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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Help for baby who doesn't want to feed and is losing weight

113 replies

hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 21:34

When i had my ds i despearetly wanted to bf, but i didn't really have a clue what i was doing. i had read all the leaflets and websites etc but when putting it into practice it was not as easy as it all sounded. the midwife who had delivered my ds was going off shift about an hour after he was born and although she did stay with me trying to get him to latch on for a bit all she did waskeep shoving my boob in his mouth. she didn't actually tell me anything i could do to help things. then a few hours later another midwife came around and said if he hadn't fed we wouldn't be able to go home and i should give him a bottle cos he would be starving as he hadn't fed since he was born. i still desperately wanted to breastfeed and thought in the comfort of my own home i would manage it.

i am still trying to perservere but now HV is not happy because he has lost weight. tbh he doesn't feed well on breast or bottle (he has some EBM) - he has something called floppy larynx syndrome which makes it difficult for him to breathe when feeding. they want to put him on some increased calorie formula and if he still fails to thrive he will have to go to hospital.

i hate the fact that he doesn't want to feed let alone breastfeed. he has been known to go 9 hours without a feed cos he just refuses to take anything and then i doubt he's even had enough. going to still try and keep up with the breastfeedingm but i can't help but think it is all gonna end very soon

OP posts:
Original poster
hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 21:35

Just to clarify, this is for bamboozleslover.

OP posts:
Thomcat · 10/07/2006 21:36

oh mate so sorry had no idea

Thomcat · 10/07/2006 21:36

ahhhhhhhhh!

Original poster
hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 21:36

No, not me, TC.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. bamboozleslover asked for help on another thread, so I started this one.

OP posts:
Thomcat · 10/07/2006 21:44

I'm sorry just less confused and equally useless on the advice front

moondog · 10/07/2006 22:36

Mears?
Tiktok?
Bamboozle,sounds like you need some expert advice.
Have you tried ringing the helpline for Association for Breastfeeding Mothers??

0870 401 7711

bamboozleslover · 10/07/2006 23:03

i rang the NCT helpline who advised the cross-cradle hold and they explained how to do it. it has helped a little but not much. i really don't want to give in to formula but if he is losing weight i don't want to stop him from having what he needs.

moondog · 10/07/2006 23:05

It seems that you need a face to face visit Bambers.I know Expat had one with the NCT.
Ring ABM helpline (please!) and ask about how to get help in person.
It sounds lie a tricky situtation.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 23:05

How often are you expressing/feeding him?

When you try to feed him, does he fall asleep? Or cry?

How old is he?

OP posts:
Piffle · 10/07/2006 23:08

one thing that springs to mind is that if he is not feeding well on bottle EBM you would face the same issue with high cal formula
Weight can be overlooked in some situations and I say this as the mum of fail to thrive who was happy,, slept well and thrived

How is your baby outside of feeding,
when you say lost weight do you mean not gained or a centile fall?

bamboozleslover · 10/07/2006 23:22

he is 16 days old. when i try to feed at the breast he gets very frustrated and cries or falls asleep. with the EBM he doesn't cry but again falls asleep and he seems to be sucking for ages and you think he's had loads but then when you look he's had virtually nothing. sometimes it can take one or two hours to get him to finish a feed and he only has 2 or 3 oz max. will try to get a visit in person thanks moondog. other than the feeding he is a happy baby. i don't know about centiles the HV didn't say. she just said he had regained birth weight last wed, but now he's lost 2 oz. i think the idea of the higher calorie milk is that he could drink less of it and get the same nutrition as if he were having more EBM IYSWIM.

Piffle · 10/07/2006 23:33

my dd puked up all supplemented products
You do feel reassured by HV's - I was a 30 yr old mum of two and I felt pressurised
To be prescribed a high calorie formula you need to see a paediatrician to rule out any reason for poor feeding/low gain
My dd only ever too 3-4 oz per feed up til 2 yrs old.
Your ds does sound like he has problems feeding, I think that needs to be addressed urgently as a matetr of course by an paediatrician for a longer term solution.
Is your hv suggesting you try a high street formula or waiting for a special one?

Original poster
hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 23:36

You need to see somebody who knows about bfeeding, bamboozleslover - and properly knows, don't trust that your HV or a paed knows what they're talking about. Some do, but loads don't.

