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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

nursing strike!

22 replies

LeBFG · 30/10/2013 08:07

I need some help and advice. My 8mo has stopped bf. We were out yesterday so not surprising she didn't feed out of the house. But then point blank refused usual bedtime feed. By now, my boobs were sore. This morning, she is refusing normal am feed - had breakfast but wont even take expressed milk from a bottle. No temperature. No streaming nose but she may be a bit blocked. Other than that, perhaps a sore throat? I just don't know what to do - GP is useless with babies and bf.

OP posts:
Spidermama · 30/10/2013 08:17

Could be a sore throat or thrush (white bits would be visible in her mouth).
I feel for you because I know how get distressing, not to memtion uncomfortable, this can be.
I found great practical advice (which I can't remember as it was so long ago) via the Breastfeeding Network.

Good luck.

Original poster
LeBFG · 30/10/2013 09:16

Thanks for the repy. I can't see very well into her mouth. I've just bought and given her some calpol on the offchance it is something painful stopping her feeding. I can't understand how she had breakfast though. Weird. I'll try again in 20mins!!

OP posts:
Original poster
LeBFG · 30/10/2013 11:43

Well, she took one boob and cried bloody murder when I wanted to switch. She's just gone down for a nap - no bf! Not sure where to go - surely babies of 8 months don't self-wean??!

OP posts:
Spidermama · 30/10/2013 14:57

No it would be very unusual for a baby to self wean this young. It sounds like something's hurting her.
The Breastfeeding Network might well have a counsellor in your area. They're great. Here.

Original poster
LeBFG · 30/10/2013 18:22

I live overseas so I can't access the Network. Thanks for the info though - perhaps this will help someone reading this thread. I'd never heard of it.

DD is now asleep after having fed off one single side all day. I expressed a tiddly amount that she drank most easily in a cup. She is taking solids in well - crusty bread and dry crackers among other things, so no pain swallowing or in the mouth.

She arches her back and cries as soon as I try to lay her in the feed position (on me or in the bed). Fortunately, she goes to sleep without needing to feed.

Just don't know what to do from here. She is trying to crawl and may be teething. I just can't wait for it to pass!!!!

OP posts:
lolalotta · 31/10/2013 04:53

My baby did this, she might have been a little older though, I can't remember, she is nearly 4 now! Wink
I was at home with her and had no older children so was able to really max out skin to skin with her. I had baths with her, resting her on my chest (but not forcing her to latch on or anything) and then spent an afternoon in bed with her, me with no top on. We had lots and lots if cuddles and just relaxed...eventually it did the trick and she latched on and started feeding again. I then went on to BF her until she was two, so it was worth the perseverance! Grin
The best thing you can do us stay utterly relaxed as you can manage, I know it's hard though! Good luck!

Cupcakemummy85 · 31/10/2013 05:45

Would it be worth going to the doctor and checking for an ear infection? I never experienced it with my two dc (touch wood) but if she will only feed from one side it could be her ear on the other side that's hurting her. Whenever my dd, who is 8 months too, goes funny at the breast it's the first thing I go to the doctors for.
I really hope your dd feeds well again. I know too well how stressful it can be when they aren't feeding properly. I also live overseas and england definitely has tge best breaatfeeding help.

Hotcuppa · 31/10/2013 06:48

I had this with DC3 a couple of months ago when she was 7.5 months old. It was very distressing so I fully sympathise with what you are going through. It definitely started off when she had a blocked nose so she was finding it difficult to feed - I took her to the doctors and he ruled out ear infections etc. She was behaving just like your DD and would arch her back each time I tried to put her into a feeding position. I found the only way I could feed her was by putting her down for a nap and then lifting her 5 mins after she had settled when she was drowsy and very relaxed. I even resorted to stopping the car and feeding her if she nodded off in her carseat! Although this was a pain, it did at least mean I didn't get too uncomfortable and engorged. When she was awake, I took time to give her lots of skin to skin attention and time in the bath with me which she really enjoyed. I also used saline nasal spray and olbas oil to ensure she was able to breathe through her nose as best as she could. After about a week she started to, very tentatively, latch on again and feed whilst awake and gradually returned to her normal self. It was a very stressful time - I certainly wasn't ready to stop feeding her and was something I had never experienced with my 2 other ebf DCs. Try to hang in there if you can as I don't think babies this young actually self wean so I am sure that with time and patience she will get back on track soon.

