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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Do you say anything before you start to bf if you are with other people?

80 replies

exhaustedandannoyed · 10/12/2013 15:05

If for example at a friend's house with another couple, would you just start feeding or would you say something? I usually just do it without saying anything but sometimes feel a bit strange like maybe I should ask if they mind or something, especially if there is a man around.

OP posts:
Original poster
exhaustedandannoyed · 10/12/2013 15:06

Oh sometimes I say 'looks like she needs feeding' or something similar to kind of warn them I'm about to do it!

OP posts:
DingDongUriGelleryOnHigh · 10/12/2013 15:11

I asked a friend (before I knew her as a friend) if it was ok to feed my then screaming 6 wk old in her kitchen.

She said, "You'd bloody better, anything to stop that racket!"

Loved her from that moment Grin

BeCool · 10/12/2013 15:12

never

MoominsYonisAreScary · 10/12/2013 15:14

I did at the weekend, dps uncle was over from Ireland. Usually I just feed him.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 10/12/2013 15:15

I feed the baby, not dps uncle Grin

Rollermum · 10/12/2013 15:17

Haha Moomin!

I generally do an overly comedic intro like 'and now I'm about to wave my boob around'. Makes it nice an awkward. I need a better intro. 'She needs feeding' makes sense.

Morgause · 10/12/2013 15:20

In someone else's house I would always ask if they minded or would they prefer it if I went into another room. Elderly uncles have sensitivities. Smile

Smartiepants79 · 10/12/2013 15:23

I generally just picked the baby up and said in a loud voice. 'Come on, time for some milk/food'
Should have been enough warning!

MoominsYonisAreScary · 10/12/2013 15:25

It was quite funny

uncle : baby seems a little grumpy

me: yes he wants boob

Uncle: he wants food

me: no boob

Uncle: food?

Me: no boob

Aunt: no boob! While gesturing to her boobs

LoganMummy · 10/12/2013 15:25

I usually just say something "oh she's hungry" and then feed.

Original poster
exhaustedandannoyed · 10/12/2013 15:25

Moomin, that really made me chuckle Grin

Rollermum, that sounds like a good intro, don't think I'm quite confident enough for that one! Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
exhaustedandannoyed · 10/12/2013 15:29

Morgause yeah I think if I was with family I would just go in another room if there were elderly uncle type relatives around, I was thinking more if I am with people of a similar age who also have kids, though are not bfing at the time themselves.

OP posts:
ChunkyPickle · 10/12/2013 15:31

'Pass me that cushion' or similar usually.

Not had any issues with Uncles (elderly or otherwise), Fathers, Father-In-Laws - conversation continues, no-one leaves the room, so I presume I must be part of a nice, relaxed family :)

MoominsYonisAreScary · 10/12/2013 15:35

I guess I might say something if they didnt know I was bf. It hasnt come up as its usually around people who know or strangers in public places.

My grandad would wonder off and busy himself in the begining but is used to it now.

coffeeandcream · 10/12/2013 15:38

I used to let people know when DS was newborn, at which point FIL would suddenly need a ciggie and go outside! Once family realised nothing was on show we all just carried on as usual and it wasn't a problem

specialsubject · 10/12/2013 15:42

a bit of warning is polite, but if you are in your house you stay where you are and they move if they prefer.

in someone else's house, or if you like privacy (I knew some mums who did)you go into another room or ask where you can feed the baby.

but as noted, generally all you can see is the baby anyway!

MoominsYonisAreScary · 10/12/2013 15:44

Ive never asked anyone where I could feed the baby

msmiggins · 10/12/2013 15:49

I have never asked. Would you ask if it's OK if you gave your toddler a rice cake that you had brought with you?

No- it's the same with breastfeeding.

WaitingForMe · 10/12/2013 15:56

Yes. Not that I ever wouldn't bf but I know my brother despite thinking it's the best thing is weirded out by the possibility of seeing my boob. He doesn't leave the room but he won't look in my direction.

PoopMaster · 10/12/2013 15:59

With DD1 I used to sort of ask/warn "do you mind if I feed her here/now?" but soon realised that it caused more embarrassment than if I'd just gone about my business, especially with male friends as they often looked panicked, seemingly unsure about the best way to respond, if at all.

With DD2 I realised that if anyone ever said no (which no one ever has) it wouldn't really change the fact that she needed to be fed anyway, so now I just say something like "time for a feed I think" and interestingly now fewer people leave the room than before.

Shellywelly1973 · 10/12/2013 16:08

I think its just polite to let people know & especially if your in someone else's home...

bf= rice cake? Nah...

msmiggins · 10/12/2013 16:10

Shelly would you ask if you were about to bottle feed?

TeWiSavesTheDay · 10/12/2013 16:14

No I don't.

I was so anxious about bf my first (I was 21) but I made the realistion that I was going to be more self-conscious about it if I was constantly pointing out that I was getting my boob out. So I don't, I'm discreet, if any of the men in the family were uncomfortable they've got used to it now. It's not an issue.

Shellywelly1973 · 10/12/2013 16:21

Yep!

MediumOrchid · 10/12/2013 16:30

In my house I would just feed dd, in someone else's I might say 'do you mind if I feed?' or I might just get on with it.

My dh's grandparents, who are rather posh (although lovely), had a party with lots of their friends and family, and they told me that they had prepared one of their bedrooms as somewhere I could go to feed. Which I interpreted as 'please don't breastfeed at the dinner table!'. But I didn't mind that at all, it's their house, whatever they want.