Do you say anything before you start to bf if you are with other people?

[exhaustedandannoyed]

If for example at a friend's house with another couple, would you just start feeding or would you say something? I usually just do it without saying anything but sometimes feel a bit strange like maybe I should ask if they mind or something, especially if there is a man around.

I never asked or warned

Didn't occur to me that I'd need to or that anyone would object tbh!

I think I'd find it a bit odd if someone announced they were going to feed their baby - doesn't that just draw everyone's attention and make it a bit awkward?

I did with DS but I don't think I would if I have another baby.

I have only just realised that when I'm at family parties and they've prepared a room for breastfeeding, that it may actually have been because they preferred me to use it...

I've always just said, "Oh no, I'm fine just here thanks". I like to be where the action is!

Shelly- you would really warn people that you are about to bottlefeed?
May I ask why? I find that quite odd.

Do you need permission? Protective covers?- What is the reason?

I wouldn't ask if its ok, its not like im going to take a dump on their sofa! Im just feesing the baby. I never asked if it was ok to feed the ff ones either

Feeding even

I always tucked my babies under my scarf or cardigan to feed so nothing shows even latching on. I would never ask, seems a bit odd and unnatural.

I would ask before feeding a toddler a rice cake... Far more mess potential.

msmiggins its not a ff v bf issue.

With any of my babys & however I was feeding them, if i was in someone else's house I would mention thst I was about to feed the child.

Its manners or good courtesy nothing else.

I remember when my sister had her 1st baby a few weeks before Christmas & they came to visit on Boxing Day. She felt very uncomfortable feeding around others so asked to use one of the bedrooms. I really felt for he & i wanted her to come downstairs but ultimately it was about how she felt.

Its the same for me. I would feel I was being rude by just feeding a baby without saying anything anything to my host.

I yell Tits Ahoy! Before flapping one out.

You see I don't agree- and although this appears not to be a bf/ff topic I raise this point because I do think it is important.

The fact is that young babies do drink milk frequently so if you are invited to someone's home- implicit in that is the very high chance that a baby will need fed during the visit.
I find it extraordinary that you should seek permission- what do you say " Do you mind?" Or "Is it OK?"
I do think this is a ff/bf issue because I have never seen a ff woman announce that sje was about to feed her baby.

I've never asked. I would always ask where I should go to change a nappy if I'm in someone's house, but it has never occurred to me to ask if there's somewhere I should go to bf. I wouldn't leave the room to bottlefeed so I wouldn't to bf either.

It's still a dilemma in this country anyway.

I completely understand the need to ask op.

As with everything 'it depends' on how self conscious you feel, how much you care about others who may find it difficult, no matter the law, there is also common courtesy to take into account.

My answer depends on who is there... I feel funny around some and not around others. This is where sitting by a high armrest and some strategic cushions come in handy.

But I would hate to have to leave the room, in my house or anyone else's (Although I'd take the hint of the was a special room mentioned)

Bf on your own is lonely. Noone comes to see you...

I wouldn't visit anyone who tried to shuffle me off to another room to preserve public decency.

I never did but on one occasion my cousin's husband (40ish, no kids) made a horrified comment about another family member 'just getting her boobs out' or words to that effect in relation to breast feeding. I was sitting there with tiny DS, who started crying for a feed about 5 minutes later.

I considered warning him I was about to get my boob out, but decided against it and just enjoyed his discombobulation

Even when I have family visitors to my own house I will go to another room, I just hate feeling awkward. I am ok in front of my own parents but that's it. Even in front of my friends I try not to as none of them have bf'd.

Serena- stupid man- by that age you think he should have learned that breasts are sometimes used for feeding babies. Kids or not many men half his age wold be nonplussed about witnessing breastfeeding.

No, I don't ask anyone's permission, though there is one person who I tend to warn (who has told me in the past that they feel embarrassed seeing others BF) so that they can leave if they choose to. They never have done yet, though.

If u have a tiny baby who will focus on the task at hand there's no need to get a room, but when you have a bigger baby who is liable to spend some time looking round the room with your nipple between its teeth (cowboy/cigarette style) then you might need to give people a head's up.

I used to just huff and puff about with cushions and bras and unbuttoning. That was usually enough warning to get my father in law hovering in the doorway not knowing where to look!

msmiggins he's generally a decent/normal bloke so I think it was more a case of never having been around bfing, but I like to think I've done my bit to help educate him on the topic

Well mine is 10 months so easily distracted, I do tend to sit somewhere that makes it easy for me to face away from everyone just incase he pops off half way through.

I think now hes getting older I feel a little more self conscious about it but I still cant imagen asking anyone If its ok.

Its probably because im now getting the how long are you planning to bf for.

I say 'ooh, she needs some food now!' Then I whap them out.

I think not saying anything can be rude because you are, even for a minute, not paying attention to them in the same way and it can create an awkward silence (not due to the breastfeeding thing, that isn't awkward, but the stop of talking or chatting or whatever, even just for a few seconds whilst you get sorted).

I did, but only because I struggled with my latch so would get the full thing out and wave it around and change position etc. i didn't really get established so can't speak for how I would have been once it was.

I wouldn't expect a friend to tell me, although if she did I would presume she told me so I was aware she might be stuck sat down for a while and would need stuff passing to her

But formula fed babies get distracted too and may pop off the teat.
I don't see the issue. Sometimes breastfeeding women show bits of breast or nipple. I can't see the problem.

If I'm with people I don't know well I might just say she needs feeding and pop a muslin over my shoulder and get comfy. If they seem fine I crack on as normal and move the muslin once baby is latched.

Other wise I get the boob out and get on, so much so my best friends husband will either say 'no boob out pink, disappointing' or 'bloody hell pink stop wafting them round, we all know you have them'