereas the bottle fed babies are always much
more content.

It makes me sad because I think the bf relationship is such a special thing BUT with my next child due in a matter if weeks I'm wondering if I'm just making life hard or myself?

OP posts:

PeazlyPops · 01/01/2014 13:52

A ff baby may not have the attachment with mum

Bullshit.

Longtalljosie · 01/01/2014 13:53

There was some research on this -BF babies do cry more, but the suggestion was because FF babies tend to be more full up in one go after feeds

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16492490

wonderstuff · 01/01/2014 13:55

My two were very sunny chilled babies. Rubbish at sleeping, but I'm sure that would have been the case anyway, I tried mixed feeding and early weaning with dd, zero difference. I personally found that it was super easy for me to comfort them with my boob and that made me a pretty chilled mum.

I think you do what works best for you and yours, for me breast was the easiest way to feed and comfort them.

EssentialCoffee · 01/01/2014 13:58

Some delightful responses on this thread....

Specifically MyMIL's post at 13:24 and Layl77's 12:52 post.

EssentialCoffee · 01/01/2014 13:58

Reported.

JugglingIntoANewYear · 01/01/2014 14:00

Mine didn't sleep through for years either wonder - but I'd still do it all the same (more or less) again (heaven forbid )

wonderstuff · 01/01/2014 14:02

I'm not doing it again! almost definitely

I do wonder why people get so political on these threads, it really does no good to judge others choices.

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA · 01/01/2014 14:04

I think what matters is how YOU feel. If you want to bf great. If not. Thats great too. The good thing is if you do find its making life difficult yhen you can ff. I mix fed up to six months but looking back I rather wish I just stopped after a few months. I had pnd and other health issues but I felt guilty about stoppibg.

AngryBirdRoast · 01/01/2014 14:04

Breastfed 3 boys here

1st was a bit cranky but not outrageously so

second was a DREAM and cried TWICE in the first 6 months (I kid you not)

third is nearly 1 and is the crankiest yet

I don't think it is about the BFing tbh.

Toadslovejam · 01/01/2014 14:05

Dc1 ebf: cried a fair bit at night, tricky sleeper.
Dc2 ebf: barely cried, slept through (bar one feed per night) from 2 wks.

Op, your perception of bf babies being more fussy is a myth.

AngryBirdRoast · 01/01/2014 14:05

Btw BF has made MY life much easier. It really has. So has co sleeping.

EssentialCoffee · 01/01/2014 14:05

I can only assume that some people like to put others down to make themselves feel better.

ithaka · 01/01/2014 14:06

YABU - my 3rd child was so easy going as a baby, people would comment they only ever saw her asleep. Fully BF for 6months, stopped BF at a year old. She is now a whirling dervish of a child.

Oldest was fully BF for 4 months & a clingy nightmare - now super chilled out teen.

Ergo, it is not Bf that leads to cranky miserable babies, some just are.

prettybird · 01/01/2014 14:18

Ds was a chilled out baby who was ebf and slept through from 2 weeks too early so we had to wake him to feed him

Breast fed him till he was 13 months - never had any formula but from 2 weeks he also had ebm (so I could see he was having loads of milk). Kept the ebm going as I was going back to work ft when he was 4 months old (all the maternity leave you got back then ), so it was useful to be in the routine.

We did say that if we'd been able to have had another one, then we'd have to have signs up around the house saying, "Remember, they're all different "

Nothing to do with how they're fed and everything to do with genetics nurture luck

Hyperhelpmum · 01/01/2014 14:23

I'm currently breast feeding number 3. First two easy, slept through at 6-8 weeks, settled. This one, bloody nightmare. Only a nightmare because I have two other children and they are missing out on me because I am ALWAYS feeding. 'Mum come and see my puzzle, when I've finished feeding, mum could I have a drink?, when I finish feeding, mum can you wipe my bottom.......It's all very well spouting all this pro breastfeeding attachment stuff, but if you have other children how the hell do you manage it? I'm feeding my baby but think the OP is right to an extent. If I gave her formula someone else could help/ I Ming get some more rest and be less of a grumpy crap mum to other DC, she might be happier baby? That said, I'm sticking with it as it just feels 'right'. Opened the formula carton yesterday and the smell made my stomach heave. There is something instinctive for me about not wanting to put formula I her. I only fed other until 16 weeks so I. No breastfeeding goddess but I'm giving it a good go for now.

magichamster · 01/01/2014 14:25

ds1 was v cranky, slept badly and was generally a bit of a nightmare until he was 3yo.

ds 2 was the easiest baby you could imagine, happy, smiley, good sleeper.

