Going out for the first time with BF baby - encouragement, advice and positive experiences please.

Runswithsquirrels · 2013-07-19T10:45:54+00:00

I've got a week and a half old and because of post birth recovery and the hot weather we have yet to venture outdoors. The longer I leave it the more worried I become: what will I do if she cried on the bus? Where will I feed her? What if she demands constant feeding whilst I am out? I have no friends or family nearby. Please tell me I can do this.

Forgetfulmog · 19/07/2013 11:49

Congratulations!

The first time I ventured out was to a local bf support group - it's a great way to bf out of the house & you get to meet lovely people too!

My dd was a nightmare to latch on - up to 2 hours sometimes so I sympathise but honestly you'll be fine.

Maybe go for a walk first before venturing onto public transport if you're a bit worries, but I don't think you need to really.

Just enjoy it!

Willdoitinaminute · 19/07/2013 12:02

Make your first visit to a shopping centre/mall. Great in this weather because they have aircon. Check out facilities for baby changing online so you know where you can breastfeed in private if you are not confident in public. If you have a John Lewis locally they have fantastic baby facilities. New babies are crap at temp control so probably not good to go to outdoor venue yet.
Failing that just a short walk locally to get her used to her pram/pushchair you can build up your confidence without being too far from home.
Google baby friendly/breastfeeding facilities in your area. I remember my amazement at how much is out there when my sister and I had a trip to Birmingham with my eldest niece when she was a baby, that was 13 years ago. Having spent time with her I was far more confident about venturing out with my DS. My sis and I were in your position back then.

TheBakeryQueen · 19/07/2013 12:13

You can do it! And congratulations

Have you got a sling? They are great for feeding newborns in.

But also, as it's so hot, I wouldn't put yourself under pressure to do anything as such.

It's ok to just chill & enjoy your new baby.

AidanTheRevengeNinja · 19/07/2013 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Runswithsquirrels · 19/07/2013 13:09

Thank you.
We'll aim for a walk to the park when the temperature drops a little in the evening.

OP posts:

BurntCheeseStinks · 19/07/2013 13:18

It will be lovely! Remember to enjoy it :) and think how great it is to be out and about with your baby. If you need to feed, sit on a bench with the pram parked in front of you - that gave me the illusion of privacy when I did that! And I took a muslin to cover us up a bit as I wasn't very discrete at that stage. If she cries, often the pram bumping along soothes them so try that for a minute, otherwise just stop and feed-the beauty of BFing and of lovely weather!

BurntCheeseStinks · 19/07/2013 13:30

It will be lovely! Remember to enjoy it :) and think how great it is to be out and about with your baby. If you need to feed, sit on a bench with the pram parked in front of you - that gave me the illusion of privacy when I did that! And I took a muslin to cover us up a bit as I wasn't very discrete at that stage. If she cries, often the pram bumping along soothes them so try that for a minute, otherwise just stop and feed-the beauty of BFing and of lovely weather!

Petcat · 19/07/2013 16:42

I was exactly where you are 6 weeks ago. It took me 3 weeks to leave the house with my newborn DD.

I chose to go to a breastfeeding support group for our first outing and I'm so glad I did. It helped my confidence no end, and I have made some lovely friends too. I second John Lewis for good baby facilities. However I have definitely got braver as DD's become less fussy at latching and I've got more efficient at positioning her to preserve my modesty. I've now fed her in all kinds of places I never imagined I'd be brave enough to try.

Now my favourite place to feed her is the park - I find a shady spot under a lovely tree, use the pushchair to create a little private space and feed away. Heavenly in this hot weather! My memories of my daughter's early days will definitely involve these lovely moments. A sunhat on your baby will also help hide any boob if she latches on and off a lot.

Good luck, I hope it goes well for you today!

ab00 · 19/07/2013 18:26

Second sitting under a tree in the park, its lovely! Also a bf cafe/ support group is good for makibg friends as is a baby massage class if you can find one near you (im still friends with the girls from when I went with ds1!). Also can be good to have oh with you on first outings or a close friend or relative for a bit of moral support or just to pass you something you need if you're feeding (or in this heat lovingly fan you!). Maybe stay close to home for your own piece of mind. The first time is the scariest but after that it gets easier & soon you'll wonder what you ever worried about! Enjoy it, you'll be fine & don't forget to let us know how it goes!

NicolaSeal · 19/07/2013 23:42

I did it (twice) for the first time today. Walked to John Lewis & fed him under a muslin while having a late lunch (I had practised at home n front of the mirror!). Then he needed feeding while walking home, so stopped off at a park & sat under a tree. My hubbie was with me but I feel confident now to do it on my own now :-)

itsaruddygame · 20/07/2013 04:37

I used a nursing cover at first - I struggled to get him latched on and felt self conscious. My first feed was in a cafe with DH and my mum and I also took a blanket to roll up on my knee as a cushion as my son was small and hard to position without it. The cover and cushion really helped me and I felt comfortable feeding in public quite quickly. I also found visiting a local baby group a good place to start feeding without the cover as there are lots of people doing the same thing as you.

