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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Help for baby who doesn't want to feed and is losing weight

113 replies

hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 21:34

When i had my ds i despearetly wanted to bf, but i didn't really have a clue what i was doing. i had read all the leaflets and websites etc but when putting it into practice it was not as easy as it all sounded. the midwife who had delivered my ds was going off shift about an hour after he was born and although she did stay with me trying to get him to latch on for a bit all she did waskeep shoving my boob in his mouth. she didn't actually tell me anything i could do to help things. then a few hours later another midwife came around and said if he hadn't fed we wouldn't be able to go home and i should give him a bottle cos he would be starving as he hadn't fed since he was born. i still desperately wanted to breastfeed and thought in the comfort of my own home i would manage it.

i am still trying to perservere but now HV is not happy because he has lost weight. tbh he doesn't feed well on breast or bottle (he has some EBM) - he has something called floppy larynx syndrome which makes it difficult for him to breathe when feeding. they want to put him on some increased calorie formula and if he still fails to thrive he will have to go to hospital.

i hate the fact that he doesn't want to feed let alone breastfeed. he has been known to go 9 hours without a feed cos he just refuses to take anything and then i doubt he's even had enough. going to still try and keep up with the breastfeedingm but i can't help but think it is all gonna end very soon

OP posts:
tiktok · 15/07/2006 00:03

bamboo, thanks for updating us. I'm glad in a way the doc didn't find anything. Reflux is a mystery condition - babies who have don't always cry though. My personal opinion is that it is 'diagnosis of the month' at present (that's not to say it doesn't exist, or your ds doesn't have it - it does exist but prob not in the numbers it is being diagnosed at these days).

A baby who's bf is going well will be feeding effectively many times in 24 hours - as you say, 7 hours is far too long to go, and you are right to encourage him to feed much more often than this. Pooing would be soft and copious - lots of it

I don't think you have yet seen anyone who can properly observe a feed and get to the bottom of why feeding has not gone well - maybe your contact with the hospital will give you the chance to see an infant feeding specialist. It's good your ds seems to be feeding better. Lets hope it stays that way and continues to improve.

bamboozleslover · 15/07/2006 00:09

i know what you mean. the symptoms for reflux are also very similar to many other conditions it seems like it is very hit and miss. his diagnosis of floppy larynx last week proves this! i know it is not nice to keep doing lots o tests on babies, but imo it would be better to do this and rule something out than give drugs for no reason. for example he would not have had the camera if he had been putting on weight and then they might not have considered reflux which can cause a lot of pain. they said they want to see him in 4 weeks for a barium swallow - but i wish they had done it today, so if it isn't reflux the correct diagnosis could be made quicker. oh well i guess they know what they are doing!

Original poster
HunkerMunker · 15/07/2006 00:22

bamboozleslover, can you try to see a bfeeding counsellor to get them to observe a feed?

OP posts:
tiktok · 15/07/2006 10:14

I agree with HM.....and actually, I don't they do know what they are doing, bamboo, to be honest. That's not to say they are ignorant and cruel, but to show they are really guessing and they are unable to consider fixing the breastfeeding because this is not a part of their skill.

You really need to see someone face to face who knows about bf - would that be possible for you?

I don't think it is good to leave a baby who is losing weight for four weeks before further tests. I don't think your baby is ill - the health visitor/midwife shd be able to spot if he is poorly - but I do think the evidence is he is not growing as well as he could.
I hope you get the right sort of help.

LaDiDaDi · 15/07/2006 11:56

From what I know, which admittedly may not be much, reflux has to be pretty bad for it to make a baby not gain or loose weight, ie so bad that the diagnosis is pretty obvious. Also reflux in itself wouldn't make your baby sleepy.

kiskidee · 15/07/2006 18:18

BL: i don't know how long you before your ds was born that you have visited mn. in case you are not yet aware, tiktok is a bf counsellor. her advice is very, very good so if she is worried for you, i am worried for you.

sorry, hope this helps.

bamboozleslover · 16/07/2006 13:42

have contacted NCT and got an appointment tomorrow hopefully they can help me out. i'm guessing they aren't always able to solve problems.

bamboozleslover · 19/07/2006 14:36

didn't manage to get to my appointment - had to take ds to doctors BUT i did manage to get ds to latch on last night and for his feeds today. its like someones just pressed a switch in his little head. at the last feed i did have to give him a bit of EBM via a bottle before putting him on the breast as he kept crying and wouldn't latch on. the thing is he does not feed at the breast for very long - no where near as long as he used to take to having a bottle so i'm not sure he is taking very much.

