Need help with 10.5 month old milk routine - refusing bedtime BF

[littlelionman]

Help! I need some advice on milk timing - I've got myself into a complete muddle.

My LO is 10.5 months old. He was EBF until 6 months, and was a bottle refuser so was demand fed from boob only. From 6 months he gradually accepted the odd bottle of EBM or formula. For the last couple of months he's had his daytime milk (formula) from bottles quite happily.

Until about 3 weeks ago he was in a routine of morning BF, late morning bottle, afternoon bottle, bedtime BF, 2 night BFs (he's never slept through). We then changed his bedtime routine so his last BF was before his bath because he had such a strong feed-sleep association.
Since then he's been fine at going to bed, but has almost completely lost interest in the evening BF. He's also dropped to 1 night feed which he will now take from boob or bottle. He's variable as to whether he has much of a BF in the morning.

I'm very ready to stop BF for many reasons so I'm not concerned about the loss of interest in the boob (just surprised because he was such a boob monster). My concern is that the last milk of the day he's taking is now 3.30-4pm and this doesn't seem late enough in the day to get him sleeping through the night - last night he had a big feed at at 11pm because he was hungry. So his routine at the moment is variable BF on waking (lots today in the heat), bottle 11am-ish, bottle 3.30pm-ish, about 30 seconds on the boob at 6.30pm, 1 night feed (11pm or 3am - last night I switched him from BF to formula with no problem).

He doesn't seem to be specifically refusing the boob - he had a very long happy BF this morning.

He's a good eater, and is on 3 meals & 2 small snacks a day.

So when would be sensible to give him milk?! Does anyone else have a LO who doesn't have any milk near bedtime? Or should I make his 5pm dinner earlier? Help?!

Bump! Help!!!

At that age DS would have milk roughly in this routine, with the odd rice cake/fruit/snack thrown in.

6-7am - milk
8am - breakfast
10am - milk
11.30am - lunch
2pm - milk
4.30-5pm - dinner
6-6.30pm - milk
12am - dream feed

We do milk before bath too due to reflux. I bought the dreamfeed half an hour earlier every three days and night weaned once it reached 9pm.
May be think about the routine that would suit you and work on that?

If he's not wanting milk before bed I would say reduce or drop the afternoon feed but I would be hesitant about dropping day feeds in case he then makes up for it at night IYSWIM. Unless you're happy with it of course.

By 12months he was having 2-3 day feeds (7, 10 & 6pm) and then dropped the 10am feed about a month later. I was amazed how quickly it changed. He has a sandwich now around 3pm instead and snacks mid morning.

Hope thus helps!

he doesnt have to have milk before bed if he doesnt want it. What about a snack before bedtime instead?

Thanks very much - that's great advice.

I think like many things I'm a bit too focused on a bedtime feed because that's what they're 'supposed' to do. Except they're all different.

I might try moving lunchtime a bit earlier - we do 12-12.30, but 11.30 would mean earlier afternoon milk and then maybe more of an evening appetite?

I feel like every time I have the feeling that I know how to do things, it all changes again so quickly and I have to play catch-up!