DS 1 was ff, ds2 was bf, so in my experience the opposite is true.

pinkpip100 · 01/01/2014 15:04

Hyperhelpmum, I spend a lot of time feeding dd2 while helping the other Dcs with whatever they need at the same time. To be fair, what would help most would be another hand or two, or some juggling lessons

heronsfly · 01/01/2014 15:09

I think its true that it depends on the childs nature in a way, but Ive got 6dcs all ebf and they were all miserable cranky babies till about 6 months,never happy unless they were attached to a boob so I think you have a good point.

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 01/01/2014 15:12

Definitely just you. What a provocative thread title.

BitOutOfPractice · 01/01/2014 15:17

I can only speak from my experience of my bf babies (two of them)

Both were exclusively bf till 4 months + and were settled, contented and fed every 3-4 hours and slept through from 6 weeks. Both were large babies when born and continued on the 70th to 90th centiles until I stopped weighing them.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 01/01/2014 15:24

There are a couple of very stupid people on this thread (mymil and Layl)

Ds1 &4 were my most chilled out, one bf, one ff. Ds 2& 3 needed more attention and were more grumpy, again one bf and one ff. I think its down to personality tbh

Original poster

fluffandnonsense · 01/01/2014 15:47

I honestly didn't start this thread in order to be controversial. In actual fact it was more out of frustration and feeling a bit down about it all. I really battled to feed my daughter, it was painful for 4 months despite be getting every possible help including some amazing support from the Le Leche league! But with what's just happened with my friend I'm feeling a bit stressed and down about feeding when I was looking forward to it. I think breast is best for baby but ehen i see the difference with my friends baby, going from screaming and not settling to being content and alert in one single feed it shakes my confidence! My DD is still high maintenance and Im getting lots of comments of 'Well how are you going to cope feeding a baby all day with her to deal with too?' And tbh I'm worried about that too! With my DD my DS was an angel, quiet, easy to take out and about etc and so if she fed for hours it didn't matter but this time I'm not going to have that luxury!

I'm really pleased to hear people saying their BF babies were content as it gives me hope! I do have realistic expectations of how much this baby will feed to start with etc but I'm really praying she won't be quite as clingy and unsettled as my last BF baby. I've already got the slings sorted if I need them but I'd just love to be able to have a contented bf baby!

OP posts:

PacificDogwood · 01/01/2014 16:36

Ach, don't worry, fluff, these threads always turn in to a bun fight - I am not reading back.

My DS1 is now 10. He is no longer BF , but still easily upset, v dramatic and I can now understand his baby personality so much better. Whichever way I fed him (and I tried them all!), he just cried a lot.

Babies are contented or not so much. What you feed them makes little difference. And if you can get through the hard first few weeks (well, I always found it took 3 months to get easier), then the benefits are huge for both of you. If you don't, you'll have a healthy baby too. Which may or may not contented.

Good luck.

NoComet · 01/01/2014 16:45

No
One FF and one EBF both average babies, neither in the least clingy and both similarly cranky, although about different things.

DD1 got bored very easily and DD2 liked (likes) her own way.

LoveAndDeath · 01/01/2014 17:19

All ebf till I went to work except dd who died as a small baby.
Ds1, ds3 and dd were all very whingy. Dd was born prem so always took her breastmilk from a bottle. She was becoming quite demanding just before she died. Never got her on to feeding from the breast

ds2 and ds4 were lovely content babies. Just the luck of the draw, I think.

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