LaDiDaDi · 19/07/2006 14:40

Is he having plenty of nappies in this hot weather?

bamboozleslover · 19/07/2006 15:21

should he have more wet nappies in the hot weather?i'd have thought he'd have had less wet nappies cos of them trying to conserve as much water as poss. its probably about the same as normal though - i haven't really noticed.

tiktok · 19/07/2006 16:29

LaDi - I don't think babies should have more wet nappies in hot weather, should they? I have never heard of that....normal weeing is what is looked for, that's all! Maybe that's what you meant
Bamboo, it's great he has started to latch on but I really don't think you are out of the woods just yet....can you make another appt with the counsellor?

LaDiDaDi · 19/07/2006 17:43

Yes that is what I meant tiktok, plenty as in a normal amount ie not getting dehydrated in the heat. Sorry if i wasn't clear .

bamboozleslover · 19/07/2006 17:45

tiktok i have a question..
firstly if he comes off the breast but still appears hungry does that mean that breast has emptied and he needs to go on the other or should i put him back on the same one?

tiktok · 19/07/2006 19:16

It's a great question, bamboo, and one without a definite answer! I think this sort of thing sort of gets worked out between mum and baby as they get to know each other and as bf gets better established. Your baby coming of one side may want to go back on the same side or he may want to swap - a rough guide would be if he hasn't been on the first side very long, then put him back on, and if he has been on a reasonable time, swap sides.

But the definitions of 'very long' and a 'reasonable time' are gonna vary!

If in doubt, you can't go wrong if you put him back on the same side and then swap if he 'tells' you again he wants to come off.

bamboozleslover · 19/07/2006 19:23

also can you tell me what i can do to try and build up my supply as obviously i probably don't have a lot cos he has not been breastfeeding regularly. do you think it is actually possible to restart bf or am i wasting my time?

tiktok · 20/07/2006 00:00

As ever, bamboo.....get proper help, face to face. A supply is built up by frequent, effective removal of milk. Yes, it can start or re-start after a difficult time, but getting someone to see what's what is the first important, essential step. A talkboard like mumsnet is great for support and encouragement and experience-swapping, but it can only go so far.

bamboozleslover · 20/07/2006 20:44

grrr i am annoyed - apparently the woman i made an appointment with originally is the only counsellor they have in my area and she has gone on holiday for 3 weeks.
today has gone quite well but ds seems constantly hungry. he will fall asleep at the breast so i put him down but within half an hour max he is awake and crying again. i don't want to give him any top up bottles cos i know i need to try and build my supply but is it fair for him to be hungry like this?

foxinsocks · 20/07/2006 20:54

is he taking the reflux meds now? if it is reflux, it could me that the meds are kicking in and he is feeling more comfortable feeding?

lua · 20/07/2006 20:58

I think is quite normal for them to feed pretty often when you are building your supply.
I know it can be trying, but if you relax and go with the flow for a few days it may actually settle down faster.
I'm glad he is feeding better !

bamboozleslover · 20/07/2006 20:59

yes we started the gaviscon on sunday and ranitidine yesterday. i thought it was probably because i haven't got much milk so it isn't satisfying him. if he takes all the milk at one feed, how long will it be before there is any more available? if i put him back half an hour later cos he is hungry will there actaully be any milk there for him? sory if i sound thick but no one i know has ever breast fed so i no nothing about it really.

foxinsocks · 20/07/2006 21:04

I will have to leave the breastfeeding advice to the pros (sorry, but would hate to give you wrong advice) but well done you for persevering!

kiskidee · 20/07/2006 21:40

yes you will have milk. milk is made constantly so you don't 'run out'. just keep putting him back on your breast. can you have a babymoon? spend the weekend in bed / on the couch just focussing on feeding him everytime he squeaks?

you are a very brave woman to do this without prior knowledge of bf. i overanalyse everything and take everything out of context.

tiktok · 20/07/2006 21:54

bamboo - there may be other counsellors from other organisations in your area or else support groups. Don't give up trying to find someone who will see you. If you feel able to say where you live, someone on here will be able to suggest something/someone.

tiktok · 20/07/2006 21:55

Also - feeding him again after he wakes after half an hour is fine....the more you feed, the better for your milk supply. Very frequent feeding is only a sign of something not right if the baby is never happy/zonks out to sleep without feeding properly/mum is sore/the baby isn't actually transferring milk.

bluejelly · 20/07/2006 22:17

Try the la Leche league. Really think you need some face to face advice. I had so many midwives telling me i was breastfeeding correctly and it wasn't till I saw the LLL lady when my dd was 3 weeks old (by which time i had blisters on my nipples and cried with pain every feed) that i was shown how to do it properly and I got it right. Went on to breastfeed for the next 18months-- but would have given up without the LLL.
Give them a try and good luck