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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I hate breastfeeding!

22 replies

Kayshields · 20/11/2013 20:39

I f-in hate it.. I hate the soggy toos, the squirting boobs, the bad latch, the having to hide to feed your baby and worst of all its starting to make me resent my baby.. but I feel too guilty to bottle feed. Its bullshit that it gets better after 6 weeks my babies 11 weeks now and its gotten alot worse if anything

OP posts:

Original poster

Kayshields · 20/11/2013 20:39

Urgh *boobs

OP posts:

Daisy75 · 20/11/2013 20:42

Then stop. I shall shield you from the BF police!

CluelessNewbie1 · 20/11/2013 20:45

Oh you poor thing. I have lost all pride now and find it amusing when I spray milk everywhere!

If you are starting to resent your baby could you not start to express so that someone else can give a bottle now and again? Or mix feed? Or formula feed? Don't put yourself under any pressure its your choice,your body and your baby. If it helps dd is 6 months and now I feel a bit sad that she won't need me to feed her soon. But crikey at the start it was painful and night feeds and soaking through all your bras is soooooo shitty! My dd won't take a bottle now so I have no options.

summerlovingliz · 20/11/2013 20:46

It will get easier if u keep going, if it's making you unhappy give it up or substitute one/two feeds x

ZenNudist · 20/11/2013 20:47

Guilt is a stupid reason to keep doing it. Stop if you hate it. Personally I'd find ff a faff, but each to their own. Happy mummy happy baby & all that.

Wishfulmakeupping · 20/11/2013 20:50

Don't do it if you really hate it but I promise it is about to get so easy and agree with zen about ff being a faff- bf seems so easy in comparison to all that sterilising

HenD19 · 20/11/2013 20:50

Congratulations on your new baby!

Sorry you're feeling a bit pissed off with the feeding. I have 3DC and have breastfed, bottle fed a d mixed fed(grammar?!). Despite breastfeeding being really hard to establish I much prefer it to the messing around of bottles. I hate having to hide to feed though as you say as I find it hard to feed discreetly big breasts!

If you really are hating it you should consider bottle feeding and get over the guilt. You have to do what's best for you, as well as your baby.

Hope things get easier for you Kay

Bex89 · 21/11/2013 00:00

Hey,

I feel your pain, but it honestly will fit in to your life.
I am a first time mum with a 12 week old, I despised bf, it hurt so much, I got mastitis in both breasts and could only feed from one side because I felt too scared to try on the other side since the mastitis was awful, but I persevered and the way I got through it was by co feeding, I was so upset in the beginning but you will understand that happy mother equals a happy baby, I give my little girl three to four bottles a day, I breast feed in between and bf all night (bf at night is amazing, baby doesn't even fully wake, neither do I, you barley even remember doing it)
Try co feeding and if it doesn't work for you, you can go back to ebf.
Regarding bf in public, that was one thing I never feel comfortable with, I always feed her before leaving the house, I have used bf room in my surgery twice and bf in the car twice, but I'm not the type to do it in public.

I hope you figure things out, I find that the hardest part of being a new mum was sorting the feeding routine out, not knowing what is right for you, but don't be scared to try formula, I was terrified and cried the first bottle she had but I know now it was so worth it for both our sanity.

Good luck :)

NoComet · 21/11/2013 00:05

It gets easier and the soggy leaky stage goes away.

FF, especially with the new rules, is a total faf

Supergoogler · 21/11/2013 05:33

Is it still really painful? I hated it too, mainly because I had such a bad latch - the pain was excruciating but I didn't want to give up so just bit my lip and sobbed through the pain :( However I saw a lactation consultant who sorted my latch and the pain instantly went! When I got the hang of it, it changed my whole feelings towards bf!

Not sure if this is why you hate it but if so, I def recommend getting help with poor latch.

Good luck and well done for sticking with it x

octanegirl · 21/11/2013 16:29

Lansinoh breast pads are the bomb. No more sogginess.
It gets better/easier/faster
Stick with it!
I was getting fed up too but honestly it gets so much easier and its so good for you both.
Here I am 10 months in. Can't quite believe it...

whereisthewitch · 21/11/2013 16:35

Why do people always roll out the " bottles are such a faff" statement, I used a microwave steriliser, bottles washed in dishwasher then a few minutes in the microwave, hardly a huge ordeal. Making up bottles is hardly that difficult or time consuming either and at night I used the cartons at room temperature.