How is his weeing and pooing? Is he pooing a lot? Heavy, wet nappies?

OP posts:
bamboozleslover · 10/07/2006 23:41

no poos since 3pm yesterday. nappies wet, but not heavy. i feel bad leaving him with the same nappy on for more than a few hours so i change him, but they usualy only have a small amount of wee in them. the formula is a special one to be prescribed - don't know what it is called. he is being referred to a paed but god knows how long that'll take.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 23:44

I'll bump this for you tomorrow, and hope that Mears or Tiktok sees it.

But first thing, you should ring one of these numbers, or the ABM as detailed by Moondog on this thread because you need to see somebody who knows about breastfeeding, not wait for the HV or a paed referral.

OP posts:
Original poster
hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 23:44

How often was he pooing before that?

OP posts:
Piffle · 10/07/2006 23:45

usually very quick in FTT cases bamboozle...
We got offered neocate, and a powdered supplement called maxical which we mixed into ebm
DD actually has a condition that causes low weight which is why I hope that the paediatrician gives your ds a thorough check up
Is your ds alert when awake? Does he sleep more than a normal 16 day old?

Original poster
hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 23:46

Just copying a post from another thread to this one as it's pertinent:

By bamboozleslover on Monday, 10 July, 2006 11:43:04 PMon wed he was done naked but on a spring one. today it was on proper ones. he was weighed last monday on proper scales too and has gained 2 ounces since then, but still 3
under birth weight.

OP posts:
Original poster
hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 23:47

Copied from this thread

OP posts:
bamboozleslover · 10/07/2006 23:50

i don't know what is "normal" but he is asleep virtually all the time. i have to wake him to feed by changing or bathing him which he hates and he usually falls back to sleep straight after his feed. he is slightly more awake than what he was when he was first born but not a lot more.
re the pooing - i don't actually remember changing many pooey nappies - usually one every few days. HV said some babies just don't poo a lot is this not normal?

bamboozleslover · 10/07/2006 23:50

btw what is FTT ?

tiktok · 11/07/2006 00:15

bamboo - FTT is failure to thrive, more usually known as faltering growth, these days.

I am really sorry you still have these difficulties....you have been so desperate to get things sorted.

I don't have anything to add that I haven't said to you before - get proper help from someone who can see you and who knows about feeding.

Call the NCT again or any of the vol orgs. You need face to face help, and I think you may need someone whose job it is (maybe not a volunteer) to help you. The situation is hard for a volunteer to deal with, I would say, as it is now in the area of speciality formulas and medical conditions. My understanding of floppy larynx is that it rarely needs treatment and improves by itself, and does not intefere with feeding (unless it is a symptom of something else) but I am not a medic and this goes outside my boundaries.....get help, bamboo, from someone who can take all this in and support your bf. Mumsnet and the vol orgs can support you from the sidelines, but that has its limits.

tiktok · 11/07/2006 00:18

I have read your post again, and it is very concerning. No poos is not normal and yah-boo-sucks to your HV who told you it didn't matter. It's only normal after a few weeks. Babies poo several times a day in the first weeks. Sleepiness and loss of weight coupled with infrequent poos and non-heavy nappies all add up to a situation which needs investigation, seriously.....I hope you find that help and things get sorted. You sound very worried and alone

Original poster
hunkermunker · 11/07/2006 09:24

Thank you, Tiktok.

bamboozleslover, if you do want to breastfeed, and it really sounds like you do, please get help from one of the voluntary organisations.

I know it all seems scary and confusing now, but I'd hate you to get three or four months down the line, be formula feeding and wish you'd done things differently.

I'm sure it's still possible to bfeed successfully, as long as you get the right advice now - and I really don't think you can rely on the HV or paed to get it. Good luck and keep us posted, sweetheart.

(Where do you live - if you're anywhere near me, I'll come and see you and make the calls you need - I'm in west London. I'm not a qualified bfeeding counsellor, but I'm passionate about bfeeding and want to see you get the right help).

OP posts:
saggarmakersbottomknocker · 11/07/2006 09:32

BL - I would never, ever want to worry another mum unneccessarily but I really think you should get this checked out.

Very sleepy baby + poor feeding may mean there's something else going on.

You can get a same day referral to your local hospital. Your GP can do this, just as he would if you went along with a baby with a very bad chest or similar.

Take care.

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