to ask about breastfeeding?

[Thisismyfirsttime]

So, I am currently 20wks pregnant with my first baby and have been doing my research into breastfeeding. I'm asking this leaving aside whether bf is best for baby (which is difficult I know). All the information I can find from personal experiences of bf is making me feel it's really not for me. A lot of what I'm seeing is making me think it's far more difficult to get into a routine whilst bf and that it seems to take up a LOT of the day. Is this true?
Really, I would ask if some of you share the absolute basics with a complete novice please? I.e does it hurt at first, how long does it hurt for, how long does each feed take (different for different babies I know but from personal experiences), did anyone BF one and FF another- which was easier to get into routine, is it really difficult to get anything else done in the first few weeks of bf etc etc? I would value opinions from mums who bf and ff please!
I was intending to bf for at least the first 6 weeks but AIBU to consider not breastfeeding at all?

YANBU - bf can be hard am exclusively bfeeding my 4 week old and it still hurts when she latches on for about 30 secs (like my nipples are being pinched very hard) but then its fine. I have fed in public twice using a baby blanket and you can use a scarf or special bf scarf.

I made full use of all the help offered to me at hospital and by midwives and now health visitor. I got the nurses to check my latch each time i fed and i had a csection.Personally, I found the pain from my nipples worse than the pain from my csection! Get the lanolin cream for your nipples it was a godsend!

I was told by friends while I was pregnant that if I perserved it would get easier and it does. That said I am only planning to exclusively bf until about 3-4 months then mix feed until my milk dries up.

Baby cluster feeds from about 7pm until midnight but she does give me 4-4.5 hrs sleep and then feeds every 3 hours from then. It's easy to feed the baby in the middle of the night.

But if you do ff then you could always take a flask of hot water upstairs with you and some bottles like my SIL used to much easier than going downstairs in the middle of the night to make up the ff.

I have loved spending the time relaxing on the sofa watching telly. I still cook as the baby does sleep just more organised about planning quick easy meals. You could always express milk so you can go out and about more easily as well.

minifingers when I say it worked for my family to ff this is because bfing led me to feel quite low. The sheer exhaustion that came about by not getting a break and feeding a baby for 40 minutes of each hour in the day just didn't allow enough rest for me and as a result, I wasn't being a good Mum.

Being slightly more rested and getting one night off a week gave me the energy to interact with ds. It was for all our benefit. Bfing was getting in the way of us bonding as I was frustrated and not enjoying him.

It is hard to get rest when you have a little one full-stop. I went back to work part time at 5 weeks when my first was still breastfeeding, and with a second and third baby very close in age and breastfeeding - I remember that feeling of not being able to get stuff done. Luckily my DH is super supportive and didn't have a problem with me prioritising feeding my baby over cleaning. I appreciate that not everyone has a partner who is as supportive of breastfeeding.

All that said, I found breastfeeding fairly unexhausting in the sense that you tend to do it sitting down. I remember reading and watching more tv while my babies were small because I had to take time out if my busy day to feed them. And also to sit down with my toddler or oldest child while feeding and read to them and give them cuddles.

Don't discount the unforeseen benefits. I flew with D aged 3 months and aged 6 months. No bottles, no mess, no worries. Her ears were fine and I could relax. We had to (DH's DM was very ill) but it was a bonus that DD din't need anything but me.

Hi

I bf for the first 10dys, bb lost 15% of his birth weight so we are now mixed feeding (he is 3weeks), bf hurt for the first couple of weeks but most of that was because he was very hungry and his latch when hungry is still painfully strong. Even with mixed feeding bf takes about 5 to 6 hrs a day at the moment, although I can work on my computer for some of that time.

Making formula is no problem, I run the steriliser once a day and make up the 8 bottles with water, then put them in the fridge and add powder as needed and give them cold it takes about 15min a day. The only extra work is because he dribbles etc more with formula so more changes of clothes and washing. I don't see any issue with packing a bottle or 2 of water and some powder in a cool bag, when putting in the nappies etc - it's hardly rocket science.

Personally I find ff more bonding as I have to look at the bb and am able to look at this face, when bf I tend to end up doing something else as it just takes up so much time. Still I'm glad I tried bf, but am accepting ff doesn't make me a bad parent and there are much more important things in their life.

"I don't see any issue with packing a bottle or 2 of water and some powder in a cool bag, when putting in the nappies etc - it's hardly rocket science."

No - that's if you're prepared to ignore the recommendations on making up feeds as safely as possible.

I formula fed two, and breastfed two.

I'd take breastfeeding over formula any day. It meant I got to sit down and have a break, as I was the feeder, and there was no messing with sterilising bottles, making up feeds and so on and so on.

If I were you, I'd try it. If you don't manage, don't beat yourself up, you've tried and it's not for you. If it works, it works.

Making formula up with cold water isn't a safe method.

I have never used formula in my life, so it is odd that I know you need water at a certain temperature ( to kill potential bugs in formula as well as water) and yet many who feed their babies this way do not.

Frequent feeding and night feeding is normal newborn behaviour. Like crying, or possetting, or wanting to be held a lot. It's often inconvenient to adults, but it is part of the physiological and developmental norm of being a baby.

