to ask about breastfeeding?

[Thisismyfirsttime]

So, I am currently 20wks pregnant with my first baby and have been doing my research into breastfeeding. I'm asking this leaving aside whether bf is best for baby (which is difficult I know). All the information I can find from personal experiences of bf is making me feel it's really not for me. A lot of what I'm seeing is making me think it's far more difficult to get into a routine whilst bf and that it seems to take up a LOT of the day. Is this true?
Really, I would ask if some of you share the absolute basics with a complete novice please? I.e does it hurt at first, how long does it hurt for, how long does each feed take (different for different babies I know but from personal experiences), did anyone BF one and FF another- which was easier to get into routine, is it really difficult to get anything else done in the first few weeks of bf etc etc? I would value opinions from mums who bf and ff please!
I was intending to bf for at least the first 6 weeks but AIBU to consider not breastfeeding at all?

Yep, I spent a lot of time feeding - especially those early weeks
...it's good - it makes you rest.
DH sometimes had to help out with other stuff as I was "busy" lying on the bed feeding DD.

I had a routine fairly quickly with DD (Gina who must not be mentioned as well!). But she is 6 mo and has only slept through about twice, but I do find it lots easier during the day to follow a routine, especially with a toddler as well. I really like having a baby routine, but pre babies I wasn't into routines at all!
Agree with Pp, adv of Bf are that u get to sit around a lot relaxing, and its easier to play with smart phone with Bf rather than bottle. Also less crap to cart around. U kind of get to carry on the pregnant 'I need looking after' thing a bit longer!
Disadvantage - it does take ages - feeds took an hour for us until about 5 months, but DD had a tongue tie... It was fixed but maybe she had bad feeding habits or something. But all newborns can take a while to feed, even gf. Also personally I think they take longer to sleep through.

No read replies but I was very lucky and accept for blocked ducts occasionally no pain. I love BF my lo. It is our time. An almost indulgent time in someways. Yes it can be hard but if you accept it, it's easier.

Get DVD box sets you've always wanted to walk, buy cake, chocolate, whatever. Grab a flask of coffee and a big bottle of water. Put on your comfiest clothes and snugly and enjoy it. The time flies by and you'll miss the cuddles. At 9 months, it's the only time by lo will be cuddled.

Hope that helps. It's just my experience.

I also recommend if you do BF learning to feed lying down early on and taking naps together. A stretchy wrap is also great newborns and a ring sling is great for feeding in in the go.

Good luck with your decision.

Excuse typos/mistakes!!

its free and I found it easy. I know some people find it hard and cant BF , but if you can breastfeed I would just do it, saves getting out of bed at night to make a bottle, to be honest I only BF because I am lazy. My two also never minded if they got a bottle of formula at night so their dad got to feed them sometimes.

I breastfed for 18 months and I found it was the easiest part of looking after a baby. The rest was really hard. No, it didn't hurt. I think feeds tended to last about half an hour per side so often an hour. Looking after a baby takes up most of the day and feeding is a big part of that.

I did FF with DS1 and BF and FF with DS2. I too like a routine and have never found sterilising a hassle. Boil a kettle put the boiled water into the sterile bottles and then use those bottles for the next 12-24 hours. Then start again. Likewise I also found BF quite easy, probably because I put no pressure on myself. I think that is key, be open about everything, and do not beat yourself up about any decisions you make. The decision to BF or not, whether you can or can't will not be the reason your baby ends up in the therapy chair when they are older. ;-))) after all no one starts a counselling session with "all my problems stemmed from when I was/wasn't bf".

Good luck. Xx

Ps I don't think I will ever forget the complete shock to the system bringing home DS1 and thinking I was in charge of another human!!

BFing DS was difficult and painful, but we continued for 20months. Most people would have quit if they'd had my experience.

BFing DD is very easy. 4 weeks in she's gaining pounds, feeds rarely last longer than 10 minutes and we need far less paraphernalia when leaving the house. Last night she went 5 hours between feeds. At 4 weeks!

And there's no question that there are health benefits for both of us.

I love bf, here's a couple of resources I think you will find useful.

this book is fantastic, I recommend it to everyone. Most bf books only focus on good bits of bf, but this one has quite a lot on what might go wrong and how to fix it.

kellymom is a good website too.

Lots of useful info on bf in both.

