How did you keep going?

[CareerGirl01]

Dd2 is three week old tomorrow. Yesterday we managed a trip to the seaside - all I did bar the one hour there and back - was feed her. Then in the evening she didn't settle till gone 11pm. We end up giving her a bottle of FF most days around 10pm - and she gulps it down. But rarely settles afterwards. What made me dispair was she was crying so much I wondered if she was starving hungry. Really want to BF her till 6 months. It's going so well for us I just need to know how other mums managed.

To be honest I'm impressed at you managing a trip to the seaside with her at three weeks!

Not able to help more though as I'm in a similar position with dd who loves to feed whereas DS would feed with three hour gaps like clockwork.

I hope my dd will slowly extend her feeds but in the meantime I deal with things by not viewing breastfeeds as lost time but instead as bonding time with dd,

Well done for keeping going! It gets so much better and so much easier. My DD is 7 months old now and feeding takes about 19 minutes every 4 hours
In the early days I took it one feed at a time and tried not to think too far in advance. When I thought about giving up (which was often!) I set a date in the future, i.e. a weeks time, to review it and if things hadn't improved at all then I'd stop. Each time I reviewed it had got a little better!! Good luck

I may be odd but I scheduled myself - bear with me! - ds2 would feed incessantly and I struggled to cope initially due to ds1 and dd.
I did 2 things, in desperation really, I learned how to feed in a sling so could be hands free & on the move.
I scheduled times for me to be 'bonding time' - it had worn me down & I had lost that wonderful element. I was feel tired and resentful of my baby. So as he was feeding anyway (sometimes 6 or 8 hours a stretch ) instead of never focussing on feeding due to him being in the sling I made sure I had at least two feeds a day where I sat comfy and tried to remember to just look at how perfect/small/cute he was.
It really helped to knock the frustration on the head. It was actually over in weeks and that feels like nothing now, I never thought I would be missing the relentless grind of it.

Feeding in the sling is not a magic bullet & doesn't work for everyone but I'm so glad I did. I really think I would have gone mad otherwise. He was a bottle refuser as well

It does get a lot better and if you can express for a feed or two from someone else (easier said than done with expressing) that helped me too with ds1 and the others.
Good luck, you are doing amazingly though- the seaside!

It passes. At 3 Weeks I want trying to go anywhere except the local shop/library (and when I got to the village library I often had to feed ds). But by 2 months it was much easier, he could go longer between feeds and always having a supply of clean, fresh milk available was invaluable.

Be careful with bf in the sling though, is possible to smoother a baby like that. I could never work it out anyway, but from about 6-12 Weeks could feed ds stood up with him in my arms before he became too much of a heffalump

I sort of miss cluster feeds now. We just spent the whole evening snuggled up and I would eat chocolate whilst ds feed for hours.

3 weeks is a classic growth spurt so it should get better fairly soon until the next one

Sheer bloody minded-ness at times! Determination to breast feed. I know there's nothing wrong with formula but I felt like I wanted to give BF a good chance. I am also
Impressed that you went so far so early. When my DD was 3 weeks old we went to the pub and sat in the beer garden and she did nothing but feed the whole time! Definitely growth spurt time. I found it easier when I gave myself permission to do less. I planned a couple of days a week when we didn't go anywhere and I just concentrated on her.

Make sure you're eating well and drinking plenty during these feeds to give you stamina!

Like one of the other posters said I'd give myself a date in the future (usually one week ahead) to review it then. When I got to that date I'd normally find things had got easier and so set another date. I also decided never to make a decision to FF on a bad day, and that I'd always wait until I was in a good mood to test whether I really did want to switch or I'd just been having a bad day.

I found at 6 weeks things got a lot easier. I am also impressed you managed a trip to the beach - a trip to the local shop felt like a big achievement for me at 3 weeks!

If you are feeding so regularly I doubt your baby is starving hungry, the way bottles are designed it often looks like babies are gulping the milk down, but it could be the flow is faster. If you did a bottle of expressed milk it would look like the baby was gulping it too.

Even at 4 months I still have unfounded doubts about my supply, I think it's perfectly normal. With breastfeeding you can't see how much is going into them and you have to have a bit of confidence in yourself that it's all working ok. You could always ring one of the breastfeeding helplines, or go to a bf cafe for some reassurance. If your baby is gaining weight, has wet and dirty nappies then that's the sign all is working as it should. Also soon your supply will settle down and you won't feel as 'full' as you did at the beginning, lots of women take this as a sign that they aren't producing enough milk so they stop bf but actually all that is happening is that your body is adjusting and only making the amount your baby needs.

Thank you all!! Can't do the sling at the moment - had an ELCS and the surgeon found loads of scaring and adhesions from the EMCS I had with DD1 - I was quite ill after I had her hence I didn't manage to breastfeed after having her; so this is my first time. I'm going to take it a week at a time and try the sling after my soreness has gone. I am determined and bloody minded - and also enjoying BF my daughter. Lots of hugs xxx

It gets better so quickly (but yes, feels like an age).
I never breastfed in a sling but used them to get dd to settle/nap in.
Like a pp I just made the decision to 'treat' myself throughout the day. If I had to be sat on my arse feeding, I was damn well going to make a nice cup of tea first and have the biscuit tin on standby.
I mumsnetted like crazy, and felt less alone/insane.
It gets better.
It gets better.
It gets better.

This morning DD paused in the middle of feeding to grin best moment so far!

Re time scales, I think it's sensible to have review points. My DH suggested formula a lot when I was resistant and all we could do is agree to review it weekly.

It really does get better. Honestly!

I'm surprised you managed to get ANYWHERE 3 wks after a c-section! I'm sure at that time I was bfeeding dd for around 18 hours out of every 24. Gradually it gets easier, I promise. To the point that she's now 7 and a half months and still only had bm (and solids- no formula is my point) and we've just been on holiday- she goes 4+ hours between milk, will feed anywhere, and it now takes a max of ten mins. And if I'm honest, I miss the days of long feeds! At bedtime especially- she used to go for almost an hour, but now it's ten mins tops.

Keep at it- you're doing a wonderful thing for your baby x

I was just determined that I would never give formula. I wanted to bf and I kept telling myself that dd was my priority and it could only get better, right? Of course it did get better, a couple of months in. Also bear in mind that it was hot yesterday, particularly as you'd gone to a beach and dd (May born) always fed more when it was hot. She liked little and often and when this coincided with a growth spurt, I fed for about 23hrs out of 24 it seemed like.

I had two emcs too and you're right to listen to your body. I found that a sling was fine actually, particularly second time round as they're quite high up as tiny babies and there was no pressure on my wound.

The constant feeding is helping to increase your milk supply. Soon baby will go longer between feeds and become more efficient so taking less time.

My DD was exactly the same. By 6 weeks things had settled down a lot. Now 15 weeks she feeds about every 1.5 - 2 hours (longer at night) but only takes about 5 minutes.

Now we can go out anywhere and stay out as long as we like (provided we've got nappies), no faffing around with sterilising etc and it's great for getting her off to sleep.

Stick with it, I'm sure it will get easier soon. As others have said, I sort of miss the cluster feeding - it would be a good excuse to get through a few box sets and be waited on by DH!