Original poster
LeBFG · 31/10/2013 08:50

Glad to hear some successful outcomes. I'm feeling really stressed about it. Day 2 and still not feeding from the breast. Nor from a bottle. She'll sip a bit out of a cup. I'm reluctant to go to GP as he is crap because she hasn't a temperature so even if it is an ear infection, they won't want to treat it. She's never been a cuddly baby but I'll try lolling around a bit today and offer no-stress-stylee (try at least). She was up at 5am this morning and I would normally feed back to sleep - no luck of course so frazzled and tired.

All this and she always was (is still really) a perfect baby - slept well, fed regularly, no real crying - total opposite to the first, who incidentally bf till 17 months!!! Aie, aie. Never get two the same I suppose.

OP posts:
Hotcuppa · 31/10/2013 14:25

How are things going today OP?

Original poster
LeBFG · 31/10/2013 16:30

No luck today. I'm actually contemplating coming to terms with the fact this may be the end Sad. She has zero interest in the boob at any time. She's eating well but won't drink from a bottle. I feel useless - aren't babies supposed to want to bf?!!!

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Jemimapuddleduk · 31/10/2013 16:40

Hello- I have had this same problem on and off with my bf Dd. I find that when she is going through one of these phases she will only feed if half asleep. Does your dd take a dummy? I found cuddling mine with her dummy in till she was drowsy and then swapping the dummy for the nipple often helped. Not ideal but stopped me getting engorged and sore and ensured she got some milk. I found it very stressful too and made me realise how emotionally bound the whole bf relationship is. Good luck

Hotcuppa · 31/10/2013 18:11

You poor thing Sad. However, don't give up just yet. As I said in my post upthread, the only way I could get my dd to feed when she was "on strike" was doing it just after she had fallen asleep so she was unaware what she was actually doing. I had to do this for a good week before she started latching on when awake. I know just how stressful and upsetting it is though. Please don't beat yourself up about it, you are far from useless.

Original poster
LeBFG · 31/10/2013 19:16

Thanks guys. Pumping now. DD has never comfort suckles. She sucks on her bottom lip to self soothe so this gets in the way of sticking a nipple in. Breasts are not engorged now - I worry about supply though. Goddammit. How could this have happened?

OP posts:
Jemimapuddleduk · 31/10/2013 20:43

I am no expert but I'd say keep expressing to keep up your supply and hopefully she will come back to it in a few days. They are funny little creatures and I have heard of this more in girls than boys. I have had another thought too. When my cycles started up again (at around 6months after birth) my dd started being fussy and refusing the boob for a bit. Once my period arrived it was ok. I hope you have a large glass of vino/bar of chocolate to hand as I know how stressful it is x

Original poster
LeBFG · 01/11/2013 08:39

Thanks for that - interesting about periods as I've just started cycling again.

Day Three and she has woken with a streaming nose this morning. So maybe just fluey-cold/sore throat? All the more surprising that after a huge breakfast made of bm and baby cereal, she's just gone to sleep after draining one boob!!! A step I never thought would happen even just a couple of hours ago.

Fingers crossed it continues. And thanks loads for the support. Seems everyone I know is like so-what. I didn't fully appreciate before all this how special these nursing moments are, the closeness and mutual dependancy and so on. So emotionally charged. Arrh. Those hormones I suppose.

OP posts:
Jemimapuddleduk · 01/11/2013 09:37

Great news this morning. Fingers crossed it continues x

Spidermama · 01/11/2013 10:52

Excellent news leBFG. I wish you and your baby dd well. x

Shatteredmamma1 · 04/11/2013 09:13

Is it all back to normal leBFG? My DS did
exactly the same with a virus at 8 months
and I tried for a week to get him back on-
Lots of skin to skin and dream feeding
attempts but no joy. hope you've had
continued success. Kellymom website
gives lots of good advice on nursing strikes
Good luck.

Original poster
LeBFG · 04/11/2013 11:02

Oh, shatteredmamma, I haven't been able to get her back ever near the nipple since. I pumped for a few days, but today stopped. I think this is it. I feel gutted tbh and feel quite rejected - silly really. But anyway, thanks for all your support. I just wish I had better news. At least the last feed was pleasurable for us both so it leaves good memories.

OP posts:
Shatteredmamma1 · 05/11/2013 08:22

Ah no- I felt the same- really emotional
about the whole thing- it's sad isn't it?
Just think you've done really well by getting
this far and you've done the best for your
LO too by going over six months. We'll just
have to wait for the next DC right ???!!
Hope you're doing ok.

Shatteredmamma1 · 05/11/2013 08:31

Oh and the other thing that helped was
trying to find the positives- clothes I could
wear again , things I could do that I hadn't
been able to etc. But it is sad - reading your
post reminded me so I hope you're doing ok.

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