expressing to involve dad in feeds

[mustardtomango]

Our lo is one week old, and before he was born Dh and I had many conversations about how we can both be involved in his care /feeding etc. I'm really keen to share this special experience, and he's all over making my life easier and taking an active role in raising/feeding /changing our son. Perfect.

The (slight) issue I have now is that I'd love to express say once a day so he can feed him overnight, but the info I've had from multiple midwives is that you risk a number of things by introducing it so early (pref of bottle over breast, less satisfying feeds as no contact with breast /calming hormones, duplicate feeding, etc). Obviously I don't want to ruin what so far has been a great Bf experience.

What do you think?

Congratulations on the new baby! It's up to you, but it's very very early to start pumping unless you have to. Establishing bfing can be hard enough without trying to get expressing at this stage, and by starting a bottle this early you risk setting the baby up to prefer the faster flow of an artificial teat (not in all cases, but in some). There is loads a father can do to be supportive and helpful without feeding. How about he works on rocking DS to sleep in the evenings, taking him for walks in the sling, becomes the official family photographer, does baths, works out the most effective lullaby? Or supports both of you at once by cleaning the kitchen, setting you up with lots of DVD box sets and bringing you delicious meals on a tray and cutting up the food so you can eat one-handed?

As your son grows there will quickly be lots more opportunities for he (and other family members and friends) to interact more, including bottle feeds however it works best for the three of you.

And also, your DH sounds lovely and like he'll be a great dad

Agree with sunny
Congratulations on the birth of your baby and on breast feeding. Hardest thing I've ever done. I think for the first few weeks you're better feeding on demand and sorting that out before pumping and giving baby a bottle as they do get nipple confusion.
With us the most important thing my DH did was to encourage and support me with the feeding. I would not have done it without him and that was such an important role. Later on he gave our DD a few bottles too but got the biggest kick out of being the only one she would go to sleep on!

Thank you sunny, yeah he's great :-)

Elvis, yes I think it's the special thing between father and (in our case) son that I'm trying to ensure... Not that they need help I'm sure, just want to give maximum opportunity for special times. He's taking play time, which I don't do, so guess there are other ways they can develop a bond without the feeding right now

I'd be patient and get established first. Once a baby feeds badly, it is a long, hard road voice of experience here

A month will fly by and there will be plenty of time to express and involve baby's Dad then.

My dh was bathtime chief in our house

DH didn't give ds or dd a bottle but did take over some nights, did get involved in other ways. Feeding seems like the way to bond but it really doesn't matter.
Expressing I found a faff so I avoided it as much as I could!

I agree with creature. dh has never fed either of our babies 18mo and 8 weeks but is so much their daddy its fab. he does getting ready for bed and story most nights as well as most other things when he is around. I also make sure I hand them to him when it gets a bit much instead of trying to figure them out on my own and give him the neat and tidy version only. I think that helps a lot.

Get him to have some skin on skin contact. It's great to bond with newborns

I never could or could be bothered expressing.

It is a shor time of exclusive being.

When your baby is 6 months then your do can feed the solids.

My own view is there is so much a dad can help with other than feeding which will give you soe help and also crate a strong bond.

Good luck

I started expressing at 10 days and DH started giving her a bottle in the night. At 6 weeks it became routine togive her a bottle before bed which really helped with her sleep.

Advice is to avoid introducing a bottle until 6 weeks. Wedid it earlier because it felt right to us. Now having a baby who mix feeds is a godsend because I can go out and not be tied to the baby.

Congratulations!

Establish breastfeeding before you think about expressing. We have DC3 on the way and feeding a bottle was something DH wanted to do but actually ended up being the least bonding thing he did as he always felt he was taking over my role. He preferred to have a thing that was his so he took over bath time when he came in from work (which was usually when I was most exhausted so gave me space when I needed it) They had a lovely routine - naked time, cleaning time, splash and play time, dry, massage, dress, stories. Instead of having the baby in a seat on the bath, DH would often get in and have lovely skin to skin cuddles. Really lovely for him and both DCs, and even now that they're 5 and 3, bath time with daddy is much more fun than with mum and they clearly all get lots more out if it than I do!

The other thing we did was invest in a good sling (not a BabyBjorn which are rubbish! Ours was an ergo but there are loads) and he would always carry the babies rather than push them in the pram. Lots of closeness and chances for kisses! He absolutely loved doing this and carried them both (front then back) until they were both over 2.