Good luck with whatever you choose and congratulations on your pregnancy

So I have FF the first dc and bf my second. My experience is:

1- I did try (for a couple of days!) bfing dc1 and gave up, mainly because I had no idea what to do. I didn't think I would bf. BUT what struck me is that I actually really really enjoyed that experience even though it was hard, didn't quite work etc...
So I would say you can't quite say whether it's for you or not until you have actually tried it yourself.
2- dc1 was in a routine just as dc2. Not the same one but a routine nevertheless that worked around dc1.
3- Yes dc2 did feed for long periods at the time but it was lovely to have an 'excuse' to just veg on the sofa watching crap TV. It actually did me a lot of good because I needed to get some rest and I wouldn't have done it otherwise.
and 3a- I didn't get much more done with dc1 than with dc2 anyway!
4- First weeks were painful (About 6 weeks). But I did have some issues with nipples that were too big. As soon as dc2 grew big enough, the pain went. No issue with latching, mastitis etc...
I would recommend to do your homework before giving birth. Eg I wish I had known that putting your baby on the breast asap when they are born helps the milk supply build up. I would have needed the name and tel of a bfing counsellor at hand 'just in case' etc... Also knowledge is power and it's easier to get that knowledge when things are quite than when you are stressed because you have a grumpy baby.
5- Bf was actually easier when out and about. No need to think ahead about bottle, sterilizing etc...
6- DH helped with night feeds with dc1, obviously couldn't with dc2. But I didn't find it more tiring to get up and feed him compare to get up half of the time and gave dc1 a bottle. maybe due to the hormones involved in bfing?
7- FF or Bfing had no impact on how i did bond with dc1 and dc2.
8- I had planned to bf for about 6 weeks and thought I would do extremely well if I was feeding for 3 months. As it turns out I bf dc2 until he was 1yo and in retrospect should have carried on because it was nice and easy :)
BUT the reality is that I think you should start with no expectation of what you will do or not. Give it a try if you want and see how it goes. It might not very enjoyable or something fantastic. You never know :)

I bf my ds until he was 6 months and to be honest it was horrible at the start, bad latch, bleeding nipples, bad supply, so painful in the first couple of weeks that I would cry when he needed a feed.
But it got better, I agree with what everyone says in that you can just leave the house with a few nappies and wet wipes. Lots of sitting on the sofa watching films (get love film!)
Whatever you chose to do you will still be doing what's best for your baby because your their mum, enjoy your pregnancy and don't stress to much!

Am bf as I type, 4 month old boy. First feed was a dream, then a couple tricky days due to poor latch and sleepy baby. Once we got the hang of it, it's been great.

It's convenient - I've tried bottles for expressed milk and find the washing/sterilising a faff. It's easy to do out and about.
I imagine night feeding with bottles would be a pain - bf you just grab baby and pop them on.

It's been great for comforting post jabs etc too.

Only advice I'd give is if you do it try to not let your baby feed to sleep once they're a few weeks old - that creates a whole lot of bother (see many other threads).

I love feeding my boy and seeing him grow.

When I hear all this faff about bottle feeding I wonder what on earth people are doing that takes them so long?! I mean it's no more time consuming than making tea. Putting bottles in a steriliser is not hard or that time consuming. You have to wash dishes etc so just wash the bottles at the same time. Takes minutes. Or better yet get DH/DP to do it.
Anyway OP, I'd try BF and if you hate it, can't or don't want to do it then FF instead. The ready made is great for nightfeeds and try to see if baby will take a carton at room temperature as then you just take a bottle and carton to bed, pour it in and you're done, you don't even have to get out of bed.

I think compared to just getting a breast out if the baby grumbles, boiling water, counting out spoonfuls of milk, cooling it to drinking temperature while the baby complains, washing, sterilising etc does sound like a faff. Not to mention always having to have milk in. I really struggled once my DS was drinking cow's milk just in always needing to have fresh milk and clean cups about

I found bfeeding a piece of piss both times.

I can't imagine bottle feeding takes up less time, as the baby can't hold its own bottle, plus you have to clean and sterlise and warm and all that guff.

With breastfeeding it's always there, always sterile and always the right temperature.

You won't care about getting things done anyway!

I'm not saying FF is easier than BF just saying that FF'ing really is not that much hassle. It just becomes something you do without a thought. I can safely make bottles whilst half asleep. If you are not used to FF it may seem like loads of work but I found it easy once I was used to it. Just like people find BF easy once they are used to it. Both BF and FF are hard at first then they are a piece of piss after that for most people.
I just find the faff argument about bottle feeding annoying. It really doesn't take hours.

I found bf difficult for the first week or two, just finding the right position and so on, no pain that I can recall. After that, it was incredibly easy and tbh I struggled to understand why anyone would bother using formula! I'm quite lazy, and was so glad that I didn't have to worry about sterilising bottles etc. Bf was also really convenient when out and about - it was always available and didn't need any advance planning, so much easier to be spontaneous.

We weren't that bothered about routine so can't comment on that really, but had friends who breastfed and were very into their routines, so presumably they managed it. BF did take up much of the day when dd was very small, but I think babies just take up the day anyway, don't they?! I was quite happy to have an excuse to sit around and rest, anyway! And dd became much more efficient as she got older.

DS - I breastfed for 5 weeks and it was all going well...I was finding it relatively easy although I don't think I got as far as getting him into a routine with it. Then I went down with flu and my milk dried up and could never get it going again, so I had no choice but to ff. I was disappointed that bf-ing didn't work out for me but my experience of ff-ing DS was pretty good apart from the first 4 months. He had colic for the first 4 months and my feeling was that he was having problems digesting the formula milk and he also had terrible constipation, which I think was formula-related too But once he was over these initial problems it was pretty plain sailing. He was in a very reliable routine from very early on, he was sleeping through the night at about 16 weeks and he was a very happy and easy baby. No idea how much this had to do with ff-ing rather than bf-ing though. But I do know that at the time, out of my 'mum' friends, all of whom were bf-ing, I seemed to be having the 'easiest' time with my baby. I also liked that I knew exactly when he would need his next feed and never got caught out.

