16 mo, when to wean?

[cherryade8]

Until 14mo dd was bf pretty much on demand, day and night, which we both loved. Then I went back to work three days a week, so weaned her off the day feeds so she would settle easier with childminder and not feel sheewas missing out on bf whilst she was there iyswim.

However, over the past couple of months she's started bfing more and more at night (we cosleep) to the point I'm so exhausted I can barely function. She wakes anything upto twenty times a night, though often it's more a case of her being unsettled and bobbing on and off bf for an hour or so at a time.

She's settled well at childminder. I'm thinking of stopping bf completely at this rate as its just not viable to keep going on so little sleep. However dd is very attached to bf and I know loves it before bed and during the night, I'd feel so sad and guilty to stop... Ideally I wanted to continue to age 2 :-(

Does anyone have any ideas as to why she's feeding so much at night? And how I can remedy this? Would resuming day feeds be an option, though she would miss out on days when I'm at work?

Tia.

Not quite the same but DS also upped his night feeds when I went back to work at 11mo, and had stopped feeding in day for similar reasons to you. He also did the bob on off thing, for hours.

I found that if I was in bed with him he would, like your DD, bob on and off. So I stopped co-sleeping (which I was only doing for part of the night anyway; he started night in own cot and I would join him on a futon in nursery after the first waking at about midnight) and tried to make sure I stayed awake during feeds so I could return him to cot once he seemed fairly deep asleep.

Then when he was 12mo I gradually reduced the amount of time I let him feed at night - eventually down to just five mins or so at each waking. Would put him down and let him snuggle my hand if he needed to settle. Then once he was happy with five mins or less I just stopped one night - when he woke I went in to him and cuddled or shushed etc, so he was never alone or too upset. Took two nights before he stopped waking at all, though he now wakes early - about 5/5.30. Compared to previous nights of waking and bobbing on off, I am prepared to accept the early waking!

He is 14mo now, I still feed evening and morning and occassionally at night if nothing else works (this has happened twice).

Appreciate you might want to keep co-sleeping, but I think No Cry Sleep Solution has ideas on how to encourage them to sleep a bit away from you to prevent the bob on/off thing.

Thanks Blossom and sorry for my slow reply! I think I'm going to have to stop the night feeds completely so your experience is really useful! I'm planning to feed dd tonight before bed and then let dh settle her in her cot (hes never got involved with nights before) then dh will resettle her if she wakes before I go to bed at 10. I think I'll probably let her carry on cosleeping as we both like it.

I'm prepared for a hard few nights, I know when I didn't feed her during the night before it took 1h30m for her to go back to sleep, though it's more of a complaining and cross protest she makes than a cry, I think she's becoming a toddler...