Now I feed pretty much anywhere ...... I love feeding outside in this weather and now we have both got the hang of it it is incredibly easy and convenient (DS is 18 weeks). I have also had lots of positive comments from people and have chatted to women from young to old about them feeding their babies which I love. Good luck .... You will be confident in no time : )

KeepTheFaithBaby · 20/07/2013 07:45

I found it gets easier the more I do it. FWIW I've never had grief feeding in public. I was feeding at a village fair a couple of weeks ago and a lady came up and said Can I just say what a lovely sight that is! :)

My baby fell asleep on the bus as soon as it started moving! It's worth feeding before going out if baby shows any signs if hungry. That gives me more confidence. My local Mothercare feeding room is lovely but I tend to go to anywhere I can sit down with a drink as long as the chair has a supportive back. Good luck!

squidkid · 20/07/2013 08:13

Congratulations and I don't blame you at all for struggling to go out in this heat, feeding issues aside.

I think going out will probably be absolutely fine though... in my experience babies cry and feed a lot LESS in prams/slings, unless you stop!

Places with lots of babies around can make you feel more confident, there will be others crying, feeding, hopefully breastfeeding and then it doesn't seem like such a big deal. If you are outside I would make sure you are in the shade. A shaded corner of a park might be ok, if you can manage on a bench or sitting on the grass. A sofa is good - in a cafe maybe? I liked feeding in the children's library because there were lots of mums around and it felt safe. A breastfeeding group or a baby group is a good idea, especially one aimed at young babies as there will likely be more breastfeeders there. I personally wouldn't like to hide inside a toilet, feeding area, etc even if I wasn't confident - it's so depressing to be locked away from life - much nicer to be around supportive people. I was all over the place at first but you get used to it so quickly and I guarantee you any looks you get will be people lusting/brooding after your tiny newborn, not looks of disapproval. In 9 months of feeding I have never had a off comment, or look. I have had lots of nice comments and looks though. The best bit about going out with a newborn is everyone is so nice to you and so interested.

Good luck. Little bit cooler here today, hope it is there too.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 20/07/2013 08:24

You'll both be fine. Start a feed about an hour before you need to go out and before that have everything you need ready in a pile. Then when you need to leave the house, all you need to do is unlatch your lo and go.

I would use a sling on public transport - so much easier than lugging a pram about.

Everyone has made great suggestions about where to go. But I would like to add that I have bf 3 dc out and about and I've never had a negative comment. People who look do so out of curiosity, interest, and most don't even realise you are feeding because although it doesn't feel like it, it really is discreet. You also get woman (like me) looking at you longingly, remembering those blissful times of bf'ing your baby

The NCT have a free baby changing app. I'll see if I can find it and link to it.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 20/07/2013 08:26

here's the app

KeepTheFaithBaby · 20/07/2013 08:48

Ilike that's really useful, just downloaded it, thanks!

ab00 · 20/07/2013 16:55

Well done you, twice on your first trip out! It will only get easier from now! Enjoy your new freedom with your lo!

Original poster

Runswithsquirrels · 21/07/2013 21:53

Thanks for the app!

OP posts:

MaMaPo · 21/07/2013 22:00

Enjoy it! You have loads of good ideas on here. I echo those who say that they have not found any negativity out there - I bf anywhere and everywhere (yesterday, in the middle of a pedicure! very often on tubes/buses/restaurants, wherever I am) and the most comment I ever get is from women, usually older, who say 'That is such a lovely sight!' Lots of positive looks from people too.

I am a bit envious of you though - my daughter was born in December, so all the hours and hours of newborn feeding happened indoors. If I went for a walk anywhere, I always had to be close to somewhere warm to sit and feed. Being able to stop in parks and feed in this weather - heaven!

Congratulations on your baby.

Original poster

Runswithsquirrels · 23/07/2013 12:20

First trip out completed but no need to BF. signed new contract at letting agents, went to the bank and post office. The LO slept through it all.

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Original poster

Runswithsquirrels · 09/08/2013 07:13

I did it. I had a friend with me who had BF her two when they were little. I fed in Starbucks and then had to feed in a restaurant whilst I ate. I his behind a Jojomamanbebe BF cardigan which was a little warm bit very concealing.
Thanks for the support x

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KristinaM · 09/08/2013 07:19

Well done OP. I hope your confidence grows so you can go out and about as normal. I BF in public for 5 years ( different babies ) and never had a single thing said to me. If there were any dirty looks I missed them. I never used a cover, just a cardigan or scarf strategically draped .

And congratulations on your baby :-)