OP I bf for 6 weeks and hated every goddam minute. When I switched it was a revelation and I finally stopped beating myself up for failing and being a tired and miserable git. But only YOU can make the decision. Either way your baby is being fed.

whereisthewitch · 21/11/2013 16:38

BTW I am completely pro bfing and will be trying again with DC2 when its born but I now realise it's not the be all and end all.

Lj8893 · 21/11/2013 17:55

I hated breastfeeding too, gave it 5 nights of completely no sleep as dd would want to be constantly latched on and I caved and gave her a bottle. The relief I felt for both her and myself was incredible.
I carried on breastfeeding throughout the day and formula at night but now at 4 weeks she's getting all formula.

I really suffered with the guilt though and found myself making all sorts of excuses for why I was ff, but I'm slowly starting to feel less guilt and just reassuring myself that we are both enjoying each other more without the stress I was feeling.

Everybody keeps commenting on how calm my baby is and how relaxed I seem for a ftm.

Shoutymomma · 21/11/2013 18:13

I hated not squirting and constantly hungry baby (low yield tits!) but loved being able to feed at the drop of a hat and didn't give a rat's behind about whipping them out in public. I imagine it is swings and roundabouts for the majority of us. Whatever you do, do you for you and your nipper, not to satisfy other people's opinions. Xx

Workberk · 21/11/2013 18:16

You don't have to hide to feed your baby if you don't have to.

And the leaky boobs are annoying but gets LOADS better with time I promise.

At about 3.5 months DS went from feeding every 1.5-2 hours to feeding every 3-4 hours (and much longer during night) and it suddenly became easier.

Breastfeeding has been a saviour for me at times and I'm so glad I kept it up through the tough bits.

BUT if its really making you unhappy, you do have a choice.

FastWindow · 21/11/2013 18:21

starballbunny new rules for ff? Please elaborate!

I mix feed. Sanity intact.

bundaberg · 21/11/2013 18:30

it honestly does get easier! i know it probably doesn't feel like it right now, but it does.

ds2 was a nightmare baby to feed. he fed constantly, he cried a lot, he had a tongue tie which too ages to sort.
i resented it, I'll be honest, but I was too pig-headed to give a bottle. Plus he couldn't have cow's milk so would've needed a prescription formula!

anyway, I soldiered on (among various break downs and much crying) and then gradually it got easier... i don't know when, but one day I just tohught, wow, this is ok, I can do this

I'm not going to lie, I never loved breastfeeding with any of my 3. I find it hard to get evangelical over how bonding it is and how great a feeling it is... but i DID feel proud when I realised we'd finally cracked it and it was easier

if you want to stop, or mixed feed, or express and bottle feed that's totally your choice and you shouldn't feel guilty about it if you've made an informed decision and feel it's best for you and your baby.

loveolives · 21/11/2013 18:58

But it does get easier, second nature to be honest.

If you're still in pain, that's not right - you must get that corrected.

If you really don't want to do it, don't.

muddylettuce · 21/11/2013 19:14

You've done well to get to 11 weeks so feel proud no matter what you decide to do from here on. I'm still bf 6 months in and I no longer get leaky boobies, not even in the morning, DD feeds quicker than ever and now we're weaning the pressure is off me. I'll be stopping in the new year- return to work and I'll miss it...never thought I'd say that! Good luck! X

MigGril · 21/11/2013 19:51

sounds like your having a rough time. Do you have a local drop in breastfeeding group or cafe you can checkfor on the BfN website or the Baby cafe website, the NCT math have one too haven't checked.

You could pop along get some support and help with your latch and they will help you stop to if you've really had enough.

lyrasdaemo · 22/11/2013 17:56

I feel for you, I hated hated hated bf, I was ringing the midwives, the HV and crying a lot and dear god my nips hurt! DH took me to our local bf group at 10 weeks and the counsellor was great and told me I was doing it right, dd just had a slightly weird latch but she was swallowing and it was all ok. Also, get the Lansinoh nipple stuff. I eventually enjoyed bf when the nips didn't hurt anymore and now really miss it as I've just stopped at 14 months...

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