I wonder if someone could come up with a medicine that stopped newborn babies wanting to be held a lot that it would soon become incredibly popular, even if there was proof that not giving it to babies was better for their health. You'd soon see loads of posts from people saying how tiring they felt holding their newborn was, and how it made them depressed and interfered with bonding, and that it was better for the whole family if the baby could be medicated so that it didn't want to be picked up all the time.

Seriously - it makes me sad that normal newborn feeding behaviour is seen as something which is basically pathological.

WHO page 9 www.who.int/foodsafety/publications/micro/PIF_Bottle_en.pdf

purple - that's the best option if you have to feed a baby but can't access boiling water. It doesn't mean it's the safest option.

Between birth and six weeks, DS fed for about an hour at a time, with about an hours break in between each feed. It was toe-curlingly, take-your-breathe-away painful for the first minute or so, and then fine. It was exhausting.
He is now 4mo and gets one bottle per day, bf the rest of the time. No pain at all. Feeds take ten/fifteen mins max. Three hour breaks in between. So glad i stuck with it. (Miss those days of spending all afternoon sat feeding while watching telly!)
You can easily get in to a routine, but with a bf baby ( at first) your routine needs to involve feeding on a much more regular basis than a ff baby.
Go for it, and see how you get on. No need to decide anything yet.

I think it's sad this is about convenience and routine - it's better for your baby and better for you to breastfeed, so why not give it a go. If you hate it you can always reevaluate. But each feed is better than nothing.

I tried to BF for about 10 wks. The closest we got was via nipple-shields whilst using a Supplemental Nursing System filled with expressed breast milk. I would never EVER recommend ANYONE persue that line, it's madness, pointless and completely futile. I expressed every 3 hrs, which could take an hour or more. DO NOT DO THIS. You will loose your mind. It was a miserable, lonely, demoralising experience; I really struggled with the "decision" to stop trying.

In many situations is HUGELY embarrassing to get a bottle out in public (esp posh toddler groups, etc). I'd not let embarrassment over boobs/bottle influence your decision.

FF isn't the faff that people tell you. Really, it isn't. Formula lasts (in a sterile bottle in the fridge for around an hour). For night feeds single-use cartons are fine.

Formula will not kill your child. It's not as good as breast-milk, but sadly most people won't be "perfect" parents and there are worse things that most parents end up doing than formula feeding.

Lots of people will tell you that BF is the right answer, but the reality is that feeding is only a part of the picture.

I had to mix-feed with formula at the beginning, before I managed to switch to exclusive breast-feeding.

Breast-feeding is easier. You can knit, type, play computer games, and read while breast-feeding up to two babies. However, I needed both hands to bottlefeed one newborn at a time. You can also wander around shopping centres with one baby discreetly feeding in a sling. (People would occasionally come and talk to the breastfeeding baby to do coochie-coo noises, without ever noticing what the baby was doing! )

In my opinion, the last thing you need with a new baby is more washing-up, considering the sheer volume of laundry that is going to be entering your life! Formula-feeding was a huge faff at 3am.

I also liked the fact that breast-feeding released sleep-hormones that meant I went to sleep immediately after feeds, instead of lying awake for two hours and then dropping off half an hour before the baby wakes up again!

Candy Crush and breastfeeding are an excellent combination! Take it from me..

OP, just wait until the baby arrives and see what happens.

I absolutely agree that breast milk is best.
But I cannot agree that it's easier. Surely you have one arm free when you're formula feeding? I found it easy to have baby in crook of right arm, hold bottle in the right hand, and therefore have left hand free. But I never got beyond the strategically-positioned cushions, SNS, sticky-plasters, palaver of failed BF. For (nearly) 3 months.
OP, for all the people who say one is easy, their'll be another 100 who says it's really difficult.
Routine and teensy babies don't go together.

I know someone who form

Gah! Bloody phone.

I know someone who formula fed and her baby fed little and often for the first few weeks. She was washing, sterilising and prepping over a dozen bottles a day!
I EBF and it was much easier! Yes I had to wince as she latched for the first ten days but then it was much easier.
You will not necessarily get a routine out of a formula fed baby and you won't necessarily not from a bf one. DD has slept 7 til 7 since 13 wks.

Give it a whirl!

I'm afraid I could never work out how to support and feed with the same arm. It was one to support head and one to hold the bottle in the right place. Maybe I needed to wait for the babies to get bigger?

As it was, I was lucky enough to find that breastfeeding was a realistic choice for me, so I went for the road that I knew could deliver hands-free feeding. Sounds a bit like a mobile phone ad.

Possibly not the kind of thing you're meant to admit to in public? "Oh I chose breastfeeding for Jack for the hands-free option, which enabled me to carry on my pre-baby lifestyle of spending too much time on the computer." instead of "I was concerned about health risks". But meh, they say the Truth will set you free!

BigJessie - I had a teensy baby but freakishly long arms - that could be why one handed FF worked for me!
However, apparently I've big nipples and DD had teeny mouth - they used words like "disparity of size"....

Ah. I suspect that if anything, I have short arms. I'm a shortarse in all respects! My hands would pass for a twelve year old's!

Not as bad as me, BigJessie. I tell everyone I BF because I was cheap, fat and lazy. It's free, they suck the fat right out of you and no bottles, washing, planning or sterilising.

Sod the 'perfect parent' bollocks, I like lying in the sofa playing Civilization and drinking tea, you know, while giving my baby the best start in life and all that.