DD - I was determined to bf after things didn't work out with DS and this time I managed it for 6 months. But in honesty, although I LOVED bf-ing her, it wasn't easy for me, I don't know why. I felt like, and was always worried, that I wasn't producing enough for her, she wasn't satisfied even though I seemed to spend quite a good chunk of the day attached to my boob, I couldn't get into any kind of routine with her, and she was a terrible daytime napper....for the first six months she wouldn't nap for longer than 15mins at a time (although slept through the night from 5 weeks) and she was always really overtired and frankly, miserable. I didn't know what to do with her and I was miserable too. At 6 months I finally decided to call it a day with the bf-ing and started exclusively ff-ing. Within 3 days of doing this she started napping properly (for up to about 1.5 hours...something she had NEVER done before) and within a week I felt like she was in something that resembled a routine.

I don't think we'll be having more children, but if we did I would definitely try again with bf-ing and would try to do it for at least 12 weeks, and maybe 6 months or longer if it worked out. But my experience is that bf-ing hasn't come easily to me and my DC have been happier, 'easier' babies on formula.

I have done both, FF with one, and BF another.

The problem with my BF the first was my mind set. It was all a shock, time consuming, felt too trapped, could not get into a rythum it, expressed, got milk all in a mess. Lasted 8 weeks FF and BF then phased it out.

Second time round gave myself a target of 3 months, possibly mixing again, but second time round, as I know what to expect, better prepaid, had ELC this time too, I BF, no expressing even, and am still BF now.

I have found it so much easier, we have a routine, but its not around feeding...it doesn't need to be, when she is hungry, she feeds.....she still sleeps when she is tired which is at roughly the same times each day etc. So much easier at night to put on boob than faff round with bottles.

If you can do it, I think your doing yourself a favour as much as the baby, however, as someone who has done both this is not a criticism to the FF feeders!

• SHE seemed to spend a good chunk of the day attached to my boob!

To be honest, I was in tears with the pain, and this lasted a couple of weeks or so. All down to lack of advice in the first few days. I am bloody minded though, and kept going. It got so much easier and I breastfed my son to ten months, albeit with some formula after a couple of months. It got easier and easier and I remember feeding him around the supernarket etc. you actually BOTH need to learn how to do it, and in the end we were ace at it. And we travelled lit as a result.
However, I remember the toe curling days and the every thirty minutes days and the clamped-to-the-sofa days and the time we went away for our anniversary (daft idea - baby was two weeks old but 'should' have been 4wks) and he fed non-stop 6pm to 2am. However, remember you have given birth to a baby, not a routine, and go with the flow (literally!).
It is TOTALLY worth the short-term pain for the very long-term gain and I plan to do it all over again.
An excellent book is The Food of Love by Kate (Evans?). Has all sorts of positions to try and good if having twins etc.
And put Lansinoh on after every feed, even of you don't think you need it!
Have to say that when my son switched to formula, it was a complete faff.
For us, co-sleeping was a massive help too. I could just roll over and fall asleep whilst he fed.
Good luck!

I ff my 1st and bf my other 2 and honestly bf was for me
easier... I didnt have to get out of bed at night and go downstairs to make a bottle up they were both easier babies although im not sure if that was anything to do with bf.

It hurt me for the first week.. and they both put weight on quickly the feeds once established took about 15 minutes alot quicker then my first taking a bottle.

The other thing is, do not let people tell you that they are feeding too much if bf. they will not overeat, and the reason there is a longer gap between feeds for ff babies is that it is harder to digest, simple as that. Whenever I thought I could give up, the thought of the ingredients on formula (esp. mashed up fish - in floweryer language) kept me going!

for my first bf was a nightmare: horribly painful, went on for hours on end, never had a good supply- I did little else apart from feed him while in agony and he didn't gain weight properly and my supply pretty much disappeared by 3 months (I had tons of top notch advice by the way from NCT, la leche league, breastfeeding network etc but none of it seemed to help and they never found a reason.) I have a few friends who have had similar experiences and some who have had a much easier time. I loved FF- found it incredibly convenient (sterilising the bottles etc used to take about 10 mins a day and if you do it properly you can make up the bottles for the whole day at one time and keep them in the fridge- people will come on and tell you that you can't but this advice was from a top paediatric gastroenterologist.) For me bottle feeding was convenient and bonding as I could look into my DC's eyes rather than having him smushed into my chest and my DH could take a full part in his feeding too.

I'm about to have DC2 any day now. I will try breastfeeding again but if it's anything like last time I'll move onto formula sharpish. Good luck OP- everyone is different- both methods of infant feeding are fine. Don't let anyone guilt you into anything. Everyone's experiences are different so do what's right for you.